Your Archetypical High School AU
Okay you guys, you know what I'm talking about here. I, for one, L-O-V-E, love AU's! Especially very inventive, adult, fresh ones. But this is the archetypical "Tokyo high" or "Kyoto high" high school RuroKen fanfic. The AU is a delicate subject to rant on, for me, because it can be done well, see Chiki's When the World Revolves Around You, and other masterpieces. Also, some of the qualities that will be listed here can be really quite funny, if done competently.
So tread carefully here, my friends, because this is the tale of dreadful characterization, random stupidity, attempt at drama, tedium, and the like. These are the AU's that the dumpsters are filled with, people, and I want to help preserve the environment from more landfills.
Oh yeah, and I have news…..I have finally collected enough barf bags so that I can write Soujiro in without ruining my carpeting. I love Sou so much, it hurts me to put him in these things, but he must, for maybe it will help others to understand him better, and learn not to take him for granted.
THIS IS A PARODY, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, BAKAToday's Perfect Chibi Angel Elisa tale will be a revolting exhibition, featuring:
*Haphazard insertions that are not funny!
*Japanese schools that are suspiciously American! (thank you, merlock12)
*Bland couplings!
*Irritating squabble scenes!
*Over-culturing!
*Anomalous transformations into fantasy crap!
*More character bashing!
*More MS placing!
*And other migraine provoking things!
So, with much research, and detail to get the wrongness exactly right, I present to you…
Your Archetypical High School AU!!
By the infamous PCAE
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Skool wit the KenShin gumeeBy Perfect Chibi Angel Elisa
AN? Hi hihi, you guyz! I just found out who this Sojiroh guy is, and of course I know all about EniSHi, and Saito. So they will be in this story, becuz they are kool. Oh yeah, and I wrote this in tne minues, so if you could point out my very few misteakes, id be happy. And I want to see ten reviews or more to continue this, so review, stupid people. Oh yeah, and Kenshin, Sano, Ashi, EniShi, Heko, Sojirou, Saito, and all of guyz are MINE, biznatch!
On the frist day of skool, Kenshin and Kaoru and Megumi and Sano and Misao and Aoshi were sitting at their usual lunch table in the quad and eating lunch. "yo, what up, Kenshin?" sano asked as he sat down with them. Aoshi was quiet even tho Miaso was glomping onto him arm. He frowned and tried to shake her off, and Koaru laughed loudly. "hahaha, in the hizzy!"
Then Yahiko came up even tho he was two years younger he still had the same lunch period as them. "Hi, Busu, everyone. What up, dawg?" He greeted. Kaoru's face turned red, and she hit him with a bouken, and he had a big lump and called her a racoon and he called him a brat. Just then the lunch bell rang, and every1 headed to they're lockers.
"Oh, Sanosuke!" Ohohohoho! Megumi fox ears popped up, and she and Sano started snogging in front of her locker. Just then, Saito the wolf of Mebu came up to them, and hit Sano on the shoulder. "No kissing in the halls," he said, because he was the principal, probably. He smoked his cig, and threw it in the trash as he walked away and gave them detention.
Watch out, we're going to be late! Kenshin called. They all ran to class, except ShiShiO.
Kenshin took Kaoru's hand, and they kissed. AN; this is AU, peeps, so Kenshin is OOC and much more gutsyer) When they got to their class, A101, Spanish, they sat next to eachother. The teacher was….Heko?
"Sheesho? What are you doing here? Asked kenShin . "I'm the sensai, now, baka student he said, drinking sakie. Kenshin shrugged, turned around to look at Misao, who also shrugged.
They were writing notes to eachother in class and this is what they said:
Kenshin-
I love you
-Kaoru
Misao-
I love you, will you marry me?
-Aoshi
Aoshi-
Whaa? I thought you didn't talk!
-Misao
Aoshi: I don't talk, this is notes, not talking, and I love you marry me
Misao: ok
Sano: Meet you behind the gym after school
Megumi: make it lunch
Just then, ShiShiO walked in late, and the teacher got him in trouble. Heko was yelling at him, but he just burst into flames and Yummi died with him. The class looked sad for like maybe…five minuets? But then everything was back to normal. They were talking about rock concerts and how the Juppongatana group lost their leaders. The TV shows were good these days, and they all were watching MTV all of the time. Kenshin was the captain of the kendoh team, and Aoshi, Sano, Uswee, Enishi, and Sojiroh where on it. Kaoru was the student council presedent, and Megumi was the vice, Misao was the secratary, and Yumi used to be the tresurer, but now she was dead. So Megumi and Miaso went looking for a new one. Miaso and Megumi were pretty, but Kaoru was ugly, and KenShin was trying to think of some way to dump her
Just then, Eliza walked into the classroom, and everyone fell silent. She smiled, and her teeth shine in the light, her hair was glimmery and golden, so long it almost brushed the ground, though it was smooth and perfectly brushed. Her eyes sparkld, big, bright, round, blue, the prettiest eyes ever ever. Her slim build and long legs made the school uniform look stunning, and her lips curved perfectly, and she had a huge smile, more genkee than Miaso's and gracefuller than anyone else's. Everyone starred at her for a long time and the guys were checking her out, and all of the girls got jealous. She sat down next to Kenshin and his eyes bugged out.
Then meumi said something: "Do you want to be the Student Council Tresurer?" Eliza shook her head. "no thank you. I should be the president!" and everyone agreed, they kicked Kaoru out on her stupid butt and made her the president. Just then, a boy with white hair and glasses challenged Kenshin to a duel for eliza's pure heart, and they fought feroshishly, but Kenshin one.
However, one by one, Aoshi, Sano, Chou, Anji, and even Heko and Sitto challenged Kenshin to a duel so they could have eliza. They all lost. Just then, a smiling boy ran real fast up to Kenshin, took his sword, and ran real fast away, because he was Sojiroh and all he ever did was smile and run real fast using his special heavenley sord
Just then, Tomo the ice bitch came and tried to steale Kenshin away, butt Elisa fought her with her magical crystal power in the gym, and her imperium silver crystal beat Tomo the ice queen.
So Kenshin and Elisa went out, and they're lockers had lots of flowers on valimtines day. And Sogeeroh ran real fast, and Kaoru was all sweatie, and Yahiko was brat. And all of the teechers were random people from the show.
~*^~%*~^~%OWaRy~*^~%*~^~%
Well, what d oyou think? I think it was one of my more better ones, and I want you to review. Also, check out my other stories: Miaso and AoSHI get it on, ONE FINE DAY and A Most Beautiful Girl Appears.
Plus, I want you guys to tell me what I should do next. I think that I want Sojiroh to go out wit Kaoru, but I dunno. And back off, hoes, the beeshonen are MINE!
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WHEW! That was pretty awful. So, here are my thoughts on High School AU's:
They have to be original to be well done, because so many are like that specimen just witnessed. You have to have a new flavor, and new idea, or a new love triangle…. something innovative and inventive. These stereotypical, recurring stories get so monotonous and dumb.
Use a spellchecker, people, and put some effort into it. Make sure your nouns and verbs match, and that you end sentences with punctuation. It's not all that hard.
And the 'random people as teachers' is only funny if you put them in funny situations. And if you're going for the serious, put them in serious situations. It's no good just to stick names in and never follow up on it. If the teacher is Hiko, make him do something Hiko-like. If you've got Shishio as your sensei, make him bite someone (just kidding, but imotou-chan did it one time, and it was pretty freaking hilarious)
And stuffing in as much 2003 terminology as possible is just tacky. People get the idea it's an AU, you don't have to say TV, rock concert, DVD player and Discman every chance you get. And "what up, dawg?" gets real old real fast. (and it's pretty lame the first time, anyway) Although it's pretty funny if you do it right, like making the TV brand called Sonata instead of Sony. (Thanks, Alice4)
If the school is American, fine. But if it's Japanese, make it Japanese. Because in Japan, there are subtle differences, like the fact that the teachers move from class to class, not the students, or that the grade numbers are different, and they have special, respectful names for upperclassmen. Do a little research, and if you don't want to, make it America, piece of cake.
All righty then, about Sou-chan. He is NOT some weirdo who goes around smiling all the time and running real fast. He's so much deeper than that, one of the most multifaceted characters in the entire anime. He has emotions, contrary to popular belief, and you have to convey that they're still there, even behind the mask, and you have to do it without being too obvious. And you cannot make Soujiro go around Shukuchi-ing all of the time. It's not something he does at the drop of a hat.
Okay, and making the characters go around in a huge pack. Sano, Megumi, Kenshin, Kaoru, Misao, Aoshi, Enishi, and Yahiko are not likely all to be in the same place at the same time. For help on figuring out how to do multiple plot lines and multiple characters in different scenes, see Istoria's JIA Case Files. That should help a lot, because she does the 'together, yet apart' thing brilliantly.
And…yeah. Add your comments and opinions in reviews, as always. I love to read everyone's ideas, and so… yeah. Whether you agree with me on HS AU's is one thing, but drop me a review, want to hear from everybody, I love opinions.
Okay! There was probably something else I wanted to say, but I forgot it now, so adios, muchachas!
ESP