The Art Of Losing Chapter 5: The End Of The Innocence, a degrassi fanfic

The End of The Innocence

A/N: sorry about lack of updates... writer's block is killing me, I have no idead where is chapter is going. I'm not sure i'm happy with the sequel, either. This chapter is gonna be short, but the next chapter might even be two parts, it'll be so long.-Amanda

"Delia! Delia!" Craig ran out behind me.

I don't stop running.

"Delia! You can't do this!"

"Why, Craig! Why can't I? You're just being selfish."

"I'm being selfish? I'm being selfish, Delia. You want to take your life away from the people who love you more than anything." He pulls them out of his pocket and waves them at me. "Sleeping pills? How many are here? Twenty? Thirty?"

"Forty-five." I whisper to the ground.

He steps closer to me and lifts my chin. "Come on. Come with me." He leads me to his car and we get in. He grabs my hand and turns toward me before turning the car on and says, "Everything's going to be okay. I promise."

Craig gets out of the car and look off of the cliff where we first fell in love. I look out to the valley when I notice him staring at me.

"What?" I say, turing to him.

"Your eyes... are they green or blue?"

"Have you been looking at my Moulin Rouge soundtrack again? I thought I warned you about that. You're gonna turn into me if you keep listening to it. Then I won't have a Craig Manning to love and-"

He puts his indexfinger on my mouth. "You're blabbing. Do you want to spend the night tonight? Tomorrow's my birthday, and I want to spend every moment of it with the woman I love more than anything."

"Who? Angela?" I grin at him as he chuckles.

"You know. Plus, Angela isn't a woman just yet. She's only seven."

"Hold on. I'm not allowed to talk about my period, but you're allowed to talk about Angela's? There is something seriously wrong about that, sweetie." I lean my head on his shoulder.

"So, do you want to come?"

I smirk at him and say, "What do you think?"

"Awesome." We get into his car and he drives to my house. I run inside and into the kitchen and scribble down on a piece of paper where i'll be and what was going down. I run upstairs and grab some clothes for tomorrow and toss them in a bag. I grab some CDs and run into the car.

"What's this?" Craig says as I hand him the CDs. "Yeah Yeah Yeahs? Modest Mouse? The Shins? Your style has really changed."

"Yeah, but Karen O singing 'Man' reminds me so much of you."

"Oh? I want to hear this song then." I put Fever To Tell in the CD player and change it to track three. Karen O starts singing, "1

Go...

I got a man that makes me wanna kill

I got a man that makes me wanna, ugh

I got a man that makes me wanna kill

PLEASE (4x)

I got a man that makes me wanna die

I got a man that makes me wanna, ugh

I got a man that makes wanna die

Yeah, we're all gonna burn in hell

I said we're all gonna burn in hell

Cuz we do what we gotta do real well

And we got the fever to tell

I said we got the fever to tell

I got a man makes it for me

I got a man that makes the devil pale

I got a man that makes me wanna kill

Yeah, we're all gonna burn in hell

I said we're all gonna burn in hell

Cuz we do what we gotta do real well

And we got the fever to tell

I said we got the fever to tell

Yeah, I got a man

Well, I got a man

Hey, I got a man

Yeah, Yeah, I got a man

Whooowhooo..."

I am having a fit when the song's over. "Not funny."

I try to straighten up and say, "Yes, you're right. Not funny at all." I then burst out laughing and so did he. I take the CD out of the stereo. "What rae we going to do tonight?"

"I was thinking we could have a romantic night. Just you and me. Caitlin and Joey are out until tomorrow and Angela's at Joey's mom's."

"Romantic? You're so adorable."

"I know." He says, grinning as he pulls into his driveway. I start to get out of the car and he puts his hands up to stop me. He gets out of the car, runs around, opens my door and hold out his hand to me. I giggle and grab his hand and get out of the car with my CDs. We walk hand in hand into his house.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Only if we can make it together." I say, grinning. We walk into the kitchen and decide to make spaghetti. We sit down on the couth after eating a romantic dinner. I see a pad of paper with lyrics written on it. "What's this?"

"A song for Downtown. I can't finish it."

"Want me to help?" He nods and over the next hour we turn the song into a duet.

We practice and I start singing. "I can't imagine all the people that you know

And the places that you go

When the lights are turned down low

And I don't understand all the things you've seen

But i'm slipping in between

You and your big dreams

It's always you

In my big dreams"

He sings his line. "And you tell me that it's over

Wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers

And your restless, and i'm naked

You've gotta get out

You can't stand to see me shaking

Could you let me go?

I didn't think so"

"And you don't wanna be here in the future

So you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past

And you don't wanna look much closer

Cause your afraid to find out all this hope

You had sent into the sky by now had crashed

And it did

Because of me"

"And then you bring me home

Afraid to find out that you're alone

And I'm sleeping in your living room

But we don't have much room to live"

"I had these dreams that I learned to play guitar

Maybe cross the country

Become a rock star

And there was hope in me that I could take you there

But dammit you're so young

Well I don't think I care

And if I hurt you

Then I'm sorry

Please don't think that this was easy

Then you bring me home

Cause we both know what it's like to be alone

And I'm dreaming in your living room

But we don't have much room to live"

"And Konstantine is walking down the stairs

Doesn't she look good

Standing in her underwear

And I was thinking

What I was thinking

We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs

And all that I could do is touch her long blonde hair

And I've been thinking

It hurts me thinking that these nights

When we were drinking no they never got us anywhere

No"

"This is because I can spell confusion with a k

And I like it

It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it

It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car

When the first star you see may not be a star

I'm not your star

Isn't that what you said

What you thought this song meant" I sang.

"And if this is what it takes

Just to lie in my mistakes

And live with what I did to you

And all the hell" he sang.

"I put you through

I always catch the clock

It's 11:11

And now you want to talk

It's not hard to dream

You'll always be my Konstantine"

"Konstantine, they'll never hurt you like I do

No they'll never hurt you like I do

No, no, no no no no no no

This is to a girl who got into my head

With all the pretty things she did

Hey

You know

You keep me up in bed

This is to a girl who got into my head

With all the fucked up things I did

Hey

Maybe

Baby

You could keep me up in bed

My Konstantine

Spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie Screen

And I said

Did you know I missed you?" he sang.

"Did you know I missed you?" I sang.

"Did you know I missed you?"

"Oh god I miss you.

And then you bring me home

And we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no

And you'll kiss me in your living room

I know

You'll miss me in your living room

cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room"

"We don't have much room

I said does anybody need that room?

Because we all need a little more room

To live

My Konstantine." He finishes the song with the last chord.

"Amazing. Simply amazing." I say. He puts his guitar down and kisses me. We lean back on the couch and-

Well, you know what happens next.