Clark was not quite sure what he wanted to do next. There was a multitude of options available to him, yet he simply could not make up his mind. He decided on simply walking around, getting an overview. He started down the street, recognizing everything, but seeing it in a completely new light. He remembered how confident he had been, how sure of himself, how free. No, that wasn't right. He had not been free in any way; he had been captivated by the brilliant red kryptonite gem glittering on his finger, the inducer of sin and wretchedness. He walked down the street, breathing the air deep into his lungs, reveling in the feel of the exhaust, the dust, the noise in the air, Clark Kent was back in Metropolis. He stopped in front of an automobile dealers display window and stared at the beautiful car spinning on the platform, waiting for the wealthy to claim it as their own. How easy it would be to posses it, he thought with shameful longing, feeling the urge to go in and demand it, to take it, as he could take anything he wanted. Clark was ripped away from his uncharacteristic daydreaming by the frowning woman staring at him from the other side of the glass. He was startled by her accusing stare and her determined expression. He remembered her from his previous visit to the city, how she had been so thrilled by his interest, then reduced to something so small and timid by the result. He bent his head with shame when recalling how Kal had treated her, no, how he had treated her. Kal was not some other person with whom Clark had no relation; Kal was the release of all Clark's inhibitions, his desires, his wish for freedom. Kal was Clark with no limits, with no boundaries or morality. Clark nodded at her, wishing he had the courage to apologize, and turned and walked away, though he did not look back he felt her eyes on his neck until he was out of sight.
"Oh my God! I so do not believe that you're here!" Clark turned to see who the high pitched exclamation came from and was surprised to see a familiar elderly woman who had obviously had a lot of plastic surgery. He was caught of guard by the memories she evoked, the lust and greed that had been so natural. She had what he wanted, money and power, and he had what she desired; youth. He remembered their encounters and felt cheapened by them. He had not needed the money, he could have obtained it easily elsewhere; it was her need for him that had been exciting. Her craving. Clark stiffened and smiled at her with barley contained self disgust.
"Hello Mrs. Duval," he said coldly. She gazed at him intently and a look of slight confusion marred her face. She was obviously expecting something else, some witty remark or some outrageous flirt, but not the shy, cold boy standing in front of her.
"Well, good day Kal," she said indignantly and walked away.
The joy of being in Metropolis was quickly fading, and Clark longed for the quiet and security of the Kent farm. He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed the familiar number, and within seconds she answered.
"Clark, what's up?" Chloe sounded annoyed he was calling ahead of schedule, they weren't supposed to meet up until one o'clock when they were all going for lunch; all being Clark, Chloe and Lois. Chloe and Lois were currently shopping in the seedier stores of Metropolis where genuine fashion clothes often seemed to appear at less than half price and with no tags. Chloe claimed she was there in the name of journalism, and Lois claimed she was supporting Chloe, and Clark thought they were both crazy and left it alone.
"Just wondering if you guys were finished, I'm kind of hungry now." Clark needed the support of his friends, well not really Lois, but if Chloe wanted her there, what are you going to do? The fact of the matter was Clark was feeling remorse and guilt, at every corner there was a memory of some crazy, illegal or cruel deed by his hand. The stunts he pulled the people he seduced and left, the money he stole, what he needed was to not be alone.
"Clark, come on; its 11 am, we've only been here like an hour." Clark nodded despite the fact she couldn't see him and answered, "Alright, I guess I'll see you guys at two."
"Thanks Clark" Chloe said and hung up on him. He sighed and wondered what he was going to do now. That's when he saw her. She was standing across the street, looking at him with large, scared eyes. Clark returned the stare coldly before he realized what he was doing and immediately turned his head away. He looked back and she was still standing there, her shopping bag hanging limply over her shoulder and her beautiful black hair blowing playfully over her terrified expression. She was even more beautiful than Clark remembered, her sadness a stark contrast to the girl he had seduced and later broken. He could hardly breathe; he was never going to be absolved from his sins, not until their memory itself was forgotten. He felt despair well over him and he knew, as he moved with slow deliberation towards her, that what he was about do was wrong.
She saw him. He was standing on the other side of the street with that cold glare, looking at her like she had wronged him somehow with her presence. He turned away and for a moment she thought herself truly mad for there appeared to be regret dancing over his features. But then before she could further process what this meant he was walking towards her with cold eyes and a predatory smile. She noticed that his clothes were different; he wore a tight black T-shirt, worn jeans and working boots, not the slick club ware she was accustomed to. He still looked beautiful; it was a cruel joke of faith that she was still drawn to that beauty, to the evil that hid behind the façade. He had twisted her into something she could barley live with. He was so close to her now, he held her eyes with his own as he closed the distance between them. He was standing so close, leaning down he kissed her, his hands took hold of her neck and kept her in place with an unmerciful grip. She wouldn't have run, he would catch her no matter what, a fact proven over and over again. She gave into the kiss and tried to remember the good in him, the fun they had together, the late night romantic dinners, but all she could think of was the mocking laughter emanating from him as he taunted her, as he hurt her. Kal abruptly broke the kiss and looked at her face, his hand still callously holding her neck; it would definitively bruise. He looked at her, his expression as always unreadable. She prayed to God he was in a good mood. Then he would be so sweet and kind and gentle and; he was hurting her neck, obviously not in a good mood. A tear gathered in the corner of her eye and solemnly traveled down her cheek. Kal looked at her with what appeared to be a confused expression before he gently let go of her neck and reached out to touch her face. She backed away from him, but he followed her until she was backed up against the cold wall of a computer store, his large frame completely blocking any escape. His hand slowly reached out to her face and gathered the tear cautiously on the tip of his thumb before bringing it to his lips. She turned away in disgust, expecting the usual violent slap, she looked up with fearful apprehension. Maybe his restraint stemmed from them being in a public place. She looked around and the oblivious people walking by registered in her mind for the first time since seeing him. He looked at her with undecipherable emotion and she could not help but think he looked lost, and her sympathy and love for him welled up before she could quell it with memories of pain and humiliation. He took her hand and she let herself be led down the street back into a relationship and life she was sure she had left behind and overcome.
Clark was confused by himself. He had intended to beg her forgiveness, to make right what he had done to her, and now he was coercing her down a street after a brutal kiss, not exactly repent in its purest form. He looked around and tried to decide on where to take her. He stopped himself, take her? Why would he take her anywhere, she had requested no such thing, her response to him so far had been disgust, tears and fear. He resisted the urge to turn back and hurt her, this was not how she behaved, she knew he didn't like it. Clark stopped dead in his tracks, not noticing the crushing grip he had on her hand. Why was he thinking like this? This was not how Clark Kent behaved. He was revolted by the thought of hurting others, yet now he had to fight it, had to resist contaminating one of his most basic principals. He turned around and truly looked at her: She was staring at her feet, biting her perfect full lips, hair glimmering in the sun as her sundress perfectly displayed her sleek elegance. There was also something new, something he had never seen, or at least never noticed before. There was a will to fight him, a determination in her mournful eyes that made him want to howl with rage. He caught himself yet again and tried desperately to think up a reason for his behavior.
"Hi Clark! Who's your friend?" He heard a cheerful Chloe behind him and groaned. Not what he needed right now.
"Hi Chloe" he turned around and smiled at her with that something's up smile of his she knew meant trouble. She looked around and noted with annoyance that Lois had left her side. Where could she have lost her? Chloe groaned and hoped the store Lois had inevitably drifted into was close by, she was not in the mood for a full on search, at least not with all these bags tearing at her hands and shoulder.
"I'll see you later," Clark said to the girl and let go of her hand. There was something odd about the way he said it, something unfamiliar in the tone of his voice. The girl just looked at him with wide eyes, she looked seriously traumatized and Chloe wondered what could have made her so sad. She was beautiful really, and Chloe envied her body. Clark was not looking at the girl, but he seemed to be getting rather annoyed at her presence. She finally seemed to come to her bearings and said in a subdued tone of voice, "good bye" before turning around and walking quickly down the street.
"Hwo was that?" Chloe asked Clark, he looked like he had just lost a puppy and Chloe wondered what was up with him and that girl.
"Somebody I met last summer," Clark said, reminding Chloe of an encounter she would rather forget. It had been very upsetting to see her best friend like that, to have him talk to her like that. She was reluctant of exploring that side of Clark, but her curiosity won out.
"Really, is she a friend or?" Chloe left the question hanging and waited for the answer. Clark looked uncomfortable.
"I don't know," he said exasperated "I really wasn't myself last summer," he concluded and looked at the wall behind her. She wondered what he meant, bur her questioning was interrupted by the sudden appearance of Lois.
"Where were you?" Lois shoved her bags into Clark's hands and shook her head at Chloe. "I looked for you like forever." Chloe would have felt bad if it weren't for. No wait a minute, she wouldn't have felt bad period. She smiled at the thought, infuriating Lois who had been mercilessly deprived of her shopping councilor, not that she took any of the advice but, you know.
"Clark, we decided we would grant your request and have lunch now."
"No we didn't" Chloe exclaimed. Lois turned and fixed a malicious stare at Chloe, "I mean; of course we did." Clark however really wasn't paying them any attention. He was still looking at the wall behind her with an intent expression.
"OK, what's up with farm boy here?" Lois asked her, and Chloe wished she knew but Clarks behavior was a mystery to her. Then again; she hoped it wasn't to soon to bring him back to Metropolis, it may have been Lois doing the pushing, but Chloe had signed up for the trip. She had known it would be difficult, and she had been determined to be a good friend, and then she had left him alone on the first day. Way to go Chloe she thought to herself.
"No idea", however, was her answer. "Clark, are you OK?"
"Oh," Clark looked at her as if he hadn't heard the question, "yeh, I'm fine," he said and smiled reassuringly. There was something about his posture though, something alien to Clark, something that made her unsure of her best friend.
"Well, lets go eat; shall we?" Lois took Chloe's arm and marched on towards the nearest coffee shop,
Jennifer's mind was a series of tangled thoughts she couldn't decipher. "I'll see you later," those were his words. He was coming back. He looked different than she remembered, his hair wasn't so up to date and his clothes were not the sleek, dark cotton and denim she was accustomed to. He had acted rather strangely to; there had been none of the usual violent outbursts that had grown so frequent towards the end of last summer before he disappeared. She had hoped he was dead, shot and forgotten in some alley. She sighed, such thoughts were not to be entertained, they would never come to pass, and so what was the point? Kal would never leave her; no matter what she did he would always come for her, even if it was simply to put an end to her. She walked up the narrow stairs to her apartment and unlocked the door, she had changed the lock, but she hoped he wouldn't notice if she left it unlocked. She would probably be moving into his apartment soon anyway, if she was unlucky. Dropping her bags on the floor she stalked solemnly over to the bed, lay down, and waited.
Clark sat staring into his coffee. The image of her terrified eyes darted across his mind tearing at his conscience. He hoped he hadn't hurt her neck. Clark sank deeper into remorse and guilt as he thought about what he had done, what he wanted to do. He was having trouble focusing on the conversation going on between Chloe and Lois; something about the authenticity of their recently purchased designer pants and their plans for the evening. Clark was startled when Lois suddenly directed her attention on him: "So Clark, are you up for it?" Clark looked at her with a blank expression.
"God you can be so dense," she exclaimed and repeated her question. "Do you want to go to The Zone; it's like the hottest club in town." Clark knew it quite well, and he also knew he didn't want to go. There were to many dark memories and secrets lurking there, and after his recent loss of control around her earlier he wasn't prepared to take any chances.
"I think I'll stay at the hotel and just relax," he said. Chloe looked at him with a dubious expression, but Lois seemed rather smug as she said: "Its OK Clark, I know clubbing can seem intimidating, especially for a small town boy like yourself." Clark didn't take the bait, he needed to go and sort things out with her, so he simply smiled and nodded; "you're probably right."
She heard somebody climbing the stairs slowly. There seemed to be an eternity between the thud of each foot hitting the steps, she clenched her fists in anticipation. Eventually it stopped and she counted to four, the doorknob turned on exactly the right number, everything was going according to their old schedule. Her heart raced as she watched him step into her little apartment. He was looking around, noticing all the little changes that had taken place since he was there last. He came towards her.
Clark wasn't quite sure what he wanted to accomplish here. He knew he wanted to make things right for her, to have her forgive him for the things he'd done to her. Or did he? A small part of him whispered, he ignored the thought and walked towards her, she was afraid; he could hear her heartbeat like a rapid drum. She sat on the bed, waiting for him as he had taught her to do, he sat down next to her, resisting the urge to lean over and kiss her. Clark was revolted with himself, he knew the pain he caused her with his mere presence and yet he was still here, next to her on the bed, waiting to see if she dared talk.
"How've you been?" He asked her, trying to start the difficult conversation.
"Fine," she whispered her lips barley moving. Clark looked around the one room apartment. It was really rather nice, a fact he'd never noticed before. It was sparsely decorated, all in modern light colors. He turned his head again to the girl next to him, she was trying really hard not to bolt, and he didn't blame her, considering what he'd done the last time she tried it. He reached out and took her hand, she was shaking slightly and her eyes were moist. He let go of her hand and stood up.
"Ok," he said as he bent down in front of her, "here's the deal," he paused and looked into her eyes. "I'm really sorry I hurt you Jenna." He waited for a reaction. She didn't move, her face didn't change at all. She looked at him with blank uncomprehending eyes, her hands still shaking slightly. He waited for her to respond, to tell him it was alright, that it was fine. He grew angrier and angrier as the time stretched and the delicate moment grew denser with his own tension. He stood up, and looked down at her; she turned her head away and looked at the wall. He ran his hands up her arms and felt them shiver under his touch. His hands reached her throat and he rubbed his thumb gently down and in between her collarbone, tears were falling from her eyes and he leaned down and kissed them. He pushed her down on the bed, laying his body on top of hers and started kissing her neck. She lay very still and Clark stopped, he looked at her face and her expression mirrored his worst fears of what he would become. He quickly stood up and walked to the door.
"I just want you to know;" he said as he closed the door: "I'm sorry," he walked out leaving her behind forever to go join Chloe and Lois at The Zone.