Chapter Two:
Who Am I?
Surrounded by darkness…where was the light? I forgot everything, I knew nothing. A million questions exploded in my head. What am I? Who am I? Where am I? When am I? How did I get here? What is this place? Where is this place? Suddenly the urge to open my eyes took over, so I opened them. Before I got a chance to look around a shooting pain went though me and I squeezed my eyes together in pain. There I was, trapped in my thoughts, darkness consuming me. I was so alone until an unfamiliar voice brought me to my senses,
"Hey, watch!"
I was on my feet and colors drained into the world around me. I saw a young man and a young woman standing there in the scene set out before me. The young woman whistled a high shrill whistle.
"Hey! You got pretty good…" The young man said lifting his hands and laughing a short bittersweet laugh. Just then I felt an unfamiliar sensation, it was so unique. I felt a sharp plunging feeling in the pit of my stomach and then my heart throbbed at an incredible rate. It was disturbing in a way, was I somehow connected to these…these people?
"Him, her, do you know who they are?"
I jumped when I heard the voice. I whirled around in alarm. There was a tall man, looked around the age of 30 standing next to me. He was dressed in a thick Tuscan Red coat and black boots.
"No, and I don't know you either…" I replied, "Ya know? Come to think of it, why don't you try telling me who I am!?" I shouted in a fury shaking my fist then I looked at my fist. It was black gloved just like the man in the vision. Slowly, I unfolded my hand and brought a two fingers to touch my…oh…what were they called…my lips. Was I going insane? My lips trembled, more sensations flooded me, but that sharp plunging feeling stayed…fear?
"I am Auron." Said the man in monotone. I was all too eager to know what this man knew, I wanted him to tell me…to tell me everything.
"Tell me…Tell me, Auron! Who am I?" I pleaded, voice trembling. Fear gripped me, I was afraid to find out who I was…Auron pointed to the young woman and the young man.
"Try to remember…"
Memories flooded my brain seconds after he uttered these words:
"Perhaps I could get to talk to you more then, Tidus?"
"I want you to laugh, Tidus!"
"Tidus, Try it!"
"Then…I just want him nearby…"
"Don't worry, Tidus, I can fly."
"Welcome to Luca! I'm sure it's much like your Zanarkand."
"They say your father is Sir Jecht, isn't that right, Tidus?"
"Tidus!"
"Tidus…"
When I came back to my senses I nodded.
"Yes…I'm…Tidus…" I said with a pant in between my words.
"And the girl?"
"I…I…I can't remember…" I said reluctantly shaking my head. The man grunted.
"No good, you will remember, you must!" With that Auron got right in my face and then touched my forehead with two fingers. My heart stopped, my life flashed before my eyes. Every waking minute of it hurt in some remote or obvious way.
"Stop…" I said quietly at first. As my life continued to flash before me voices surrounded me, and hands brushed gently against me, were they hands though?
"Stop…" I said again. The voices grew louder. The hand like appendages rubbed against my shoulders.
"Stop it..." I said more forcefully this time. The voices were even louder than before, not quite yelling. The hands started to poke and prod at my shoulders as my life flashed faster and faster and faster!
"Stop now…" I stated firmly. The voices were yelling, screaming now. The hands poked all over, but with long sharp pains in the places they had touched. It was a cold feeling as well. It hurt, badly, I had to stop it.
"STOP IT!!!!!" Everything went blank. The voices were gone. The hands were gone. Everything was black. Then, a soft sound, far in the distance, I heard something like…what could it be…it was something like a babbling brook. A gentle flowing stream or…a lake…light suddenly flooded the darkness. I was standing on the edge of, as I had suspected, a lake. The name…Macalania, Lake Macalania. This place was special, I had a feeling I was about to find out why…There was a person in the lake, it was the girl from before. She spoke, "I always thought that this would be easier somehow…I thought that everyone would help me...with all my friends here beside me. I've been trying so hard." She said softly and emotionlessly. I felt compelled to do something. I waded into the lake with her yet stood slightly behind her, "Maybe you're trying too hard. They told me...everything." I said quietly. That plunging feeling again, was I…regretting something?
"Everything?" the girl whispered. Almost if robotically my head nodded up and down and I said a simple, "Yeah…" Little did I know, I was about to dive into a gigantic apology about Yevon knows what…wait…Yevon???
"I'm sorry. It's just; you know...all those things I said. Like 'Let's go get Sin!' Or about Zanarkand...I didn't know what would happen to you, Yuna. I guess... I hope it didn't make you sad." I was spouting off my humble apology as she turned to face me, looking my face up and down. Had I said her name in that sentence? If I did, the name had already slipped my mind. There was no more time for thinking for more words poured out of my mouth, "Forgive me…" I said bowing my head. It was the most serious thing I'd ever said. I was dead serious about this, no fooling. She turned her back to me again and held her hands to her chest,
"I wasn't sad…I was happy." She stated in a bittersweet tone of voice. Happy!? I started to remember, this girl was a Summoner, the daughter of…oh, I forgot his name but it was a really important guy…but the thing was…she was going to die if she tried to defeat Sin. Yes…I remembered now…was I…in love with her? I dove under water and came up a few meters in front of her. I shook the water from my hair and floated on my back.
"Just don't do it."
"The pilgrimage?"
"Well, yeah!" I said standing; the water was shallow enough where I was. Yes, that's right, the pilgrimage was what a Summoner went on to obtain the Final Aeon to defeat Sin. And calling the Final Aeon would…kill a Summoner…That's why I was trying to stop her, right?
"That's right. Forget all about Sin, about being a Summoner. Forget all that. You know, live a normal life. Come on now, what do you say?" I attempted, a lame attempt to make her quit. But it was hopeful. I was starting to have a more in body experience instead of out of body. I knew what was going on now…the next thing she said was shocking.
"Maybe I will." She declared. I was shocked, was she that easily convinced? I swam closer to her and a warm smile spread across her face. "Wouldn't everyone be surprised?" she finished.
"Yeah." I responded. "Except Rikku. She'd be with you. Lulu and Wakka wouldn't hold out long." Oh yeah! That was right! Rikku was that girl's cousin. Rikku was younger than her but there was something else about Rikku…Of course, she was that race that Wakka hated, the Al Bhed! Lulu was engaged to Wakka's little brother Chappu, everything was coming back to me
"Kimahri would say yes, too, I know. But Sir Auron..."
'Auron, You know Auron!?' I tried to say, but I almost seemed to choke then everything stopped,
"This is no mere Flash Back, Tidus, Don't interfere. I stopped you this time, but if you slip up, something seriously wrong could happen." It was Auron's voice. Time resumed.
"I'll make him understand. It's the least I can do for you." I interjected coughing back the words I was about to say.
"No, I should tell him. He deserves it." The girl, who's name I still couldn't recall said as she swam a small distance and then floated on her back,
"What'll I do if I give up my pilgrimage?" Said asked me after a long silence.
"Zanarkand! Let's go to Zanarkand!" I answered getting a strange feeling high in my chest. It felt like I would lift up and out of the water, I was excited, that's what. Zanarkand was home, of course. "But not the one in Spira, the one I'm from!" I said waving my hands and touching my chest. The girl nodded. "Yeah, we can all fly there. Everyone can go! Then we'll have a big party at my place!"
"And we could see Blitzball?" She said getting to her feet a remarkable sparkle of excitement in her eyes. Blitzball, something I couldn't forget, my very favorite sport! "Your Zanaraknd Abes would play? We could all watch you play, in the stadium all lit up at night…I'd cheer and cheer till I couldn't cheer anymore!" She gushed, drawing closer to me and smiling largely. I made a fist and jabbed it into the air.
"Right on!" I yelled, getting even more worked up.
"Well, what about after the game?" The girl said calming down and thinking.
"We'd go out and have fun!" I suggested quickly.
"In the middle of the night!?" She boggled. I laughed and nodded my head yes.
"No problem! Zanarkand never sleeps!" I said making a wide sweeping motion with my hand. Then I turned my eyes to the sky and surveyed the many stars in the vast Spira sky remembering the enchanting sunsets and sunrises in Zanarkand.
"Let's go to the sea, before the sunrise. The city lights go out one by one. The stars fade...Then the horizon glows, almost like it's on fire!" I outspread my arms, painting that picture in my mind. I hoped she was getting the same picture. To clarify, I continued my description, "It's kinda rose-colored, right? First in the sea, then it spreads to the sky, then to the whole city. It gets brighter and brighter, till everything glows….It's really...pretty. I know you'd like it…." I finished, opening my eyes and taking a big sigh.
"Hm…I'd like to see it, someday." The girl said quietly.
"Well you can! We can both go!" I shouted back, while turning to face her. A silent crystalline tear streamed from her eye, rolled gently down her face, and hit against the surface of the water, sending it rippling. I was silent and before I could say something she spoke, softly at first, "I can't…" She started, taking a long non breathing pause in between, "I just can't…" She said again. Then she yelled longingly and sorrowfully, "I can't go!" Next, I had no idea what I was doing…I drew closer to her, heart throbbing uncontrollably in my chest. She sobbed letting her many tears fall into the water. I put my arms around her. Confused but not struggling I finally uttered her name. It rolled off my tongue, so smooth and sweet, "Yuna…" She looked up at me with her tear clouded eyes. A look of sympathy crossed my face and then just as easily as I had said her name I drew her closer to me and our lips met. She did not struggle; I knew I couldn't although I had absolutely no idea what I was thinking. She seemed…comfortable…in a way, I felt comfortable as well. I could feel the warmth of her hands against my bare chest. We fell into the water, quietly. I brushed her hair back to see her eyes and she ran her finger on my face. I smiled and so did she. She hadn't stopped crying though, now, happy tears flowed. With a final embrace we came up. Neither of us spoke until we were on the lake's bank.
I folded my legs and put my arms around them. She tucked her legs under her and sat next to me. Smiling she leaned her head on my shoulder, "How…"
"What?"
"How did I ever get that chance?"
"What do you mean?"
"That…chance, as a Summoner, never can I marry, live my life out, enjoy the things I love, or the people I love and I just did…how…?"
I was silent. I had no idea…I did want this to end, hopefully it never would. I was remembering, and now, I knew.
"I'll continue. I must." She said taking her head off my shoulder and fixing her hair.
"If I give up now I could do anything I wanted to, and yet...Even if I was with you, I could never forget…"
"Well…I'll go with you. I mean…I'm your guardian! Unless I'm...fired?" I remarked sarcastically making a slashing motion across my neck and chuckling. Yuna giggled and slapped my shoulder lightly, "Why would I fire you?" She asked, also sarcastically then she continued, very seriously. "Stay with me until the end. Please." Yuna bowed and closed her eyes. I smirked.
"Not until the end..."
Yuna looked at me, concerned and a little afraid, "Huh?" She said innocently. I didn't look at her; I looked at the sky and said firmly
"Always."
Suddenly the color drained, everything froze and I was separated again from my body. I looked down at the black and white frozen picture of Yuna and me sitting on the Banks of Lake Macalania. I was angry.