Author's note: WOW, it's been a long time. First of all, sorry everyone for making you wait so long. But it has been really chaotic around here lately. Mainly with school starting and the loads and loads of homework dropped on my shoulders each night (shudders at the though). But in the future I'm going to try to update a lot more. But, the updates will probably be pretty small. It works better for me to not type as much and update more, than to type a whole lot and update like every month. Ommm. . . Did that make sense? Lol, anyway, here's chapter four. Oh yeah, one more IMPORTANT thing. I am going to be switching the first person narration between Tsubaki and†don don don, none other than the infamous Cassian's mother. I think you'll be able to figure out who's saying what. Oh yeah, another warning, the story IS going to get a bit darker. With that said, on to the actual story.
Disclaimer: I STILL make no claim over FY, and all related themes/concepts/settings/blah
I had really thought he had left me. Of course, I hadn't had much time to ponder over it, but†it just seemed in his nature.
"Chee," Cassian frowned at me as he turned away. "I'm not an idiot! It's not like I'd just leave the daughter of the Suzaku no Miko to rot!"
"Well. . . couldn't you have told me that instead of just running off like that??" I asked.
"Hey! If I had told you I was escaping, you would have wanted to come with!" He yelled back. "Besides, you'd only get in my way!"
"I would not!" I argued, even though I knew he was probably right. I wasn't as stealthy as I would have liked to be.
"Now, children" We both looked up as Chichiri placed a hand on each of our shoulders. "It is not the time to bicker, no da." He turned to me and made a slight bow. "Tsubaki-san. . .I'm sure you've been told of me as I've been told of you. Nonetheless, no da, I am Chichiri, of the Suzaku Seishi."
"P-Pleased to meet you," I said quickly, trying my best to be polite. Cassian rolled his eyes.
Chichiri smiled genuinely. "The pleasure is mine, no da. But, for the time being, I think we should take our talk elsewhere."
It wasn't until later that I found out the entire story. After Cassian had escaped, he had hid in the woods to try and regroup and figure out a plan to rescue me (or so he said. I was still a little skeptical about the whole idea). That was when, out of some blind luck, he had run into Chichiri. I was also skeptical about this. Cassian waved it aside without a second glance, but the fact that they had run into each other in a country this big kept nudging at the back of my head. Anyway, that was about where I can into the story and met up with them. Cassian had explained all of this to me as we made our way a long a narrow path, following Chichiri closely by the heels. We were headed to a small village that Chichiri assured us was just beyond these woods. Since night was already falling, Chichiri said he would pay for a room for us in the village until morning.
The woods suddenly and abruptly cleared and I found myself standing atop a large grassy knoll, the lights of the village in the distance. "Here," I heard Chichiri say, and turned around to see him handing Cassian some money. "This should be enough for the night."
"W-Wait, you mean you're not coming with us?" I asked.
Chichiri shook his head solemnly. "I am going to try and find Tasuki, no da. He is surely worried about you. The sooner I find him, the better, no da. Don't worry; I'm sure I'll find him by morning. We'll meet you two back here then."
The village was much smaller than I had expected. I followed Cassian closely as we made our way through the dark streets, watching with wide eyes everything around me. I couldn't help it. This was a completely different world, how could I NOT be fascinated with everything in it?
"You seem like you know where you're going," I asked Cassian after a second. It was true. He was marching abruptly through the streets without taking a second glance at anything.
"I've been here before," he said, sounding quite sour.
"Really? When?"
"When I was little, okay? Now shut up, I'm trying to think."
I glared bitterly at his back, but bit my lip.
We eventually did find an inn. Cassian was about to have a hissy fit when he discovered that we only had enough money for one room, but I smacked him on the head and told him I would sleep on the floor. That seemed to settle it, but he still eyed me warily, rubbing the back of his head where I had hit him.
When we got to our room, I was hoping he might be a gentleman and offer me the bed, even though I had said I would sleep on the floor. What had I been thinking?
"This is your punishment," Cassian said, falling down on the bed. "It's your fault we're in this huge mess so you can sleep on the floor." He threw a blanket at me, which landed over my face and after a few seconds of struggling, I managed to pin it to the floor. I fell down on the blanket and sighed. I was really starting to wish I was back home. I wondered if mom and dad were worried. . . .
Thinking of my parents reminded me once again, of Cassian's mother. I watched him warily out of the corner of my eye, itching to ask him about his mother again. I knew I shouldn't. I knew I really shouldn't. But. . . I wanted to know so badly! It was eating me away inside. And now that I thought of it, I knew that I wouldn't be able to get any sleep without knowing what had happened to Cassian's mother. Maybe I could just ask what her name was. . .? He couldn't get extremely upset over THAT, could he?
"Hey, Cassian. . ." I said, finally building up enough courage to speak. He didn't answer and for a second I thought he was asleep. I sat up and could see him lying on the bed, arms folded behind his head, staring intently at the ceiling. Suddenly he blinked roughly, shaking his head. He glared at me, noticing me for the first time.
"What're you staring at?" He asked. "Go to sleep."
"I can't sleep," I said truthfully.
"Well don't bother me about it!"
"Hey, Cassian. . ."
"WHAT?"
". . . What was your mother's name?"
Wham. The pillow hit me full throttle. I rubbed my smashed nose and clutched tightly onto the pillow. "You're not getting it back, you know."
Cassian had made it quite clear that the subject of his mother was taboo, so what he said next surprised me.
"You really wanna know about my mother?"
". . .Y-Yes," I said uncertainly, wondering if this was some kind of trap.
He was silent for so long that I thought he wasn't going to answer. Suddenly, he swung off of the bed, marching abruptly to the door. Opening the door, he turned to me. "My mother," he said, his eyes locking on mine with fierce intensity. "My mother tried to kill me." He swung out of the room, slamming the door so loud that the walls rattled.
I sat frozen in silence, trying to take in the meaning of his words. The room was deathly silent.
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20 years ago.
Have you ever had the feeling of something so heavy pulling you down, but no matter how you try, you cannot lift it from you? The feeling of suffocating when you're standing above the water? I felt like that all the time. Except for when he hit me. When he hit me, it was like everything in my body surged forward and my whole body started coursing with some unseen energy. A heat, an anger, a feeling of desperate helplessness. A feeling of frustration and anger so hard that it clouded my head, made me stagger with its overwhelming presence, and caused my stomach to fall up through my mouth.
I could feel the blow before it even hit me. His fists were so hard, like rocks, leaving my body bashed and bruised long after he had stopped. And I knew he could kill me, any time he felt like it. Snap my brittle neck like a mere twig. I knew he could, and I knew he would, and that's what scared me. But long after he had left me, I would be lying in the darkness shaking even though my breath had returned to normal, and thoughts would creep into my head. Thoughts more terrible then death. Thoughts that scared me with their reality. Fore, I had realized, that we were just the same. Him and me, me and that monster, I was the same as the monster, and that made me the monster.
What is family? What is love? The only love from the only family that I know are the blows carved into my flesh each day and every night. 'How could her own father do that to her?' I hear people whisper behind my back. Yet, no one has ever stepped forward to help me. Because they are afraid for their own lives. That is the way human beings are. All that matters is life, and only their own.