The Phoenix Child by Malli

by Dur'id the Druid

A reposting of the story by Malli. More chapters posted as I edit them for . See my Author Bio for more details. COMPLEATE

3. Chapters 6 to 10

CHAPTER 6: BIRDS AND BOOKS

"That is the strangest looking owl I've ever seen," Xander exclaimed, checking out the bird that had landed on Buffy's shoulder. He dropped the bag of robes by his side, surprised at the sudden presence of such a large bird.

"It's not an owl, Xander," Anya said. "It's a phoenix."

Buffy was still staring up at the large firebird in shock. But a young man hustling over to them captured her attention.

"I'm so sorry," he said, gesturing to the bird. "She just showed up here a couple of days ago and won't leave." The worker tried to coax the phoenix off of Buffy's shoulder, but to no avail. The bird apparently liked it there.

"I've always like phoenixes," Buffy said softly. She brought her hand up gently to the red bird, and the bird nuzzled it lightly.

"Well..." the man said, thunderstruck. "Ever since she showed up one day, she's been off by her lonesome. Usually doesn't come near anyone. Of course she did give a couple of my customers a hard time."

"Does she have a name?" Buffy asked, still petting the bird.

"Not that I know of," he offered. Taking in the pair, he added, "It seems to me that she's been waiting for you."

"What?" Buffy asked, taking her attention off the bird and onto the tall, brown haired man in front of her. He wasn't bad looking, and his brown eyes were full of warmth, but Buffy didn't feel the slightest inclination to get to know him. Once upon a time, she might have jumped at the chance to flirt with such a cute guy, but things had changed.

"Phoenixes are very smart, and they don't trust just anyone." The man paused, letting Buffy absorb the information. "Since she seems to like you so much, you should take her."

"What?" Buffy asked again, a little more startled than before. "I couldn't possibly... I wouldn't even know what to do with her, or how to care for her."

"I think you're perfect," the man said. "There's not much to it, I'm sure. Phoenixes are very self-reliant. How do you think they live so long?"

"Every time they die, their body bursts into flames and they are reborn in the ashes," Anya said. "So if you kill it, you can always try again."

"I can see why she likes you," Xander joked.

"Yes, well," the man said awkwardly, not understanding his comment.

"I don't know," Buffy said uncomfortably. This was so sudden. She had no idea where she was headed or where she would end up. There was no telling what would happen, and what was she supposed to do with a phoenix until then?

"I don't think you have much of a choice," the man said. "Once they pick someone, they are loyal to them until their death. They are excellent judges of character."

Buffy looked at the bird. She had always wanted a phoenix...

Seeing her indecision, the man added, "Plus you'd be doing me a huge favour. I run an Owl Emporium, not a bird store. The owls are a little flustered by her presence."

For the first time since she entered, Buffy noticed the large amount of owls cluttering the shop. There were big ones and small ones, barn owls to great horned owls. Some were in cages; others were on perches strategically placed around the store. Small, glittery eyes stared back at her from the dimly lit store, and the rustling of feathers and soft hoots were so noticeable, Buffy couldn't believe she didn't hear it before.

"I actually came here for an owl," Buffy said, remembering her mission.

"Please," the worker all but begged. "I'm sure she wants to go with you. She'd probably go with you whether you want her to or not, but it'll be easier if you just said yes." The phoenix trilled a melodious note, seemingly in agreement with the man.

A warmth spread through Buffy, something she had not felt in the longest time rose up in her chest. Hope. And love. That made up her mind.

"Okay," Buffy said finally. "But I still want an owl, for you guys," she finished, turning her gaze to Anya and Xander.

"Thank you," the man said. "You're a lifesaver."

"You have no idea," Xander said, smiling at the man and clasping Buffy on her free shoulder.

The man looked a little confused, but then shook it off, believing it to be some American thing. "What kind of owl were you looking for?" he asked more calmly. "Anything in particular?"

"Not really," Buffy admitted. "I think we'll just look around."

"That's fine. I'll be over by the counter if you need anything."

"Thanks," Buffy said, walking slowly around the shop, admiring the various owls. "What do you guys think?"

"I don't know," Xander said. "I've never shopped for owls before. What's the difference?"

"Honestly? I have no idea," Buffy said.

"I like that one," Anya said suddenly, pointing to a dark cage in one corner of the shop. The three walked closer to the cage to get a better look at the owl.

Inside the cage stood a white owl with dark brown, almost black, bars and spots decorating the feathers all over. The black beak stood out amongst her white, rounded head and yellow eyes. The bird was a little less than two feet tall and looked as if it weighed no more than four pounds.

"It's pretty," Buffy said. She looked to the left of the cage where she found a small description of the bird. "It's a snowy owl," she read.

"I like it. Let's buy it," Anya said, picking up the cage by the handle on top, and carrying it over to the counter.

"You want to buy that owl?" the worker asked, surprised when Anya gently laid the cage of the counter.

"Yes," Anya said eagerly. "I would like to purchase this bird. Buffy, pay the nice man."

Buffy rolled her eyes and ignored Anya's behaviour, well used to it by now. She focused her attention on the man behind the counter. "What do you mean 'that one'?" Buffy asked. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"Is it a boy?" Anya asked worriedly, glancing towards the caged owl.

The shopkeeper frowned at Anya and said, "It's a girl."

Anya visibly relaxed, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "Good, then there's nothing wrong. Don't scare me like that!"

"There's nothing wrong really," the man assured, overlooking her insinuation that men had problems. "It's just... interesting that you chose that owl."

"Why?" Buffy asked, getting a little annoyed that the man was being so evasive.

"It's just that no one ever seems to want her. She's been here for several years and she always gets overlooked."

"Maybe it's because you have her in the darkest corner of the shop," Xander said.

"No, people have looked at her, but they always walk away and choose a different one. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with her if no one bought her soon. Her sister was bought about five years ago, and I swear that owl misses her. It's very strange."

"Well, Anya's a strange girl; no one understands why she does the things she does," Xander said fondly. "She's a mystery to us all. It seems like a perfect match."

"It must be my lucky day," the worker said. "You've taken the two birds that were bringing me down. I'll give you a special deal, only three galleons."

Buffy rummaged through her change purse, collecting three large gold coins and handing them over the counter. As the man received the payment, Anya grabbed the top of the cage and pulled it off the counter.

"You're a very good girl, aren't you?" Anya said, looking at the bird. The owl hooted softly in response.

"I'll tell you one thing," the man said as the three walked toward the door. "That owl loves rabbits. More so than any other owl I've had." When he said rabbits, Anya gave a small start.

"Ah," Xander said knowingly. "Mystery solved." He bent down and picked up the bag of robes he had dropped when they first came in.

"I'm sorry?" the man asked, not understanding.

"Anya hates rabbits," Buffy explained. The man's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he turned to Anya.

"I thought all girls loved rabbits," he said.

"Not our Ahn," Xander said, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

"Fluffy, hoppy, twitchy little monsters," Anya cried. "Now look what you've done! I'm sure to have nightmares."

"And your faithful owl will eat them all up, saving you from the vicious bunnies," Xander teased.

Anya brightened suddenly, looking at her owl. "I knew I liked you for a reason."

"Thanks for the birds," Buffy said, leading them towards the door.

"I'm the one that should be thanking you," he called. "Enjoy your new friends!"

"We will," Buffy said, pushing open the door. The phoenix, still on her shoulder trilled happily.

"Now that is a great bird," Xander exclaimed. "Every time she does that, a warm feeling spreads through me. It makes me all happy inside; it's much better than listening to country music."

"I can't believe I have a phoenix," Buffy said, still in shock. "I mean, I've always wanted one, but I never thought I'd get one. They're so rare."

"It goes perfectly with your necklace," Xander said.

Buffy gently rubbed the pendant between her two fingers, thinking about Sirius. "You know what? I have the strangest feeling that I've seen her somewhere before. I just can't remember where." The phoenix picked at her pocket, where her wand was, and Buffy understood. "You're the one whose feather is in my wand?" A red head nodded up and down in understanding. "Wow. Um... thanks." Buffy didn't know what else to say, but she had a strange feeling. Maybe she'd seen the bird in her dreams before.

"Uh, Buffy?" Xander asked quietly. "Why is everyone staring at us?"

Buffy glanced around and noticed that they were getting quite a few stares from the people on the street.

"It's the phoenix," Buffy realized. "They're so rare, and it's not like you can just buy them. They pick someone and they stay with them. You've got to go," Buffy said to the bird. "You can find me later if you want. Once we're out of Diagon Alley, okay?" The red bird gave a sad whistle but disappeared.

"Whoa!" Xander said, "I didn't know they could do that!"

"Yeah. And they can take someone with them as well."

"Now that is my kind of pet. Whenever you're in a tough spot, here comes your phoenix and poof, you're gone."

"Their tears have healing powers and they can carry extremely heavy loads," Buffy added.

"How do you know so much?"

"In my third year at Hogwarts, in my Care of Magical Creatures class, I had to write an essay on a creature of my choice. I chose a phoenix. I've liked them ever since I can remember, and I don't know why. I used to beg my parents to get me one for my birthdays and it was always the first item on my Christmas List." Buffy fondly remembered her past, sharing the memories with her friends. "James and Sirius used to tease me about my obsession. But then, Sirius went and got me the closest thing to a phoenix I've ever had. Until now, at least."

"The pendent," Xander said, watching a small smile play on the Slayer's lips as she thought about her old love.

"I wonder what they'd say about my new phoenix."

"I guess we'll find out soon enough, right?" Xander asked. "That's what we're here for."

"Yeah," Buffy said, butterflies coming to her stomach.

"We'll go and get Willow and Giles and then we'll find your family," Xander said. He could tell Buffy was starting to get nervous. Not that she showed it-she never showed any weakness anymore-but he had known her long enough to tell.

"It's going to be fine," he said, looking in her eyes. "They're going to be thrilled to see you, and they'll love you, and everything is going to go fine."

"Promise?" Buffy asked in a small voice.

"Would I ever lie to you?" Xander joked, lightening the mood.

"Would you like me to answer that or shall I just glare?" Buffy asked in her best Giles-like voice, mimicking words he once told her.

"Now that is scary," Xander said. "Don't ever do that again." He backed away from her and started walking to the bookstore, glancing over his shoulder every now and then.

Buffy smiled slightly at his antics. The butterflies disappeared for the time being and she went to catch up to Xander and Anya, who had followed Xander down the street.
"You know, these robes aren't that bad," Anya said randomly, filling the silence that had fallen over the group.

"They are fairly nice," Xander said appreciatively.

"They don't scratch and I'm not too hot."

"And best of all, we blend in," Buffy said as they approached the bookstore where they left Willow and Giles.

She pushed open the door and walked inside. The old shop was familiar in more ways than one. She remembered browsing through here during the years when she was stuck at home while James and Sirius were at Hogwarts. She remembered coming here to search for books on the required book list for Hogwarts, sneaking in a couple extra when her brother wasn't looking. And lastly, she remembered the Sunnydale Library.

"It smells old and dusty in here," Anya complained. Actually, the store was welcoming and friendly, and very well lit.

"Just like Sunnydale High," Xander said fondly, reflecting back on the better days of their lives.

Buffy was about to respond when a person rounded the corner. Her jaw dropped slightly and her eyes widened in surprise. "Giles!" she reprimanded. "What are you doing? Do you plan to buy the whole bookstore?" The amount of books in his basket was astonishing.

Giles looked up, noticing the trio for the first time. He wore a goofy grin on his face and he appeared vaguely distracted. And very excited. "They have the best selection of books here... I haven't been anywhere this good in a long time. And believe me, I've looked. This will really help replace some of the books I've lost. And the nice man made my basket feather light," Giles added with another quick silly smile.

"What have we done?" Xander asked in mock horror. "We left him alone in a huge bookstore." He turned to Buffy accusingly. "What were you thinking?"

"Me?" Buffy began. "I didn't leave him alone, he was with... Willow!" Looking over Xander's shoulder, Buffy saw her red headed friend in the same state as her watcher. Her basket was also overflowing with books.

"Look what I found!" She exclaimed excitedly as she came over to greet her best friend. She was bouncing up and down a little as she held up a book in front of Buffy's face. "It'll help us out when I teach you about wandless magic." She put that book down and started to pick up another one, "And this one is about..."

"Willow," Xander said, laying his hand gently on her arm, lowering the book back into the cart. "I'm going to have to cut you off."

Willow's smile faded to be replaced by a look of growing terror. "No. You can't cut me off. I don't need to be cut off." Xander just nodded sadly at her while she became increasingly more panicked.

"But I just got here," she said, backing away. "There's still so much more to see, and read, and buy." Buffy took the basket from her friend's hands and Xander steered her towards the door. "NO!"

"Sorry, Will. You can come back another time." This quieted her down a bit, and Xander was able to get her safely out of the shop.

Buffy and Anya quietly went up to Giles, who had only been paying a little attention to what was going on.

As he realized what the two girls were planning on doing, his grip tightened on his basket and he backed away slowly. "Now see here," he said nervously. "I am your elder and as such I should be treated with respect."

Buffy yanked the basket out of his hands.

"Hey!" Giles cried out, pouting a little.

"You may be my elder, but you're acting like a little kid."

"I am not," Giles said indignantly.

"Are too," Buffy responded and then rolled her eyes at the direction they were heading. "Anya, could you please take him outside? I'll pay for the books and meet you in a minute."

Anya nodded and grabbed Giles' wrist, with her free hand and guided him to where Xander and Willow were waiting. "Come along you crazy book-obsessed man."

Buffy took the two baskets over to the counter and placed them on the top, ready to be purchased.

The elderly looking man at the counter gave a smile as he noticed the piles of books. "Do you like to read?"

"No," Buffy said automatically. "Yes," Buffy corrected, changing her mind, "I mean kind of. I used to read but I don't anymore. It's complicated."

"I see," the man said, clearly not understanding.

"They aren't for me," Buffy said. "My friends are a little book crazy."

"A little?" he asked amused as he totaled the price.

"A lot," Buffy admitted. She counted out the total (she barely had enough!) and handed it to the man.

As he took out a small bag, placed a bottomless bag spell on it, and a lightweight spell on it, Buffy thought about what she was going to do next.

First she had to find out where James lived and then he'd know where to find their parents, Sirius, Remus and Lily. She didn't care much about Peter.

The man packing her books was old enough, he might know where James lived, or at least know where she could find him.

"Do you happen to know James Potter?" Buffy asked suddenly, her mind made up.

The man paused in his packing, startled, and glanced up at her. He gave a slight chuckle, believing it to be some kind of joke. "Of course I do, everyone does."

Buffy was surprised to hear that, but tried not to look it, and laughed a little at her 'mistake' as well. "Obviously you do, I was just wondering where I could find him."

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CHAPTER 7: LOST

"I was just wondering if you knew where I could find him," Buffy said, trying to be casual and hide the anxiety, happiness, and fear in her voice.

"I know where he is. Do you need directions?" the old man asked, thinking she was just another tourist. Over the years, people from all over had come by, asking for directions to the Potters' Memorial. They wanted to pay their respect for the couple that had given their lives, and were the proud parents of the famous Boy-Who-Lived, savior of the wizarding world.

"If you don't mind," Buffy said with a smile. This was it. She was going to see her brother. It had been so long. Buffy could barely contain herself as the gray-headed man scribbled a small map of familiar looking street names.

"It's hidden in the middle of a forest. Once you get there, it's the third row, fourth from the left," he said, handing the paper over.

Buffy grasped the paper, assuming the 'there' the old man referred to was the subdivision. She had no reason to suspect otherwise.

"Thank you," Buffy said, looking at the paper with wide eyes. She was now holding the key to her reunion. Her new life. Or, her old life, depending on how one looked at it.

"My pleasure," the old man replied smiling and handing over the bag of books. Buffy accepted the bag and slowly trudged out of the store, her eyes never leaving the sacred paper.

The fear she was feeling was being replaced with excitement. She was going to see James again. Her older brother!

The one who taught her the rules of their favorite game, Quidditch. The one who let her play with his friends every once in a while. Who came to her aid and never left her side after a particularly vicious quidditch game landed her in the hospital wing for two days. Who always defended her at school and looked out for her, scaring away the Slytherin jerks (especially Severus Snape), not that she needed help with that.

He even got into a huge fight with his best friend because he didn't want his little sister heartbroken.

Buffy smiled gently at the memory of her brother chasing Sirius around the house, and at the yelling that ensued. James yelling at Sirius, asking him in the hell he thought he was doing, Sirius defending himself, and Buffy stuck in between, yelling at them both to stop yelling. Eventually tempers died down and James grew to accept their relationship, although it didn't mean he liked it.

Sirius knew, best friend or not, if he hurt Buffy, then he'd wish he'd never even met James.

Lost in her thoughts as she walked out of the bookstore, she was surprised when the bag of books was unceremoniously ripped from her hands.

Buffy glanced up from the paper and was preparing to attack an unknown enemy when she heard Willow's voice complaining.

"Why is there only one bag? Did you put some back?" Willow asked hysterically. She began rifling through the contents of the bag, determined to find what Buffy had shelved. "I needed all of those! Some of them were for you! How could you just..."

Buffy finally found her voice as her brain caught up to her body. "Chill, Will. I bought all the books that were in the baskets. By the way, I expect to be paid back for those. Who knew books could be so expensive?"

"There's no way you bought all of them. The bag's not big enough!"

"It's magic, Will," Buffy said slowly, amazed at her friend. "You know that thing we do?"

"Oh, right," Willow said sheepishly, concluding her search through the bag.

"So what'd ya got there Buff?" Xander asked, noticing the paper in her hand. "Did you get a number with those books?"

"Nope, I got an address," Buffy said. "Well, not an address exactly. More like a map."

"Well," Willow said uncertainly. "Isn't that going a little fast? I mean you just met him..."

"He just wants you for sex; that's obvious," Anya said bluntly.

"I don't remember seeing too many guys in there, and you weren't even inside very long," Willow continued her ramble with a thoughtful frown. "I mean, the only guy you could've met was the cashier."

"You mean the old man?" Anya asked. "But he had to be over eighty."

"I know you have a thing for older guys, Buff, but don't you think an eighty year old man who actually looks his age is pushing it?" Xander asked good-naturedly.

"It's a map to my brother's," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh," Willow said, and everyone was quiet for a minute, absorbing the new information

"Yeah," Buffy replied quietly, once again looking at the rough map she was holding.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Xander asked, clapping his hands.

Buffy looked up at Xander and a smile grew on her lips, the first real smile Xander had seen since they brought her back from Heaven. Even before that.

"Absolutely nothing," Buffy said.

Xander knew that they had done the right thing in coming here. Even if she hadn't seen him in over a decade, he was still family. The only family she had left. He had missed that smile, the way her whole face lit up, and he could just tell that she was happy.

Happiness like that was hard to come by in their lives, especially for her. As one of her best friends, it was his duty to make sure that she was happy; that she had enough will to fight another day. Lately he'd been lacking in his department.

So he held out his arm, and addressed Buffy. "After you, my lady," Xander joked.

"Thank you, kind sir," Buffy joked back with a curtsey and a giggle.

Willow and Giles exchanged startled looks at Buffy's happy behavior. A real smile and a giggle?

"Well, let's go," Willow said with a smile of her own.

Buffy gently took a hold of Xander's arm and they led the group back to the Leaky Cauldron.

As they entered the dimly lit pub, Buffy saw Tom by the behind the bar, right where she had left him. "Hi Tom," she said with a cheerful wave and smile. Tom gave a nod and a small smile back, still unsure exactly who she was, but thought it was rude to ask.

The group moved quickly though the pub, as they wanted to avoid any questions.

"So, should we walk or get a cab?" Xander asked as they stepped back onto the busy street of London.

"Cab!" Buffy said, noticing a cab coming their way, and she released Xander so that she could wave down the cab.

"That was fortunate," Giles said. "But will we all fit into one cab?"

"Of course," Xander said. "But you should probably sit shotgun. The three girls can sit with me in the back." Xander wrapped an arm around Willow's shoulders, and the other around Anya's. "Oh, the fun we'll have."

"I doubt the cab driver would appreciate that," Giles said as he watched Buffy talk to the cab driver from the passenger window.

"He says he can take us," Buffy told them as she turned around. They all piled into the car, throwing their purchases into the trunk.

Buffy, from her place on the left of Xander, who sat with Anya on his lap and Willow on his right, handed the driver the map. "Could you take us there?"

"Not a problem," the driver replied, taking the piece of parchment, and eyeing it curiously for a moment, before he drove on.

The trip wasn't very long and Buffy was grateful. They had tried to make some small talk, but they couldn't talk about much in front of the muggle driver. It mostly consisted of:

"You chaps from America then? On vacation?"

"Those three are, but I'm English, and so is she, amazingly enough."

"Right you are. Are you enjoying your stay?"

"Yep. Always wanted to visit the land of the tweed."

"Pardon?"

"Never mind him, he just likes to talk."

"So, have you seen any of the sights yet?"

"No, we've just arrived and haven't had a chance to look around yet."

"What do you recommend? It'd be interesting to get a native's point of view."

"And what am I? A bloody alien?"

"Well, there's a lot to see. I'm sure you'd be interested in the London Bridge, and the Tower of London, and then there's Bath, the place of the old Roman Baths..."

While Willow, Giles and the cab driver engaged in the variety of sight seeing places in England, Buffy stared out the window.

Xander, watching Buffy quietly, squeezed her hand gently. "Almost there."

Buffy turned around and gave Xander a smile. "I know." There was no fear anymore. She was still very nervous, but excitement and happiness were bubbling up inside her and taking up all the room she had. "I was just thinking about when we were kids. Some of the things we did... We were crazy. James especially."

"You were a wild child?" Xander asked.

"Not really wild; more like exceptionally curious and fun," Buffy defended. "James was a prankster. You two will probably get along well."

"I'm not really so much a prankster as I am a jokester," Xander said reflectively.

"That's true. But I was a prankster too, I had to follow in my brother's footsteps, and I still love you."

"You were a prankster?" Xander asked surprised.

"Oh yeah," Buffy chuckled. "I mean, James was definitely worse, but I did pull some very nice tricks. When I wasn't studying, of course," Buffy said slyly.

"You studied?"

"Yep. I liked school. I was top of my class."

"You were at the top of your class?" Xander repeated stupidly.

"I even read!" Buffy said. Seeing Xander's reaction she joked, "You know, you look more attractive with your mouth closed."

At that moment, the cab slowed down and then stopped next to a large patch of woods. "Here you are," the driver announced.

"Thanks," Buffy said, exiting the cab while Giles pulled out his English pounds for payment.

"Um, Buffy?" Willow said as the cab drove away. "Where are we?" They were facing a large patch of forest, with no buildings around.

"It's magic, remember?" Buffy said as she walked towards the tress. "The wizarding community is well hidden from muggles, even though they live amongst each other. It's like the Leaky Cauldron. Just keep your eyes open for an entrance."

They all walked into the woods, looking around for something. Soon they spread out just enough to cover more ground.

"There!" Xander said, pointing at a place in the distance.

"I see a clearing," Anya said.

Every gathered around and they started to walk towards it. Buffy's heart rate picked up in excitement. "This is it," she said with a smile.

Leaves crackled under their feet and the trees began to thin out the closer they walked toward the lighted clearing.

Buffy took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Unfortunately it didn't work. "I'm going to see James!"

The setting sun caused shadows to fall within the forest and the lights from the clearing looked much more inviting.

Large arches became visible, and a big brick wall circled around and out of sight. The name printed on the large gates became visible and Buffy's smile slipped off her face. Confusion marred her features before realization took a hold of her.

Her heart stopped.

"Why are we at a cemetery?" Anya asked.

Buffy slowly walked forward, past the large iron gates. She was on autopilot, slowly putting one foot in front of the other. She had to find out. She had to know.

'Third row, fourth from the left. Third row, fourth from the left.' In her mind, Buffy kept repeating what the old man had told her.

'One,' Buffy thought as her foot passed the first row of headstones.

'Two.' Buffy looked ahead, not seeing anything in front of her.

'Three.' Her feet turned off the grassy path onto the side path on her left.

'One.' She didn't hear the footsteps of her friends following a ways behind her.

'Two.' She didn't hear her friends whispering.

"This is gonna kill her," Willow said. "She was getting better since she got her memory back, but if he's... if he's dead, I don't think she's gonna be able to handle it."

'Three.' Her footsteps slowed down even more.

"Why can't they ever give her a break?" Xander asked.

'Four.' Buffy stopped her feet and turned her body to face the headstone. Her gaze focused once again and she dropped her eyes to the block of granite near her feet.

She read the words she dreaded to see and her breath stopped.

What was left of her heart broke. What was left of the tiny fracture pieces of her tattered heart felt as if they were being grinded into a fine powder using a very heavy sledgehammer.

"No," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Her friends had caught up to her and saw the name engraved into the granite.

James Potter.

"No," Buffy cried again, a sob rising to her throat. Her hand came up to her mouth, as if she could stifle the cries, but they burst through relentlessly.

Buffy sank to her knees and sobbed, a sound that crushed the hearts of her friends standing nearby. It was the first time anyone had heard her cry, even before she died. She was crying for everything she had lost. Herself, her life, her love, and most of all, she was crying for her brother.

Willow, tears in her own eyes, came forward to hug Buffy and comfort the distressed girl. "Oh Buffy! I'm so sorry."

Buffy grasped onto Willow as if she were her lifeline, but the tears didn't stop. Willow gently rocked Buffy on the dry, hard, and cold cemetery ground.

Xander wrapped Anya in a hug and Giles took off his glasses; none of them could really understand the pain Buffy was in, but they knew she didn't deserve it - how many times had she saved the world? And this is what she got in return? Her family ripped away from her more times than she could count? Buffy was a girl who loved strongly and deeply. She relied on the love of her friends and family to keep her sane in the darkness of her life. She would protect her loved ones with her life, as she had proven time and time again. Losing her loved ones had disastrous consequences.

Buffy had allowed herself to hope. She had thought that for once in her life, things were going to be okay. For the first time since she came back from Heaven, she had been happy; she should have know she was setting herself up for more pain.

It hurt so much! It was inside her, consuming her; it was in her blood, screaming at her from her veins. It was a living thing that never died.

While sobs were still wracking Buffy's small frame, Giles took his watery eyes away for a brief reprieve, and instantly wished he hadn't. He had read the names on the graves to the sides of James' and knew it was only going to get worse for his young charge. To the right, a headstone marked Lily Potter, Buffy's best friend, if he remembered correctly, and presumably James' wife.

On the left stood three more graves bearing the Potter name: two for her parents, and the farthest one away for herself. Elizabeth Potter.

Buffy's gut wrenching sobs were slowing down and she was gasping for the breath she wasn't able to get. Willow was doing her best to calm Buffy down, but it was hard to be a comforter when tears were flowing down her face as well.

Buffy stopped crying, but she didn't get up. Her head was on Willow's lap, and she was curled up in a foetal position. She didn't move and her eyes were staring, unblinking, into the distance.

She looked dead. The only outward sign that she was still alive was her chest laboriously rising up and down. On the inside, she might as well have been dead. She was lost in her own little world of grief. She had lost too much in her life, and losing her brother was the last straw.

"Buffy?" Willow asked, trying to rouse the Slayer.

She didn't move.

"Buffy, please get up," Willow said.

No response.

"The sun is setting and there could be vampires."

Nothing.

"Buffy, please, James wouldn't have wanted you to be like this. He'd want you to be happy."

Not even a blink.

"You still have your parents and Lily, and Sirius, and Remus," Willow tried one last time.

Still nothing.

"Actually, she doesn't," Anya said. "They're right there." Anya had also noticed the surrounding graves and pointed them out to the others.

Willow looked around, confused, and then horrified. "Oh God!"

Anya's statement was the only one to penetrate the deep mist surrounding Buffy's mind. She blinked and sat up, looking around warily at the graves. She could feel more tears rising, but she forced them down.

Lily Potter. 'She must have married James,' Buffy thought.

Marie Potter. 'Mom,' Buffy thought brokenly.

Frank Potter. 'Dad.' She didn't feel anything anymore. They were all dead. Gone. Forever. And they were never coming back.

Unlike her. She could never stay dead, even when she wanted to. She was pulled out of heaven and sucked back into this hell. She had to crawl her way out of her own grave.

Elizabeth Potter. "No," Buffy said, looking at her own tombstone. "No!" She scrambled back until her back was pressing against another slate of cool granite.

"I'm not dead!" She said, shutting her eyes tightly, and clasping her hands over her ears. Images of a coffin appeared in her head. She could still remember being trapped, wanting to be free. She could remember clawing at the lid, which was covered with six feet of heavy dirt.

Dad. Mom. James. Lily. They were all dead, and she didn't get to say goodbye. They were dead and she never knew. They were dead and she didn't save them. She couldn't save them. They were dead and they died, thinking that she was dead.

"No!" Buffy yelled again. "I'm not dead!" This time, the tombstone exploded into a thousand pieces.

Willow yelped and threw up her hands, creating a shield around the five, protecting them from the flying pieces.

Somebody had done this. They had killed her family. It couldn't have been coincidence that the five Potters had died. Somebody was responsible.

Somebody would pay.

Buffy felt anger growing within her and she realized that she wasn't completely empty inside. She was now running on vengeance.

She was going to get revenge.

Buffy stood up. She had a mission now. A purpose. And heaven forbid anyone should stand in her way.

"Buffy?" Giles asked, startled by the look in her eyes, a look he had thankfully not seen in her eyes before. A look he had never wanted to see in her eyes.

"He's going to pay," Buffy said through clenched teeth.

"Who?" Xander asked warily.

"Cornelius Fudge." Her eyes flashed golden.

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CHAPTER 8: REVELATIONS

"Fudge?" Giles asked with surprise. "What does he have to do with this?" Giles was worried for Buffy; he had never seen her like this before, and knew that he had to do something to stop her from doing something she'd never forgive herself for. Hopefully he hadn't lost her yet.

"He's responsible for this, I know it," Buffy stated, trying to walk away, but her friends blocked her path.

"You just found out they were... here," Willow said, trying to avoid the word dead. "How do you know he did it?" Willow asked carefully. She wanted to get her friend to think. If she did, maybe she wouldn't go out and do something rash.

"He's the one who ordered me dead," Buffy said. "Don't you think it's a little odd that both my parents died within a few years after my 'death', and then my brother and his wife died soon after that? It seems a little strange that the whole Potter line is wiped out within a matter of years, and he's the one who started it."

"I don't see another Potter," Anya said suddenly, her attention fixed on 'the whole Potter line' part of Buffy's rant.

"What?" Buffy said harshly.

"The headstone says 'beloved mother' and that one says 'devoted father'," Anya said, pointing out the inscriptions on Lilys and James' tombs. "But I don't see another headstone, unless they don't place the babies with their parents, which would be kind of stupid," Anya said.

Buffy turned around surprised. She hadn't gotten to the inscriptions on the headstones. But there it was, 'mother' and 'father'.

"They had a child?" Buffy said quietly, her anger momentarily forgotten as other emotions swept through her. She was on an emotional roller coaster that had lost all control. She wanted to get off. She felt joy that they had a child, sorrow that she wasn't there for them, despair that the child had lost its parents, and once again anger that they weren't able to grow up with their baby. Another family ruthlessly and needlessly torn apart.

"Why?" Buffy asked quietly, anger seeping into her voice. "Why can't anyone ever let people be happy? Is it too much to ask for?"

No one had anything to say; they were a little shocked by Buffy's reaction. They thought that she might be happy or relieved that she had family left. They didn't expect more anger.

"Well, someone's going to have to show him what it feels like to have your loved ones ripped away. Assuming he has any, that is." Buffy turned away from the graves and started to head out, but her friends stopped her once again.

Sure, she could have hurt them to make them move, but her fight wasn't with them.

"Move," she said menacingly.

That didn't mean she had to be nice.

"Buffy, I realize that you're upset..." Giles started to say, but was cut off by Buffy's outburst.

"Upset? Upset? Why would I be upset? It's not like I actually lost anything, right? I mean, I haven't seen my family in ten years, no, sixteen years, and I've been looking forward to seeing them again, ever since I got my memories back, which were taken from me in the first place. And now I found out that all my hope and joy at seeing them again was in vain, because they're not even here anymore. I'm never gonna see them again. But I'm not upset. Why would I be upset?" Buffy finished sarcastically.

"I just meant that this must be a terrible tragedy to you, and I can't even imagine the pain you're going through," Giles said sincerely. "But you must not act rashly. I know you're used to killing the monster that hurts you, but this time you can't."

"Watch me," Buffy said. She tried to push her way through, fairly gently of course, but Xander grabbed her by the shoulders and held her still.

"Breathe, Buffy," he told her gently. "Take a second, take a deep breath in and think about what you're saying." When Buffy didn't say anything he continued. "You're talking about killing a person, possibly several persons. A human being. This is something you've fought against your entire life."

"Revenge isn't as sweet as you might think," Willow said. "Trust me, I know. It eats you up inside and it tears you apart. You'll just fall into the darkness, and you want it to take you because it's easier than fighting. You think it might get rid of the pain, you think it'll help, but it doesn't. The pain never goes away and revenge will only make it worse. I know you. You can't take a human life. It would destroy you."

"You really don't want to do this Buffy," Xander said.

"Yes I do," Buffy said quietly, startling everyone, including herself. She was amazed at how much hate, anger, and pain she had stored up inside her over the years. "I've suffered so much, it's time for someone else for a change."

"It's not your place to deal out justice," Giles said, looking at his Slayer strangely.

"Somebody's got to do it." Everyone was quiet for a moment.

"Where's the Buffy I know and love?"" Xander said. "She would never even think about doing this, let alone seriously talk about it."

"She's dead," Buffy said bluntly. "She died a long time ago. It's just taken you this long to figure it out." Buffy finally pushed past her friends, who were too stunned to stop her.

"You can't do this Buffy!" Willow finally yelled after her. "Look what happened to me! It'll kill you!"

Buffy whirled around angrily. "You don't get it do you?" Buffy said, unknowingly repeating the words Faith once said to her. "I don't care!" she yelled. She waited a second and then, much quieter, she repeated, "I don't care."

In that moment, Giles thought he had truly lost her, but he wasn't about to give up. Not now. Not ever. He still had to play his trump card.

Buffy turned around again and had started to walk off slowly. The difference between her and Faith was that Faith had said those words with a smile. Buffy, on the other hand, was driven by her emotions; in the end she really did care.

"What about your niece or nephew?" Giles yelled at her back.

She stopped, but she didn't turn around.

"Whoever it is doesn't seem to have much family left either," Giles said, trying to play on her family loyalty. She had never done anything to hurt, harm or abandon her family.

He just hoped she wouldn't start now.

"You're an Aunt now Buffy," Willow said, catching on to Giles' train of thought. "I'm sure your brother's child would be delighted to know about you."

"Who wouldn't?" Xander asked with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"And then there's Sirius and Remus," Willow added. "I didn't see their graves anywhere."

Buffy still hadn't moved an inch.

"You might not know it, Buffy, but you need them. Just like they need you," Giles said.

"We need you," Willow added quietly. Buffy turned around.

"I'm tired of being needed," she said quietly, defeated, her voice reflecting all her emotions. "I'm tired of being strong."

"If being strong means fighting the good fight and not giving in to the evil, that you don't go crazy and hell-bent on revenge, that you stay sane and away from the dark side, then yes, you have to be strong." Willow said, stepping closer to her friend.

"But besides that, we don't need you to be strong all the time," Xander said. "We don't want you to be. We don't need you to hold all of us up."

"That's how everyone falls," Anya said, surprisingly adding some insightful comments. "It's like a house of cards. If you pile them all on top of one card, it's going to topple. But if you lean them all against each other, then it will stay strong." At everyone's looks she said, "I'm over a thousand years old; I get bored."

"We just want you to be Buffy," Willow said.

"The Buffy that always laughed at my jokes, no matter how corny they were."

"The Buffy who came over to my house to study, but all we did was gossip about boys and our prospective lives."

"The Buffy who did what she wanted, ignoring all rules and guidelines I set down."

"The Buffy that cracked a smile every once and a while."

"The Buffy that insisted on having a life outside of slaying."

"The Buffy who fought with everything she had to get what she wanted."

"The Buffy who'd never take no for an answer."

"Who'd never give up."

"Who beat up Willy the Snitch." Everyone looked at Anya again.

Buffy, who had tears in her eyes, gave a small half-laugh, half-sob.

"We want the Buffy who wanted to live, who thought life was a precious gift," Giles said.

"Carpe Diem," Willow whispered quietly, stepping even closer to her friend.

"We want the Buffy that had fun every now and then; the one who'd party after we saved the world," Xander said.

"I miss that Buffy," Willow said, right in front of the blonde.

"I miss her too," Buffy said, her anger mostly melting away, as tears poured down her face and more sobs emerged.

Her best friend held her once again as she cried. But these were different tears. She was crying for the person she once was, and now longed desperately to be. She could never be the same person, she had seen too much and grown up too fast, but she could try and be happy again.

She could try.

At that moment, her phoenix appeared out of nowhere and landed on a headstone nearby. Seeing her owner in such a distraught state, the phoenix opened her mouth and began to sing a beautiful song, warming their hearts and souls.

Buffy's tears stopped as the notes rang in her ears- how could she be so sad or angry with that music playing? It eased all her fears and worries and made her feel calm.

And happy.

"Okay, no more mopey Buffy," Buffy said, drying her eyes once the music stopped.

"I love that bird!" Xander exclaimed. The phoenix gave a happy trill and flew over to his shoulder. Xander rubbed the bird's brilliant red feathers and said, "You can sing to me anytime you want."

"Are you okay, Buffy?" Willow asked her friend.

"I think I will be. It still hurts, but I think I'll be okay," Buffy said.

"Just promise me that you'll come and talk to me, or anybody really, when you need to, okay? No more bottling it up inside."

"I heard it's bad for your chi," Xander interrupted.

"And what do you know about chi?" Giles asked Xander.

"Promise?" Willow asked, directing Buffy's attention away from the bickering men, and back to their previous conversation.

"I promise," Buffy said with a small, tired smile. "Like we used to."

"Right," Willow said. "That's what best friends do. They come to each other when they need help. I guess we've all been pretty bad about that lately, but it's all gonna change."

"Yep," Buffy said with a nod.

"And no more revenge plots?" Willow asked carefully.

"Willow," Xander said, wrapping his arm over Willow's shoulders. "We don't want her to kill anyone, but that doesn't rule out revenge. I mean you gotta get your kicks somewhere right? And I hear that Buffy used to be one bad-assed prankster. Like the old saying goes... 'there's more than one way to skin a cat.'"

"I thought it was kill a cat," Anya said.

"Well, whatever it is, you get my point. I'm sure Buffy can come up with some non-lethal way to have some fun, right Buffy?" Xander asked with a wink.

"I'm sure I can think of something," Buffy said, ideas running through her head. "And when I'm done, he's gonna wish he had never even heard of the Potters."

"What do you say we get out of here?" Xander asked.

"Sure," Buffy said. "I just want to say goodbye," she finished quietly, looking at the graves.

She walked slowly past her friends who looked at her sadly. They watched as she approached the graves and crouched down in a squat. They turned away to give her some privacy.

As they did, they saw a figure walking through the darkness of the cemetery.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Willow said suddenly. "This is a wizard's cemetery, right? Maybe that person knows what happened to the Potters! I mean, it must be fairly big news if the whole Potter family died. And then he can tell us where James's child is!"

"And what if, when we call that mysterious person over here, he pulls out a bunch of fangs and eats us all for supper?" Anya asked.

"Oh come on. It's five against one. And we have a you know what," Willow said, not wanting to say the word Slayer if the person really was a vampire.

"Fine," Anya said. "But if he pulls out some weird mojo, and kills us all, I'm blaming you."

With that, they walked over to the man, who seemed to be heading their way. Upon closer inspection, they could tell he was wearing dark black robes, and had short brown hair. He didn't look too old, and he looked kind of cute, with his bright blue eyes. "What are you guys doing in the cemetery at this time of night?" the man asked once they got closer.

"My friend was just visiting some... friends," Willow said, not wanting to mention that she was related to the Potters. She was supposed to be dead.

"We were wondering if you knew anything about the Potters," Xander said, getting straight to the point.

A quick look of anger passed over the man's face but then it was replaced with a surprised look. "The Potters? What do you want with them?"

"We just want to know how they died. All of them," Willow said.

"You don't know? I thought everyone knew."

"Well, we've been away, in America, for some time now. News doesn't travel that quickly."

"Okay. Where should I start?"

"How about with B.. Elizabeth," Giles suggested.

"Ah, yes. Elizabeth. I haven't heard her name in quiet a while. It seemed like after her death, everyone forgot about her. Except the Potters that is. Their house was attacked, on her birthday if I remember correctly. She was taken by the death eaters and then some Auror found her dead somewhere near her house."

While he was talking, Buffy had walked up behind them. She saw her friends walking over to the man, and wondered what was going on. Now she stood quietly, listening intently. She would find out what had happened.

"Needless to say, the Potters didn't take it too well. The father wanted revenge, and spent all his time looking for death eaters, trying to kill them all. I guess he figured he could make it up to his daughter by making sure no one else got killed. One day, around a year after she died, he got into a sticky situation. He stumbled upon a meeting, and didn't have any backup. He lasted longer than most, but he didn't survive. He did take out several death eaters with him; that man was known for his duelling skills. He got better after her death.

"With her husband gone, her eldest son out of school and entering into the auror academy, and her daughter dead, the mother eventually wasted away with grief. She didn't want to lose her son too, but he was determined to be an auror, as were his friends. I think they all wanted to be aurors mainly because of Elizabeth's death.

"Anyway, eventually Lily and James got married, and then they had a son. Harry," the man spit out the name with disgust, which left the people listening raptly to wonder. "It was well known that the Dark Lord was after the Potters, though not too many people knew why; although, they were a royal pain in the ass for him. So, the Potters went into hiding using the Secret Keeper spell. Only the Secret Keeper could divulge the information of their whereabouts. They knew there was a spy within their circle of friends, but they didn't know which one it was. Unfortunately," the man said with a small smirk, "they trusted the wrong friend and made his Secret Keeper.

"The man betrayed them to the Dark Lord who came to the Potters house on Halloween and killed James and Lily." The man's smile faded off his face. "Amazingly enough, when the Dark Lord tried to kill young Harry, who was only a year old, the spell rebounded off of the child and hit him. Harry became the Boy-Who-Lived, the savoir of the wizarding world, and the Dark Lord became naught but a bad memory.

"But, I'll tell you a little secret," the man said with a whisper. "The Dark Lord has risen again, and will soon take over, killing all the mudbloods and muggles until there are only his servants left."

"Who was the spy?" Buffy asked, thinking it was Peter. She felt so much hatred well up inside her at the thought of that little rat betraying her family. She never liked him, and it seemed she was right in her judgments. If only James had listened to her...

"Sirius Black."

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CHAPTER 9: ROUND AND ROUND

Buffy blinked as her mind attempted to process what he had said.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Buffy said, unsure if she had heard him correctly.

"Sirius Black betrayed the Potters," the man repeated.

"No, you must be mistaken," Buffy said. "Sirius would never betray James. They were best friends. They were basically brothers."

"And that's the best part," the man said. "The Potters thought that they were safe by using Black, but he turned them over to the Dark Lord just like that." The man gave a little snap of his fingers to emphasize his point. "They never saw it coming."

"No," Buffy denied more forcefully. "Peter was the rat in the group. If anyone had betrayed James, it would have been him. Sirius would never do that."

"A lot of people found it hard to believe, until the incident with Peter."

"What happened with Peter?" Buffy asked with narrowed eyes.

"Peter went after Sirius, and accused him of murdering Lily and James. He was right upset about their deaths. Peter never had a chance, as Black cornered him and blew him up on a street full of muggles. Thirteen people killed with a single curse. His finger was the biggest piece of him they could find."

The others were standing around shocked. They knew how Buffy felt about Sirius, she had told them everything she could. Now it seemed that once again, life decided to kick her while she was down.

But Buffy just wouldn't accept it.

"There is no way that Sirius could do those things. He's not that kind of person. He wouldn't do that," she ranted.

"You knew him years ago Buffy, lots of things could have changed," Willow said gently.

"Yeah, he could become a raving psycho who decided to switch sides," Anya said. "I mean, look what happened to Willow."

"You don't understand. He hated his family and they were all dark wizards. He would never do those things."

"No one else seemed to think so highly of him. Fudge sent him to Azkaban without trial."

"He did what?" Buffy asked, her tone deadly. She paled slightly at the mention of the horrible wizarding prison.

"How many years did he spend there? Around twelve, I think," the man supplied, thinking back. "Then he escaped. First prisoner ever to do it. He went after little Harry Potter at Hogwarts. Tried to kill him, but didn't succeed," the man said with a scowl. "That kid has more lives..."

"So is he dead?" Buffy asked with wide eyes.

"No. He escaped somehow. He's good at getting himself out of scrapes."

"Why would he want to kill Harry?"

"I realize you're blonde," the man said nastily, "but think about it will you? The man spent several years as a spy for the Dark Lord. He finally chose to show his true colours only to have the little runt defeat his master. I think he'd want revenge, don't you?"

"No. I don't," Buffy said, glaring at the man with cold eyes. "Sirius Black would never betray James Potter."

"You're the one who asked," the man said with a snarl.

"I wanted the truth," Buffy said.

"Well, the truth hurts, baby," he said. "If you can't handle it..."

The man didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. Buffy stepped foreword, grabbed a handful of his robes, and shoved him up a tree.

"Buffy, no!" Her friends barely had time to protest her sudden and rash actions.

"Handle this," she said, shoving a stake through his heart, oblivious to the cries around her.

His face showed his surprise at the sudden turn of events, and he didn't get another word in before he crumbled to dust.

Buffy dusted her hands and turned away from the tree where the man had once stood. She faced her friends who were astonished at her actions. "What?"

"That was a vampire?" Willow asked with surprise.

"Yeah, you didn't know that?" Buffy asked, shocked.

"No."

"We thought you had gone off your rocker and killed the innocent man," Anya said.

"Thanks so much for your confidence," Buffy said dryly. "It is night, and we're standing in a cemetery," she reminded them. At their abashed looks, she continued, "And how long have you been fighting evil now? This is why I don't take you on my patrols," Buffy finished with a slightly teasing tone.

"I didn't think vampires came with robes," Xander said.

"Because you're so used to seeing them with large white signs on their chests saying 'I'm a vamp, come slay me," Buffy joked.

"I think I've seen that on a t-shirt once," Willow said kidded.

"The kids these days," Xander said in a mock disapproving tone.

"Yes, well, I do believe we have other matters to attend to," Giles said, interrupting their playful banter. Buffy's slightly good mood vanished in an instant as she thought about what she had just learned.

"Sirius didn't do it," Buffy said defensively, since everyone was looking at her with pity.

"People change, Buffy," Willow reminded her gently. "It's been over a decade since you saw him last."

"He didn't do it," Buffy said adamantly. "There's something wrong with this story. I would've bet my life that Peter was the rat. Besides being an actual rat..." Buffy trailed off, frowning.

"Okay, say that Sirius is innocent. How are you going to prove it?" Xander said. "There were witnesses that say he killed thirteen people."

"You have the worst luck with men," Anya said.

"Tell me about it," Buffy said quietly. She began pacing, trying to get her thoughts in order. "I just need to think. I can do this."

"We've always wondered about that," Xander joked, and then shut up with the glare he received from the Slayer.

Giles was actually happy to have a new problem to deal with, because that meant it kept Buffy's mind off other things. Whenever she was faced with a problem, she wouldn't give up until it was solved, and that meant she did not have time to reflect on her life and how crappy it is.

"Well, why don't we start at the beginning?" Willow said, wanting her friend to be right. "Voldemort was after the Potters, so they went into hiding."

"Right. They used a spell to hide their whereabouts. Only the Secret Keeper would know where they were hidden. The only way anyone else would be able to find them would be if the Secret Keeper told."

"They knew that someone in their inner circle was a traitor," Xander said, "so they had to be careful about who they chose."

"And James chose Sirius to be the Secret Keeper?" Willow asked.

"Of course. It would be the obvious choice. They grew up together, there was no way that he would be the traitor. They were like brothers."

Willow's eyes widened at Buffy's phrasing. "The obvious choice."

"Exactly," Buffy said with a nod, still pacing.

"No, I mean, the obvious choice!" Willow repeated, getting excited.

Buffy finally caught on to what her friend was trying to say. "Of course!" she exclaimed in excitement. "It would be the obvious choice to choose Sirius! He would be captured, and possibly tortured, and then they would make him tell!"

"Unless he didn't know it!" Willow said.

"They must have told everyone that they were going to use Sirius, but then they really used someone else."

"But all those people saw Sirius kill thirteen people," Xander said, not wanting Buffy to get her hopes up.

Buffy and Willow got quiet again as they thought once again about what could have happened.

"The vampire said that Peter went after Sirius, and accused him of killing James and Lily in front of several witnesses, correct?" Giles asked thoughtfully.

"That doesn't make sense," Buffy said with a frown. "Peter was to much of a wimp to actively go against someone, especially Sirius. Peter's not much of a dueller. He had to know he was going to lose."

"You do crazy things for revenge," Willow said sadly.

"Well, if Sirius wasn't the Secret Keeper, who was?" Giles asked.

"I would have chosen Remus," Buffy said. "But I doubt that he would be the traitor either. They had to have picked Peter."

"If they did pick Peter, why would he go after Sirius?" Xander asked. He could practically see the wheels in the blonde's head turning.

"If Sirius wasn't the Secret Keeper, he would have known it wasn't him, therefore, it could only be Peter or Remus," Buffy said slowly. "Peter must have known Sirius would know it was him, therefore, he went after Sirius and accused him in front of witnesses! Everyone thought he did it anyway, and so Peter was confirming the belief, and making sure his name was clear!" Buffy finished quickly.

"Therefore?" Xander asked. "You used therefore? This isn't English class!"

"Sorry, it just slipped out," Buffy said sheepishly.

"But Peter's dead," Giles said, steering the conversation back on topic. "Sirius must have killed him, because he knew Peter betrayed them."

"Maybe," Buffy said slowly. "Sirius does have a bad temper. But I don't think he would kill innocent people. And I doubt that he would kill Peter in front of so many people. Especially muggles. He might be rash, but he's not stupid. He might as well have walked up to the Dementors themselves and said 'kiss me'."

"Kiss me?" Anya asked confused. "Why would he say that?"

"Dementors are these creepy demon type thingies . . ."

"Thingies, much better word," Xander interrupted.

"When they're around, all your happiness gets sucked away and you're left reliving your worst memories. A kiss is when they suck your soul out of your mouth. You can still live, but not really," Buffy explained. "Although you don't become evil, like vampires."

"I would assume that's because when you're a vampire, you have a demon inhabiting your body," Giles suggested.

"That sucks," Anya said.

"In more ways than one," Xander joked.

"Maybe Peter killed himself and the other people, thinking that Sirius would get all the blame," Willow suggested suddenly.

"Magic is not always easy to track," Anya said. "It would be fairly simple to trick people into believing that someone else cast a spell."

"I don't see why Peter would kill himself, though," Buffy said thoughtfully.

"Maybe he couldn't stand the guilt?" Xander suggested.

"Maybe he didn't really die," Buffy said, her eyes lighting up. "He could have faked his death!"

"I suppose it's possible," Giles said reluctantly.

"What do you mean, possible?" Buffy asked. "It happened to me! And I came back from the dead! Twice!"

"But they found a finger," Giles said.

"It's not that hard to cut off a finger, Giles," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

"Now that doesn't make much sense," Anya said. "I've killed lots of people, and in many different ways. I've even blown a few of them up, but I've never only been left with a finger. If there was a finger then there must have been something else too, or if there was nothing else, there wouldn't be a finger. It doesn't add up."

Buffy shot a look at Xander, daring him to comment. He didn't.

"So, he cut off his finger and used it as evidence of his own death, which he faked, and killed a street full of people, and somehow made it all seem like Sirius did it, even in front of witnesses," Willow said.

"That seems a little far-fetched," Giles said.

"Giles, please. We lived on a Hellmouth for many years, and we've seen things way worse, and much stranger, than this. Why are you so reluctant to believe that Sirius is innocent?" Buffy asked.

"The truth is, I don't want you to get your hopes up. It is possible that Sirius was the traitor, and if that is the case, you would be devastated."

"You're right," Buffy said. "But he's not. Peter was the traitor, I know it."

"What about Remus?" Giles asked. "How come he didn't defend Sirius at all? I'm sure that if they really were best friends, Remus wouldn't let Sirius go to prison for something Peter did."

"I don't know," Buffy said truthfully. "I don't even understand why they made Peter the Secret Keeper."

"Unless they thought Remus was the traitor!" Willow said in a moment of insight.
"What?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Well, if they thought Remus was the traitor, they would have told him that Sirius was the Secret Keeper, and then actually made Peter it. Then, when Peter turned out to be the traitor, Remus thought that it was Sirius who was the traitor," Willow said, excited about her theory.

"That makes sense, but why would they think he's the traitor?"

"He's a werewolf, right?" Anya asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Willow asked, defending her first love against the ex-demon who never really got to know him.

"It's just, werewolves are considered to be dark creatures. If they knew someone in their inner circle was a traitor, they would probably think it would be the dark creature, who decided to join forces with the dark wizard," Anya said.

"Poor Remus," Buffy said quietly.

"Wait a minute," Xander said. "The vampire said that Sirius escaped from Azkaban, and that he went after Harry. Why would he want to kill Harry if he wasn't the traitor?"

"I don't know," Buffy said with a frown. "Maybe he didn't really want to kill him. It could have been a big misunderstanding."

"Apparently, as he's still considered to be a murderer," Anya said.

"How are we going to prove that Sirius is innocent? Everyone thinks he's guilty," Willow said.

"Well, we're going to have to find him. And Peter," Buffy added with a scowl. "And Remus. We're gonna need his help."

"That might take some time. If you had something of theirs, I could do a locator spell, but they could be anywhere," Willow said. "I guess Remus would be easy enough to find, but maybe not."

"Right. He's a werewolf, and everyone probably knows. He might not even be around here anymore," Buffy said.

"Assuming he's alive still," Giles interrupted softly. As everyone turned their questioning gazes on Giles, he explained. "Werewolves don't have the longest life spans. Changing forms is painful and it takes its toll on one's body. It would take great mental strength and personal stamina to continue on after so many years. It is extremely exhausting."

"How come you never told us this before?" Willow asked, upset for Oz. She might not be with him at the moment, and probably won't ever see him again, but he was her first love, and a part of her heart still belonged to him.

"I didn't want to worry you," Giles said. "I told Oz everything I knew. If he didn't feel the need to tell you, then I suppose he didn't want to worry you either."

"Well, I can hope that Remus is still alive," Buffy said. "He never was one to give up." Everyone was quiet for a moment, until Willow broke the uncomfortable silence.

"So, you have a nephew. And his name is Harry," Willow said, trying to turn the subject to happier areas.

"Apparently. And he goes to Hogwarts," Buffy said. "At least now I know where to find him, not that it would have been too hard. I mean, what are the chances that he didn't go to Hogwarts?"

"So do you want to go see him?" Willow asked.

Buffy thought about it for a minute. On the one had, she really wanted to see her nephew. He was her only family left. She guessed he would probably be ecstatic to see her as well, but that would mean telling him who she was, and she didn't want to expose herself yet.

"No, not yet," Buffy said, much to the surprise of the Scoobies. "There's somewhere else I want to go first."

"Where's that?" Willow asked curiously.

"The Ministry of Magic," Buffy said. "It could be a useful trip for several reasons. One, I can find Fudge. Two, I can possibly find out where Remus lives. Three, I can hurt Fudge. Four, I can find out all I can about Sirius, seeing as how he's a wanted escaped criminal. Five, I can possible use Fudge in some way to better my own situation and destroy his. Six, I can get up to date with all the happenings with Voldemort. And seven, I can do something else to Fudge."

"Sounds good to me," Xander said, clasping his hands, and rubbing them together. "So where is this Ministry of Magic?"

"I guess we can floo there," Buffy said. "I'm not sure how to get there the muggle way, but I do remember there are floo ports. I used to go to work with my parents when I was younger."

"Floo?" Willow asked.

"Bless you." Xander said.

"It's a wizarding way of travel. You're just gonna have to trust me," Buffy said with a small smirk. "First, we're going to need to get back to the Leaky Cauldron. We can use it's floo port."

"How are we going to get back there?" Anya asked. "The cab left a long time ago, and it's not like we're anywhere near, well, anything."

Buffy looked around herself thinking. The Phoenix, long since gone from Xander's shoulder, gave a little trill. Startled, Buffy turned to look at the headstone where she stood. "I guess we can catch a ride from her," Buffy suggested. "I really need a name for you," she told the bright red fire bird. "Have any suggestions?"

The phoenix shook her head, but she flew off the headstone and hovered in the air above their heads, offering them all her tail feathers.

"You're going to have to take us to a dark alley," Buffy said. "I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to be seen just yet." The bird gave a little trill in understanding.

"Anya, you're probably going to want to let your owl go. She'll find you once we're settled. You don't want her to go through all this travelling, and it's not very discrete."

Anya reluctantly opened the cage and let her snowy owl fly out, after much grumbling. It stretched its wings gratefully, then flew off to find something to eat. "Make sure you come back!" Anya called after it, already attached to her pet.

Buffy then took out her wand and thought for a minute before finally coming up with the right spell. She took a deep breath and muttered the incantation, watching as she shrunk the cage and all the packages they were carrying. "Yay, I can still do magic!" she said relieved.

"You couldn't have done that before?" Xander grumbled.

Buffy just shrugged and grabbed on to a red tail feather; everyone else did the same. "Okay," Buffy said, and they disappeared from the cemetery with a small pop.

They reappeared moments later in an alley beside the Leaky Cauldron. No one had noticed their sudden appearance. "Thanks," Buffy said quietly to the bird. She rubbed her hand down the feathery head and neck and the bird happily leaned into her touch, before disappearing again.

"That was cool," Xander said. "No need to drive when you can just pop up anywhere you want to."

"Most wizards can apparate, which is pretty much what we just did, only you have to do it by yourself," Buffy said. "Although you have to get a license because you might do it incorrectly and end up splinched."

"Say what?" Xander asked.

"Being splinched is when half of your body gets stuck where you started, and the other half where you wanted to go. And it doesn't even have to be half of you. It could just be an arm, or a leg. Or an arm and a leg. Or you could accidentally land on top of someone and kind of melt into each other..."

"That's enough of those scary mental pictures," Xander interrupted her ramble.

"Sorry," Buffy said. "But I'm fairly certain that can't happen when she carries us," Buffy said, referring to her phoenix.

"So what are the side effects of floo travel?" Willow asked.

"Don't tell me, I don't want to know," Xander said.

"I don't really think there are any," Buffy said, thinking. "I think the worst thing that could happen is that you come out the wrong gate. Or, you could wait too long and catch on fire."

"Fire? Why is there fire?" Xander asked.

"Floo travel is travelling by fireplace," Buffy explained. "You take floo powder, a magical substance, and throw it into a fire, making the flames turn green and tickly, not red and burny. Then you step into the now green, safe fire, and say the name of the place you want to go. It's really safe."

"You want us to step into fire?" Willow asked.

"Yes."

"You're asking a lot out of us, you know that right?" Xander said.

"Yes."

"Just so we're clear," Xander said with a nod.

They all walked into The Leaky Cauldron and walked quickly through the now packed pub. It was a Friday night, after all. The five made their way over to the fireplace used for floo travel. It was less crowded over here, as there needed to be room for people to be coming and going.

Buffy took the floo powder from the little jar on the mantle and showed her friends what to do. "Just do what I do, okay?" Buffy said. At their nods she continued. She took a pinch of the powder, threw it in the fireplace, and watched as the flames turned green.

Quickly, she stepped into the flames and clearly said her destination.

"The Ministry of Magic."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 10: THE MINISTRY

Willow, Giles, Anya, and Xander all stood by the fireplace in the Leaky Cauldron, shocked by what they had just witnessed.

"Okay, tell me that wasn't freaky," Xander said, the image of Buffy being enveloped by flames, burned into his memory.

"That's much too reminiscent of that time our parents tried to burn us at the stake," Willow said with wide eyes.

"Well, who's next?" Anya said cheerfully. "Xander? You're the brave, strong man here, I think you need to go." Anya patted his arm and pushed him towards the fireplace, much to his dismay.

"What about me?" Giles asked indignantly.

"You're old and weak," Anya said bluntly.

"I beg your pardon?" Giles said, whipping off his glasses and pointing them at the sandy blonde. "I'll have you know that I am in just as good of shape as I was ten, twenty years ago. Not that traveling by this floo method has anything to do with shape or age."

"You tell her Giles," Xander said. "Even better, you should show her. March right up to that fireplace and give it a whirl." Willow nodded her head emphatically in agreement.

"You're bloody right I will," Giles said, replacing his glasses and marching up to the fireplace. He took a pinch of the floo powder before he realized that he'd been tricked. "Oh bugger..."

"Go on, Giles," Willow encouraged.

Giles sighed and threw the powder into the fire, knowing he had no choice. He watched the flames turn green before he took a deep breath and stepped into the smoky area. "The Ministry of Magic!" he yelled, and then, like Buffy, was gone in a surge of flames.

Xander turned to Willow expectantly.

"Don't look at me!" she squeaked, and he stepped up to take his turn.

Back at the Ministry of Magic, Buffy waited, rather impatiently, for her friends to arrive. Surprisingly enough, Giles was the first one to land in a heap at her feet.

"Fun trip?" Buffy asked, helping him to his feet.

"Delightful," Giles said sarcastically, fixing the glasses that had rearranged themselves and dusting the soot off his robes.

Soon enough, Xander, Willow and Anya arrived through the fireplace, all coughing, grumbling, covered with soot, and sprawled on the floor.

"You get used to it," Buffy said, looking at her scowling friends. "The first time's always a bit weird."

"You mean we have to do that again?" Willow exclaimed.

"How else are we going to get out of here?" Buffy asked her.

"This day just keeps getting better and better," Xander grumbled, unaware of how Buffy's eyes clouded over briefly.

She tried to push all her pain to the side. She had to be strong. She had things to do; Sirius was depending on her, and she wouldn't, couldn't, let him down. There would be time later to grieve. For now, she had an escaped convict to save.

"Come on," Buffy said, leading the group down a very long hall with a highly polished dark wooden floor and peacock-blue ceiling.

Everyone was entranced by the place, including Buffy, who hadn't been here for over a decade and barely remembered it. Golden symbols continually moved and changed along the ceiling, and the walls were panelled with a dark, shiny wood with several gilded fireplaces protruding slightly. The arrivals came from the left wall while the wizards departing left on the right wall. The corridor wasn't very crowded because the workday had yet to be over. Amazingly enough, it wasn't even six yet.

Half-way down the hall sat a fountain with larger than life golden statues sitting in the middle of the circular pool. The wizard, as the tallest figure, stood with his wand pointed straight up. A witch, centaur, goblin and house-elf surrounded the wizard, while the magical creatures looked up adoringly at the wizard and witch. Jets of water were flying from the two wands, the tip of the centaur's arrow, the point of the goblin's hat, and from each of the pointed ears of the house-elf. The water sparkled slightly in the light, producing an enchanting scene, as the water pattered gently back into the water.

There were golden gates at the far end of the hall, which the gang steadily walked toward. Behind a desk on the left sat a bored-looking, badly shaven wizard in peacock-blue robes. When Buffy and the rest tried to pass through the gates, he stood up and walked out of the little hut.

"Excuse me," the guard said, indicating the blonde at the head of the group. "All visitors must check in here," he said, pointing to the hut and a sign that read "SECURITY."

"Oh, sorry. My mistake," Buffy said, trying to be apologetic. She had wanted to go unnoticed, but she should have known it would have been useless. She walked over to the small hut while the guard entered the building and sat heavily in his chair.

"Wand?" he asked tiredly.

Buffy hesitated a moment before handing over her most valued piece of wood. Mr. Pointy came in a very close second.

The guard dropped it onto a strange brass instrument, resembling a set of scales with only one dish. Much to everyone's surprise, except the guard's, the wand begins to vibrate. A narrow slip of parchment came speeding out of a slit in the base. The guard tore it off and read the writing on it.

"Ten inches, phoenix-feather core. Been in use for half an hour?" The man asked, surprised at what the little paper said. The wand had been dormant for over a decade and the last spell, which coincidentally also counted as the first spell, Buffy performed was less than an hour ago.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "I broke my last wand, sat on it by accident. Cause a whole lot of trouble, I must say," she said, rubbing her butt. "I just went down to Olivander's to get a new one." Buffy didn't want to give away the real reason her wand hadn't been active in over a decade.

The man handed her wand over to Buffy, who gratefully took it from him. He chuckled slightly at Buffy's statement and said, "Don't ever let Moody hear you say that. He's always ranting and raving when somebody places their wand in their back pocket."

"Moody?" Buffy asked sharply, surprised at the name. "Alastor Moody?"

"Is there any other?"

"Is he here?" Buffy asked, wondering if he would be able to find the person who saved her life, and tore her away from her family.

"Nope. He's been retired for a while now," the guard said, looking at Buffy a little suspiciously.

"Of course," Buffy said, noticing the change in the guard's features. "The way you talked sounded like he was here today. Visiting or something. It sure would be nice to see Alastor again. It's been a long time since I've seen him last."

"Well, I'd give you his address if I had it, but he doesn't make it well known. He's too paranoid," the guard said sadly, with a shake of his head.

"Right, well, thanks anyway," Buffy said, confused as to why he'd be paranoid.

"Whoa! What about the others?" the guard asked, before Buffy could walk too far away.

"We don't have wands," Willow said. "We left them at home."

"You left your wands at home?" the guard asked, once again getting suspicious.

"She means that they've lost a bet," Buffy covered quickly. "And now they have to live as muggles for a week. It's only day three, so we try not to talk about it much," Buffy said in a mock whisper. "It's a lot harder than anyone would think."

The guard nodded in understanding. He didn't know what he'd do without his wand for a week. It'd be awful. "Well, good luck with that," the guard said. "It must take some willpower. I guess if you've grown up as a muggle, it shouldn't be too hard, but I've lived around magic my whole life. I don't know if I'd be able to make it."

"Yes, it's terrible," Giles said, unconvincingly with a shake of his head. "I have no idea how I'll live four more days."

"Well, we'd better get going. We have a meeting with the Minister. Don't want to be late for that," Buffy said.

"No, you sure don't," the guard said. "Let me get you some passes. Names?" As the group looked at each other nervously, the guard slid the piece of parchment with Buffy's wand information on a small brass spike.

Buffy stepped forward and gave the guard her best smile. "So this is what you do all day? It must be dull, handing out passes and checking wands..."

"Yeah, but it's work," the man said, looking up to stare into Buffy's sparkling green eyes. His throat went dry suddenly as he realized just how beautiful she was, with her golden hair flowing down her back. "Ummm..." he trailed off, and cleared his throat.

Buffy looked into the man's brown eyes and said softly, "We don't need passes."

To the other Scoobies amazement, the guard seemed to fall into some kind of trance. "You don't need passes," he repeated.

"And I'd really like that paper," Buffy said, smiling as he reached out and extracted her wand information from the small stack on the spike.

"Here you go," the brown haired man said, handing over the slip of parchment.

"Thanks," Buffy said. "And just forget that you ever saw us, okay?"

"Never saw you."

Buffy turned around and noticed her friends' shocked expressions. She nodded them forward, away from the guard, who continued to look after Buffy, dazed.

Once they were through the gates, and into a smaller hall beyond, Buffy finally asked, "What?"

"Did you just use magic on him?" Willow asked. "I didn't even see you use your wand."

Buffy frowned slightly as she thought back to what she just did. "I don't think I did. I mean, I guess I could have, but I didn't do it consciously."

"Maybe you have the power of persuasion," Anya said. "I've known quite a few people that have mastered that skill. You don't even have to have a wand to use it. They always got what they wanted," Anya pouted, thinking back to earlier times.

"That sure would explain a lot," Giles said, also thinking back to earlier times, although not quite as early as Anya. "I did let you get away with quite a bit."

"Then how come I couldn't charm my way out of Snyder's office? That would have come in handy."

"I doubt it was from lack of trying," Giles said affectionately.

"I think he was immune from everything,' Willow said.

"Stupid troll," Buffy grumbled.

"So Buff has the power of persuasion," Xander said. "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know," Buffy said, thinking about what she could do. "I mean, there is an Imperious Curse that is a no-no in the wizarding world, but that controls other people. I'm merely persuading them, so I should be okay, right?"

"Depending on what you persuade them to do," Giles said. "Although, there is a degree of control on your part, and a loss of freedom on their part..."

"Well, I'll just have to use my power for good."

"Fighting for justice, and the sake of mankind," Xander remarked.

"That's our Buffy," Willow said with a smile.

"Speaking of which, you can't call me that anymore," she said. "I'm... Who am I again?"

There was silence for a moment, while each person was lost in his or her own thoughts. A list of names could be heard escaping the lips of various people as they scrambled to find the correct identity.

"S... S.... Sally, no, Sabrina, no, Sarah!" Buffy exclaimed. "Sarah Fox."

"Sarah, of course. Now where are we headed, Sarah?" Giles asked, indicating the many different lifts that were situated in front of them.

"Up. We're headed up," Buffy said certainly, as she stepped forward into a rather large lift. Everyone squeezed inside and Buffy looked at the buttons curiously before deciding upon one. "He's the big boss, right? So, he'd probably get his top floor."

The doors closed and the elevator began rising. A lady's soothing voice announced, "Level One: The Minister of Magic." The doors opened and the group stepped out.

They were in another hallway, this time with windows letting brilliant amounts of light in.

"I thought it was night outside," Xander said.

Buffy looked confused for a moment, "I was. It must be magic, to keep this place cheerful."

At the end of the corridor, which was painted a deep blue, sat a shiny wooden door with a brass nameplate reading "Cornelius Fudge."

Buffy walked forward and then halted in her tracks. She turned back around and looked at her friends. "Could you wait here for a moment? This is something I need to do alone."

Her friends hesitantly nodded. "Just don't do anything I wouldn't do," Xander said.

"Try to behave rashly, please," Giles said.

"Just don't kill him," Anya stated bluntly. "Anything else and I don't really care. But we don't need a psycho slayer on our hands."

"I'll try to keep my temper in check," Buffy said.

"Deep breaths. Violence doesn't solve anything," Willow said. "Well, it doesn't solve everything," she corrected at Buffy's disbelieving glance.

Buffy nodded, took another deep calming breath and headed down the hallway again.

She reached the door and was about to knock when she heard voices coming from the room. With her enhanced Slayer hearing, she could hear most of the conversation.

It was about Hogwarts.

It was about Harry. Her nephew.

"The boy has a nasty temper," an old lady's voice was saying. "Had to put him in his place a few times, but he still persists in defying me."

"Well, don't let that stop you. We can't have him spreading his lies around," the voice Buffy recognized as Fudge's said.

"He is quite the liar, and he's very stubborn. It's going to take a lot to break his nasty habit."

"Do what you must," Fudge said. "Harry Potter's been in a thorn in my side for too long. Making up unbelievable tales every year, getting away with everything. It's all Dumbledore's influence, too. Don't think he's acting alone. That meddlesome old fool will ruin everything I've built up. He's using his power and Potter's influence. Something must be done."

"Potter's too clean though," the woman's croaky voice returned. "I just know he's up to something, breaking rules of some kind, but I can never catch him. And I have reason to believe that he's in contact with Black."

Buffy's heart leaped up at the mention of Sirius, wondering if Harry knew where he was.

"Don't be ridiculous," Fudge said. "The man tried to kill him two years ago, I doubt they're pen pals."

The woman cleared her throat, making a decidedly unpleasant noise in the process. "The school is decidedly unkempt," she said, changing topics. "It needs more structure, more rules."

Buffy could almost hear a smile in Fudge's next words: "Then take the appropriate measures. I'll sign any new school rules that you believe are appropriate and in the school's best interest."

"Of course. Thank you, minister."

"I'll expect an update again next week," Fudge said. "Thank you, Dolores."

Buffy could hear a small whoosh, and she assumed the woman named Dolores had flooed from his office.

So, Fudge was making changes at Hogwarts. Apparently he didn't like Dumbledore and was making Harry's life hell. A plan began to form in Buffy's mind. But first she needed more information.

It was now or never.

She raised her hand and knocked on the door.