AN: Thanks to all of those who reviewed!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!
Chapter 2: Shut Up Harry
"No, no, no! This is not how things are supposed to be!" Ron shouted gripping his hair in frustration.
Harry stared at the boy whom he had thought had died a couple of weeks ago. "Are you a ghost?"
"Look at me you idiot. I'm as solid as you are. I've been given a reprieve," Ron said. "I didn't understand at first. But now…well it's easy to see why He wanted me back here. This is insane."
"Who's He?" Hermione asked, speaking for the first time since Ron had appeared.
"Who do you think?" Ron replied.
"Wow! You were in heaven? Was it nice there?" Hermione said rapidly.
"The view was good."
"Ah."
"How the heck did you make it in there?" Harry interrupted.
"What do you mean?" Ron asked. "I was a good bloke."
"Yeah right," Harry said.
"What did I do wrong?"
"Well…you…er…ARGUED with Hermione….and um….drank milk directly from the carton," Harry finished lamely.
Ron ignored him and looked at Hermione. "Heaven was nice. But there was one thing missing."
"What?" Hermione questioned.
"You."
"Awww," Harry heard himself say. "Wait! She's mine! We're in love."
Ron rolled his eyes. "Come on Harry. Did you show interest in her once before I died?"
Harry thought. Harry thought hard. "Yes!" He yelled triumphantly. "My jaw dropped when I saw her at the Yule Ball in fourth year."
Ron snorted. "Your jaw dropped when you saw me appear here. Are you in love with me too?"
"Well no…" Harry admitted.
"When your jaw drops it means you're surprised, you moron, not that you are attracted to someone," Ron said.
Harry frowned. "Well so what if I didn't notice her before. I noticed her now. We're in love."
"I love you sugarwand," he said, turning to Hermione.
Harry walked up to Hermione and kissed her softly. Hermione responded with a little less enthusiasm than she had before the sexy redhead had appeared.
Ron cleared his throat.
Harry spun around. "Sorry. I forgot you were here."
"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?" Ron said. "This is WRONG! ALL WRONG!"
"Why?" Harry muttered, glaring at him.
"Because everyone and their mother knows Hermione and I are supposed to be together," he said softly. "Even God."
"I'm sure God's been wrong before," Harry said stubbornly.
"When?" Ron asked, narrowing his eyes.
"….um….he shouldn't have…er….rested on the seventh day…that was a bad decision…and-"
"Enough!" Ron shouted. "If you don't believe me, I'll show you."
"Show us?" Hermione inquired. "How?"
"Well He-Who-Resides-In-Heaven hooked me up. I've got some pretty nifty powers," Ron said cracking his knuckles.
"Yeah…like what?" Harry asked skeptically.
"I can show you the past…the future…" Ron said mysteriously.
"Like in A Christmas Carol!" Hermione yelled excitedly.
"What's that?" Ron asked.
"A book, " Hermione explained. "Three ghosts come and show Scrooge the past, present, and future to teach him a lesson. Of course…there's only one of you..."
"Well sorry," Ron muttered. "God didn't give me the power to multiply myself." Ron looked disgruntled at the fact that the one he loved was no longer impressed with him. "Did Harry ever come back from the dead for you? I think not!"
"That's not fair! I never died!"
"Shut up, Harry," Ron and Hermione said together.
The three of them stood there looking at each other for a minute.
"Well?" Hermione finally said to Ron. "Are you going to show us something?"
"Oh! Right!" Ron said at once. He closed his eyes and seemed to be concentrating and suddenly the three of them disappeared.
AN: Please review!