Note: If anybody thinks Waffles and Mrs. Tucker are familiar, they are based on characters called Tricky Woo and Mrs. Pomfrey, from a series of books by the brilliant veterinarian/author James Herriot. I loved him as a child, and my oldest daughter has just discovered his stories as well.

Chapter Five: Christmas Cards and Other Nonsense

After Teal'c and Jonas returned to the base, Carter wasn't taking the hint that Jack wanted to return Waffles alone. Actually, he would have bet money she was intentionally not taking the hint. Playing dumb was his thing, but she was using it against him now to get another chat with Mrs. Tucker. Finally, he decided it was no use, and they all went back over to Mrs. Tucker's house, Carter holding the leash, Jack carrying the case of dog food and the new toy.

The door was opened before they even knocked, and Mrs. Tucker greeted them all enthusiastically, although Waffles received much more by way of greeting than either of his human companions, as he found himself scooped up into her arms and smothered instantly with kisses.

"Were you a good boy for Uncle Jack and his friends?" she asked, ushering them inside again. "Of course you were!" she answered for herself, as Jack automatically took the food to the cupboard where it was kept.

"And you've got a lovely new friend now, haven't you?" Mrs. Tucker continued, smiling at Sam, who smiled back.

"You're a dog person. I can tell. I bet children love you too, don't they?"

"Er…"

"Yeah, they do," Jack answered, hoping to quickly leave.

Mrs. Tucker was having none of it. "Same with this one here. Children and animals always know," she said wisely, patting Sam's arm. "You bring her back over, Jack, you hear?"

"Yes, Mrs. Tucker," he said patiently, lightly tugging on Carter's arm, hoping to move her towards the door before something more embarrassing than being peed on in Petsmart or falling on top of his 2IC happened to him that day.

"Oh, Jack, I just remembered!" Mrs. Tucker exclaimed suddenly. "I didn't give you your Christmas card, because you were out of town on business, remember? I'll be right back."

"I'll come get it later…" Jack started nervously, dispensing with subtlety and literally dragging Carter to the door, despite her protests.

"Nonsense, it's right here," she said happily, handing it to him. The silver envelope read 'Uncle Jack' on the front, and the seal on the back was a paw print.

"Thanks," Jack said.

"It's not from me!" Mrs. Tucker insisted.

"Thanks, Waffles," he said dutifully, smiling down at the little dog, who was snoring loudly on a basket in the corner.

"It was lovely to meet you, Sam."

"You too. And thanks for introducing me to Waffles," Carter said with the mega-smile, further insuring her place in Mrs. Tucker's heart.

Jack rolled his eyes and ushered her out of the house, calling, "I'll see you later, Mrs. Tucker!"

As soon as they were outside, Carter snatched the card from Jack's hands with reflexes he had started to lose as the years dragged on. He made a grab for it but she was already running towards his house with it, trying to open it at the same time. He tried to catch her but by the time he caught up to her and grabbed her wrist to try to wrench the card from her, the damage was already done.

"Oh, how sweet!" Carter said in a sugary voice. "Your nephew has sent you a picture of himself on Santa's lap. What a nice picture! Look, he signed it to you himself: To the best uncle a doggy-nephew ever had. Love, Waffles. Wow, Waffles has impressive handwriting."

"All right, are you done?" he demanded gruffly, making another grab for the card.

She started to hand it over but snatched it back suddenly, peering at it closer.

"Carter, I am ORDERING you to give me that card RIGHT NOW!" Jack insisted.

It was the first time in her life she had completely disregarded an order from him. It wasn't intentional though - she had only just realized why he was so desperate to keep the card from her. Leaning against his front door, laughing so hard she thought she might crack a rib, she finally gasped, "It's… you!"

He smoothed down his sweater and said with dignity, "Yes, it is. Mrs. Tucker had a photographer over to take his picture as she does every year, but they sent someone different, and Waffles refused to be still. Her solution was me dressing as Santa Claus and holding him still, if you must know."

He all but slammed the door in her face as he pushed past her and went inside. She followed him, still laughing hysterically but trying to get control over herself. "I'm sorry, sir, it's just… I had no idea… you're a great Santa Claus… maybe General Hammond should use you for the Christmas party next year…"

"Very funny, Carter."

"I'm sorry, sir," she repeated. "It's just so terribly… sweet of you."

He looked at her suspiciously. "You'd better not tell anyone about this…"

"Nobody would believe me if I did!" she insisted. "But I would never do that. Your secret's safe with me. In fact, I feel bad for laughing at you so much today, sir, I just… was surprised is all."

"I understand."

"And… thank you for doing something with Jonas. It meant a lot to him, I could tell."

"It wasn't bad," he admitted grudgingly. "But I still don't think I'm ready for too much one-on-one time with him."

"Well, that's understandable, sir. How about the three of you all come over for dinner tonight?"

"Sounds good. Wait, you're not gonna cook are you?" he asked with a cheeky grin. She swatted his arm without thinking. "Ah-ah, Major Carter, assaulting a superior officer wouldn't look too good on that spotless record of yours… besides, you've mocked me enough today, I can't get in one joke about your lack of cooking ability?"

"Fair enough," she conceded. "And no. I'm picking up Chinese food, if you must know."

"Sounds good," he repeated with a truce-inducing smile.

Shaking her head, she said, "See you tonight then."