Author: soexasperating
Rating: I probably won't get all hot and heavy with this fic so I'm gonna say PG-13 for language.
Summary:Draco and Harry are seasoned dimensional hitchhikers via a curse gone wrong and Remus Lupin is the unfortunate recipiant of their tale as the most recent innocent bystander. Mild slash, random snark, and forbidden references to the traumatizing crumpet universe.
Chapter One: When Guests Come Calling
Sometimes being a moon-controlled creature of the night had some incredibly awesome perks (not that he'd admit it to anyone under pain of torture and a poodle cut) and it was truly unfortunate that this was not one of those such nights for the werewolf in question.
Remus Lupin, so fresh from his sixth year at Hogwarts that he still smelled like the house elves' cooking, was just enjoying the sight of the new moon and the break from classes when the air itself exploded into riotous color, knocking him on his back with the force. Somewhat stunned, he decided to wait and see if whatever it was was finished before regaining any of his previous verticalness.
Needless to say, he thought he might have a concussion when he heard an even toned voice address him between blinking back the after images of the occurance.
"Sorry bout that, you wouldn't happen to know where and when we are, would you?" Eyes slowly focusing, he could just make out two figures, one as light haired as the other was dark, leaning over him casually.
"Urg, it's June thirtieth nineteen eighty one and you're in my backyard."
"And you are..."
"Remus Lupin, "He paused, vaguely noting this may all be a result of a concussion, "I think."
The brunette, who he could now see had Jamesesque glasses and startling green eyes frowned. "Well, at least it's not that freakish crumpet dimension this time."
His counterpart visibley winced, "I thought we were never going to talk about that place again. Ever."
GreenEyes shrugged, "Oops?"
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"Um, I've got to say that you guys are taking this very calmly,"Remus ventured tentatively as the two strangers who had only recently appeared out of nowhere hustled around the kitchen.
The blond, Draco?, shrugged and continued shifting through the contents of the werewolf's fridge. "Honestly, the whole dimension hopping thing gets kind of old. This is, what, the 6th jump?"
His companion, Harry, paused in his sandwich making to count silently, "Seventh, I think. Can you get me the mustard?"
A pale arm appeared over the refridgerator door and tossed the yellow plastic container without looking which the other boy caught unthinkingly, "Thanks. After awhile it just kind of makes you hungry. Oh, do you want one?"
Draco grinned at the older man's flabbergasted expression, "He makes a BLT to kill for."
Remus decided it was the wiser course of valor to just shake his head negatively than to chance choking during what was sure to be a fascinating if surreal encounter.
"Gods, that reminds me of when we got dropped right in the middle of Riddle's Valedvictorian speech. Was it really necessary to shoot him, by the way? He might have turned out good in that world, "Harry added, plopping down at the table with two full plates.
Draco followed his example and took a large bite before answering, "I wasn't shooting him for being a Pre-Voldemort; I was shooting him for that bloody awful speech."
Remus, now fully aware of how out of his depth he was with these two insane teenaged travelors, cleared his throat and tried not to burst into hysterical giggles. "Maybe you could start with how you ended up, um, jumping /here/."
The two shared a look before the brunette spoke, "It's kind of long story but it all began our sixth year at Hogwarts..."