Note: "W" stands for Winterfall, or me. Oh, and this is as cheesy as hell, which it was meant to be. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the shows named (I do watch them religiously.), so don't sue, it's not worth it.
(Winterfall appears standing on top of a large building)
W: I'm standing here on top of a large building. This is where my new game show starts. The last few games were short skits, but this time, I've come up with something bigger. This game is called "The King of the Iron Fist". This is a crossover between a few famous shows, namely "The Apprentice", "The Amazing Race", and "Fear Factor"-like tasks, and will have multiple updates this time around.
(Winterfall walks to the other side of the roof, where ten Tekken characters stand)
W: Two weeks ago, I forgot to tip the pizza guy. Now, he's threatening to kill me. Instead of calling the police and filing a complaint, I've chosen ten candidates, all of whom are competing to be my Apprentice. Eh, oops, wrong show. I've chosen them to be my bodyguard. For the first five tasks, the ten candidates will work separately, and the losing person will have to meet me in my study after selecting two or three people to join them, and somebody will be fired.
(The candidates look at Winterfall as if he has a Donald Trump syndrome going on…)
W: Here are the candidates:
(Nina Williams stands still, looking completely professional in a suit and sunglasses.)
W: Nina Williams. She's as beautiful as she is deadly. She's an expert assassin, but her desire for blood and death may not be what I'm looking for.
(Kazuya Mishima stands there in a suit as well, wearing sunglasses too.)
W: Kazuya Mishima. The man's body screams determination. When it comes to something that he wants, he gets it. But his constant rage for his father may get in the way of protecting my life.
(Paul Phoenix stands there, in complete biker gear, chugging a beer.)
W: Paul Phoenix. His carefree enthusiasm is very welcome, and can keep me very calm. But his lack of a serious tone, and given his constant drunken state, he may bring more harm to me than good.
(Ling Xiaoyu stands there blowing bubble gum bubbles, and popping them. It's very annoying to the rest of the candidates.)
W: Ling Xiaoyu. She's very young, and very hot, which is always an instant plus in my book. But her annoying state and lack of any intelligent skills tells me she might not be the best choice for protection.
(Hwoarang stands there smiling, cocky as usual.)
W: Hwoarang. My favorite fighter, but I must admit that his cocky tone might get him in more trouble than I ever will, and that is something that I just don't need.
(Jin Kazama stand there, quiet. Hwoarang is constantly bugging him for a fight, which he ignores.)
W: Jin Kazama. He's a likely candidate given his overall peaceful persona, but his ability to turn into a devil when angry may put me in danger as well as anyone else. Besides Ling, Jin is the only other candidate who is refusing to use a gun on any task.
(Lei Wulong stand there, suspiciously eyeing Hwoarang, as well as Nina.)
W: Lei Wulong. A cop who has extreme dedication into getting the job done, no matter what the cost. But his extreme ways and constant quirkiness tells me that he may not be serious enough for the job.
(Christie looks around, like she's bored.)
W: Christie Monteiro. A woman who loves and have fun and can kick ass when it's called for. But, her lack of professionalism and "party girl" ways may not make her fit for the job.
(Steve looks at his watch, bored. He wants this to get going.)
W: Steve Fox. He's a man of fierce competition, one who won't give up when he's down, and damn well knows how to defend himself. But his cocky attitude, like Hwoarang, may be a reason to not hire him.
(Bryan looks ahead like the cyborg that he is, waiting for an order.)
W: Bryan Fury. A man who would be perfect for the job, but his hardcore military and espionage angle may not be what I'm looking for.
W: We're standing on a huge apartment building. In here is your first task. In ten minutes, this building will be set on fire, and it will be up to all of you to rescue the people inside. The person who rescues the most people in six minutes will be exempt from my study, where somebody will be fired. But there's a twist, the person who performs the worst on this task will be able to pick who will be with them in the study. Good luck.
(The fighters all convene in front of the building. Hwoarang moves over to Jin.)
Hwoarang: I'm gonna kick your ass, Kazama. You probably won't get fired today, but you will eventually.
Jin: Shut up. You'll wear yourself out by the third person.
Hwoarang: We'll see. Who do you think will get fired?
Jin: Tough to say, I'm going to bet on you.
Hwoarang: What?
(Christie and Lei are huddled together, talking suspiciously like most other reality shows.)
Lei: You don't look so good.
Christie: I'm actually afraid of burning buildings. I've had dreams recently.
Lei: What happened?
Christie: I nearly died in one. I can't believe this is happening. I've needed money, and now look at me. I get this chance to protect Winterfall from the pizza guy, and I'm up in arms about dying in a burning building.
(Lei put his hand on her shoulder as she began to pout. He's trying to console her.)
Lei: Well, it has happened before.
W: Ok. Here we go. The six minute clock starts in…5…4…3…2…1…GO!
(Nine of the candidates run in, while Christie struggles to get in the front door.)
Inside the burning building, everybody but Hwoarang and Bryan were doing fine.
Hwoarang had kicked open his first door, the apartment belonging to an attractive woman. He picked her up off her feet, as if she were seriously injured and carried her outside. He enjoyed doing that for her so much, that when he came to his next apartment and realized that it was a guy, he moved onto the next apartment, which happened to belong to a supermodel. He then carried her out.
Bryan, on the other hand, took anybody he could get, but his methods of extracting them weren't really trivial. When one resident of the building became afraid and froze on in the stairwell with fear, he pulled out his gun and fired several shots into the air to get them moving again. Bryan needed to do this more than once in order to get people going.
Christie finally did make it in the building, but cowarded when she saw the fire on the first flight of stairs. She tried to look for an apartment on the first floor, but all had been opened. She panicked and began to work up some courage to climb the burning stairs when…
W: Time's up!
(Christie walked back outside; where she began to sniffle a small tear in front of everybody.)
(Winterfall walks over to the crowd, who all now look like firemen, all sweaty and dirty. Only they were wearing street clothes.)
W: Good work out there. Some of you really came through, and some of you weren't exactly great. Go ahead and get some rest, you deserve it. Tonight I'll see all of you in the study, where someone will be fired.
(The fighters leave, as does Winterfall…)
Later that night…
All of the fighters walk into the room, wearing their getups from Tekken 5. They all take seats in front of Winterfall's cherry oak desk. The room looks like something from an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Outside, it's thundering and lightening. Winterfall walks in, trying to give his best Donald Trump look. He sits down in his chair.
W: You all want to know who brought out the most people?
(The candidates all nod their heads, trying not to get the axe.)
W: The person brought out twenty-two people in six minutes. That's very impressive. That person is… Kazuya. Nice job.
Kazuya: Damn right.
W: The person who brought out the least, brought out nobody. That's pretty bad, Christie. What happened?
Christie: I was scared. I choked.
W: Well, this job isn't a walk in the park. It's going to get scary. In order to defend me from the pizza man, you have to look death in the eye, and in this case, me.
Christie: I understand.
W: Well, Christie. You know from the conversations you all had after the task about who did what, and some funny stories and what not. How many people are coming back in with you, 2 or 3?
Christie: 2.
W: And who are those people?
Christie: Bryan and Hwoarang.
Hwoarang: (Whispers) Dammit.
(Winterfall smirks at his comment.)
W: Okay. I'll see you three back in a few minutes. The rest of you, get the fuck out of here for now.
(Everyone gets up and goes outside, where Hwoarang, Bryan, and Christie sit down on the front porch of Winterfall's house.)
Hwoarang: Why did you pick me?
Christie: I had to pick somebody. I don't want to leave this early. I'm not going to be the first one fired.
(Bryan shakes his head and sighs.)
Hwoarang: Sweetheart, I think you will. You didn't even rescue anyone.
(Winterfall comes over the intercom.)
W: Come back in.
(The three get up and go back inside, where Hwoarang is noticeably cold in his open gi.)
Hwoarang: It's fucking cold outside, man.
W: Well, duh. It's just after midnight and it's now December, and this is Illinois. Of course it's going to be cold. Put on a shirt if you're cold.
(Christie chuckles. Bryan is wearing an open jacket, but it's heavy enough to keep him from getting too cold.)
W: Now since this is the final study for tonight, I usually am going to criticize all of you. Hwoarang, you purposely skipped saving innocent people, just so you could save really hot women. Why?
Hwoarang: What? They were hot. I was horny; I'm not going to pass up a chance like this to get laid. They all gave me their numbers, and I do plan on calling them tonight.
W: Great. But I could have been one of the people in that building. Bryan, you used a tactic, that while resourceful, could have given somebody a heart attack had they had heart problems in the first place.
Bryan: Yeah, well, nobody did.
W: It's the thought that counts. Christie, you didn't save a single soul and all because you had a fear of a burning building.
Christie: Yes.
W: You all did things that were fairly inexcusable. Nobody else had any problems, and they would be primary candidates for the job. They let nothing get in the way. Instead of firing a gun at them, pick them up. Think about the victim. At least Hwoarang did that. Other times, you have to just swallow your fear and move on with or without it. Facing your fear is the only way to truly defeat it. Until these things happen, none of you has the chance of making it anywhere outside of the fighting circles, and Christie, you're fired.
(Christie isn't stunned to hear it, and doesn't say anything to Winterfall as they all get up to leave, with the ending music to the Apprentice playing as Hwoarang and Bryan leave the house.)