Here's a little question for you and the reviewers whose sexual preference is men.
Do you prefer:
A) The wonderful guy that's always there for you, is ready to step in no matter what and absolutely adores you, but in a comfortable, non-forceful way
B) That dominant guy, he may be a controlling asshole, but deep down he's got a soft side and you know that at the end of the day you're the real one calling all the shots
C) An obsessive guy whose name you can never quite remember. He became infatuated with you at first sight, is constantly bombarding you with personal questions, and is always trying to tie you down with plans.
Not physical attractions, just personality… so… please tell me what you think. If you can find a convincing argument for how C can be a great guy and should be somehow worked into this story than I will comply. Be forewarned because you will have to use some master debater skills in order to accomplish this feat.
Title: Forgotten Until Remembered
Chapter 5: A Memory Drifts to the Surface
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I'm not sure how long it's been, but in the very least I've heard the Grandfather Clock, one of the few pieces he let me keep from my childhood home, chime twice. Whether these were an hour apart or mere seconds, I don't know. It seems like I've broken away from reality. Not in any way like I've stepped out of it. No, that I could handle. If I'd stepped out of it, I'd be free. Free of these painful restraints and the longing for my lost, twisted memories. I suppose I'd have to call Willow if I would want that.
Willow… A memory floods back into my mind, as I dangle between being lost to the void of nothingness and the snapping cords holding me to Buffy. I'm not sure, which I would like better. Not knowing, not being anything, but empty or trying to fill the bitter, hungry emptiness within Buffy. I'm not sure who she is anymore. Not sure I could even been her again.
But that memory. We're sitting on a park bench, a little over two years ago. She's smiling brightly at me, but I can see tears waiting to fall at the corners of her eyes.
'Buffy… I'm not going to forget you, ever. You are my best friend. You introduced me to a whole new world, not that every moment has been cherry sunshine in Sunnydale. Still, we've had fun and I know we've always been completely honest with each other. You are one of the strongest things in my life. You see me for who I am and have accepted me along every step of this transition. No matter what you think, or he's led you to think, you are so strong. Not just your Slayer strength, but mentally. I've seen you break your way out of the holdings of much greater foes and kept yourself going one hundred percent, even when your body was refusing to continue to fight. This is why I know in my heart that you can fight this. Buffy, he doesn't deserve you in any way. I know you've been through a lot, but I know you're stronger and smarter than this. You've never submitted to anything, Buffy. You're amazing and I know in you heart you will make the right decision, and leave Riley.'
These words have floated back to me, more than one in the last few years, but never had I had the vivid memory of my reaction. Without words, some kind of vicious anger exploded within me and I raised my fist, intending to strike her. I only hesitated momentarily, a shred of my humane reasoning stepping out, but that name, Riley. It set my hate on fire, and thus began my self loss to the flames.
I made contact, but not with her face, which for some reason I cannot remember what it looks likes. Instead, I slammed down on her force field. I can remember a jerk as the blackness within her started to give rise to black veins, but the beauty within her, that newfound enormously strong goodness suppressed her inner daemon. If only I was that strong, Willow.
"If only I was that strong, Willow." I hear myself say aloud, and feel the plastic phone against my ear.
"Buffy." A distant voice answers.
I'm not crying. I've already done all of that that I can do, but she is. She's not just crying. She's sobbing and in some ways laughing.
"Buffy. Buffy! Buffy! My god, Xander! Xander it's Buffy!" She yells and I have to pull the phone away from my ear.
"Buffy? Willow are you high?" That still familiar voice yells, but it is fainter. Still, my Slayer hearing picks it up.
"Very funny, Xander. But I'm not lying! This is Buffy. Buffy. Oh my god. Buffy!"
"If only I was that strong, Willow." I can't quite hear if I'm saying it or just thinking it, but I do hear the click of the phone.
If only I were that strong. If only…
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Not the longest, but anyway… it's very late and I have school tomorrow. So, please review and I promise to get another one up as soon as possible. Also, if you can, please include your answer to my question at the top. Thanxs a ton, reviewers!