'Broken'

TYPE: Songfiction

GENRE: LOVE/LOSS

PAIR: B/S

RATE: PG

SPOILERS: Ending of season '5', shortly after Buffy's untimely death..

DISCLAIMER: This is the story of Spike's POV, when Buffy died tragically, to save the
world, her friends and all humanity. This song fiction is inspired by the love and loss
between Buffy and Spike. The characters are not mine, they belong to Joss Whedon. The
lyrics are performed by Amy Lee and Seether. I have only taken the passion and
composed this wonderful art from the actual song, and added the minds and POVs of both
Buffy and Spike. It is set directly after Buffy has sacrificed herself and her life for the love
of others. I dedicate this to all of the Buffy and Spike lovers.

Author's note: This is the story of Spike (portrayed by James Marsters) and Buffy
(portrayed by Sarah Michelle Gellar), and their POV together. As if the voice of the
talented musician,
Amy Lee, is Buffy's voice. And her accompanying back-up singer, Seether, is '
Spike's voice. The actual lyrics to the song, are between the '' 's.

TIP: To capture the image and to enhance the beauty of this fiction,

listen to the actual song lyrics and Broken'.

This is just the cure for any Buffy/ASpike lover.

(Spike's POV)

This is it, my world has crashed. My soulleess being, the very dead being inside me has
died, the moment you left me. Though desolate inside, the moment I knew that I had
these insatiable feelings for you, I couldn't deny it. I only was alive when I gazed into
your eyes, and my still heart was warm.

You were an amazing woman. The strongest I had ever seen. You laid down your life for
the sake of this bloody world, this meaningless existence of life, and for your loved ones.
I exhalted you, and you became my hero, Buffy. You had said to me countless times, and
even though it stabbed me in the gut and pierced my empty soul-you claimed that you
could never love me. You swore that you hated every bit of me, though I am honored to
have fought beside you. But I couldn't rescue you, my love. Now, I gaze solemnly at
your lifeless body, and I am now cold inside. I will never be the same, I will always be
dead. Because my life, is now barren. My heart is numb, because you have left me. I
shall forever weep for your beautiful life, and how you've touched me.

Spike:
'I wanted you to know,
that I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high and steal your pain, away
I keep your photograph
And I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high and steal your pain'

Spike and Buffy:
''Cuz I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
when you're gone away'

Spike: (You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore)

(Buffy's POV)

I know I never gave you the credit that you deserved, Spike. I know I never gave you
the time of day, or night. And I wouldn't. You beseeched me for my love, and I denied
you over and over. I never saw you as a man, a real human being. I didn't realize what
you've done for me and the ones who have mattered the most to me. You deserved much
more than I gave you recognition for, Spike. I can see you crying.

I want you to know that I am alright. Though I may not be with all of you in present, I
will always be there in spirit. I had to do what I did, and give the gift that I was meant to
give so that others may have a chance for a bright future, and a chance to live. I know
that you all mourn for me, and that you miss me. I can hear the cries and I feel each and
every tear. I know you will help me even though I am away. Please do this for me, even
though I am gone. Take care of them, and I will be watching over you from above. Don't
you cry anymore, it's all over now. I want you to live on. I want you to all live for me.
Because I still love you all. Do it for me, please. I'll be in your hearts, and will be near to you until the end of
time.

Buffy:
'The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away
There's so much love to learn
And no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain'

Buffy and Spike:
''Cuz I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel right
I am strong enough
'Cuz I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
When you're gone away'

Spike:

With my heart in my hands, I bow my knees down in reverence for all that you were, all
that you did, and all that you forever will be. You gave your life unselfishly, and you were
lost. You will never be lost to me, my love. I will look up at the stars and know that you
are shining down on me. Though you are up there and no longer with us, I know that you
conquered the enemy. There is nothing that could ever touch you. You are not a victim,
Buffy. You are the victor over life. I admire your strength and your mercy. You've
given so much of yourself, and it cost you your life. It isn't fair to you that this world
gave up on you. I never did, and I never will. I can't help but to grieve for you, and my
heart bleeds for you. I still love you, though my heart is broken. You were strong, and I
will be stronger for you. For your loving memory, I will hold to my promise and hold it so
close to me.

Buffy and Spike:
''Cuz I'm broken
When I'm open
And I don't feel right
I am strong enough'

I see you in a brand new light, Spike. Your heart is revealed to me now, and it is not
broken. I do not view you as a monster, but as a man. With a good heart. You will go on for me, and I will be here for you. For all of you, and I am not
lost. I am found, am I know I am loved. You are the strong one. I wished that I could
have seen your true mind and your amazing vitality before. I see it now, and to that I hold
so dear. I know I swore that I would never love you. You craved my love like your last
breath. I want you to know, Spike, that you do have it. Though I rejected you, beat you
down, and refused my love for you...in esteem, I now accept who you are, I lift you up,
and I bless you with my love. You have proven yourself worthy, and you always were. If
given a second chance, this I would prove to you.

''Cuz I'm broken
When I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
That you're gone'

As if breathing again, I can sense your presence. I feel your love, Buffy. I lift my chin up
and gaze into the night sky that has claimed you...and I see you. As if looking into your
mesmerizing eyes, I am in awe of your effervescent beauty. You are not gone to me, and
you never will be. Forever, you will be alive within me. You have given me reason to go
on, and because of you...I have purpose. From the bottom of my soulless heart, I am alive
because of you. I hold onto your reminiscence like a special gift, because you gave life to
me, and to countless others. Someday I will tell you how much you mean to me. I hold
my hand to my heaving chest, and I know you are there.

You will never be departed from me. Nothing can take you away, because you are inside
of me. Oh Buffy, why did you have to do this? The deep regret and sadness devours me.
It is just too much to bare and I just want to hold you in my arms, but that is now an
impossibility. I could have saved you, Buffy. You were my brath of life. You are and will always be the One for me. I hope that in your eyes, I have not failed
you. I miss you desperately and I am now broken all over again.

Spike:
'You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore'