Summery: I was bored so I decided to make up a messed up fairy tale where random X-People become the characters of old children stories. Warning this story may cause people to fall out of their chairs, laughing.

Fairy Tale's Gone Insane

Chapter 1

Once a upon a time, there was a young mutant girl named Jubilee, who was extremely bored with everyday life. She found blasting bad guys with her fireworks no longer entertaining nor did she find putting itching powder in Scott's underwear drawer amusing anymore. She sat on the front steps of the X-Mansion and sighed, "Oh, I wish there was something to do." Just then a little green pimp suit popped in front of her, "Whoa! Who the heck are you?"

He took off his green pimp hat and bowed, "I am your Magical Pimp Daddy here to make your wish come true."

"Exsqueeze me?" she said, blinking at the miniaturized man floating in front of her.

"I, the prince of Pimp Daddieness. Has heard your distressful wish and Pimp Daddy is gonna grant you your wish, baby, cause Pimp Daddy don't like to see pretty girls frown."

Jubilee poked at Pimp Daddy, still not believing that the little man was real. "So you can grant my wish, huh?"

"Yes, indeedie. You get one wish, but choose your words carefully, cause there's a lot of loop holes that can royally screw you over. Believe me. One time I wished for a High Class Bitchin' Woman and instead of getting' the honey that I was wantin' I ended up with Martha Stuart. Lucky for me, I was able to keep her away from me by giving her her own tv show. So what can your Pimp Daddy do for you today?"

Jubilee thought for a moment, but a question entered her mind that she just had to ask, "Can I ask ya a question?"

"That depends. Is it a wish or is it related to yours truly?"

"It's too you."

"Okay. Shoot."

"What are you exactly? Are you suppose to be an upgrade of a leprechaun or something?"

At her question, Pimp Daddy fell to the ground, and glared at her, "Just make your damn wish, so I can be outta here. I got more honeys that need their wishes to be granted."

"Okay, okay. Sheesh. Let me think… Oh, I know! I wish life was like a fairy tale, only more exciting."

Pimp Daddy looked at her with wide eyes, "You're kidding me right?"

"Nope."

"Okay. Here it goes." he cracked his fingers and popped his neck, then started doing a dance and a chant:

Magic is as magic does

Give me thy power, cuz

I got a honey

Who has no money.

Fairy Tale's and excitement is what she wants

And Fairy Tale's and excitement is what she'll get.

There was a loud thundering sound around them and with a snap of Pimp Daddy's fingers a large book magically appeared in Jubilee's lap. Jubilee looked at him disbelievingly.

"A book? That's what I get?"

"Not just any book, baby. A magical fairy tale book. Once you open it you become one with the story as do the people you know. But beware, once you enter, you can never leave, until the story has an happy ending. Oh, yeah, before I forget. I actually added in a few non fairy tale rules just so it don't get too boring for ya."

"Wow. Um… Thanks. I think."

"Well, my work here is done. Pimp Daddy is now off to help another honey in distress." with a snap of his fingers the little man disappeared in a puff of green smoke.

Jubilee looked down at the newly acquired book , unsure as to what to make of it, but her curiosity had gotten the best of her and she opened it. Sparkles rose from the book and the pages shown brightly.

"Wow!" she said, and then she was sucked into the book.

She was falling, falling down into a black of nothingness, until she hit something very hard. She closed her eyes in pain as she felt the wind being knocked out of her. Slowly she opened them and saw that she was in a wooden area.

"What the?" she said to herself, "Where exactly am I?"

"I dunno. Why don't you tell me, Jubes." said a familiar voice.

"Bobby?" Jubilee looked around, but she did not see any sign of her partner in crime, "Bobby, where are you?"

"Try looking down." he replied irritably.

Jubilee looked down to see a miniaturized, gingerbread man that had Bobby's features. The ginger bread Bobby did not look too happy. Jubilee though, despite her friends predicament laughed full heartedly.

Bobby rolled his raison eyes, "Ha Ha Very funny. Now do you mind telling me why the hell I'm a Christmas cookie and you're dressed as Little Red Riding Hood?"

Jubilee stopped laughing and looked down at herself. She was indeed dressed as Little Red Riding Hood and right next to her was a large basket of goodies. She reached for the basket and took a look inside. She blinked in shock.

"Jubilee!"

"Wha? Oh, sorry." she quickly covered the contents back up, "Well, I actually made a wish that life would be more like a fairy tale, only more exciting, and the Pimp Daddy granted it and-"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Back up for a sec! The Pimp Daddy granted your wish?"

"Well, he was wearing all green, so I'm guessing that he's an upgraded version of a leprechaun, only he gives you one wish." she paused for a moment to take a breath, "Anyways, he granted my wish and gave me this magical book. He said that once I open it me and everyone that I know will become a fairy tale story and that the only way we can get out of the book is by making our story have a happy ending."

Bobby blinked disbelieving to what he has just now heard. He shook his head and looked up at her, "You say that we can only get out of here if the story has a happy ending?"

"Right."

"And that everyone you know will be in this story world?"

"Right."

"Even Logan?"

"Mm-Hmm"

"We're screwed."

"Awe, come on, Drakester. Don't be such a downer. Who knows, he might actually be a cute little door mouse in this story."

"Only if we're lucky." he folded his arms in front of his chest and pouted.

Jubilee giggled, she got up brushing herself off, picked up Bobby and placed him on her shoulder, and then picked up the basket of goodies. She smiled at Bobby and said, "Cheer up. We're in a really cool fairy tale now. So that mean's we're gonna have loads of fun."

"If you say so. But I swear if I get eaten in any part of this story, I'm so kicking your ass."

Jubilee giggle and skipped along the way with the gingerbread Bobby sitting on her shoulder.

So Little Red Jubilee and the Little Gingerbread Bobby were skipping wandering around the woods, until the found a path. They took and began following the path to God only knows where.

Soon after a while Gingerbread Bobby became quite curious as to what was in the basket of goodie.

"Hey, Jubes."

"Yeah, Bobby?"

"What's inside that basket?"

"Oh, nothing." she lied, and he knew it.

"Jubes. This is me you're talking to. Come on. Tell me what's in there."

Before Little Red Jubilee could say anything a figure running in the distance had caught her eye. She squinted to see who it was. So far the only thing she could make out was a huge outline of them and they were running really fast in their direction. She soon realized why they were running. Right behind them was a rather large blue dragon breathing blue lightning.

"Help!" they screamed, "Somebody help me! I'm in a bad dream and I can't wake up!"

She and Gingerbread Bobby recognized that voice, blurting out their name in unison, "It's Remy!"

Remy was running as fast as he could. He spotted a young girl up ahead and moaned, "Even if dis is a dream… I can't pass up a chance to save a pretty-Jubilee?!"

Jubilee chuckled nervously, "Ha Ha Hi, Remy."

The blue dragon soon landed on the ground and reached out to grabbed Remy.

"Yikes!" Bobby cried, "We've got to help him!"

"Right!" she reached for her basket.

Bobby looked at her nervously, "Uh… Jubes? Isn't this kinda inappropriate to have a snack?"

"You wanted to see what was inside this basket of goodies didn't ya? Well, now you're going to get your chance." she reached in and like magic she pulled out a really, really big rocket launcher. "Remy, you better duck, unless you want to get hit too."

Remy's eyes went wide. Quickly he dove out of the way into a nearby bush.

The blue dragon looked at Remy, then at the little girl holding a really big rocket launcher. It's eyes widened and it started waving it's arms frantically.

"Say your prayers dragon! This'll be the first bad guy encounterment in our story!" she pulled the trigger and the rocket launcher fired away.

The dragon instinctively opened it's mouth and blew it's fire weapon it the incoming rocket, only to have it blow up in it's face. The dragon fell over and looked at the young girl with disbelief and anger.

"I hate you." it said and then turned to dust.

"Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Our first battle in "The Fairy Tales of Jubilee"!" she bounced up and down, then put the rocket launcher away.

Bobby looked down into the basket where she was putting the rocket launcher and gasped when he saw what all was in it. Hand grenades, crossbows, 22 magnums, dynamite, shot gun rifles, ammo, and many other things that a 13 year old should never have without a license.

"Uh… Jubilee?"

"Yeah, Bobby?"

"If this is a fairy tale story, then why do you have very violent weapons of mass destruction in your goodies basket?"

"Oh! The Pimp Daddy said that he threw in some non fairy tale stuff to make the story more interesting. Whaddya think so far?"

"It's definitely interesting."

The sounds of Remy rustling out of the bushes made them look up. Bobby folded his arms and pouted again. Jubilee on the other hand looked at Remy with a gleam in her eyes. Remy walked over towards them, not having to really ask he looked straight at Jubilee.

"Dis was your doing wasn't it, petite?" he was dressed as prince charming, all clean shaved and everything. He even had a sword.

Jubilee drooled at the sight of him, but answered his question, "Yep."

Bobby glared up at him and grumbled loud enough for Remy to hear, "How come he gets to be Prince Charming and I get stuck as a snack food?"

Remy blinked, "Bobby?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"You're a-"

"Not one word. Not one word!"

Remy turned to Jubilee, who finally snapped out of la la land and told him the whole story. Remy then looked at her as though he want to either kill her or take full advantage of the prince charming role.

"So, ya wanna join our little fairy tale fun?"

Remy shook his head, "Naw, petite. Remy wants to have his own fun by finding damsels in distress."

"Hey! What about me?!"

"You ain't no damsel and you surely ain't in distress, petite. You just incurably crazy. Well, Remy be seein' you later. Have fun with your story, petite."

Without a second glance Remy turned back around and headed off on his own little fairy tale adventure.

Note: Hey, I keep everyone that they meet all together. Otherwise there wouldn't be a fairy tale to tell and there'd just be too many people to keep track of.