Disclaimer: Go ahead. Sue me if ya want. I ain't got shit. But technically I do own my pants, which I'm not wearing right now. Yup, I'm writing without pants on. It's so liberating…

Author's Note: Here's chapter 3. This is how far I got with the original. Just to warn you, I'm going over-seas on vacation for a while, so don't expect chapter 4 for another 3 weeks at least, unless I get shot. I am going to Israel... See you all around mid December. I love you all dearly, except those who read and don't review, in which case you make me cry.

CHAPTER 3: (insert name here)

After returning from the Hospital Wing for the second time in two days, (the grease from Snape's hair had soaked into their skin, and they had caught fire when trying to burn there robes), Harry and Ron were at breakfast discussing the days course of action. They had agreed that following Hermione and carefully monitoring her and recording any information unearthed by Ginny.

"Following them will be easy. We can use our secret ninja training…" Ron whispered.

"But Ron…"

"And we'll take out anyone who goes near Hermione or my baby sister…" He whispered again.

"Ron ix-nay on the…"

"We can also use it to sneak into the girls' showers…" Ron, drooling slightly.

"Hey! We don't have ninja powers Ron." Harry finally stated.

"Oh yeah, I get it, we definitely don't have ninja powers. Nope, no powers here" Ron said, winking at Harry.

The dynamic duo, now finished with their food stood up and left the Great Hall, discussing ways of tracking Hermione without unveiling their super secret ninja training. Eventually they came to the obvious answer of Harry's invisibility cloak. Just then they walked into something very much solid and very much invisible. Coincidence? Well yes actually it was, but no matter.

"IS THAT YOU IVAN? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Ron shouted, while groping around in front of him.

"Ron, who the bloody hell is Ivan?" Harry asked. "I didn't even know there was an Ivan at Hogwarts."

"…Come to think of it… I don't know anyone named Ivan… And you're right Harry, I don't think we do have an Ivan in the school…" Harry and Ron stood their utterly perplexed, contemplating the invisible phenomenon which most likely was not in fact Ivan, when a familiar voice came from nowhere.

"Maybe we shouldn't have experimented on him as a baby…I kind of almost feel sort of in the least bit remorseful. I didn't think that was possible." It said.

"Nah… it was too much fun not to…" said another, identical voice. "Plus, he's so dumb its fun to watch him try to think. You can almost smell the fire..."

"Fred? George? Is that you? Where are you?" Harry asked.

"Harry, it can't be my brothers. They left remember?" mused the match-stick headed man.

"Hence the sneaking in part, Ronald my boy." said one, while they whipped off Harry's invisibility cloak. "We're here on top secret business." said the twin that Harry and Ron figured must be George, due to the fact that the sweater he was wearing had a large letter "F" on it. "Ginny said she had urgent business for us. She told us to nick your cloak as not to be seen. She didn't think you'd mind terribly." continued what was suspected to be Fred. "We also took your diary. Quite an interesting read."

At this Harry turned slightly green.

"But I don't have a diary."

"Then why does it have your name on it?" accused Fred as he manifested a small green book that stated clearly on the cover: The Diary of Harry J Potter. Do Not Read. Fred opened up the book and began reading.

"September 1. Finally I got away from the Dursleys, Its pure hell there. The train ride was pretty much the same as usual. Malfoy bothered us, we cursed him, Neville lost track Trevor, Hermione read, and Ron stared at her. But while they were out at their Prefects meeting me and Ginny made out like wild pigs. It was crazy! She also has a really nice ass, I love squeezing it while we kiss. It's so nice and squishy. Ron, Fred, George, and all of her other siblings would probably severely injure, if not kill me if they found out." recited Fred, while Harry tried to find a hole to hide in. 'Oh well,' he thought, 'at least they haven't read more recent entries'.

"We never knew you felt that way about are sister Harry." said George calmly. Too calmly…

"Y...you're not angry?" Harry asked.

"Oh we're fuming." piped in Fred.

"We should go owl Percy, Bill, and Charlie right now."

"But we won't."

"You Won't?" Harry said relieved.

"We aren't even going to do anything about it."

"Nope," said Fred. "Ron's enough."

Harry then heard someone growling. He turned and saw Ron standing next to him, foaming at the mouth and a freshly sharpened pencil in his hand. He seemed about 8 feet tall, and Harry had only seen him madder when Hermione was involved.

"Aw shit… AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! RON WAIT!!!!!!!! OW THAT'S SHARP YOU BASTARD! AHHH!!!!!" Harry screamed in agony while the twins put back on the cloak and went in search of Ginny.

LATER IN THE BAT CAVE

"HURRY ROBIN! THE JOKER'S ESCAPED!" yelled Batman, grabbing his utility belt from a hook while running towards the Batmobile.

"I'M COMING BAT- hey wait a second… who the hell are you people?" said Robin, half-way to the car himself.

Batman turned around to see who Robin was talking to and to stared at all the random people just watching their every move.

"Holy flame broiled hobo Batman. They're just watching us…"

"QUICK ROBIN! THEY KNOW THE LOCATION OF THE BAT CAVE! GET THEM BEFORE THEY ESCAPE!"

IN THE HALLS AFTER MUCH RUNNING

"You didn't have to jam that pencil in my forehead Ron…" Harry said resentfully.

"You shouldn't touch my sister. Especially not her ass." muttered Ron, anger threatening to rise again.

"Well you'd touch Hermione's ass if you could. You stare at it often enough."

"No I don't!" he yelled with just the slightest hint of a blush.

"Whatever you say Ron, whatever you say…"said the baby wonder, as they headed for the common room.

"Hey Ron… What do you think Gred and Forge showed up for?" Harry said in the common room, waiting for Fred and George to return with Ginny so the following could commence.

"I don't know, Ginny must need help from one of their gadgets…" said the man whose hair, contrary to popular belief, was not in fact, on fire.

"I wonder why we didn't think of that sooner..."

"Because Ron is to busy thinking of Hermione naked, and you can't even find Canada on a map of North America!" interrupted George.

"…You guys are never going to let me forget that are you…"

"Nope." said Fred.

"Well what do you guys want now?" Harry asked.

"We want to come with."

"No way." Harry said. "You can't come."

"I think you should reconsider," said George. Or Fred. Or maybe even Tim. "Or our dear mother just might fall into the possession of a certain diary…"

"…You guys suck…"

"We'll take that as a yes."

"Fine but you've got to tell me something."

"What?"

"Do you guys no someone named Tim?"

"…No…"

"Okaaaay…"

Authors Note: There's chapter 3. Be on the lookout for chapter 4 in mid December. Until then, so long. And remember-

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