"Of all the pugnacious, puerile, idiotic behavior, I've ever seen, they take the cake"! I ranted to Sasha in the locker room after our shift was over. I

She had been listening to me complain about Bosco and Jimmy for the past few minutes and like the good friend she was, she never interrupted and let me get it out of my system. She knew all about my previous night and the episode in the diner that morning.

I had never had many women friends, but Sasha was all together different. She wasn't the kind of clingy girlfriend. She liked her own space and respected mine. We confided in each other a great deal and we spent some evenings together, just talking and blowing off steam. She was the only other woman on the force that I really talked to. I was friends with Kim, but now I felt guilty for being with Jimmy and not telling her. I knew it had to happen sooner than later...but I was afraid of how she'd react. She had moved on, but it was still going to be complicated.

The only people who knew about Jimmy and myself were Bosco and Sasha. What would be wrong with keeping this to myself for a while? It wasn't like I would never tell Kim and the others, just not right away. I didn't know what would or wouldn't be happening with Jimmy, let alone trying to explain it to an ex-wife and everyone else.

"That bad, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Bad doesn't even begin to describe it. You should have seen them rolling around on the floor, punching and...." I couldn't even find the words to describe their behavior, I was so mad.

I raised my hands above my head in frustration. "Ughhhh! I am so sick and tired of cleaning up after Bosco. He does nothing but act like a jerk. You know what they were fighting over?" I asked her.

"Do you want me to ask?" Sasha said, not sure as to what I wanted.

"They were fighting over her." I practically bellowed.

"Her, who?"

"Sarah. Bosco's latest roll in the hay. Jimmy used to date her and Bosco found out and that's how they ended up in the middle of the floor, rolling around like jackasses."

"Ohhhhhh. That explains it." Sasha said, getting up from the bench she was sitting on and walking over to me. She looked around to make sure no one else was within earshot.

"Explains it?"

"The reason you're so jealous, girl. You've got it bad for that boy". She said, nodding to herself, as if she had just figured out the most complicated of riddles.

"For Bosco? Puhleeze! I've got it bad alright! So bad, I may end up breaking his neck the next time I see him!" I said, angrily, looking down at the floor. I couldn't let her see my eyes. She always said the eyes could never lie.

"Alright then. Fool yourself. You can go out with Jimmy Dorhety and you can pretend that you're in to him all you want. But it ain't love. I'm not blind, Faith. You're in love with Bosco and he's in love with you. But you just keep on pretending." she said, as she gathered up her bag.

"Look at me."

I looked.

"Take a deep breath and close your eyes".

"Sas.."

"Just do it."

I did.

"Now, repeat after me."

"I, Faith Yokas, will promise to go home and relax and deal with all this hubbabaloo in the morning:."

I repeated her words and opened my eyes. I did feel a little bit better.

She patted me on the shoulder as she walked toward the door. "I gotta go meet Ty at his place. Bring him some chicken soup, poor baby. But listen to what I said. Call me later if you need anything."

I nodded, not quite sure what to say. She opened the door and turned back to me.

"Hey Faith?"

"Ya?"

"What are you gonna do about them?"

I shook my head as I walked to join her.

"Leave em. They can battle it out."

Sasha threw her head back and laughed. "You're gonna leave them in there all night?"

"Yep. That's exactly what I'm gonna do."

"You ok about missing your date? He did look nice in the dress pants and shirt...before all the blood, that is". She joked, elbowing me softly in the ribs.

Despite myself, I was starting to calm down a bit. Sasha always had this amazing way of mollifying me.

"Ya. I'm good. I'll see you tomorow."

We walked out of the station together and said our final goodbyes. I stared at the black sky and the stars above, wondering why Sasha could see right through me, when no one else could. The air was hot as I made my way toward the subway station. I watched lovers walking hand in hand, declaring their sempiternal devotion to one another. I watched others, who walked apart from each other, as if they were afraid to touch. I wondered how I had gotten to the point where I understood both sides.

I had been desperately in love with Fred at one time. I guess it was the first month or two we'd been together. As the years passed, I felt that space between us growing until we were just too far apart. Now, I was glad we had divorced. I didn't understand how I'd put up with it for so long. I had lost a piece of myself along the way. With motherhood, my job and trying to get along with him, there was nothing left for me. Until now.

I was facing an even bigger dilemma: I had certain feelings for my partner, which I was sure wasn't reciprocated..no matter what Sasha might say..and I had Jimmy, who wanted to start something with me. And I did like Jimmy. It was just more of a physical attraction than anything else.

Despite my reluctance, I had to admit that sasha was right. I was jealous that they were fighting over Sarah. Not only had I lost Bosco to her, but now my current interest wasn't above throwing himself into the middle of the floor for her either. What was it about her, besides her beauty and nice personality, that I didn't have?

I began to feel sorrier and sorrier for myself as I walked toward my empty apartment. I had been looking forward to going out with Jimmy. I had thought about it for most of my shift and I had even brought a nice outfit with me to work. Black dress pants with a matching turtleneck sweater and white pumps for a little contrast. Now, it hung alone in my cold locker. Not worn. Waiting for someone to put it on and wear it some place nice.

I sighed to myself as I pushed my key in into the lock. I opened the door and stepped inside. The kitchen light was on. There was someone in there banging the cupboard doors shut.

The skin on the back of my neck stood up. I silently bent down and un-holstered my off-duty weapon from my ankle and made my way down the hall.

I jumped out from around the corner and yelled "Freeze"!

My heart stopped as I realized who was standing in front of me.

It was Fred.