Disclaimer—See Chapter One
A/N: Sorry for the delay on this chapter! Thank you so much for those still with me! I can't believe there's only one chapter left! Thank you Mayra, Meg, Jessica, Blackpanther, CatJerica, Fiery Feral, Rain, PoisonousBlaze, Trex Kitten (Welcome!), Mfkngst. I am so glad you liked the outcome of the plot, I was afraid it would be too anti-climatic. This chapter should answer the last of your questions (I hope) and then the final chapter will be more of an epilogue for the series. So here you go, I hope you enjoy the chapter! Thank you!
All Things—Chapter Sixteen
Brennan was mad. One moment Shalimar had been in his arms, the next she had jumped to her feet, stalking down the hallway, shouting something over her shoulder about someone outside.
He blinked, too shocked at first to respond, as his mind whirled desperately, trying to catch up with all that had happened in the last few minutes. Had she really just been in his arms? He pushed up to his feet, ignoring the stabbing pain that his body sent shooting to his brain in protest as he again forced limbs into movement.
"Shalimar!"
She barely spared him a glance as he ran up next to her.
"Shalimar, what are you doing?"
"Making sure this ends tonight." She turned toward the garage.
His stomach dropped as he noticed her hand rub her temple. "Shal, listen to me. I know you're feeling…better, but you're still sick. We finally figured it out, and we need to get you back to the lab."
She glanced at him, but didn't stop. "You guys can play doctor on me all you want, but there's something I have to do first." She wrenched open the inner door that led to the garage.
Outside. Brennan grabbed her arm. "Shal, no."
She finally stopped, eyes softening as she looked up at him. "It's ok. I know what I'm doing."
"What are you doing?" He cupped the back of her neck, searching her eyes, shoulders losing some of their tension when he saw the warmth looking back at him.
"There's someone outside."
His shoulders tensed again as his other hand rose up and he linked his fingers together behind her neck. His eyes stared down at her sadly. "There's no one out there, you're still confused."
She straightened up, hands resting on his forearms. "I can't explain it, but I can sense him, Brennan."
"Steven's dead, Shalimar. He's not here."
She winced slightly at the name, eyes dropping. "I know that, now." Her eyes swept back up in determination. "But someone else is, I have to end this once and for all."
She pulled out of his grasp, not stopping when he called after her again, pausing to pluck her coat off its hook.
"Shal, no!" Brennan ran up to her again, clamping his hand on her shoulder. "I'm not letting you go out there, you need help."
She sighed, not turning around. "I'm sorry, Brennan."
"What for?"
She whirled around, sweeping his feet out from under him. "For that." She stood over him for just a brief moment, and then she disappeared out the door.
Brennan swore, fist banging the floor in frustration. "Jesse!" He hollered into his comlink. "You better get out here!" He closed his eyes, taking a breath, climbing to his feet yet again.
He straightened up in surprise when she suddenly came walking outside. Finally. He was getting bored waiting. He lifted his camera, pressing the cold metal casing against his eye, and started to focus the lens, stopping with a startled exclamation when their eyes met from across the distance. She was headed right toward him. He slowly lowered the camera down from his eye, a small squeak escaping his nervous lips as she stalked closer. As the camera bag fell with a soft whoosh into the snow, he turned and ran.
"Hurry up, Jesse." Brennan spoke impatiently, not even noticing that the other man was actually already a step ahead of him and that he was the one lagging behind.
Jesse shook his head, keeping quiet as he knew all too well that Brennan was racked with worry and guilt. He felt the same way. He pressed his lips together as his fingers tightened around the tranquilizer gun in his hand. He should have used it when he had the chance, then Shalimar wouldn't be running loose outside again. It was such a simple answer; he couldn't believe they had missed it for so long. Such a simple answer, and with a simple solution. At least he knew how to treat it, he comforted himself with the knowledge, anxious to find Shalimar and get back to Lexa. He had left her in the lab; she must be furious with him by now. He swallowed at the thought.
Thunder rumbled in the distance and both men paused, eyes lifting to the gray sky with anger. As if the snow and sleet wasn't enough, now there was a storm coming. Brennan grunted, pushing forward again. They hit the tree line, unsure which way to go next, when Brennan's hand suddenly clamped onto Jesse's arm with shock.
"Jess."
Jesse's eyes lifted at Brennan's dry whisper and followed his pointed finger, stumbling with surprise at the sight before them.
Shalimar was staggering out of the dark forest, almost hidden by the shadows save for her bright red mittens. She looked tired, but her eyes were set with fierce determination. She had her arm hooked around the neck of a protesting man. Brennan's mouth gaped open.
He was real.
There had been someone out here after all.
Anger coursed through his veins, and he narrowed his eyes, strolling forward and meeting them.
"Allow me." Jesse's hand on his arm stopped Brennan as his fist reflexively tightened. Brennan relaxed his arm, watching as Shalimar released her hold on the man as Jesse stepped up to him. Jesse's eyes darted down, noticing a camera clutched in the man's trembling fingers. He frowned, lifting his eyes again. He stared at the man a brief moment, and then he punched him.
The man fell cold.
Brennan grunted in satisfaction.
"That felt good." Jesse rubbed his fist absently as he stared at the fallen man.
"How much you want to bet he's Dominion?" Brennan reached down and tore the camera out of the man's limp fingers.
"Yeah." Jesse snorted sarcastically, bending down and hefting the man over his shoulder. "Let's take this little souvenir back with us, see what we can find out."
Brennan stared at Shalimar, faintly noticing Jesse as he walked away from them. She hadn't said a word, and he fell silent as she stared back at him.
Now is it finally over?
It's over.
He staggered toward her with an energy he didn't even know he had.
She met him halfway.
The throbbing of her head forced her to shut her eyes a moment as pain flashed down her cheek and through her jaw. She heard him whisper her name, and then he had her. They swayed as one, their arms locked. His breath came in gulps, painful and searing, and he could feel her warmth against him. The hood of her coat fell and he buried his nose into the coolness of her hair. She clung to him, pulling him close. He held her, kissed her, touched his lips to her eyes. She had come back to him. He stared a moment, lost in their oneness, and then he suddenly let go, eyes flashing.
"That was foolish, Shalimar!"
"What?" She stared back at him calmly. "I found him, didn't I?"
"You're still sick, you could have been hurt!"
She crossed her arms. "But I didn't, I'm fine."
He raked a hand through his hair, eyes showing his frustration. "You scared me to death."
Her eyes softened slightly. "I'm sorry, Brennan, I really am." She placed her hand on his arm. "But I had to do this."
He frowned, hand cupping her cheek. "I don't understand you sometimes, you know that?"
"I know." She smiled. "Let's go back inside where it's warm, you can yell at me all you want then."
He huffed, breath fogging out in the damp air, glancing up at the sky as thunder rumbled, closer this time. "Yeah." He offered her his hand, and she took it as together, they turned and walked back home.
Hours passed in a blur for Jesse as he restrained the man in a temporary force field, having more important matters to deal with first. After consulting with Dr. Marcus, he worked on Lexa, then Shalimar, Brennan hovering over his shoulder. Antipsychotic medication. Such a simple thing, but amazing differences it made as slowly, as time passed, Lexa stopped struggling and finally lay still. Jesse glanced over to where Brennan was laying in one of the med beds, holding Shalimar in his arms. They were all exhausted. He pulled a chair up, settling in next to Lexa.
"Hey." He ran a hand through her damp hair as she turned her head toward the sound of his voice.
"Hey." Her lips curved into a tired smile as she focused her eyes on his face. "You look like hell."
"Thanks." He chortled softly at her words, bending down and giving her a gentle kiss. "How are you feeling?"
"Like you look." She winced as she laughed, eyes falling shut. "What happened?"
"You mean before or after you were infected by the serum or had delusional paranoia from the anti-serum?"
Her brows rose at his words, eyes rolling. "It's always something, isn't it?"
He smiled, fingers resting in her hair. "What do you remember?"
She was quiet for a moment, thinking. Her brows creased. "Everything." She clutched Jesse's hand as his fingers closed around hers. "Jesse, I was so confused, I went from wanting to hide the serum so I could protect you, to becoming obsessed with it and wanting to—to kill Shalimar because she was getting too close to learning about it, to thinking that all of you were out to get me, and that I couldn't trust you."
"I'm sorry." He shook his head.
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "In my mind, I had no one. I was all alone."
"You have me."
Her eyes fell closed as his thumbs brushed over them, wiping away a tear. "I was told the same thing by Eckhart, and look how that turned out."
"We're not like that, Lexa."
"I know that," Her lips quirked. "Now."
Jesse smiled back, bending down and pressing a kiss to her brow and then resting his head on her chest. Silence fell back over them as her fingers tangled in his short hair.
The evening shadows brought on the thunderstorm full force. Even through layers of rock, Brennan could hear echoes of the storm, could sense the electricity as it crackled in the air. It was keeping him awake. He groaned, flopping back to his stomach in another attempt to find a comfortable sleeping position. It felt like it had been hours since he had lain down, eyes so tired they burned, but he couldn't get his body to relax enough for sleep. His mind kept replaying the day over and over, his frustration and anger stirring anew when he thought of the risks and the possibilities. Shalimar and Lexa had been treated, and Jesse had insisted Shalimar stay in the lab. After noticing the look on Brennan's face, she had finally agreed. He was upset. He knew it was irrational, that he should be feeling relief, and he was, but he also couldn't stop the feelings of anger and resentment. She had been so foolish, taking him down just so she could follow her instincts and run around outside yet again. It didn't matter that she had been right; it mattered that she hadn't trusted him enough to include him. Trust. He crankily moaned, rolling to his side and shoving a pillow over his head. It always seemed to come back to that word lately. Between their cases and the touchy subject of those undercover kisses, and the trials they had to endure on the island and now even here at home, it was a wonder they had survived at all. It was stubbornness, pure stubborn refusal on both their parts to never let go. He was a lucky man. So why am I so mad? He gritted his teeth, turning to his other side as thunder rumbled lowly in the distance. He felt like he was having a delayed reaction to everything that had happened in the past few days; now that the immediate danger was past, he was allowing himself to feel what he dared not before. Frustration, anger…fear. He didn't like the feeling of being out of control. He stiffened as the bed suddenly dipped, and two small arms wrapped around him. Her scent hit him a moment later, and he shivered despite himself as she pressed her body against his rigid back. He turned, hand resting on her hip as she tangled their legs together, bringing a quick smile to his lips as she pressed cold feet against his calves. It faded when he felt the rough and tattered skin; her feet had to be hurting her. She shared his pillow, and they lay facing each other, silent, for long moments. Thunder sounded again, and he felt the slight shudder that ran through her as she ducked her head, pressing her nose into his shoulder. She hated storms.
"Hey, hey," His hand rose up to cup the back of her head, pulling her closer. "It's ok, I'm right here."
"You're upset."
His anger melted away at her small voice. "No I'm not."
"Yeah you are."
"Un-huh."
"Uh-huh."
He sighed in exasperation. "Ok, I am, but not really." He tightened his hold on her. "I'm just…feeling things."
Her finger traced an invisible line around his chest. "I understand, Brennan. Better than you think. You're not the only one who's feeling used right now."
He pulled back slightly in surprise, meeting her eyes. She always knew. He shook his head slightly. "You're right, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," She laid her head back on his chest as his fingers gently twined into her hair. "You did so much for me Brennan, and all I did was hurt you."
"Nah, you could never hurt me."
She lifted her head, smiling as he repeated his words from so long ago. He grinned back, running his fingers over her cheeks, soothing the frost burns and tired lines. "I love you, Shal." His voice was a husky timbre, and she captured his lips, surprising them both with her intensity.
"I love you too." Her whisper stirred him, and he rolled them, claiming her mouth again with gentle urgency as her arms stole around his neck. He kissed her, kissed her so long and so hungrily she could scarcely breathe. She clutched his hair in her fingers, and his arms closed around her, and she felt his passion surging through the muscles.
"You're supposed to be resting," He finally spoke, voice hoarse and pained.
Laughing softly, she kissed his cheek. "So are you."
He chuckled in chagrin. "Yeah." He caught her face between his hands and kissed her eyelids. "You should go back to the lab."
"No." She tightened her hold on his dark hair. "You can just forget that idea right now."
His fingers dug into her back between her shoulder blades. "You always win, don't you?"
"Do you feel like you've lost?"
"Lost control, lost my mind." He flashed her a quick smile, kissing her again, groaning softly.
"You see," She trailed a hand down his back, breath warming his ear. "I can't go back now."
He rested his face in her hair, breathing heavily. "No, not now."
And he kissed her.
Night passed slowly, the storm gradually clearing as hours ticked away. Brennan lay beside Shalimar, too agitated to sleep. Her breath was a warm mist on his arm, and he studied the fall of her eyelashes on her cheek, the curve of her lips. They were slack and slightly parted, just showing the edge of her white teeth. He forked his fingers into her hair as she stirred. Her eyes opened drowsily, and she smiled. He touched her smile, giving her one of his own. Dear God, he loved her. He shifted his position to face her.
She raised herself up onto her elbow. "What are you thinking?"
"That I'm the luckiest man alive."
She shook her head. "You've had so many obstacles, so many hardships, lost so much."
He looked down at her velvety skin, cradling her face in his palm. "If I had nothing but you, I'd still be the luckiest."
She leaned into his touch, kissing him softly. "I'm the lucky one, Brennan, I have you."
He pulled her into a tender hug, setting his chin on top of her head.
"Hey Bren?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you sleep?"
He chuckled. "Not really."
"Me either."
"You were just sleeping a moment ago."
She shrugged. "Not really."
"Come on." He tugged on her fingers, pulling her up with him.
"Where are we going?" She yawned heavily as he dropped a blanket around her shoulders.
"Let's walk."
Her brows rose. "Now?"
"Yeah."
"We can barely move."
They smiled at each other.
"Not very far, let's just get out of here." He held out his hand and she closed her fingers around his, a startled puff of air escaping her as he suddenly picked her up, carrying her down the dim hallway.
"Here, Bren." She tugged on his fingers as they walked by the fireplace. He settled into one of the big chairs, arms automatically circling around Shalimar as she crawled into his lap. They sighed, looked around, and then made eye contact.
One thing missing.
Shalimar stood up, watching as Brennan knelt and lit a fire, climbing back on top of him as soon as he sat back down.
"Much better." He whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple as she curved around his body and tangled their fingers together.
They were silent for a moment, lost in thought.
"You're really ok?" Brennan finally broke the silence.
"Yeah." She sighed quietly.
"Tell me about it."
She shrugged, "You've been through enough already, Brennan."
"Shal," He kissed her hair, wrapped a silky strand around his finger, "Watching you go through all this was...hard. But you lived it. You can't keep that inside."
"It was horrible, Brennan." She closed her eyes. "Seeing my worst fears come to life."
"Your worst fear was that I would kiss Lexa?"
"No." She laughed slightly. "I was afraid my friends weren't really my friends, that the people I trusted had betrayed me."
"I'm sorry." His arms tightened around her.
"When I was a little girl, I trusted my family. I thought they loved me, but they put me in that—that institution." She shook her head. "It was like all the old fears of being trapped, of being hurt came back. I could remember it all, but it somehow twisted with my experiences and with reality until I couldn't tell the difference anymore."
"Steven."
She nodded against his chest. "I was so sure, Brennan. I couldn't believe anything, trust anything. My whole world was crashing around me." She shuddered at the memory, fingers digging into his shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Brennan. I was terrible to you."
"Hey, it's ok, it wasn't you."
She sniffed, shaking her head slightly.
His heart constricted. "Oh baby, I'm sorry you had to go through that." He pulled back, running the backs of his knuckles down her cheeks, kissing the unshed tears from her closed lids. Her lips curved, trembling tumultuously, drinking in his comfort. After a long moment, he dipped his head, catching her gaze. "I want to explain about those undercover kisses, Shal."
She pressed her lips together at the reminder. "You don't have to."
"Yeah I do." He lifted her chin, maintaining eye contact. "They really were just kisses, Shalimar, forced by circumstance."
She nodded slightly. "I know."
"No, Shal." He shook his head, desperate for her to understand. "With Allie, Lexa, I wasn't working just any random case, it was to save people important to me. Cole, and you." He brushed a curl off her temple, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "With Riley," He hesitated, searching for words. "We share a son, even though it wasn't by choice, it felt like we knew each other, shared a connection, like with Becky and Conner or even Samantha."
"Oh." She hated how small her voice sounded.
"But Shal, I didn't choose any of that." His fingers framed her cheek. "But I do choose you, everyday."
Startled, her eyes swept back up to his.
He smiled tenderly. "You and me, we are connected beyond our situations, we are connected by choice. You are in my heart, my mind, my soul." His voice trailed away as she reached up and traced his lips with her fingers, following it a moment later with her own mouth closing gently over his.
Finally she pulled back, smiling into his eyes. "It's ok, Brennan. I do understand." She shushed him, capturing his lips in a soothing kiss.
They eventually relaxed, watching the slow burn of the small fire, content as the first rays of morning light stole over Sanctuary, both startling when there was a sudden lurch against the chair. They looked down, laughing as Chester pounced in the air again, landing with her front paws down in front of her, rear end sticking up in the air in a gesture pleading for attention.
"I love you, Shal." Brennan cupped her neck, pressing a tender kiss to her upturned mouth before pulling away and waving his fingers at Chester. The little dog yapped happily, bounding up between them. Shalimar laughed again, rubbing the dog's back as she butted her head against her arm, settling back against Brennan contentedly. The day had much waiting for them; but it could wait a little longer.
Jesse reluctantly released the stranger from the force field, staring at Lexa in resignation. She shared his look. It went against their better judgment to let the man go, but the Dominion had demanded it of them.
"My camera?" The man held out an impervious hand.
"Don't press your luck." Jesse's voice graveled in disgust.
The man's eyes widened, hand dropping as Lexa approached, grasping his arm and escorting him toward the garage. "If it were up to me, this wouldn't be happening." She spoke conversationally, eyes hard as she turned him toward her as they reached the door. "See that you don't run into us again. Ever." Her lips flattened.
He swallowed, frowning in protest, but scurrying out the door as Jesse pointedly cleared his throat.
Lexa slammed the door in anger, leaning heavily against it, looking up as Brennan and Shalimar entered the room as well, Chester trailing after them.
"He's gone?" Shalimar's eyes were narrowed.
"Yeah." Jesse's eyes roved around the room, meeting each of their gazes. "But I'm still not sure that was the right thing to do."
"He's Dominion," Brennan's hand landed reassuredly on Shalimar's shoulder. "We play their hand for now, but we keep an eye on them."
"Yeah," Jesse snorted. "Like they kept an eye on us."
"At least they admitted to watching us," Lexa's fist banged against the door one last time for good measure before she pushed off it, walking back toward the main area of Sanctuary. "I should have known when they gave us the anti-serum so readily. Nothing with them is ever that easy."
"Watching us like lab rats." Shalimar turned abruptly, following after Lexa, back stiff with anger. "I can just imagine how…excited they were to learn their supposed cure was even better then their original serum."
"A simpler means of control, using someone's fears to their own personal advantage, to accomplish their own goals, but without the mess of permanent dementia like the serum." Jesse shook his head. "Who thinks of these things?"
"Layers and layers, for every project there's another project."
Jesse groaned as Lexa repeated her words from the previous mission. "Yeah, so I've heard." Their eyes met in awareness. What next?
"Well," Lexa forced a lighter tone to her voice. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like celebrating."
"Celebrating?" Shalimar looked at her in disbelief. "We were used again and went through all of this for nothing, and you want to celebrate?"
"Hey, it's ok." Brennan quietly soothed her, hands squeezing her shoulders.
"I don't think it was all for nothing," Jesse mused as he sat down on the couch, the others sitting around him. "The cure was the medium, it caused all the paranoia, but we brought a lot of this upon ourselves as well."
"How?" Brennan wrapped his fingers around Shalimar's as she leaned her head on his shoulder. Chester curled up at their feet, head resting on her paws.
Jesse watched as Lexa disappeared toward the kitchen, waiting until she returned, leaning against the doorway. "We kept secrets."
They looked at each other.
"Secrets that played on hidden fears and almost tore us apart." Shalimar murmured softly, head nodding in understanding.
"The ironic thing is that in the end, our fears were almost the same." Lexa dropped her eyes for a moment. "Betrayal of trust."
"We've had a hard road, with deep battle scars," Shalimar paused, splayed her fingers between Brennan's, feeling their combined strength. "It's more important than ever we stick together."
"So we agree, no more secrets?" Brennan squeezed Shalimar's fingers back, meeting Jesse's eyes.
"No more secrets." Lexa cleared her throat, straightening up in the doorway and pulling a bottle out from behind her back. "And I have just the thing to toast that promise with." She hefted the bottle in her hand, grinning.
Brennan's eyes widened. "Kava! I thought it was all gone."
Her grin widened. "I saved a little." She waved the bottle in the air. "So?"
They glanced at each other, smiling as she pulled her other hand out from behind her back to reveal four glasses.
They poured a little in each glass, sitting back down.
"No more secrets." Jesse lifted his glass into the air as they took a sip.
"Ugh, that's just nasty." Shalimar made a face as she tasted it. "How can you stand this stuff?"
Jesse and Lexa looked at each other.
"It grows on you," Jesse snorted dryly. "Trust me."
An image of a mad grin plastered across his face and her underwear atop his head flashed through Shalimar's mind. She couldn't help it, she started to laugh.
Jesse immediately turned red, knowing exactly what she thinking.
Brennan smirked, lifting his glass. "To family."
"To family."
They clinked their glasses together, silence washing over them for a moment as they took another sip.
A snicker broke the comfortable silence.
"Oh shut up."
Shalimar looked at Jesse's face, his smile belying his words and laughed aloud, shoulders shaking. Jesse protested for only a moment more before joining in, throwing his pillow at Shalimar.
She only laughed harder, nudging Brennan with her shoulder as he caught the pillow and waggled his eyebrows.
"Don't you dare!"
Too late.
The pillow flew back through the air.
"Hey!" Jesse quickly phased, smirking at Brennan as the pillow sailed right through him. "Ha!" He didn't see the second pillow that Shalimar hefted his way or the one that Lexa held poised above his head.
"Hey!" His protesting voice was muffled by thick, downy stuffing. He snatched the pillow from Lexa, making a face at her as she laughed, and then whipping it through the air again.
Electricity crackled through the air, frying the pillow, sending feathers floating down over them. Jesse blew out his breath in disbelief, spitting downy fluff out of his mouth. Chester jumped to her feet, barking excitedly as she pounced on an unsuspecting feather as it landed near her.
Shalimar's shoulders shook with mirth, leaning against Brennan as his arm circled around her waist. She tipped her smiling mouth up to him as he looked down at her, eyes dancing as an unnoticed pillow hit him upside the head. He roared, reaching for another pillow. Occasional feathers drifted down as the fight ensued, mingling with Chester's merry barks and their combined laughter as it rose up through Sanctuary, the sound music after so long. And though they had never really left, they had come all the way back to where they belonged; they were home again.