Match Game
Note: The object of "Match Game is this: There are six celebrities and two contestants. Each contestant is given a fill-in-the-blank question. The point is to match the answers of the celebrities. Whoever has the most matches at the end of the second round is the winner.
Announcer: Get ready to match the stars! Kazuya Mishima!
(Kazuya's mug appears on the screen and he waves and smiles)
Announcer: Baek Doo San!
(Baek appears, and he stares at the screen)
Announcer: Jun Kazama!
(Jun is pointing a gun at the camera, acting like she's using it to take target practice. She smiles and waves)
Announcer: Christie Monteiro!
(She bounces up and down in her seat, her over-sized breasts jiggling all over the place. She smiles and claps, obviously happy to be here.)
Announcer: Hwoarang!
(Hwoarang is too busy looking at Christie's boobs, smokes more of the joint he's working on, and then realizes he's on camera. He flings the joint off camera and starts waving his hands in a futile attempt to get rid of the smoke.)
Announcer: and Jin Kazama!
(Jin has his arms crossed and he's shaking his head in disbelief)
Announcer: All of this and more on the all-new, star-studded Match Game '76!
(Match Game theme sounds)
Announcer: And now, here's the host of Match Game: Winterfall007!
(Winterfall walks out onto the stage, waving to the completely silent crowd. It's only then that he realizes that he has a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He hides it behind his back and smiles. The crowd then cheers.)
Winterfall: Damn censors. Welcome to Match Game! First off, I'd like to thank Hwoarang for his very good therapy program!
(Winterfall holds up the bottle off booze and give a thumbs up to Hwoarang, who takes a puff off a new joint and returns the thumbs up.)
Winterfall: So let's go ahead and meet our contestants! Over here is Michelle Chang!
Michelle: Hi.
Winterfall: and her opponent is none other than her own daughter: Julia Chang!
Julia: (talking like as if she's a black woman appearing on Maury) Uh, un! I ain't sitting near that bitch! I got a restraining order!
Winterfall: Just sit, if anything happens, I got my gun. We'll be able to put her down.
Michelle: What did I do?
Julia: Don't you pull that defensive shit, miss bitchy!
Winterfall: ooook! Let's get on with the first round. Michelle? Here's the first question. "Our economy has hit rock bottom. I never thought I'd see the day when 'blank' was in the unemployment line.
(cheesy 70's think music playing, crowd murmurs)
Winterfall: Our economy has hit rock bottom. I never thought I'd see the day when 'blank' was in the unemployment line.
(think music stops)
Winterfall: OK. Michelle? What's your answer?
Michelle: Heihachi Mishima.
(crowd applauds, they think it's a good answer)
Winterfall: Good answer. Kazuya? Is your father on that card?
(Kazuya laughs)
Kazuya: It was very tempting, but in the end, I just couldn't resist.
(Kazuya turns over the card. It says "hookers")
Winterfall: hookers. Lots of thought in that one. Baek. I'm curious to see what you put down.
Baek: Ug.
(He flips the card. It's blank.)
Winterfall: There's no answer on that.
Baek: Ug.
Winterfall: Right. Jun? Hopefully you put down something thoughtful?
(She's too busy pretending to be shooting people with her gun)
Jun: Pow!
Winterfall: Jun?
Jun: Yeah?
Winterfall: Just out of curiosity, but have you ever heard of ADD?
Jun: ADD? Isn't that something you do with numbers?
(Crowd laughs. Winterfall sits there with a stupefied look on his face. Crowd continues to laugh.)
Winterfall: Shut up! *takes a deep breath, as the audience gasps and promptly shuts up* Ok, Jun? What did you put down?
(Jun flips her card over.)
Winterfall: Hookers. Yeah, I see why you married Kazuya now. Christie? Please tell me you're not a bimbo? Show me a thoughtful answer under that card?
(Christie flips the card over.)
Winterfall: *Sighs* Just as I thought: Hookers.
Hwoarang: Didn't you use to be one, Chris?
Christie: No. I married all fifteen of them.
Hwoarang: Married?
Christie: Yeah, but I only slept with eight of them.
Hwoarang: Looking for a ninth? *winks*
Christie: Maybe. *winks back*
Winterfall: *walks between the two* Speaking of maybe, maybe Hwoarang would care to answer the question?
Hwoarang: Well, you all know the pervert I am.
(He flips the card over)
Winterfall: Yep, hookers. Please Jin, save me from committing suicide. Tell me you have something other than 'Hookers' under that card.
Jin: Actually I do.
(Winterfall begins to jump for joy until Jin shows off the card.)
Winterfall: Hores! You put 'Hores'?
Jin: It's the first thing that came to mind.
(Winterfall takes a chair and throws it at Jin)
Winterfall: Ahhhh!!!! I swear you people are stupid! You've got to be the stupidest people on the planet!
(Winterfall begins to pull out his own hair. He opens his eyes to realize that only Jin, Hwoarang, and Julia are left in the studio.)
Winterfall: Where did everyone go?
(Hwoarang takes a hit of a bong that he must have snuck in)
Hwoarang: Oh, they had the munchies. They went off to Mickey D's.
Winterfall: You should be happy then. You get to be in my next and maybe last game show rip-off!
Julia: What happened to my question?
Winterfall: You get your question the next time I update.
Jin: So what game are we going to be on now?
Winterfall: The king of them all: Celebrity Jeopardy!
TBC...
Note: The object of "Match Game is this: There are six celebrities and two contestants. Each contestant is given a fill-in-the-blank question. The point is to match the answers of the celebrities. Whoever has the most matches at the end of the second round is the winner.
Announcer: Get ready to match the stars! Kazuya Mishima!
(Kazuya's mug appears on the screen and he waves and smiles)
Announcer: Baek Doo San!
(Baek appears, and he stares at the screen)
Announcer: Jun Kazama!
(Jun is pointing a gun at the camera, acting like she's using it to take target practice. She smiles and waves)
Announcer: Christie Monteiro!
(She bounces up and down in her seat, her over-sized breasts jiggling all over the place. She smiles and claps, obviously happy to be here.)
Announcer: Hwoarang!
(Hwoarang is too busy looking at Christie's boobs, smokes more of the joint he's working on, and then realizes he's on camera. He flings the joint off camera and starts waving his hands in a futile attempt to get rid of the smoke.)
Announcer: and Jin Kazama!
(Jin has his arms crossed and he's shaking his head in disbelief)
Announcer: All of this and more on the all-new, star-studded Match Game '76!
(Match Game theme sounds)
Announcer: And now, here's the host of Match Game: Winterfall007!
(Winterfall walks out onto the stage, waving to the completely silent crowd. It's only then that he realizes that he has a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He hides it behind his back and smiles. The crowd then cheers.)
Winterfall: Damn censors. Welcome to Match Game! First off, I'd like to thank Hwoarang for his very good therapy program!
(Winterfall holds up the bottle off booze and give a thumbs up to Hwoarang, who takes a puff off a new joint and returns the thumbs up.)
Winterfall: So let's go ahead and meet our contestants! Over here is Michelle Chang!
Michelle: Hi.
Winterfall: and her opponent is none other than her own daughter: Julia Chang!
Julia: (talking like as if she's a black woman appearing on Maury) Uh, un! I ain't sitting near that bitch! I got a restraining order!
Winterfall: Just sit, if anything happens, I got my gun. We'll be able to put her down.
Michelle: What did I do?
Julia: Don't you pull that defensive shit, miss bitchy!
Winterfall: ooook! Let's get on with the first round. Michelle? Here's the first question. "Our economy has hit rock bottom. I never thought I'd see the day when 'blank' was in the unemployment line.
(cheesy 70's think music playing, crowd murmurs)
Winterfall: Our economy has hit rock bottom. I never thought I'd see the day when 'blank' was in the unemployment line.
(think music stops)
Winterfall: OK. Michelle? What's your answer?
Michelle: Heihachi Mishima.
(crowd applauds, they think it's a good answer)
Winterfall: Good answer. Kazuya? Is your father on that card?
(Kazuya laughs)
Kazuya: It was very tempting, but in the end, I just couldn't resist.
(Kazuya turns over the card. It says "hookers")
Winterfall: hookers. Lots of thought in that one. Baek. I'm curious to see what you put down.
Baek: Ug.
(He flips the card. It's blank.)
Winterfall: There's no answer on that.
Baek: Ug.
Winterfall: Right. Jun? Hopefully you put down something thoughtful?
(She's too busy pretending to be shooting people with her gun)
Jun: Pow!
Winterfall: Jun?
Jun: Yeah?
Winterfall: Just out of curiosity, but have you ever heard of ADD?
Jun: ADD? Isn't that something you do with numbers?
(Crowd laughs. Winterfall sits there with a stupefied look on his face. Crowd continues to laugh.)
Winterfall: Shut up! *takes a deep breath, as the audience gasps and promptly shuts up* Ok, Jun? What did you put down?
(Jun flips her card over.)
Winterfall: Hookers. Yeah, I see why you married Kazuya now. Christie? Please tell me you're not a bimbo? Show me a thoughtful answer under that card?
(Christie flips the card over.)
Winterfall: *Sighs* Just as I thought: Hookers.
Hwoarang: Didn't you use to be one, Chris?
Christie: No. I married all fifteen of them.
Hwoarang: Married?
Christie: Yeah, but I only slept with eight of them.
Hwoarang: Looking for a ninth? *winks*
Christie: Maybe. *winks back*
Winterfall: *walks between the two* Speaking of maybe, maybe Hwoarang would care to answer the question?
Hwoarang: Well, you all know the pervert I am.
(He flips the card over)
Winterfall: Yep, hookers. Please Jin, save me from committing suicide. Tell me you have something other than 'Hookers' under that card.
Jin: Actually I do.
(Winterfall begins to jump for joy until Jin shows off the card.)
Winterfall: Hores! You put 'Hores'?
Jin: It's the first thing that came to mind.
(Winterfall takes a chair and throws it at Jin)
Winterfall: Ahhhh!!!! I swear you people are stupid! You've got to be the stupidest people on the planet!
(Winterfall begins to pull out his own hair. He opens his eyes to realize that only Jin, Hwoarang, and Julia are left in the studio.)
Winterfall: Where did everyone go?
(Hwoarang takes a hit of a bong that he must have snuck in)
Hwoarang: Oh, they had the munchies. They went off to Mickey D's.
Winterfall: You should be happy then. You get to be in my next and maybe last game show rip-off!
Julia: What happened to my question?
Winterfall: You get your question the next time I update.
Jin: So what game are we going to be on now?
Winterfall: The king of them all: Celebrity Jeopardy!
TBC...