Title: Xander's Christmas Present
By: evans (aka Roswell428)
Written for the TTH Fic For All 2004 Holiday Challenge
Pairing: Xander Harris and Aphrodite (Xena/ Hercules)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The concept of this fic is a twist on the Greek myth of "Cupid and Psyche" in which Cupid falls in love with a mortal woman.
Cupid and Aphrodite sat in a parked car watching people pass in the street. They were waiting, waiting for a certain heart to walk by. Cupid was telling his mother all about his latest plan to please and surprise his beloved, Psyche. Aphrodite could only roll her eyes in aggravation.
"So then Psyche opened the box, and I could see in her eyes how much she loved it, which I loved, because I love her and—"
Aphrodite jumped in, "Why are we doing this again?"
"You know why, mother. It's because he's been found worthy and he's been alone too long. After his last girlfriend," Cupid said, looking down at the paper on the seat next to him, "Anya broke up with him, he hasn't had other love. It's been decided that a soul with a heart so worthy shouldn't be alone any longer, so we need to make him fall in love." Cupid looked at the picture of the man and then back up to the street. "And I think that's him there now."
"Finally," Aphrodite said, getting out of the car. "That was really boring… So, who are we going to make him fall for?"
"I don't know yet, I haven't seen anyone yet who is worthy of his love."
"What about the two girls walking with him?"
"The blonde and the red head," Cupid asked, looking askance at his mother. At her nod, he said, "Well, the red head's gay and the blonde's the Slayer."
"So?"
"So the Slayer is not meant for him, you know that."
"So what. This is boring; I just want to go surfing or something. I don't like hanging around all these mortals."
"Relax mother."
Aphrodite just rolled her eyes at her son and began to trail after Alexander Harris and the two women with him.
The trio entered a Christmas tree lot, with Cupid and Aphrodite right behind them. Xander went in one direction to look for larger trees, while Buffy and Willow went to look at the smaller ones. Cupid saw this, and then saw a young woman (an employee of the lot) begin to approach Xander.
He looked at her and then turned to his mother, "She's perfect. She has the same big heart as him and they would go well together."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just get it over with."
Cupid pulled out an arrow and notched it to his bow, letting the arrow fly. Just then, Xander knocked one of the trees over and bent to pick it up. The arrow rebounded off of the trunk of the tree behind him and hit Aphrodite square in the chest before she had a chance to move. The man, who before had been just an annoyance of her job, keeping her from having fun, was now her beloved.
"Xander," Aphrodite said dreamily, watching him wave the woman away, telling her he didn't need help just then.
"Oh no," Cupid exclaimed, glancing at his mother worriedly. "Don't worry. There's an antidote, we just have to get it, Mom. Mom? Mom!" He couldn't get her attention. All of her was focused solely on Xander.
"I'm going to show myself," she said as she began to move forwards towards him.
"We're really not supposed to do that…"
"Chill." She spared one irritated glance at him before standing across from Xander and materializing.
"Holy Moley!" Xander said, looking flabbergasted at the woman who'd just appeared, causing him to knock another tree over. She was gorgeous, beautiful, every other word to describe perfection in existence.
"Hi there, cutey," she purred.
"Uh… My name's … my name's," God help him, he couldn't even remember his own name!
"Xander," she filled in for him, as she bent to help him right the tree. "I know. I think it's a wonderful name."
He looked at her suspiciously. "How do you know my name?"
"That's not the only thing I know about you handsome," Aphrodite said with a seductive wink.
Cupid just groaned.
Xander took a step back, looking even more suspicious now. "Are you a demon? I mean you have to be, you're interested in me and all." He looked at her again. "You seem nice and all and are certainly beautiful, but I don't do demons anymore, sorry." He began to back away, but Aphrodite grabbed his arm.
Suddenly they were in her bedchamber in Mount Olympus. Xander looked around flabbergasted. He quickly snatched his arm away.
Aphrodite chuckled. "I'm not a demon, sweetie. I'm a goddess."
"A go… goddess," he stuttered, suitably unnerved. After the Glory fiasco, he was understandably nervous.
"Are you a good goddess and not from like say, a hell dimension?"
"Oh no silly boy. I'm from this dimension. Ever heard of Aphrodite?"
"Like from Greek mythology?"
"That's right sweetie," she ran her hand up his arm, sending shivers down his spine, "Except I'm no myth, I'm all woman."
"Oh, I can see you are," he said staring at her cleavage.
Aphrodite grabbed his hand and placed it against her breast. "And now this woman wants you to ravish her."
"You realize I'm just a mortal, right? I may not be up to goddess standards," Xander said, still kind of nervous, but rapidly getting excited.
"Oh you are, and I want you so that's all that matters" she said knocking him back on the bed.
"Well, uh, let the wild monkey sex begin," he managed to get out right before she pounced on him.