[A/N: whoopee, I updated! Thanks to all my faithful reviewers (ya'll know
who you are). Mwah! Oh yeah, this is the first chapter title that doesn't
have any lyrics from Rent in it. Don't let it scare you. Haha.]
Maureen entered the loft after returned from her band rehearsal. Mark greeted her from the kitchen table. Camera parts were spread all over. Apparently, he was trying to fix something.
"I told them," she grinned. "You should've seen Mikey's face."
Mark laughed. "I wish I could have been there." He fiddled with the camera lens. "How's your wrist?"
"Ok. Still a little sore. How's Mimi?"
Mark shrugged. "She just got back from work. God, Mimi is so quiet now."
"Yeah. . ." The two of them silently reflected on the past events.
Mark's sad expression was replaced with a grin. "Oh yeah, I bought you something while I was out today."
Maureen's face lit up. "Oh really? What is it?" She bounced up and down in her seat. Mark handed her a book and she read the title out loud. "Pregnancy for Dummies." She laughed. "Thanks, Marky." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He blushed pink and wiped off a trace of hot pink lipstick. "I was reading some of it before you got home. It's very. . .erm. . .interesting." Mark made a face.
"This is great, Mark. Really it is."
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. It was Scott.
"Is this about Roger?" Mark asked without a greeting. Scott nodded, and Mark called for Mimi. "Oh. . .uh, come in."
Scott entered with a grave expression as they all seated themselves on the couch. An unbearable tension filled the room. Mimi gripped Maureen's hand.
"Roger told me what happened." Scott's gaze moved to Mimi's cheek where she had failed to conceal the bruise with make-up. "And I wanted to tell you that this was my fault."
"What?" they said almost in unison.
"The night after the gig I was drunk. I wasn't thinking straight at all. A friend of mine gave me something and told me to spike the Coke, so I did." He paused as if he was too ashamed to go on. "Roger was drinking that night, but not much. He did, however, drink more than enough Coke to make him act irresponsibly. Roger was high that night. He never would have hurt you if I hadn't. . .I'm sorry."
They all stared in disbelief. Mimi began crying, and Maureen whispered something inaudible to her. Mark just sat there feeling out of place and wishing he had left them all alone for this conversation.
Scott went on. "Roger was too ashamed to come here himself. If you would've seen him crying. . .he didn't understand what had happened. He'll be so happy to know that you're both ok. I know it would be hard to find forgiveness for him. . .but this was all me. I can't stand to think of worse things that could have happened." He stood to leave, but just before reaching the door Scott turned around. "Don't worry about forgiving me. Just forgive Roger. He loves you, Mimi. He wanted you to know that."
----------------------------------------------------------- Mimi awoke in the middle of the night feeling cold. When it registered in her mind that it was because Roger was absent from his side of the bed, her heart sank. She glanced that the clock. It was one in the morning. Mimi heard a noise coming from outside her door, so crept out of bed to investigate.
Maureen was lying on the couch reading with a flashlight. The lamp Roger had broken many nights before was yet to be replaced.
"What are you doing up?" Mimi asked. Maureen jumped and shined the light in Mimi's direction. She squinted and shielded her eyes.
"Oh, hi. Sorry. I couldn't sleep. How about you?"
"Same here. Mind if I join you?" Mimi plopped down on the couch. She grabbed Maureen's book. "What are you reading?"
"Oh. . .Mark got that for me."
Mimi read the title and laughed. "That was nice of him." She sighed. "So what do you think of all this?"
Maureen shrugged. "I don't know what to think. . .are you gonna forgive him?"
Mimi paused a moment. "I want to. When I'm ready. Are you?"
"I don't know. . ." She laid back onto the pillows.
"But he was high. He never would have done that if he was thinking straight," Mimi protested.
Maureen chewed her bottom lip in thought. "It's just so hard. . .he almost killed my baby. That's not an easy thing to forgive. I would forgive him under normal circumstances but. . .I don't know. Things are so different now. I'm different."
Mimi laughed quietly. "I've noticed."
"What do you mean?"
"I never thought Maureen Johnson could get more emotional. I was wrong." She giggled.
"Hey!" Maureen whacked her with a pillow and pretended to pout. "It's all little Junior's fault!" She pointed to her stomach.
Mimi rolled her eyes. "Junior?"
"What am I supposed to do? Call my baby 'it?' That's insulting!"
"Insulting? Can a baby be insulted before it's even out of the womb? And even then, the baby wouldn't understand English. . ."
Maureen narrowed her eyes. "Well, Junior can hear you in there, so you better be nice."
Mimi tossed a pillow at her head and missed. "I can be nice. But first, let me work on my aim."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mimi was standing in front of him. She was beautiful...glowing in light. He reached out to touch her golden skin, to hold her. But another hand, one not attached to his body, struck her. She fell. He tried to catch her, but she hit the floor. And then it was no longer Mimi. The body on the floor was Maureen. Lying still. . .not breathing. . . blood. Red. Spiraling into a tunnel. . .red. . .blue. . . green. . .colors. . .and darkness.
Roger was jolted awake from his dream. "Rog. . .I just got back." It was Scott. His voice sounded distant. Roger groaned and rolled off the couch.
"And. . .?"
Scott shook his head. "I don't know. I think you need to talk to them."
"What?! Now?!"
"No, but soon. If Mimi really loves you she'll understand."
Roger shook his head and ran his fingers through his unruly mop of hair. "Yeah, yeah. I hope so."
------------------------------------------------------------
The next morning, Roger climbed the familiar stairs up to the Loft. He felt as though he was in his dream again, not believing what he was doing. He watched his own trembling hand move to the door. Roger knocked.
The door opened revealing Mimi. Her hair was down, and it fell down her back gracefully. Roger missed her hair. And her eyes. Roger could never forget those eyes.
Mimi stared at him a moment as though in shock. She gave him a shy smile. "Hi."
Roger was able to stop admiring her for a moment to get some words out. "Hey. Can I come in?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah."
Mimi opened the door wider and let him into the Loft. Roger felt like a guest after having to ask to enter. Maureen was standing in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. She looked up and her eyes widened. She dropped the cereal bowl and it smashed. Maureen hurriedly ducked behind the counter to pick up the pieces without saying a word.
Mimi turned to Roger. "Hold on." She ducked behind the counter as well.
"I don't want to see him," Maureen whispered.
Mimi sighed. "You know you're going to have to talk to him sometime. It might as well be now."
"Now? I can't do this now. . .just a little over 6 more months, Mimi. That's all I have left until I'm back to my completely normal self. Please don't make me do this. . ."
"Well, I'm not talking to him alone. You're coming with me," Mimi hissed and tugged Maureen up by the elbow. "Come on."
They made their way across the room (with Maureen muttering things to herself and rolling her eyes the whole time) and seated themselves on the opposite side of the couch from Roger. Roger noted how far away from him they sat.
"What? Afraid I'm gonna hit you?" he muttered sarcastically. They shrank back. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."
"Whatever." Mimi seemed to have overcome her brief moment of fear and was now back to her usual attitude. "So. . ."
"Look, I'm really sorry."
"Oh, that makes such a big difference," Mimi snapped sarcastically. She had almost forgotten her thoughts of forgiving Roger that had crossed her mind only last night. Now that he was here, it was different. It was more real. Maureen seemed too shaken up to say anything, but she managed to give him one of her signature eyerolls.
"What the fuck am I supposed to say, Mimi? I know it's not gonna change anything, but I had no idea what I was doing!"
"I don't know! Maybe we're just going too fast. . ."
Roger exhaled deeply. "Waiting isn't going to make this any harder." Mimi nodded. "Look, I didn't mean it. Mimi, you know I would never hit you. And Mo. . .God, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. . .or your baby. I don't even know what the hell I said that night. . .but I know it was bad. So I'm sorry."
Maureen nodded slowly without any emotion in her expression.
"So am I forgiven?" Roger looked at the two of them and smiled sheepishly.
"It's not that simple, Rog," Mimi sighed. "It's gonna take some time. . .but I think I can. Eventually." She looked to Maureen.
"I don't know. I'm sorry. . .I just don't know." Mimi gave her a warning look. "But I'll try," Maureen added quickly. Mimi smiled.
Roger stood. "Well, I'm gonna get back to Scott's apartment so. . ."
"Wait," Mimi said, then hesitated. "You can stay here and sleep on the couch. Maureen can stay with me. . .if that's ok. . ."
Maureen swallowed. "Um, yeah. I guess."
"Really?" Roger's eyes brightened. "I'll go back to Scott's place and get my stuff."
Mimi walked with him to the door and he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "Not yet," she whispered turning away. "I'm not ready for that."
Roger looked slightly hurt, but he seemed to cover it well. "Ok. Bye."
Mimi turned to Maureen. "Looks like we're starting over."
Maureen entered the loft after returned from her band rehearsal. Mark greeted her from the kitchen table. Camera parts were spread all over. Apparently, he was trying to fix something.
"I told them," she grinned. "You should've seen Mikey's face."
Mark laughed. "I wish I could have been there." He fiddled with the camera lens. "How's your wrist?"
"Ok. Still a little sore. How's Mimi?"
Mark shrugged. "She just got back from work. God, Mimi is so quiet now."
"Yeah. . ." The two of them silently reflected on the past events.
Mark's sad expression was replaced with a grin. "Oh yeah, I bought you something while I was out today."
Maureen's face lit up. "Oh really? What is it?" She bounced up and down in her seat. Mark handed her a book and she read the title out loud. "Pregnancy for Dummies." She laughed. "Thanks, Marky." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
He blushed pink and wiped off a trace of hot pink lipstick. "I was reading some of it before you got home. It's very. . .erm. . .interesting." Mark made a face.
"This is great, Mark. Really it is."
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. It was Scott.
"Is this about Roger?" Mark asked without a greeting. Scott nodded, and Mark called for Mimi. "Oh. . .uh, come in."
Scott entered with a grave expression as they all seated themselves on the couch. An unbearable tension filled the room. Mimi gripped Maureen's hand.
"Roger told me what happened." Scott's gaze moved to Mimi's cheek where she had failed to conceal the bruise with make-up. "And I wanted to tell you that this was my fault."
"What?" they said almost in unison.
"The night after the gig I was drunk. I wasn't thinking straight at all. A friend of mine gave me something and told me to spike the Coke, so I did." He paused as if he was too ashamed to go on. "Roger was drinking that night, but not much. He did, however, drink more than enough Coke to make him act irresponsibly. Roger was high that night. He never would have hurt you if I hadn't. . .I'm sorry."
They all stared in disbelief. Mimi began crying, and Maureen whispered something inaudible to her. Mark just sat there feeling out of place and wishing he had left them all alone for this conversation.
Scott went on. "Roger was too ashamed to come here himself. If you would've seen him crying. . .he didn't understand what had happened. He'll be so happy to know that you're both ok. I know it would be hard to find forgiveness for him. . .but this was all me. I can't stand to think of worse things that could have happened." He stood to leave, but just before reaching the door Scott turned around. "Don't worry about forgiving me. Just forgive Roger. He loves you, Mimi. He wanted you to know that."
----------------------------------------------------------- Mimi awoke in the middle of the night feeling cold. When it registered in her mind that it was because Roger was absent from his side of the bed, her heart sank. She glanced that the clock. It was one in the morning. Mimi heard a noise coming from outside her door, so crept out of bed to investigate.
Maureen was lying on the couch reading with a flashlight. The lamp Roger had broken many nights before was yet to be replaced.
"What are you doing up?" Mimi asked. Maureen jumped and shined the light in Mimi's direction. She squinted and shielded her eyes.
"Oh, hi. Sorry. I couldn't sleep. How about you?"
"Same here. Mind if I join you?" Mimi plopped down on the couch. She grabbed Maureen's book. "What are you reading?"
"Oh. . .Mark got that for me."
Mimi read the title and laughed. "That was nice of him." She sighed. "So what do you think of all this?"
Maureen shrugged. "I don't know what to think. . .are you gonna forgive him?"
Mimi paused a moment. "I want to. When I'm ready. Are you?"
"I don't know. . ." She laid back onto the pillows.
"But he was high. He never would have done that if he was thinking straight," Mimi protested.
Maureen chewed her bottom lip in thought. "It's just so hard. . .he almost killed my baby. That's not an easy thing to forgive. I would forgive him under normal circumstances but. . .I don't know. Things are so different now. I'm different."
Mimi laughed quietly. "I've noticed."
"What do you mean?"
"I never thought Maureen Johnson could get more emotional. I was wrong." She giggled.
"Hey!" Maureen whacked her with a pillow and pretended to pout. "It's all little Junior's fault!" She pointed to her stomach.
Mimi rolled her eyes. "Junior?"
"What am I supposed to do? Call my baby 'it?' That's insulting!"
"Insulting? Can a baby be insulted before it's even out of the womb? And even then, the baby wouldn't understand English. . ."
Maureen narrowed her eyes. "Well, Junior can hear you in there, so you better be nice."
Mimi tossed a pillow at her head and missed. "I can be nice. But first, let me work on my aim."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mimi was standing in front of him. She was beautiful...glowing in light. He reached out to touch her golden skin, to hold her. But another hand, one not attached to his body, struck her. She fell. He tried to catch her, but she hit the floor. And then it was no longer Mimi. The body on the floor was Maureen. Lying still. . .not breathing. . . blood. Red. Spiraling into a tunnel. . .red. . .blue. . . green. . .colors. . .and darkness.
Roger was jolted awake from his dream. "Rog. . .I just got back." It was Scott. His voice sounded distant. Roger groaned and rolled off the couch.
"And. . .?"
Scott shook his head. "I don't know. I think you need to talk to them."
"What?! Now?!"
"No, but soon. If Mimi really loves you she'll understand."
Roger shook his head and ran his fingers through his unruly mop of hair. "Yeah, yeah. I hope so."
------------------------------------------------------------
The next morning, Roger climbed the familiar stairs up to the Loft. He felt as though he was in his dream again, not believing what he was doing. He watched his own trembling hand move to the door. Roger knocked.
The door opened revealing Mimi. Her hair was down, and it fell down her back gracefully. Roger missed her hair. And her eyes. Roger could never forget those eyes.
Mimi stared at him a moment as though in shock. She gave him a shy smile. "Hi."
Roger was able to stop admiring her for a moment to get some words out. "Hey. Can I come in?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah."
Mimi opened the door wider and let him into the Loft. Roger felt like a guest after having to ask to enter. Maureen was standing in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. She looked up and her eyes widened. She dropped the cereal bowl and it smashed. Maureen hurriedly ducked behind the counter to pick up the pieces without saying a word.
Mimi turned to Roger. "Hold on." She ducked behind the counter as well.
"I don't want to see him," Maureen whispered.
Mimi sighed. "You know you're going to have to talk to him sometime. It might as well be now."
"Now? I can't do this now. . .just a little over 6 more months, Mimi. That's all I have left until I'm back to my completely normal self. Please don't make me do this. . ."
"Well, I'm not talking to him alone. You're coming with me," Mimi hissed and tugged Maureen up by the elbow. "Come on."
They made their way across the room (with Maureen muttering things to herself and rolling her eyes the whole time) and seated themselves on the opposite side of the couch from Roger. Roger noted how far away from him they sat.
"What? Afraid I'm gonna hit you?" he muttered sarcastically. They shrank back. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."
"Whatever." Mimi seemed to have overcome her brief moment of fear and was now back to her usual attitude. "So. . ."
"Look, I'm really sorry."
"Oh, that makes such a big difference," Mimi snapped sarcastically. She had almost forgotten her thoughts of forgiving Roger that had crossed her mind only last night. Now that he was here, it was different. It was more real. Maureen seemed too shaken up to say anything, but she managed to give him one of her signature eyerolls.
"What the fuck am I supposed to say, Mimi? I know it's not gonna change anything, but I had no idea what I was doing!"
"I don't know! Maybe we're just going too fast. . ."
Roger exhaled deeply. "Waiting isn't going to make this any harder." Mimi nodded. "Look, I didn't mean it. Mimi, you know I would never hit you. And Mo. . .God, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. . .or your baby. I don't even know what the hell I said that night. . .but I know it was bad. So I'm sorry."
Maureen nodded slowly without any emotion in her expression.
"So am I forgiven?" Roger looked at the two of them and smiled sheepishly.
"It's not that simple, Rog," Mimi sighed. "It's gonna take some time. . .but I think I can. Eventually." She looked to Maureen.
"I don't know. I'm sorry. . .I just don't know." Mimi gave her a warning look. "But I'll try," Maureen added quickly. Mimi smiled.
Roger stood. "Well, I'm gonna get back to Scott's apartment so. . ."
"Wait," Mimi said, then hesitated. "You can stay here and sleep on the couch. Maureen can stay with me. . .if that's ok. . ."
Maureen swallowed. "Um, yeah. I guess."
"Really?" Roger's eyes brightened. "I'll go back to Scott's place and get my stuff."
Mimi walked with him to the door and he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "Not yet," she whispered turning away. "I'm not ready for that."
Roger looked slightly hurt, but he seemed to cover it well. "Ok. Bye."
Mimi turned to Maureen. "Looks like we're starting over."