A Little Piece of Heaven

Chapter 2

As I got dressed in the locker room, I glanced at her. She was sitting on the bench again, running her fingers through her blond hair. She was doing that a lot lately. Just sitting on that bench, staring off into space. Her blue eyes taking on that slightly watery look, so I can't tell whether she's reminiscing about something good or something bad. I know my partner and I know that she's having a hard time of it.

She looks up at me, knowing full well that I'm worried. Our eyes connect and hold, each willing the other to speak first. With Faith it's all in how you approach things. She'll talk when she wants and not a minute sooner. She bottles it all up inside and gets more upset when I try and get her to tell me. But today, I can tell she wants me to ask. I know that she wants me to ask, she can let it all out. I know her that well.

I know she's stressed. More now than ever before. That Jerk ex-husband of hers wouldn't pay child support for his own two kids, leaving it all up to her again. At first, I have to admit that I wasn't thrilled when she told me that Fred was leaving. I always thought that you stay together, even when it isn't good. But looking at my own childhood, I don't know why I ever had that attitude. My own parents stayed together even when they hated each other. It messed me and Mikey up, and I sure woudn't want Emily and Charlie to be hurt. I love those kids like I love my own ma. In the end, I could understand and even appreciate why she let him go.

The thing is that there's no one on this earth who deserves Faith. There is no one better, in my books. The part that confuses me the most is that Fred had the best woman on the earth and he threw it away. He threw his marriage away for alcohol.

I guess there was a time that I was even in love with her myself. From day one at the Academy,she had me spinnin'. Then, when we became partners, our relationship became one of friendship and protection. In a way, it was better than any other relationship I ever had. There was just no one around who could put up with me the way she could and there was no one who could put me in my place the way she did. But she was married and I knew it would never happen. How could I ever expect that she'd want to spend her life with me? A screwup like me? I spent so much time trying to get over my feelings for her, that I almost missed meeting the current woman in my life. Sarah Richardson.

I chuckled to myself as I was buttening up my jeans. Sarah. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever met, next to Faith, that was. It was kind of a funny way that we met. I was out at my ma's bar one evening, trying to drink in peace, when this real cute girl walked up to the counter and asked me for a light. I had made a face as she asked, cause I hate cigarette smoke. She looked at me with a real amused look on her petit face and stuck her tounge out at me. "Is that the face you kiss your momma with?" she had asked, as she dangled a smoke from her perfectly shaped lips.

That kind of got me laughin. My ma, who had been listening the whole time, came over and dropped a pack of matches in front of me and gave me a wink. I had to admit that she was a looker. She was about my height with long dark brown hair and beautiful green eyes. She had an instinctive little pout on her lips as she let her tounge run over them, wetting them and drivin me crazy. I lit the smoke for her and the rest was history.

I didn't even plan on seein' her again. It just kindof happened. And we didnt even sleep together, if you can believe that. It just didn't come up, so to speak. I didn't even try. I guess that's when I knew that she was special. Special like Faith. For the second time in my life, I had feelings for a woman that I didn't even sleep with first. The same as Faith. It must have been some kind of sign. If I couldn't have Faith, I could have the next best thing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Faith looking at me. I turned to face her completely and she looked away. It wasn't the first time this week that I had caught her starin at me. I vaguely wondered why this time her stare was different. I mean, Faith has many different looks. I don't even have to ask her what's wrong. I can tell just by her look or the way she tosses her hair, what kind of mood she's in.

"What"?

She turned to face me once again. She pursed her lips together before speaking. A sure sign that she was aggitated.

" Nothin. You wanna go grab a bite or somethin'"? She asked , as stood up and grabbed her NYPD sweatshirt out of her locker.

I shook my head as I pulled my duffle bag out of my own locker.

" I promised Sarah that I'd pick her up from work tonight. How bout tomorwow, after shift"?

She opened her mouth, as if to say something, and then abruptly closed it. I could tell she was pissed. She squinted her eyes and grinded her jaw a bit.

"Later Boz.". She said, giving me a pointed look, before she walked out of the locker room and let the door slam shut.

What was I supposed to do? Run at her beck and call? I had found someone, finally found a girl who I really liked. Any other time, I would have. But I had to have a life of my own. I had to move on.

So, why did I feel like I was betraying the one woman I could never have?