This is my first Buffy fan fiction so I can say with quite honesty that you
can expect the worst. Also, for all of you grammar freaks please beware of
my writing because not only is Buffy, the narrator or this story, having
many unstructured thoughts, but also my grammar/spelling is HORRID! So,
well, for everyone else. on with the story, I hope you enjoy it, and
please, please, please give me a nice little review!!!
Title: Forgotten Until Remembered
Chapter 1: Shall I Stay?
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I take a step in through the open door and suddenly I don't know what I'm doing here. Why I'm folding my arms and clenching my sweater's sleeves. Why it's so damn cold. I close the door behind me hoping that might be it. It's not. The place is still cold and so damn uninviting I'm seriously considering ripping the door right off it's hinges and never looking back. So I turn and begin to twist the knob, but then he walks in and it all comes back to me. Every last bit of the information breaks down the dam and threatening to flood me. Sunnydale with Mom, Willow, Xander, Giles, stranger, Angel, vampire, love, passion, no Angel because Bad Angel, spell, good Angel, no Angel, loneliness, college, no Mom, Riley. and then suddenly it all gets fuzzy.
"Mama!" The happy little girl coos in his arms.
Oh boy! Now I'm just being slammed by it all. Riley, no Riley, then something I can't remember, going away, coming back, slow time, painful time, Riley again, more Riley, lots of Riley, less Willow, less Xander, less Giles, still no Angel, Riley again and again and again, controlling Riley, bossy Riley and yes, slowly, no Willow, no Xander, no Giles. Sometimes I miss them and others too, but I'm not supposed to think about that. Still, why did they go away? Why do I have to always miss them? Always? Oh, yes. Angel=sex=bad, Riley=sex=good. At least this is how I'm suppose to see it, but how does this tie into. Yes! Riley and then lots of sex and pretty soon. babies. Well baby actually. for now anyway. This is why I don't have time for Willow, Xander and Giles. that's what Riley says. Beside it doesn't matter what I thin. I'm too listen to him, but why. No! No questioning that anymore! Already done too much of that.
"Mama?" She questions now and suddenly I realize that she's speaking to me. I'm not exactly sure how I forgot that "Mama" is a title of mine. Well more of another responsibility. Maybe it was the going away? Maybe. well it doesn't matter. I don't really like to think about that either. I shouldn't. It's best if I don't.
"Take her." He tells me, but I know it's not a suggestion or a request. It's a hard, solid command.
Gently I pluck her from his arms as he turns away, first giving me a look of disgust, and then disappear into the other room. Slowly, I walk up the stairs listening to what he's doing. Well, not actually listening. It can't be my fault for hearing him when he's making so much noise grabbing a bottle of something from the fridge and then flipping on the television, which is on the maximum volume. It's football again. I smile. At least it's football time now, which means I can get her to bed before he gets in his mood.
As I slip into her room, before I do anything else, I press the button on her noise machine labeled "rain". I will always find the fact that she likes rain best. Ever since she was a newborn she always like the sound of a rainstorm, especially if there was thunder. It was when the night was peaceful and quiet that I would hear her sobbing on the baby monitor. That is when Xander bought me this clever little piece of machinery. He didn't know why I needed it so much or why it comes in so handy. He doesn't know it keeps her from hearing that man downstairs.
Quietly, careful to miss all the creaky boards, I move toward the crib. Each time I do this I once again convince myself that if he can't hear me he will forget I'm up her all together. Of course, every time the same thing happens.
"Buffy!" He bellows.
In a flash I place her down in the center of her crib, giving her a feathery kiss on her cheek and run for the door. Trying my hardest not to trip I sprint down the steps, but the worst happens! Only five steps down, on a thirty or so step staircase, I am sent flying down to the bottom.
"What happened?" He yells from the other room, his words, to me, becoming barely a whisper.
"I'm not sure." I mumble, well at least my mouth moves, but I'm unsure whether words come out or not.
He says something to me, but I can't understand what the words mean. Everything is so distant.
A few moments pass, which seems like an eternity, before I feel a phone, which is placed into my hand. Without hesitation I press some buttons, which for the life of me I can't remember what they are. Luckily, I can hear a ringing in the distance and silently begging for someone to answer, I realize I have absolutely no idea who I am calling.
"Come get me please." I think I say and then everything goes black.
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Hope you enjoyed it. once again please review and tell me what you think. Reviews are honestly greatly appreciated!
Title: Forgotten Until Remembered
Chapter 1: Shall I Stay?
*
**
***
**
*
I take a step in through the open door and suddenly I don't know what I'm doing here. Why I'm folding my arms and clenching my sweater's sleeves. Why it's so damn cold. I close the door behind me hoping that might be it. It's not. The place is still cold and so damn uninviting I'm seriously considering ripping the door right off it's hinges and never looking back. So I turn and begin to twist the knob, but then he walks in and it all comes back to me. Every last bit of the information breaks down the dam and threatening to flood me. Sunnydale with Mom, Willow, Xander, Giles, stranger, Angel, vampire, love, passion, no Angel because Bad Angel, spell, good Angel, no Angel, loneliness, college, no Mom, Riley. and then suddenly it all gets fuzzy.
"Mama!" The happy little girl coos in his arms.
Oh boy! Now I'm just being slammed by it all. Riley, no Riley, then something I can't remember, going away, coming back, slow time, painful time, Riley again, more Riley, lots of Riley, less Willow, less Xander, less Giles, still no Angel, Riley again and again and again, controlling Riley, bossy Riley and yes, slowly, no Willow, no Xander, no Giles. Sometimes I miss them and others too, but I'm not supposed to think about that. Still, why did they go away? Why do I have to always miss them? Always? Oh, yes. Angel=sex=bad, Riley=sex=good. At least this is how I'm suppose to see it, but how does this tie into. Yes! Riley and then lots of sex and pretty soon. babies. Well baby actually. for now anyway. This is why I don't have time for Willow, Xander and Giles. that's what Riley says. Beside it doesn't matter what I thin. I'm too listen to him, but why. No! No questioning that anymore! Already done too much of that.
"Mama?" She questions now and suddenly I realize that she's speaking to me. I'm not exactly sure how I forgot that "Mama" is a title of mine. Well more of another responsibility. Maybe it was the going away? Maybe. well it doesn't matter. I don't really like to think about that either. I shouldn't. It's best if I don't.
"Take her." He tells me, but I know it's not a suggestion or a request. It's a hard, solid command.
Gently I pluck her from his arms as he turns away, first giving me a look of disgust, and then disappear into the other room. Slowly, I walk up the stairs listening to what he's doing. Well, not actually listening. It can't be my fault for hearing him when he's making so much noise grabbing a bottle of something from the fridge and then flipping on the television, which is on the maximum volume. It's football again. I smile. At least it's football time now, which means I can get her to bed before he gets in his mood.
As I slip into her room, before I do anything else, I press the button on her noise machine labeled "rain". I will always find the fact that she likes rain best. Ever since she was a newborn she always like the sound of a rainstorm, especially if there was thunder. It was when the night was peaceful and quiet that I would hear her sobbing on the baby monitor. That is when Xander bought me this clever little piece of machinery. He didn't know why I needed it so much or why it comes in so handy. He doesn't know it keeps her from hearing that man downstairs.
Quietly, careful to miss all the creaky boards, I move toward the crib. Each time I do this I once again convince myself that if he can't hear me he will forget I'm up her all together. Of course, every time the same thing happens.
"Buffy!" He bellows.
In a flash I place her down in the center of her crib, giving her a feathery kiss on her cheek and run for the door. Trying my hardest not to trip I sprint down the steps, but the worst happens! Only five steps down, on a thirty or so step staircase, I am sent flying down to the bottom.
"What happened?" He yells from the other room, his words, to me, becoming barely a whisper.
"I'm not sure." I mumble, well at least my mouth moves, but I'm unsure whether words come out or not.
He says something to me, but I can't understand what the words mean. Everything is so distant.
A few moments pass, which seems like an eternity, before I feel a phone, which is placed into my hand. Without hesitation I press some buttons, which for the life of me I can't remember what they are. Luckily, I can hear a ringing in the distance and silently begging for someone to answer, I realize I have absolutely no idea who I am calling.
"Come get me please." I think I say and then everything goes black.
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***
**
*
Hope you enjoyed it. once again please review and tell me what you think. Reviews are honestly greatly appreciated!