Hell. That's what her life had been for the past three years. Ever since Willow ripped her out of heaven, nothing felt right anymore. Buffy Summers had nothing to live for.
She could fool her friends, and after Willow tried to end the world, Buffy tried to fool herself. She knew she needed to be a better friend; all of them were struggling to grow up on the Hellmouth, something that was easier said than done. They all had their problems and the only way they were going to make it out would be by helping each other. But Buffy had always had to be the strong one, and that didn't change. She needed to be there for her friends, so she had to pretend. In some ways it worked, but deep in her heart, she knew something was missing. She just didn't know what.
Walking down the school halls, she rubbed her phoenix pendant for good luck. She still had no idea where it came from, but ever since she woke up that morning with it on, she rarely took it off. Her footsteps echoed eerily on the tile floors; she was heading to the mouth of hell and instead of thinking of battle plans, or worrying, her mind kept wandering.
She had been happy and now she wasn't, not really. Life was hard, especially for her, and nothing ever seemed to go right. Her life was a classic example of Murphy's Law. But, as hard as her life was, she wasn't going to kill herself; she had responsibilities and people to protect. She was the Slayer.
'Soon,' Buffy thought, leading an army down into the mouth of hell, 'there will be hundreds of Slayers. I won't be needed as much. Would it really be that bad if I didn't survive the battle?' Buffy shook the morbid thoughts out of her head and stood up a little taller, griping the sword she held a little tighter. In all honesty, she didn't want to die, or at least not at the hands of the annoying First Evil. She wouldn't give it the satisfaction. What she needed was something more solid to live for, to fight for.
At the moment, however, she was fighting for her life, the lives of others and the fate of the world. What she really needed right now was Willow's damn spell to work! The girls couldn't hold themselves against the thousands of vampires without Slayer powers. It would be a massacre if Willow couldn't get the spell to work really soon.
"Come on, Willow!" Buffy muttered to herself, killing yet another uber-vampire that came at her.
All of a sudden, a powerful wave of magic coursed through her, unlocking a spell cast long ago. Buffy felt something happen to her and her head became jumbled, but she didn't have time to stop and think. She pushed all thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on winning the battle.
Unfortunately, her brief lapse in concentration cost her, as she missed the vampire that came up behind her, sliding his sword through her side. She dropped to the ground in pain and surprise.
The First Evil sauntered over to her, dressed like the mirror image of herself, cuts and everything. "Oh no… ow! Mommy, this mortal wound is all... itchy," it said, taunting her. "You pulled a nice trick. You came pretty close to smacking me down. What more do you want?"
Buffy was really pissed off. The bad guys weren't supposed to taunt her; she was supposed to taunt them. Her eyes flashed angrily and a slightly golden spark flared up before quickly dying away. "I want you..." Buffy began through gritted teeth, beginning to get up, "to get out of my face." Buffy stood up, forcing away the pain.
The First's look of amusement died, giving way to anger, and, was that fear? Buffy took the scythe that Rona threw at her, and started hacking away at the Turok-Hans. The others, seeing Buffy rise up, all felt encouraged and the Slayers all fought with more strength. The more Buffy fought, the less her wound hurt; soon she forgot about it altogether.
Then, Spike started to disintegrate as the amulet started to take effect. Buffy had a quick but grateful goodbye to him before Faith ushered her out, taking the red scythe with her. She never loved him; she couldn't love him, not after what he did. They used each other, but it was never love; at least not on her part.
Buffy high-tailed her butt out of there. The school was falling in under her feet and the roof was collapsing above her; chunks of plaster and cement were missing her by inches. Buffy started toward the doors, only to note the entire entrance was blocked. On the way to the stairs, she passed a figure motionless on the ground.
"Anya?" Buffy asked, stepping toward her quickly. The ex-demon had gotten on the wrong end of a sword and had lost a lot of blood, but she might make it; if they got to a hospital real soon. In any case, Buffy couldn't leave her friend here; they'd been through too much. Buffy quickly picked up the light girl and escaped to the roof.
Jumping rooftops, trying to outrun and enormous cave-in behind her and catch the bus in front of her was not easy, especially carrying a half-dead girl. Buffy briefly entertained the idea of just stopping, but some unknown strength pushed her forward.
There was a nagging in the back of her mind that made her run that little bit faster. She didn't acknowledge what it was, just listened to the desire to make it out of Sunnydale alive.
Finally she caught up with the bus and slowly pulled ahead, but how was she supposed to get on? It would take a miracle.
Using all her slayer skill and calling forth her years of training, Buffy jumped off the building she was currently on. Dropping through the air with Anya tightly in her arms, Buffy executed a perfect landing, slamming her feet onto the orange metal, bending her knees to absorb most of the impact, and keeping her balance as best as she could. If she didn't stay standing, she had no way of keeping both Anya and herself stayed on.
Fortunately, she had experience riding on top of moving objects. Fighting Glory, they had taken a large Winnebago out of town, only to be stopped by the stupid Knights of Byzantium. Buffy expertly fought the knights off, while riding on top of the RV.
Eventually they passed Sunnydale city limits and Buffy felt the bus ease off. Once they came to a complete stop, Buffy gratefully, and somewhat awkwardly jumped off, as everyone else unloaded.
"Buffy, you made it! You're okay!" Will said, rushing to her best friend. "Oh, no! Anya!" Willow cried.
"She's hurt pretty bad and she's lost a lot of blood. We need to get her to a hospital…" Buffy trailed off as she saw the wound close up. She looked up and saw Willow using her magic to heal Anya, much like she did to Buffy's gunshot wound, only without the dark hair and eyes. "Or not." Buffy said as Anya opened her eyes and sat up.
"Xander?" Anya asked confusedly.
"I'm right here, baby." Xander told her, stepping to Buffy's side and helping Anya to her feet.
"Oh Buffy! You got hurt too. How are you even standing?" Willow asked, noticing the blood surrounding a slice in her shirt.
Buffy looked down in confusion; she had forgotten about her wound. She lifted up her shirt for Willow to see, but was shocked to see that the wound had already healed. There was no mark on her that suggested she got stabbed, except the insane amount of red on her clothes. "That's weird. I usually don't heal that fast."
"Maybe it was the spell. It might have given you a little oomph," Willow suggested, also confused.
"Maybe," Buffy said doubtfully.
"Where are we?" Anya asked, looking around at the barren desert surrounding them for miles. Her eyes fell on the huge crater where the small town of Sunnydale once stood. "What happened?"
Andrew came running up and grabbed Anya tightly around her waist, hugging her and knocking her off balance.
"What the...?" Anya said. "Get off you little monkey!"
Andrew quickly released her and stepped back, an embarrassed look on his face. "Sorry, but there was a vampire and he stabbed you and there was nothing I could do..." Andrew rambled on for a while. "I'm glad you're okay," he finished.
Anya's eyes widened and she turned frantically to Xander. "Oh God! I was going to die, wasn't I? I'm not ready to die yet! There's still so much I want to do! I'm still young and able. And pretty. And there's all that money I haven't gotten yet. And I still want to be with you even though you left me at the alter and broke my heart and should have numerous bodily wounds because of it. I still love you."
"I still love you too, Ahn." Xander said, kissing her head and pulling her close. "I tried to find you when the building caved in, but I couldn't. I thought I lost you and it scared me. And I don't scare easily," he joked.
"So we can try again, maybe?" Anya asked, snuggling into him.
"Yeah, we can try again," Xander confirmed, thinking that this time he wouldn't screw up both their lives. He'd wait until he was ready to get married. He then noticed that all his close friends were standing around them, smiling slightly.
"Thanks Will," he said gratefully to the redhead. "And Buffy."
"Yes. Thank you for saving my life Willow and thank you for risking bodily harm to bring me out of the school Buffy." Anya said eagerly. "I must give you a gift. But there aren't any stores around here and I don't have any money with me…" Anya trailed off, her eyes growing wide and she grabbed Xander by the arm. "My store! It's gone. And all my money!"
While Xander tried to console his ex-ex-girlfriend, the others stepped toward the crater, surveying the damage.
"She's right, you know," Willow said. "We've lost everything."
"We've got the important things," Giles said, looking around at those that survived.
For the first time in a long time Buffy had time to relax. To think. She let her mind wander a little as Willow stepped closer to her.
"What do you want to do, Buffy?" Willow asked, putting her hand on Buffy's arm.
Unexpectedly, Buffy's head exploded with pain and she screamed in agony, clutching her head and dropping to her knees. The feeling at the back of her mind that had been nagging at her since Willow's spell came back at full force, released by the power of Willow's touch.
The Slayer Activation Spell had swept through her, breaking the ridiculously powerful memory spell placed on her years ago, and unlocking her magical powers. At the time, she wasn't mentally ready for the new discovery, her mind was preoccupied with the battle, and Buffy unconsciously locked everything away again. But Willow seeped of raw energy and magic, and her touch sent that power through Buffy, unlocking the gates of her memories and her magic, allowing it all to surge through her, revealing a life she never knew existed.
But it was too much. Her mind and body weren't prepared for the onslaught of memories and magical power that had been locked away and building since the night she became Buffy Summers. The blinding pain raced through her head and body, causing her to succumb to blissful darkness.
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CHAPTER 2: WHO YOU ARE
"James! Sirius! This is not funny!" Buffy said, her blonde pigtails hanging down as she floated above the ten-year old boys laughing up at her. "Get me down!"
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Buffy sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast excitedly. She was unable to contain her enthusiasm and was bouncing up and down.
"What's got you so happy this morning?" her dad asked, eyeing her over his copy of The Daily Prophet.
Two screams could be heard from down the hall and Buffy's grin grew wider. "Buffy!" James yelled from his room, his door muffling the sounds slightly, very slightly.
"Buffy we're sorry! Now could you please let us out?" Sirius' voice added.
A tall, blonde witch standing at the sink turned toward her daughter. "What did you do?" She asked slowly.
"Me?" Buffy questioned innocently with her eyes wide.
"Yes, you," her dad said, not believing her angelic look, knowing she was a devil in disguise.
"I didn't do anything to them, exactly. I just wanted to help them out, because you're always yelling at James to make his bed." Buffy said sweetly. "I guess my good deed backfired slightly and the covers tucked themselves in tightly with them still in the bed."
The screams kept coming and her parents laughed. "You should go let them out, don't you think?" her dad said, picking up a piece of toast from the table.
"No, they should stay like that for a while. It might be good for them; besides, their breakfast isn't ready yet," her mom said with a wink, sitting at the table and making no move to finish up their meal. Buffy grinned happily and sipped her juice.
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"I don't want you to go!" Buffy said, near tears. "What am I supposed to do?"
"I'm sure you can find something to do," James said, hugging his sister goodbye as the scarlet train whistled behind them. "Start thinking of new pranks… er… spells," James corrected quickly after a scowl from his dad.
"Soon you're gonna have to live up to our legacy," Sirius said proudly, ruffling the blonde's hair.
"We'll see you at Christmas!" James yelled, running to the train.
"Don't worry, we'll send you something cool from Hogwarts!" Sirius added.
"Do you want a knight's helmet?" James asked from a window, his black head sticking through the frame. Buffy half-laughed, half-sobbed as she ran after the train, waving goodbye to her brother and his best friend.
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Several brown owls dropped a large brown box in front of Buffy, squashing her breakfast and splashing her juice.
"What in the world is that?" Buffy's mom asked, startled at the arrival of such a non-descript package.
Buffy quickly picked up the box from the table and ran into her room, calling out over her shoulder, "It's something from James!"
On her bed, Buffy broke open the box and lifted the flaps, revealing a shiny metallic helmet: one from the knights at Hogwarts.
She placed it on her nightstand and it soon became a treasured possession.
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"Where's your letter, Buffy?" James teased his younger sister.
"It's not here yet," she replied grumpily from her spot on their porch. She was looking at the sky expectantly, like she had for the past week.
"Didn't we get our letters in July?" Sirius asked James. "And isn't it August now?"
"Yeah, looks like you're not getting a letter. They don't want a runt like you," James teased, referring to Buffy's incredibly small frame.
"I think I see something!" Sirius said, pointing at the sky. "No, wait, it's just a cloud, sorry." Buffy smacked him on his arm, which Sirius promptly grabbed. "Ow! Violent one, isn't she?" he asked James.
James' reply was drowned out by Buffy's excited squeals as the owl carrying her Hogwarts letter came into view.
"Looks like we're gonna get stuck with you at school next year." James said good-naturedly. "We had two years of peace," he added, referring to his younger sister's continual shadowing of him and his friends since they were younger. He didn't mind, not really; he loved his sister, but since Hogwarts he had his own group of friends that grew closer every day.
"Like I want to hang around you and your friends!" Buffy huffed. "I don't want to get into trouble like you guys. You're just a bunch of troublemakers. A bunch of marauders!" Buffy said, opening her letter carefully.
"Marauders? Where'd you learn that word?" Sirius asked, surprised at the younger-girls vocabulary.
Buffy blushed and muttered, "In a book I read."
James looked alarmed and said, "A book? You read? But you hate books!" His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "When did you read?"
"While you two were at Hogwarts." At their outrageous looks she continued, "There wasn't anything else to do!"
"Nothing to do?" Sirius said incredulously. "We told you to be creative and invent some new pranks, and you chose to read? After everything we've done for you."
"All we've taught you," James continued.
"This is how you repay us?" Sirius finished. To James he said, "I think we should take away her helmet."
"NO!" Buffy yelled. "I did plan pranks; I made some really good ones, but I had two years and I was bored and I had no one to test them on!"
"Why didn't you invite your friends over," James asked, worried that she spent too much time with him and Sirius when they were younger. He didn't want her to be a hermit.
"And play with dolls?" Buffy said indignantly. "The second I get caught only thinking about clothes and boys, please kill me. I am not one of the vain airheads like Marie and Melissa. All they do is giggle! And Becky moved away last year," Buffy pushed away thoughts of the friend she met the year James and Sirius started at Hogwarts.
"Well, I guess I can forgive you, as long as it stops by the time school starts. We have a reputation to uphold and it can't get out the my sister likes to read."
"If we're seen even associating with a goody-goody bookworm, we'll be ruined!" Sirius kidded.
"I'm not gonna be around you that much anyway. I'll make new friends with people my own age." Buffy replied. "And don't worry, I'm not a goody- goody." Buffy finished with a slight smirk.
"What did we do to that girl?" Sirius said, slightly awed and slightly scared at the look on her face as she walked away.
"Marauders, huh?" James said with a thoughtful look on his face.
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Buffy sat nervously on the stool, a tattered black hat covering her head and blocking her view of the hundreds of school children staring at her.
"Hmm, this is interesting," a voice spoke in her ear. "There's power, yes, lots of power, and a thirst to prove yourself. You're clever and resourceful... quick on your feet. Cunning. Brave… not afraid of risks... loyal… very noble... concerned about others… hmmm, where to put you? Any house would fit, but you'd be best in."
"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat shouted to the great hall and cheers broke out while Buffy walked happily to the house where her brother and his friends sat.
She chose an empty seat next to a redheaded girl with bright green eyes. "Hi," she said, offering her hand to the young blonde. "I'm Lily."
"I'm Buffy," she said, taking the outstretched hand.
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"Are you going to try out for the quidditch team?" Lily asked her, watching her survey the announcement posted in the common room.
The second year looked up from her thoughts to look at her best friend. "I'd like to be seeker, but James already had that spot. I think I'd make a decent chaser though."
At the mention of the fourth year seeker, a scowl marred the redhead's pretty features. The look did not go unnoticed by the younger blonde, who lifted an eyebrow in question.
"He's just so arrogant!" Lily said. "I don't know how you're related to someone like him!"
"He's not that bad," Buffy defended. "But he's definitely changed since he came to Hogwarts."
"He wasn't bad the first year, but the last two years of winning the Quidditch Cup boosted his ego in a major way. And it doesn't help that he gets away with everything," Lily ranted. It didn't help that she was a good girl; she always knew the answer, turned in her homework early and never did anything questionable.
"I wouldn't say they get away with everything," Buffy said with a slight smile. "The amount of detentions they've already had must have set a school record. I mean, James and Sirius have mirrors they use to talk to each other during their separate detentions." At the look on her friends' face, Buffy decided that she probably didn't need, or want, to know that.
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"Gryffindors Win! 420 to 30, destroying the Slytherins with outstanding flying from the Potters! I guess the talent runs in the family!"
Buffy flew toward the ground and hopped off her broom, meeting her team to join in the celebration.
"And the Quidditch Cup goes to the Gryffindor team for the third year in a row!" Buffy was ecstatic as she hugged her team-mates, all enjoying their victory.
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"James is such an insufferable prat!" Lily exclaimed, dropping her books on the coach by the fire and plopping in the seat next to Buffy.
Buffy listed to her fifth year friend rant and rave about her older brother, but she didn't say a word.
"You should have seen what he did to Severus today! It was awful."
Buffy listened to the story and felt that it was time that she said something to her older brother. She knew that he liked Lily, it was fairly obvious, but he wasn't going to get her by being such a jerk. Besides, she didn't want her brother to be labelled as a bully.
The more she listened to Lily's tirade, the more she felt that, maybe, the feelings were mutual, just hidden deeply in her case.
Yes, she definitely needed to talk to James.
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A knock at the door awakened Buffy. She wondered who could be coming over at 1:00 in the morning and walked down the hall to find out.
Surprised, Buffy watched Sirius enter the house and talk quietly to her parents. Buffy could only hear scraps of the conversation, but understood enough to know that Sirius had run away from home and wanted to stay here for a while.
Buffy's heart broke a little for the black-haired teen, as her parents led him to the guest bedroom. She knew he hated his family, but to totally renounce them seemed odd to her.
Although, she was happy he finally got away from his horrible relatives, all whom had been in Slytherin and seemed very… dark. She had been over to his house a couple of times before, with James, and his parents didn't seem to like her much.
Yes, she was glad he got away from his family, and butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she thought of Sirius living with them the rest of the summer. A place where he can be loved.
By her parents, of course; like a new family. It's not like anything had changed, as he was here all the time anyway, but this was different.
It was.
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Buffy turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She just wrapped a towel around herself when the door opened and a half-asleep Sirius stepped into the bathroom.
Buffy screamed and clutched the towel closer to herself.
Sirius, now fully awake, blushed and hurried out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
After Buffy was dressed, she stepped out and hit her boyfriend on the head as she passed him. "Next time, knock," she advised.
"Next time?" Sirius questioned with a brow raised as he grabbed Buffy by the wrist and pulled her to him, cutting off her reply with a kiss.
Buffy groaned against his mouth as his hand slid up the back of her shirt. She wrapped her hands around his neck and deepened the kiss, only to be interrupted by James' approach and sudden yelp. He was not informed of the relationship formed, and well hidden for a while, between his friend and his younger sister.
"Morning James!" Sirius said cheekily as he pulled away from his best friend's sister, and then ran the other way as James came after him.
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Buffy found out about the monthly transformations of Remus and his three friends, and, after many heated discussions, lots of arguing, several days of silence, and many make-up make-out sessions, Sirius was teaching Buffy how to become an animagus as well.
Secretly, of course.
No doubt James would think it too dangerous for his younger sister, and it would mean trouble for both of them if he ever found out.
Amazingly enough, Buffy caught on much faster than Sirius, James, and Peter had. Perhaps it was because she had an experienced teacher, but she had always been quick on the uptake. In any case, tonight she would find out what animal she could become.
All she had to do was drink a potion.
One that could have serious side effects if it was done incorrectly.
"It's a good think I made this," Buffy said. "Otherwise, I don't think I'd be brave enoguht to risk it," she joked.
"You've always had a knack for potions," Sirius said. "Now drink it."
"Yes, Sir!" Buffy mock saluted, and at Sirius' glare, she chucked the horrid tasting potion down. She gagged at its awful taste and slimy texture, leaning on Sirius while it took affect.
Buffy started to glow slightly and a think layer of smoke formed around her. The smoke drifted away from her, condensing into an animal form.
Buffy and Sirius gasped at the smoke creation.
"I'm a phoenix!" Buffy said with wide eyes.
"Well, you've always had a thing for them," Sirius said in awe. "Now you can become one."
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"I told James I was going to the bathroom. Somehow I don't think he'll approve of me being in here," he explained.
"But it's my birthday," Buffy pouted sweetly.
Sirius couldn't resist and took a step forward, capturing her lips with his own. The kiss began to get more passionate when they pulled apart due to lack of oxygen.
Sirius pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket and handed it to Buffy. "Happy Birthday, Buffy."
Buffy's breath caught in her throat as she opened the box. Inside was a beautiful silver chain with a phoenix pendent hanging from it.
"Since you're obsessed with phoenixes, I thought you might like this. I transfigured it myself," Sirius said proudly. "It took a couple of tries to get it exactly how I wanted it, but I hope you like it."
Buffy was speechless, so she decided to thank him with another kiss. When they broke apart, she said, "I love it. It's absolutely gorgeous." Sirius helped put it around her neck, clasping it in the back while she held her blonde hair to the side.
"I love you," Sirius said, gazing into her twinkling eyes.
"I love you too." Buffy replied, kissing him again.
The phoenix glowed briefly and a voice said, "You think you know, who you are, what's to come? You haven't even begun."
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Buffy Summers opened her eyes and sat up with a gasp, remembering the familiar words.
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CHAPTER 3: WHO AM I?
"Buffy?" a familiar voice asked, breaking through the haze surrounding the blonde.
"Are you okay?" a more masculine voice interjected, concern evident in his tone.
Buffy was sitting on an unfamiliar couch in an unfamiliar place, but it went unnoticed by her, as her eyes seemed to be focused on a far-off place.
"Buffy!" Giles said sharply, snapping his fingers in front of her eyes.
"That only works in the movies, Giles," Xander said. "Or not," he corrected as he saw bright green eyes focus on the fingers and then slid upwards to the face hovering in front of hers.
"Giles?" Buffy asked in a small, confused voice.
"Buffy, are you okay? What happened?" he asked his younger charge.
"I remember," was her answer, her voice wavering slightly.
"You remember what?" Willow asked from her left side.
Buffy's hand went up to her phoenix pendant and she looked down at it amazed. "Who I am."
"Yes. You're Buffy. The Vampire Slayer, or technically A Vampire Slayer now that Willow's spell worked and all the potentials became slayers."
"Anya," Xander interrupted her ongoing rambling. "You're getting off topic."
"No," Buffy said, shaking her head slightly. Her hands were trembling slightly, her voice was unsteady and tears were building in her eyes.
"She's not getting off topic?" Xander asked confused.
"No, I mean, I'm not Buffy. I mean, I am Buffy, but I'm not the Buffy you know," Buffy said.
"Is this supposed to make some sense that I'm missing?" Xander asked after he attempted to understand.
"What do you mean not our Buffy?" asked Willow.
"I think she's just delusional. War sometimes does things to people. I've seen it happen," Anya said. Turning to Buffy, she continued, "You're name is Buffy Summers, you're 25, your birthday is January 19th."
"Actually it's not," Buffy interrupted her softly, mounting more confusion upon the already confused group. "My real name is Elizabeth Potter. Buffy was a nickname my friend gave to me."
Buffy didn't know what to think. Her whole life was a lie; everything she thought she knew was wrong. She had a family, she had friends, she was happy. She had been utterly content, something that she had not yet experienced in her life since then. It was taken away from her with one order.
Buffy didn't know whether to hit Moody or hug him. But ultimately, it was only one person's fault. 'Fudge,' Buffy thought angrily.
She could remember everything like she was fifteen again; she even felt the same emotions that she had related to her memories. Everything was clear and strong in her mind; with fifteen years of suppressed memories forced into her deep subconscious, her mind had to replay events over and over again in order to ease the pressure. It took a lot of power to keep her memories at bay, but now they were out and they were overwhelming her.
It was giving her a headache.
She rubbed her temples slightly, trying to ease the tension. She tried taking a deep breath, focusing on something other than her memories. As she did, she realized she felt different. She felt more powerful; her body was humming.
'The magic,' Buffy thought with awe. She hadn't realized that it felt different to have magic in one's blood, she had always been a witch, and so she never had anything to compare it to until she lived like a muggle. But she missed it; it felt good to have the power running through her again. One of the spells Moody had put on her had locked her magic away, trapped like her memories in a remote corner of her mind, so that she wouldn't draw any attention to herself, whether by doing accidental magic or not. She was to live like a complete muggle, totally unaware of the magical life. 'Guess that plan backfired,' she thought bitterly.
She needed to take some time and get her thoughts together. She needed to adjust and process everything that happened. One minute she defeated The First Evil, sinking a whole city, and the next she discovered that she had a whole other life.
One thought kept running bitterly through her mind, 'The Powers That Be have been screwing with my life even before I was called. No happiness for Buffy. It' s much more fun to watch her suffer.' The more she thought about it, the more she started to think that maybe this was their way of rewarding her. She hadn't been happy and she had no family left, but now was a chance to reclaim her lost family, her lost friends, her lost life.
Meanwhile, her friends were trying, and failing, to make sense of what she had said.
"Huh?" Xander asked eloquently.
"I'm a witch," Buffy said, still absorbed in her thoughts and not paying much attention to what she said, or her friends' reactions.
"Buffy, are you sure you're okay?" Willow asked. "You didn't hit your head did you?" She started looking over Buffy's head, checking for visible damage.
"Stop that," Buffy protested, lightly swatting the redhead's hands away. "I'm fine."
"Then what's with the whole, I'm not Buffy, but I am Buffy, but you don't know me, but I know you, stuff?" Xander questioned.
"I was kidnapped on my 15th birthday, which is in August, not January,"
"Oh, we missed your birthday. Happy birthday!" Willow automatically said, giving her friend a hug before realizing that she still had no idea what was going on. "Continue."
"Anyway, a wizard saved me from another wizard and then brought me to America instead of killing me like this other wizard ordered."
"Again, I say, HUH?"
Buffy then explained to them what little she knew about the night she was taken. The more she thought, the more she remembered. She recalled going to L.A. because, as Moody had muttered to himself, "It was the farthest place away he had ever visited."
He was taking her to an adoption agency when a couple walked by them. Moody overheard the woman saying, "I just want a daughter, Hank."
"I'm sure there's another agency we can check out," the man said tiredly.
Moody saw this as his chance, and with a few well-placed spells, Elizabeth Potter became Buffy Summers, with no one any wiser. He didn't realize that the last adoption agency had rejected the couple as candidates because their marriage was "unstable."
When Buffy finished her tale, she looked at her friends to see their reactions.
"Wow," Willow said with wide eyes. "That..."
"Sucks," Anya interrupted. "If I were still a vengeance demon, I'd grant you a wish. Maybe two."
"Are you okay?" Giles asked.
"Yeah, it's just another day in the life of Buffy - one more person who has played with my memory. I really wish they'd stop. Do you think it can cause brain damage?" Buffy lied easily. In truth, she wasn't okay. It was hard and confusing, but in time she'd be okay. She had to be. Her fake memories were fading, just like they did with Dawn, the real memories charging to the front. She didn't want them to be gone because it had felt real for so long. She knew they weren't real, but she didn't want to think her mom, Joyce, loved her only because of a spell. Even if she wasn't blood, she was still her mom for several years. Buffy loved her and didn't want to think it was a lie.
"Who was kidnapping you in the first place?" Willow asked the question that had been nagging on everyone's mind. "And why?"
"Death Eaters attacked my house, so it must have been Voldemort who wanted me. For what reason, I have no idea."
"Voldemort? That name sounds vaguely familiar." Giles mused.
"I remember Voldemort's reign. It ended some years ago, I can't remember how. Anyway, I used to get so many calls from women who wanted revenge on Voldemort. But I wouldn't go near him - he would have found a way to kill me, or make me wish I was dead," Anya said, shuddering at the memories.
"That's right!" Giles exclaimed. "Two slayers were sent up against him, separately of course, as the Watcher's Council believed him to be a threat to both worlds. After the two slayers died, with no hope of defeating him, they decided that the wizarding world created the monster, therefore they had to find a way to defeat him."
"Kinda like, it sucks for you, we're outta here?" Xander asked. Giles just glared.
"You knew about the wizarding world?" Buffy asked surprised.
"Just in mentioning; it's all a bit vague. I believe the wizarding world kept to itself as much as it could, and the Watcher's Council had a hand in everything, but they weren't big on details."
"But why would the Minister want you dead if they stopped you from being kidnapped?" Willow asked, still trying to solve the mystery.
"I have no idea, but I can't wait to show up at his door, alive and very much kicking."
There was silence in the room while they each mused over the reasons why. They didn't have much to go on, as Buffy herself had no clue.
"Perhaps they knew you were a potential, and Voldemort wanted a powerful ally. Perhaps the Minister was afraid of that happening," Giles suggested.
"I guess that could be it," Buffy said, shrugging her shoulders. "But not even the Watcher's Council knew I was a potential. I mean, they didn't find me until after I was called."
"Yes, well, this Voldemort fellow sounds quite powerful. It's possible that he had access to some magics that pointed you out - namely the dark arts."
"Speaking of magic," Xander said, "what's this wizarding world like? And why does it have a world to itself?"
Buffy smiled as she thought back on her old home. "The wizarding community is much smaller than the muggle world and they are very secretive."
"Say what?"
"Oh, sorry. Muggles are non-magic people," Buffy explained. "Wizards and witches, like me, use wands. Wiccas, like Willow, use the power from the earth." Buffy continued on for a while, explaining the world of magic to her friends. She explained the school, the moving pictures, the methods of travel, the game of quidditch, everything she could remember.
"Can I see your wand?" Xander asked excitedly, bouncing slightly on his toes.
Buffy frowned as she thought about her valuable possession. "I don't have it, obviously. I don't know where... I dropped it," she remembered suddenly. "At my house. I got stunned and I didn't have it with me when I woke up. If I did, I think I would've done something to help myself."
"So we can't see any magic?" he pouted.
"Hey!" Willow exclaimed indignantly. "I can show you magic. I just did magic! I'm a magic makin' mama! I can show you so much magic you'd be begging me to stop!" At everyone's incredulous looks, Willow added much softer, "Not that I would."
"Theoretically, I believe it is possible for a wand witch to do wandless magic. You have the power within you, you just need to learn how to harness that power and control it. With practice you could easily perform just as well as Willow. And it would undoubtedly prove useful sometime." Giles said.
"How about it, Will?" Buffy asked, turning to the redhead. "Do you want to teach me?"
Willow became very excited, reminding Buffy of her high school self who had found the answer to a really challenging problem, or had drunk coffee.
"Of course! I would love to. It'll be fun, but not too much fun, because it's a serious matter and we can't be fooling around. Something will happen and you'll lose control and..."
"Yes, ma'am!" Buffy said jokingly. Willow continued to babble, ignoring Buffy's interruption.
"When can we start? Can we start now?"
"Willow," Giles said, calming the excited Wicca. "I think we may need to wait a while before the first lesson."
"Why?" Willow asked, her expression falling. Giles looked pointedly at Willow, indicating the blonde on the couch slightly. He had on his 'We have more important matters to discuss at the moment' look. "Oh. Right," she said softly.
"What are you going to do, Buffy? About your memories and everything?" Willow questioned her best friend with concern.
"I don't know," Buffy answered. "I mean, I want to go find my family and see my friends."
"But you're scared," Willow said, and her guess was confirmed with a small nod.
"It's just… it's been so long. What are they like? Are they married?" Buffy's stomach clenched painfully at the thought of Sirius married. Although it had been so long, she still wouldn't forget him. They say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder,' and she's been absent for a long time. She still carried her pendant around wherever she went, even though she had no idea where she got it until a couple of minutes ago. "Do they have kids? They're completely different people; I still know them as 16 year olds in school. What if..." Buffy's voice trailed off.
"What if what?" Xander asked.
"What if they've forgotten all about me?" Buffy voiced her fear.
"No one could forget the Buffster. No one would want to."
Buffy smiled slightly at Xander's comment. Of course they would be happy to see her. They had fought with their lives to keep her from being taken.
"I hate to interrupt this touching moment, but where are they?" Anya asked. "I mean, it's been over a decade. People move. Do you have any idea where they live?"
"They won't be too hard to find," Buffy said dismissively. "There are places that we could go that are only for wizards, and if someone doesn't know, I can always owl them."
The group nodded, having been previously informed about owl post.
"So, where exactly are you from Buffy? We've got nowhere to go, and nothing to do except find your family." Xander said. "I've never been to New York. Please say you're from New York. I've heard great things about it!"
"Actually, I'm from..." Buffy trailed off, her eyes growing wide with the realization.
"From." Xander prompted, moving his hands apart.
"Oh bloody hell, I'm English!" Buffy exclaimed, her true English roots showing through during a time of great distress. When Buffy realized what she said, she clamped her hand over her mouth.
There was a moment of silence and then Xander started laughing, pointing at her with one hand and leaning forward slightly. Willow grew excited at the prospect of going to England, and Giles said, "Oh dear Lord," before removing his glasses and polishing them.
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CHAPTER 4: LONDON
Once the surprise of Buffy's roots wore of, details were once again discussed, and then Buffy decided that they had talked enough. The shock was wearing off and she was getting restless.
She wanted to see her family.
Right then.
Unfortunately, the best she could do was have Giles call the airport and secure the soonest flight for five passengers. Buffy had never learned to apperate and didn't want to try after over ten years without practicing magic; she had no desire to become splinched.
So, after many planes, a few transfers, various airports, countless disgusting airplane meals, and several days later, the group was finally in London.
Willow had desperately wanted to see the sights, but understood that she was here for her friend. There would be time later to look around, so she contained her excitement, with much difficulty, and followed Buffy.
At the moment, she was following Buffy down the bustling streets of London, with stores lined up on either side.
"So where are we going again?" Xander asked.
"It's a pub called the Leaky Cauldron."
"You said pub," Xander chuckled.
"Buffy, do you really think it is appropriate to drink now? It's not even noon yet," Giles said, disappointed in her. "Besides, you've been drinking three times before and everyone knows how those turned out."
Buffy winced as she remembered the time when she'd gotten drunk at a college party and almost got sacrificed to a snake god, then when she'd gotten drunk over Parker and was turned into a cavewoman, and then when she got drunk with Spike, who played poker for kittens, and was sick in the bathroom that night.
Buffy smiled a bit and decided to relax his fears. "It's a wizard pub," Xander chuckled again, "and we're not drinking." Xander stopped chuckling; Willow noticed and swatted him on his arm. "Behind it is the entrance to Diagon Alley, a place that's like a wizard mall," Buffy told them. "If we're going to go into the wizarding world, we need to fit in. Wizards tend to dislike muggles, and we're dressed like them. Plus, I need to get a wand." Buffy said all this fairly quietly, understanding that there were muggles all around.
"They dress differently?" Willow asked, dodging around a person carrying five shopping bags.
"Oh, yeah," Buffy answered, grimacing as she thought of the robes she'd have to wear again. She preferred her muggle clothes, especially for slaying: there was more freedom to move, they were more comfortable, and it was much easier to show off the essentials. 'If Sirius could see me now…' Buffy thought suddenly.
"They have the worst fashion sense." Realizing what she'd said, Buffy chuckled softly to herself, but Anya overheard.
"There is nothing funny about the stupid robes we'll have to wear. I'll bet they're all hot and itchy," Anya complained.
"I was just remembering something," Buffy explained. "I once told James to kill me if I ever became one of those vain girls, obsessed with clothes, and here I am, brooding about them." Buffy lapsed into silence, lost in her thoughts.
"We'll see him soon, Buffy," comforted Willow, who correctly interpreted her friend's silence.
"I know, it's just…" Buffy lifted her head to look at Willow, but her eye noticed that they were passing the pub. "Oh, wait, we're here."
"I don't see it," Xander said.
"You're not supposed to. It's magic, remember? Just imagine the Leaky Cauldron between that book store and that record store," Buffy instructed.
"Whoa!" Xander exclaimed, jumping back slightly. "Now that was cool," he said with a goofy grin, referring to the way the building seemed to squeeze in between the two stores.
Buffy started to walk forward, but Giles stopped her. "You were essentially kidnapped eleven years ago; to suddenly appear as if nothing has happened would shock a lot of people. It would probably be best if you were the one to let James know of your return, not a stranger that is simply circulating a rumour."
"So, I become secret-identity gal again? Okay, not a problem," Buffy said.
"I believe that a more drastic change will be needed, as you… um… tend to stand out," Giles said carefully, unsure of her reaction. At Buffy's blank stare, he continued, "First, you need to sound English. Americans are too noticeable."
"Right," Buffy said. "Get back my English accent." She closed her eyes and thought back to how she had sounded for fifteen years. Living in America for over ten years, and believing herself to be American, had made her lose her accent. Back in England, with everyone speaking with an accent, she would be able to pick it up fairly quickly.
"How's this?" Buffy asked, attempting, and succeeding, at sounding English. It came back to her much easier than she thought it would. It was a little flawed, but soon it would be second nature to her. "Is this okay? Do I sound alright?" Buffy asked again, getting worried at their silence.
"That is just wrong on so many levels," Xander said with wide eyes.
"Indeed," Giles agreed, removing his glasses to clean them. He never thought he'd ever see, or rather hear, Buffy - the typical Californian - become a proper English woman. It was quite disturbing. "Just make sure you talk properly. Leave out any American slang."
"I'll try, but I can't promise you anything. I've been an American for so long, it's hard to remember how to speak English English."
"Yes, well…" Giles started, but then decided not to bother. "Next, you need to change your appearance some."
"You could become a brunette!" Anya suggested with a grin. The comment didn't surprise anyone, as Anya was known for constantly changing her hair colour.
"Actually, that's not a bad idea," Willow said. "Here." She spread her hands and before Buffy could say anything, her hair was a deep brown.
"Wow!" Xander was amazed at the sudden change. "You look…"
"Evil," Anya interrupted. "Change it back."
At Buffy's noise of protest that she could look evil, Xander continued, "What I was going to say, was that you remind me of Cordelia."
Buffy's eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped slightly.
"And the difference is…?" Willow asked, changing the hair back to blonde.
"Can we leave my hair alone? There are blondes all over the place," Buffy replied grumpily, grabbing her hair and inspecting it, making sure it was okay.
"You're absolutely right," Giles said. "Your eyes are your most noticeable feature," Buffy straightened proudly, "They'll have to be blue."
"Why not brown?" Xander asked, oblivious to the deflating Buffy and the magic Willow was performing.
"Blonde women with brown eyes are uncommon. And now your name," Giles said, looking over Buffy.
"Not Joan!" Willow, Xander, and Anya all exclaimed at once.
Giles blinked at the force of the statement, and was confused as well.
"What is wrong with Joan?" Buffy asked exasperatedly, placing her hands on her hips.
"It's just…"
"Well…"
"I mean…"
"I wasn't going to be Joan anyway," Buffy said, satisfied with her friends' lack of response. "I've already been Joan. Her ego was too big. I didn't like her."
At this, her friends raised their eyebrows. "Ah, Buff…" Xander started to point out, but was interrupted by Buffy's next sentence.
"I want to be Sarah. Sarah Fox." There was a pause, then...
"Foxy lady. I approve," Xander said, forgetting about his previous comment.
"Thanks," Buffy said dryly, using her accent once again. "Not that I really needed your approval."
"I can't believe you're English," Xander said for the billionth time.
"Yes, well, unfortunate and unexplainable things happen in life," Giles said.
"Hey!" Buffy cried, offended.
"Shouldn't we be going?" Willow asked in an attempt to break up a likely argument. It worked, as everyone grew somber, thinking about the task ahead.
"We should," Buffy said at last, striding towards the pub door. Opening it, the group stepped inside a dark and shabby looking place. The low chatter stopped immediately at their entrance and all eyes turned on them.
"Why do I feel like we're in a zoo?" Xander asked quietly.
"We might as well be," Buffy replied. "To them, we're just muggles."
"May I help you?" asked an older looking man behind the bar.
"Tom?" Buffy asked without thinking.
The bartender's eyes narrowed slightly, and he looked upon her with suspicion. "Yes?"
Thinking quickly, Buffy said, "I've heard so much about you and your place. My friend used to come here and since I'm back in town, he insisted I stop on by. I'm Sarah Fox. These are my friends. We've been out amongst the muggles; can't let them know about us, can we?" Buffy asked, referring to their weird dress. When she uttered the word muggles, everyone relaxed and began talking once again. The atmosphere warmed up quite a bit.
"Well, it's a lovely place you have here. I need to stop at Gringotts quickly; otherwise I'd stay for a drink. It was nice to meet you." Buffy quickly ushered everyone away before anyone could ask questions.
"What's Gringotts?" Willow asked once they had exited the bar and entered into a courtyard with not exit.
"And where are we?" Xander added, looking around at the only items scattering the place: a trashcan and a few weeds.
"Gringotts is a bank, and we're at the entrance to Diagon Alley," Buffy said distractedly. "Unfortunately I don't have my wand. Willow, do you think you can open this door?"
"What door?" Willow looked at Buffy as if she was crazy; a brick wall surrounded them.
"It's hidden. Three up, two across from the trashcan. I think. Just give the brick a little push with your magic; a tap of some sort." Buffy pointed out the bricks and encouraged Willow, who did as she was directed.
To everyone but Buffy's surprise, the brick began to jiggle and a hole appeared at its centre. With each passing second, the hole grew bigger and bigger until a massive archway took the place of the once solid brick wall.
"Awesome," Xander breathed, breaking the silence.
"Come on, it gets better inside." Buffy led them down the cobbled street with shops on both sides. There was a cauldron shop, and Apothecary, an Owl Emporium, a bookstore, a quidditch shop, etc. Standing out amongst the smaller shops was a massive white building.
"That's Gringotts," Buffy said, pointing to the huge structure. "And those are the goblins that run it," she added when she saw Willow give a little start. "Don't mess with them - they're nasty little creatures."
Because Buffy didn't have a vault, she decided to open an account. She was sure it would come in handy later. The goblin, a mean looking one named Griphook, gave her a key, emphasizing that she shouldn't lose it.
Then, she changed some of her American money into Wizarding money, much to the surprise of the goblin. She didn't have any British pounds yet; she hadn't found the need for them as it would have been two exchanges. This way she saved time and money. Amazingly enough, the US dollar had a better exchange rate.
Buffy didn't have to worry about money anymore because the insurance company paid her nicely after all her belongings were in the hole that used to be Sunnydale.
While she was busy with the transactions, her friends stood mesmerized by the whole place. Xander was flat out staring at the grumpy goblins while Willow tried to look anywhere but them. Anya, on the other hand, was much more fascinated with the large jewels and precious gems that were being measured along various countertops.
"Look at that Ruby…." She moaned, grasping Xander's arm. "So much money everywhere… I think I'm going to go into banking. Retail is over."
Giles was more focused on the transaction Buffy was dealing with than anything else. Although he did keep sneaking glances at the goblins when he thought no one was looking.
Once everything was in order, Buffy led her friends to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. "When in Rome…" Buffy said gloomily.
"I thought Romans wore togas," Xander said.
"No, it's a saying. 'When in Rome, do as the Romans,'" Willow explained.
"So, no they don't wear togas?" Xander asked, ignoring the latter part of her sentence.
"Yes they do, I mean, did, wear togas," Willow said.
"I thought we were getting robes," Anya interjected. "Not togas."
"We are," Buffy said, confused as to where this was going.
"And since when are we in Rome?" Anya asked. "This is England."
"Land of the Gileses and tweed." Xander said. "And now Buffy," he added snickering.
"What?" Giles, who was completely baffled, asked.
"When you're in Rome, you wear togas, and if we're in Rome, like Buffy said, but we're clearly not, than why are we buying robes?"
"It's a saying!" Willow yelled frustrated. "We're not actually in Rome and people in Rome don't even dress in togas anymore!"
"We could go into the store and get the robes so that people out here would stop looking at us," Buffy said, ending the confusion.
They each got fitted with a few robes, because they didn't know exactly how long they would be there. Giles and Xander stuck with basic black, not daring to chance much else.
The girls, however, chose a black one and two coloured ones, each suiting their own tastes. Buffy had been forced into choosing a blue one, to bring out her eyes, and a green one, to bring out her real eye colour when she changed them back.
When Buffy pulled out the money to pay for everything, Anya's eyes went wide. "Is that gold?" she asked, scooting towards Buffy.
"Yes," Buffy said slowly.
"Real gold?" Anya asked, reaching her hand out towards the money before Buffy quickly snatched her hand away and handed it to Madam Malkin.
"I'm sorry," Buffy apologized to the storekeeper. "My friend is crazy. She can't control herself sometimes; it's a sad disease."
"Hey!" Anya said, disappointed when the gold disappeared and then offended with Buffy's words.
"Look, there she goes again. Thank you so much!" Buffy said, dragging her friends out the doors.
Xander took his cue to calm Anya down while they headed to the one store Buffy desperately wanted to go.
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Olivanders.
Buffy pushed open the door and stepped into the small, dark, and dusty room. A bell jingled, announcing their arrival.
There wasn't much room, but all five of them squeezed together. Giles sat on the single chair, leaving more room for those standing.
"It reminds me of the library," Willow whispered quietly, gazing at the shelves full of long rectangular boxes.
The back of Buffy's neck tingled, just like it had when she'd first come here. There was something about the magic in this place…
She felt someone in the shadows near her right and she turned, looking into the darkness.
"Good afternoon," an old man greeted softly, emerging from the shadows that Buffy was staring at.
The other four occupants of the room jumped at the sudden arrival of the man.
He stepped toward Buffy, his pale eyes searching her blue ones, searching her soul. What he was looking for, no one knew, but he always seemed to find it.
He gave a startled gasp and took half a step back. "It cannot be," he exclaimed. "But it is you. It must be you. Elizabeth Potter."
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CHAPTER 5: SPEECHLESS
Buffy was speechless after Olivander's announcement. She didn't expect anyone to recognize her that quickly. She had been gone for eleven years and didn't think she looked that much like her fifteen-year-old self.
"How did you...?" Buffy finally sputtered out, the friends beside her equally astonished.
"Know?" Ollivander finished. "My dear girl, you cannot hide behind a blue colour. The eyes are the windows to the soul. It is how I read people to find the wand best for them. Of course it doesn't always work well, as I'm sure you remember," he said, referring to when Buffy had waved almost every wand in the store before finding the right one.
"But how can it be you?" he asked again, looking her over just to be sure.
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.
Olivander paused a moment, considering, then said bluntly, "You're dead."
Buffy blinked, uncertain if she had heard correctly, but afraid that she had. "I'm sorry?"
"You are supposed to be dead. There was a body and a funeral sixteen years ago."
"I don't... I don't understand," Buffy said, lost and confused. Everything seemed to be unravelling. Her return to the wizarding world wasn't supposed to turn out like this.
"The night the Death Eaters attacked your house, you were taken and killed. Alastor Moody brought your body back. You were dead," Olivander explained, confused by her confusion.
"No," Buffy said, sure of at least one thing. "Moody saved me; he brought me to America. He was supposed to..." Buffy's eyes widened with realization as she trailed off. "Moody was supposed to kill me. Obviously he'd have to fake my death, otherwise I'd be found. I can't believe it!"
"Wait, I'm sorry," Giles interrupted, catching what the others had not. "Did you say sixteen years ago?"
"Yes, which is very curious. You don't look over twenty-five."
"I'm twenty-six," Buffy said slowly. "Why would I be dead for sixteen years if I'm only twenty-six? It's not possible."
"What year is it again?" Giles asked, prepared to do calculations. He had lost track of time since the battle with The First. So many things had happened that the date seemed unimportant.
"1993," Willow supplied. Olivander started at her. "What?"
"It's 1999."
Now it was the Scooby Gang's turn to stare.
"It's the thirteenth of September, 1999," Olivander reiterated.
Xander started laughing. "That was a good one. For a second I actually believed you. 'It's 1999,'" Xander said in a obviously fake British accent. "Nice trick to play on the stupid Americans."
"Xander," Willow chided quietly. "We didn't even say anything before. How would he know we're Americans?"
"But it's not 1999. How could we have lost five years of our lives?"
Olivander quickly disappeared and reappeared without any noise. He was carrying with him a newspaper dated the thirteenth of September 1999.
"The First couldn't do that, could he?" Buffy asked doubtfully.
"I suppose it's possible, but it doesn't make much sense," Giles said thoughtfully. "What does It have to gain?"
"How about making my life more miserable than it already is? It does seem to have a big problem with me," Buffy said.
"Yes, but I doubt that it could do something that drastic; all of us are affected." No one really questioned Olivander's statement. Strange things had happened to them before and though he seemed creepy, they had no reason not to trust him.
Trapped in his chair with bodies taking up every bit of space in the small room, Giles could only take off his glasses and massage his eyes.
"We must be missing something," Willow said, fidgeting.
"Yeah, five years of our lives," Xander said, leaning against the door.
"But we didn't actually lose it," Buffy said. "I mean," Buffy continued quickly, sending a quick glare at Xander before he could retort, "It's not like we woke up one morning and were five years older. We still look like we think we should."
"So somehow time must have stood still, causing the rest of the world to go faster," Willow said, excited that she might have solved part of the mystery.
"That's a possibility," Giles admitted, chewing lightly on the end of his glasses.
"Or, something else might have happened," Buffy said.
"You sure have a lot of theories," Xander said, fake-suspiciously. "You didn't hocus pocus us did you?"
Buffy looked at him innocently and held up her hands at his accusing finger. "I'm clean."
Everyone turned, as much as they could in the cramped space, to look at Willow, who opened her eyes wide in surprise.
"I didn't do it!" she cried indignantly, twisting her hands in front of her. "I think," she added meekly.
"No, I don't think one person could be strong enough to stop time for five years," Giles said.
"That's what I was thinking. But what if..." Buffy trailed off to find a better way to approach the topic. "In different dimensions, time travels at different rates. In some demon dimensions, one day on Earth is a hundred years down there." Buffy was thinking back on the time she had been in a demon dimension, courtesy of Ken, a demon luring runaways and using them as a source of labour. And she also thought of Angel, and when his three months away from her had been several hundred years down in hell.
Thinking about angel made Buffy pause. Just days ago, she had told Angel that she was cookie dough, waiting to finish baking. She had pretty much told him that she would come back to him.
But that was before she found out who she really was. Some people say that the past shapes who one shall become. She was a different person that she used to be. She had different memories that shaped who she was and now she knew the truth. There wasn't a huge change between her old self and her newer self, but there was a difference. She had been though a lot, and her experiences had changed her. She wasn't the same girl she once thought she was.
She had been so wrapped up in her new memories that she didn't even tell him how the battle went. For all he knew, she was dead in the middle of the crater, assuming someone else didn't tell him. She had hopped on the first plane out of town, without a thought to him.
She did love Angel, there was no doubt about it. Some part of her would always love him, but a larger part of her heart belonged to someone else.
Even after all these years, all the experiences she had, both good and bad, just thinking about Sirius made her heart beat faster. Yes, she had just gotten her memories, and old feelings, back and they seemed so strong and recent, but they were fading a little. Buffy kept replaying everything in her mind, trying to hold on to as much as she could.
Logically, she knew that they were both different people now. They were older, and as far as she knew, he was probably married with kids. However, her heart wouldn't listen to her head.
Every time she thought about him, a pleasant tingle ran up her spine and made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. Her stomach would flutter and her heart would beat a little faster.
She had hope that there was a chance for them to get back together. If for nothing else than just to get to know each other again. Heck, maybe she'd end up hating him.
Buffy snorted softly at the possibility that she could ever hate Sirius. It was a ludicrous thought.
"Let's say time stood still for us," Anya began, pulling Buffy out of her thoughts. "We wouldn't ever be able to figure out how or when it happened, because nothing would have actually happened to us. One second we might have been talking, then we'd be frozen for five years and then we'd pick right back where we left off, never noticing the change."
"No, I don't suppose we would," Giles said with a sigh, replacing his glasses and running a hand tiredly through his hair. "However, I fully intend to follow up on this matter. I'd like to know how, and why, we have gotten five years behind the rest of the world."
"Maybe it's the wizarding world tha''s ahead, not us that are behind," Willow suggested.
"Nope," Xander said, indicating a battered ticket stub he pulled from his jeans' pocket. "The airplane ticket says it's 1999."
"In any case, we'll look into the matter later. W''ve kept this man waiting long enough," Giles said, referring to the forgotten shopkeeper.
"You aren't a bother," Olivander said, dismissing the idea. "I don't have anywhere to be, and I find your predicament quite curious." Ollivander turned to look at Buffy. "I believe I have something of yours, my dear." He turned around and slinked toward the far corners of the shop, out of her sight.
He came back soon after, just as quietly as he had left, brushing off the top of a very dusty box' It was a thin, narrow, brown box that looked a little worn. Cobwebs were stuck to the sides.
"Here you go," Olivander said, opening the lid and offering her the box.
Buffy stood transfixed. Her fingers slowly rose up, tracing the rim of the box, not daring to touch the narrow piece of wood inside.
"How did you get my wand?" Buffy finally asked in a soft, awestruck voice.
"It was very curious. After your funeral, Albus Dumbledore came to me with your wand. He told me to keep it, as another customer might buy it. I believe he thought a relative of yours might take to it eventually. He saw no need to destroy such a powerful wand."
Buffy's fingers gently reached forward, stroking the smooth surface.
"Go ahead," Ollivander prodded with a knowing smile on his face.
Buffy glanced up briefly, the first time since he came back with the box, and met his eyes. Her fingers then curled around the wand, lifting it out of its package. A rush of warmth flooded through her and Buffy closed her eyes at the illustrious feeling. She waved her hand and a streak of red sparks shot out of the tip.
Buffy sighed happily at the well-known weight in her hand. "It's good to be back."
"It's a pleasure to have you back Miss Potter," Ollivander said, clasping her hand.
"So that's your wand?" Xander asked, slightly disappointed. "I was thinking of something a little, I dunno, cooler."
"Make no mistake. This is a very powerful wand. It's not to be taken lightly. Willow and a phoenix tail feather, a high-quality combination."
"Willow's a part of the wand?" Anya asked, confusion marring her features.
"No, Willow is the wood it is made out of," Buffy clarified. She turned to her best friend, a redhead like Lily, and said, "I guess it was meant to be!"
A smile rose on Willow lips, lighting her whole face up. "Yep! And don't ever doubt it!"
"Never," Buffy said seriously, shaking her head. She turned to Olivander and thanked him profusely. He wouldn't accept any money, as she had already paid for it once.
As they were leaving the dusty shop, stepping outside onto the brightly lit road, Buffy thought of one more thing she had to ask of the old man.
"Could you not tell anyone I'm back? Not even Dumbledore. It's kind of a surprise," Buffy said.
Olivander nodded in understanding. It would be quite a shock when the wizarding world found out about her return. She would let it be known when she was ready. "Of course," he said. "Your secret is safe with me."
Buffy smiled and stepped out of the shop one last time. She paused momentarily, letting her eyes adjust to the drastic lighting difference.
"Did you ask him where you could find James?" Willow asked.
"No, he wouldn't know. He's not a big gossiper. I don't know if he's ever even come out of his shop."
"So, where to next?" Xander asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"I want to get an owl," Buffy said. "It'll make communication easier later." Buffy led the group down the cobbled path, glancing through the windows of all the different shops they passed on the way to the Owl Emporium.
Buffy should have known better. She should have prepared them, warned them, done something. Unfortunately, she had forgotten. It had been a while since she had been to Diagon Alley, and she didn't even think about Flourish and Blotts.
When they passed the bookstore, Willow became an excited, chattering mess. She could barely form a coherent word, let alone a whole sentence. Giles seemed transfixed, slowly walking towards the shop, as if pulled by an invisible line.
"Why don't you go browse in the bookstore and I'll meet you back here once I've finished buying my owl," Buffy said, amused at their behavior.
Willow nodded and went off after Giles. Through the window they could see stacks of books lining every wall, from floor to ceiling. This was a wizarding bookstore, full of texts that would not be readily available elsewhere. Giles could find some books to replace those he lost when Sunnydale caved in and Willow could find almost anything she wanted. They'd be happy to stay there forever.
Buffy went off with Xander and Anya, who weren't big book people. They were mostly quiet on the walk to the Emporium, just absorbing the new sensations, people and things, of the world around them.
People were bustling around, many carrying bags full of purchases from the variety of stores lining the road. A mother was sitting with her daughter eating ice cream. Two middle-aged witches were walking down the street, chatting about the days' events. A man with long blonde hair, who looked vaguely familiar to Buffy, walked out of the Apothecary, carrying a full bag of supplies.
Soon, the trio reached Eeylops Owl Emporium. Buffy pushed open the door to the shop, and was once again momentarily disoriented while her eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness.
In that moment, something fluttered by her and rested on her shoulder, startling her. When she regained her sight, her eyes widened in surprise.