Jack looks around in Sam's office. He had come by to ask her if she wanted to go get some coffee, since she always needed coffee like Daniel. He thought it was good idea to help her with that. Get her coffee.
He looks at the photo she has at her desk and he smiles and sight of it. It's a photo of him, Daniel and Teal'c. She had taken the picture of the three of them at her birthday. And she had happily exclaimed that she wanted a picture of her brothers. Her boys. Jack felt a sting in his heart.
Brothers…that's how she saw them. She didn't know how he felt about her. He, Jack O'Neill was in love with her, Sam Carter in every way a man could. But she didn't know. And as far as he's concerned, he would never tell her because she deserved something better then him.... a cynical old man that never could learn new tricks.
"Me and old dogs…" he muttered to himself and glanced at his watch. Well either Sam was talking to Daniel about some alien stuff or something, or she had gone home.
Jack couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed. He wanted her to be around. There's no way the coffee would taste good now that she wasn't here.
He sighed and started to look at her papers- bored as he was. Some alien report, a letter from her dad, another report, another report.
For crying out loud!
Didn't she do anything other than reports? He made a decision to order her to get a life as soon as he met her next time.
"Wait a minute…what's this?" he picked up the paper that was handwritten. He recognised the writing as Sam's.
It started with "To Jack," and his curiosity won over his feeling of respecting her privacy.
"These words will never be spoken to you, except in my heart, because if I say them out loud it will never be the same again between us. And I would hate for that to happen."
Jack frowned and continued reading.
"I love you Jack. I love you so much that my heart aches of not being with you. I love you so much that I'm willing to die for you, knowing that you will live on. I feel my heart dance with joy every time you smile at me knowing that you will smile to me over and over again. When you're in pain and suffer alone, all I want is to hold you until that pain goes away. And in my dreams I long for the touch of your lips on mine and then I wake up, knowing it was only a dream. Because what I dream of will never happen. But I want you to know…I love you…and I always will. Because they're only room for one in my heart. And that's you.
Forever yours, even in death
Your Carter"
Jack felt tears in his eyes and found it hard to breathe. Sam loved him! She loved him!!
The paper in his hand dropped to the ground and he started crying. His heart cried for the woman who thought he didn't love her. Jack had never felt this lonely since Charlie's death.
In this moment he wanted to seek out Carter. Tell her that he loved her. Tell her that he had dreams of the two of them getting married and having children together. That he wanted those dreams to come true.
"Sir?" Carter's voice rang out.
Damn! He hadn't heard the door open. He tried to dry his tears fast so she couldn't see.
But he couldn't dry them fast enough because Carter was fast by his side.
"Sir…Jack? What's wrong?" she whispered and then caught the paper on the ground.
"I…eh…Carter…I didn't mean to…Aw Hell!" Jack cursed that he wasn't able to hold his composure together.
"Samantha Carter. You are the love of my life, I will always love you. After Charlie died, Daniel rescued me and got me to live again. But you were the one that showed me that there was possible for me to love another woman without feeling guilt and regret that I wasn't a complete idiot."
He paused for a second and looked into her glittering eyes full of tears.
"You showed me I'm only a half idiot. And I am such an idiot that I haven't said this before. I love you. My heart can only be hold by one woman and she is standing right in front of me with a wrinkly uniform…"
He took a step closer to her and he could feel her breath against his skin.
"…with blonde hair, and is crying in the most cutest way I ever have seen. But still in a way that breaks my heart, that want it to stop so I can that pretty smile that made me fall in love with you from the beginning."
Jack didn't say anything more. He was as close to her that he could get, and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips against her. He expected her to tense, for her to do something, push away.
But she responded by pulling him closer in a tight embrace, and when they came out of the kiss for air she smiled.
"I guess it's to late to archive the letter that I thought from the beginning."
Jack smiled back at her and wiped away her tears with his hands. Gently touching her face.
"I never understood why archives existed anyway. But if you really want to do it, you can put the letter among my other letters."
Carter gave him a surprised look.
"I have more than a dozen letters written to you expressing my feelings for you with some 'For crying out loud' comments thrown in."
"Well…" Sam said giggling while letting Jack wipe away her tears. "…we were both crying out loud a second ago."
"Hush now Carter and kiss me!" he said with a grin.
"That's an order sir?" her tone was playfully
"Do you want it to be?"
"Jaaack…" she whined but got stopped by his lips to her.
Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea writing that letter after all. Snuggling closer to Jack while showing him how she could kiss, she smiled at the thought of the letters that he had written. And she was really eager to read them.
"Stop thinking about how you gonna read the letters I wrote Carter."
She giggled and let herself get swept away in his arms. A place she had longed to be for a long time.
