Title: When it rains in California
Disclaimer: The song that inspired this fic and the characters therein are not mine. They belong to better people than I.
Summary: Future-fic. Summer faces a major life change but can't make the decision without a little help from her friends.
Credit: The song Rains in Asia by Jump was the inspiration for this. Read lyrics a here /a if you want to see how.
A/N: This is as Seth/Ryan you can get without Seth actually being in the fic. Summer POV, with helpful Ryan, and just passing mention of Luke, Coop and Seth. Please give it a try anyway. You might like it.
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This is a home, Summer thinks as she runs one tastefully long manicured nail along the mantel of Seth and Ryan's fireplace.
Seth and Ryan, how many times had she said those words together? And yet this is the first time she's ever been in the house they've called home for the last 4 years.
Summer had spent the majority of her young life angsting over the drama caused by Seth and Ryan. It is funny that they are now the ones she ran to when her own personal drama overwhelmed.
Those teenage days of Palm Springs and Vegas seem so long ago now. And at the same time it seems like it all happened yesterday. She can close her eyes and picture her and Marissa lying by the pool, Seth and Ryan starting a fight at some party, or all of them playing video games in the Cohen living room. But it has been years since Marissa, Ryan, Seth and she have lived in the same State let alone city. The truth is after high school the confusing friendship of the fab four ended for the most part.
Coop could never keep it together in Newport. After a stint in rehab and too many irreconcilable differences with her parents, she left town for good. She moved to Paris shortly after receiving her diploma. Summer gets a postcard about once a month. The pictures they display are always lovely and serene. The sentiments written on the back always convey the fun and happiness Summer hopes Marissa has actually found. But she has her doubts. Coop was always good at faking it.
Summer had the opportunity to go with her. Marissa certainly asked her to go. But she didn't. It just seemed like Marissa needed a fresh start, a chance to stand on her own feet with no help or hindrance from the past. In the end that is what Summer wanted for herself as well. So she stayed home, the California girl in her too strong to deny. She goes to USC. She has new friends but none she's close too. She likes it that way. She would be totally anonymous at school if it weren't for Luke. They both take Calculus with Dr. Tatum and sometimes go for coffee after class.
Luke missed the sunshine and moved back. Summer's not sure if it was Portland's crappy weather or something else, but the time there matured the boy. He never asks her why she doesn't mention the good old days. He never brings up Seth and Ryan, or Coop. She thinks maybe it is because he misses them too.
Seth and Ryan wasted no time leaving California. Ryan earned a scholarship and early admittance to Cooper Union's School of Architecture in New York. After the drama of Senior Year (Theresa NOT losing the baby, Ryan finding out and almost leaving again before finding out the baby was Eddie's), Ryan was more than ready to start a new life as far away from Chino as possible. No one was shocked when Seth applied to NYU and followed him.
Now four years later, so has Summer. When Ryan answers the door a jolt of pure nostalgia shoots through her as his eyebrows lift in a typical Ryan gesture of confusion. He always knew how to talk without speaking. She finds that trait especially appreciated today because she has no words herself. She has no idea why she is here. Ryan in another in characteristic move offers her coffee and the time to figure it out.
In the three minutes it takes to discover Seth doesn't dust she's no closer to understanding. Ryan returns from the kitchen. Summer thinks he looks older but in a good way. He doesn't seem tired or worn out or worried about anything. He always did before. "You look happy."
Ryan smiles. "I am."
Summer turns back to the fireplace and picks up a picture in a silver frame. It is a 5 by 7 snap shot of Seth and a dog. Seth is wearing a Skater Hoodie, wild hair, laughing eyes, and the biggest grin shows from beneath the hood. In the captured moment the puppy is barking, wet from rain and not enjoying it. It is the cutest pug Summer has ever seen. "He looks happy too."
Ryan doesn't bother to ask if she means the puppy with the hot pink polka dotted collar or Seth. He just gestures for her to take a seat and places a cup of coffee in front of her when she complies. "You want me to ask or you want to wait until Seth gets home from work?"
Summer shrugs. For four years she'd been avoiding Seth on holidays and politely declining his sporadic "come visit" emails. She's kind of glad he's not here yet because she's suddenly worried the reunion will be awkward. It is a stupid thought. Seth won't hold it against her.
There have been many emails and even short phone calls throughout the years. Seth's emails are like club newsletters, keeping her up to date with all the facts. Summer always tries to keep her replies short and sweet and not revealing like Coop's postcards. But despite how hard she makes it Seth still keeps in touch.
He called her when "The Nana" died and Summer sent her regrets with a charity donation and flowers in her honor. She knew when Seth flunked his first college course. He text messaged her – F- Bio-Chem – dreams of becoming Mad Scientist OVER. And she knew Sophomore year, if not the exact moment shortly after, when Seth finally came out of the closet and acknowledged publicly what they all had been guessing privately since Ryan moved to the O.C.
Summer knows, without Ryan having to tell her, that right now Seth is working at a small alternative radio station. He had sent her a Halloween card with a letter inviting her to Thanksgiving dinner at his parent's house two weeks ago. The letter said he was "utilizing his cutting edge, finger on the pulse of young America taste" to "create a unique listening experience for a small portion of the citizens of New York City".
Summer knows Seth is just doing it for fun. He is studying to be a teacher. She is sure he is going to end up teaching Robert Frost and Jeff Buckley to inner city school children like some bad Michelle Pfeiffer movie. He is going to turn into his father. Ryan certainly gets more like Kirsten every day.
"Go ahead and ask." Summer orders so Ryan does.
"Are YOU happy?" He sips his coffee and patiently waits for her response.
"I'm lonely." Summer says before she can stop herself.
Ryan places his cup on the table. On the side it reads 'Architects do it with Wood.' "Did you and Zach….?"
"No." It isn't the absolute truth. Summer feels the tears coming and she lets them. In California she had to be strong because she had no one to lean on. Finally admitting to herself why she came here, she throws herself in Ryan's arms. "He asked me to marry him."
Ryan hugs her as she cries, patting her back, and brushing her curls away from his face. "So you left town? What are you from Chino?"
Summer is surprised and it shocks a giggle out of her. It isn't like Ryan to cut tension with humor. But she should be the first to admit that dating Seth can change you. "He asked like out of the blue, no lead up, and I froze. I was stuttering. Then I left. I went shopping. I bought a suitcase, 5 outfits, and a plane ticket here." Summer puts her thumb and index finger about an inch apart. "I was like this close to flying to Paris." She slaps Ryan's shoulder hard. "This is all your fault."
Ryan ignores the violence and doesn't argue. He places a comforting hand on her arm. "Probably."
It is. She figured that out on the plane ride. If Ryan hadn't come to Newport all those years ago he never would have hooked up with Marissa. Summer would never have noticed Seth. Seth would have never won her heart only to break it when he chose Anna. He would never have broken it again when he ran away to Portland. And she never would have like Zach with his Sethy ways but decisively more open, less in denial, non-gay Zachish nature.
"Zach's a great guy." Ryan states as if she hadn't noticed.
Summer rolls her eyes. "Yeah I've been with him for like 5 years now I know. And what a shocker that you agree – he's only like exactly like your boyfriend."
"Not exactly." Ryan smirks and waits a beat to continue. "So what's the problem? You don't love him?"
'I wish' Summer thinks but says "Of course I do." out loud. "I just…I don't believe in marriage. Surely YOU understand that?"
"Is that why you came here? You thought the gay guys would have your back?" Ryan questions softly but firmly. "Summer we can't get married, that doesn't mean I don't want to."
"You could get married." Summer argues and when Ryan comes back with "but it wouldn't be legal in most states" Summer interrupts him. "I didn't come here to discuss politics."
"Which brings us back to the 64,000 dollar question- why ARE you here?." Ryan demands.
Summer blinks. Yeah New York Ryan is definitely Seth-a-licious. Giving her penchant for smartass boys she should probably find Ryan more endearing. Instead it pisses her off. "You left." She shouts. "And he left – AGAIN. And Coop left. All of you just started these perfect little lives. And who cares if Summer is all alone? Who cares is Summer misses her friends? Who cares if I need someone to talk to? Who cares…"
Ryan's eyes get larger and larger the more she reveals until he physically stops her rant by placing a hand over her mouth.
When he lets go Summer takes a deep breath and gets a hold of herself. She swallows and gives Ryan her most sheepish look. "Effective method of shutting up a crazy person you have there."
"I live with Seth." Ryan places his hand on her knee and squeezes. "And we care. Seth especially."
Summer knows it is true. She is the one who never calls. She is the one who decided she was better off without friends. "I'm scared."
"Of?" Ryan prompts when she doesn't elaborate.
"Marriage doesn't work. It's all just a big waiting room where you acquire kids, mortgages, and emotional scars until it is your turn to get divorced."
Ryan frowns at the cynicism. "Not always."
"Oh yeah cause we know so many people it worked for. My parents? Your parents? Coop's? Hell Coop's mom couldn't even make it work with Seth's grandfather and he had one foot in the grave."
Ryan nods. "But Sandy and Kirsten."
"Fluke" Summer grabs her purse and digs until she finds a Kleenex.
"You want to marry him." Ryan says as she blows her nose.
"How the hell do you know that?" She mumbles into the tissue.
"Because you would be here if you didn't. You would have just told him no."
Summer laughs at the reasoning. "You know Zach looks real sweet and docile but he can be as stubborn as Seth." She yawns, tired from the long flight and the tears she cried. "What does it matter now anyway? He probably hates me. I just left him before he left me."
Ryan looks like her dad when she glances up to meet his eyes. He looks genuinely sorry for contributing to her issues, but unwilling to pity her for it. "Did Seth not tell you we are moving back after graduation?"
Genuinely shocked, Summer lets her Zach angst shift to the back of her mind for the 1st time since he proposed. "No…but I…I thought you loved it here. You have this great house and it's decorated. And you have a puppy."
"Simone is a lot bigger now. I think she can handle the mean streets of Newport." Ryan stands up and pulls Summer with him. "Besides we miss it. We miss you. And after you stay a few days and talk to Seth you'll have your fill and you'll be ready to go home."
Summer yawns again.
"And in a couple of months Seth will be there to help you plan the wedding."
The guest bedroom Ryan leads her to is beautiful. It is girly and warm like it has been designed with her in mind. She wishes she had come sooner. She sighs and feels right at home. "Ryan?"
Ryan stops in the doorway. "Yeah?"
Summer thinks she knows what she wants now and she thinks with friends around her she can have it. "You think Zach will forgive me?"
Ryan says that he will. He promises that he Zach will understand. And for some reason it sounds more like the truth coming from Ryan. If Seth or Coop had said the same she wouldn't have been quite as sure. Ryan has always been straight with her. So she lets herself believe.
"Ryan?"
"Yes Summer?"
Summer smiles. "Will you be one of my bridesmaids?"
Ryan pretends to consider it. "No but I'm sure Seth would love to."
She lies down on the bed, jet lag kicking in on the new coast. It is eleven here but at home she'd still be in bed hogging Zach's covers. "What – no mint?"
Ryan comes back in the room, pulls a light blanket from the closet and drapes it over her. "This is a home. Not a hotel."
'He's right.' Summer thinks as her eyes close. It's cozy and happy and it belongs to two people who love each other very much. It's everything she could have with Zach. Summer let's exhaustion overtake her but before she drifts off she realizes –it's everything she's ever wanted.