Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Rodeo or Jim Cuddy or Greg Keelor (sadly). I put them in this chapter because they are the best band in the entire world! Please do not sue me for this...I have no money.
I ended up taking Faith back to work so she could finish out the rest of our shift. She was lucky that no one had even noticed she had left.
She was able to slip in by everyone and go get changed. By the time she was back in uniform she and Gussler were called out to a domestic dispute.
I went home and cleaned up my apartment. Faith and I had decided that she'd come over after the shift so we could hang out and talk. Before she'd left the car she leaned over and gave me another kiss. It left me feeling like I was floating on air.
I had kissed a lot of women. I mean a lot. But not one had made me feel the way she did. Kissing Faith was like having lot chocolate on a rainy day; like going to the beach or sleeping in on a Sunday morning. She just made me feel so damn good, I knew that I had done the right thing by making the first move.
Never in my wildest imagination had I thought that she'd actually love me back. I thought that maybe she could learn to love me if she'd give me half a chance. I knew that from here on out I would do everything in my power to make sure that she was treated like a queen. I would devote every breath I breathed to making her happy.
I had to admit that I was a little nervous about this newfound closeness that we were having. It was one thing to be platonic partners but it was altogether different to be partners and be together. I hoped that we could work it out. What if we had a fight? Well, we always fought, but I was just starting to realize why.
Do you remember when you were a kid and had a crush on that one girl? The girl who made you feel so alive and special? How did you treat her? I pulled hair and pinched the girls I liked. When you're a kid, the only way to let someone know how much you like 'em is to tease them. That's what my ma always said.
It was the same with Faith; There was always the bickering and the back talk and the comments. I did all that because I was secretly in love with her. I mean, I couldn't very well sit in our RMP and tell her that I loved the way her hair smelled or that her new perfume was driving me crazy. I couldn't tell her that the very thought of her with another man drove me nuts. So, I teased her and acted like the biggest jerk I could. Not that it was that hard.
Now, I would have the chance to tell her those things if I wanted to. Now, we would be going through this life as true partners. I hoped that I hadn't scared her when I said that I wanted to be together. Truthfully, from the moment she kissed me, I knew that she was gonna be my wife someday. I wasn't about to tell her that, but the minute my lips touched hers and I tasted her watermelon lip gloss, I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.
I put on my favorite cd as I was doing the dishes. As I listened to the song, every feeling I had ever had for Faith came storming into my brain.
I'm an easy listening kind of guy. My favorite band on this earth is Blue Rodeo. In my opinion, no one can sing a song or put life into words the way Jim Cuddy or Greg Keelor can. As I listened to 'Lost Together', I felt an overwhelming flood of emotion run through my body. I knew if I were to be lost that as long as Faith was beside me, I could go through anything.
Strange and beautiful are the starts tonight,
That dance around your head.
In your eyes I see that perfect word,
I hope that doesn't sound too weird.
I want all the world to know,
That your love's all I need
All that I need.
And If we're lost,
We are lost together,
Ya, If we're lost,
We are lost together.
I stand before this faceless crowd,
I wonder why I bother.
So much controlled
By so few.
Stumbling from one disaster to another
I've heard it all so many times before,
It's all a dream to me now
Dream to me now.
And if we're lost
We are lost together
Ya, if we're lost lost
We are lost together
I finished the dishes and looked at the clock. It was almost 11:30. Faith should have been here by now. Worried, I wiped my hands off on a dishtowel and walked into the living room and grabbed the cordless and dialed Faith's cell.
There was no answer. She always answered her cell. It was like an unwritten code for us. Each of us always left it on and answered it when it rang. I dialed the precinct to see if she was still there. No one had seen her since the shift had changed.
I decided that maybe I was being paranoid. She was probably just having another shower or something and the phone was in her purse. Or maybe she had second thoughts, and had just gone home and didn't want to answer the phone because it was me. No, I reasoned to myself, she returned the kiss and told me that she loved me back. There had to be a reason she wasn't here yet.
By 12:30 she still hadn't arrived. I knew instinctively that something was wrong. I hadn't been her partner for all these years to not know when something was amiss.
I grabbed my jacket and threw on a pair of sneakers and slammed my door shut. I went to my car and started toward Faith's building. Maybe Fred was there again and was giving her a hard time.
My stomach started to tighten as I thought of him bothering her. Since the minute she had told me that she loved me, everything had changed and that included how I reacted to someone giving her a hard time. No one was gonna hurt her or bother her on my watch.
I guided the car down her block, watching the sidewalk for any signs of her. As I approached the building I saw the flashing lights of 55-Charlie. Sully and Davis had been asked to pull a double. I jumped out of my car and ran into the building, praying that the call wasn't for Faith.
My fears were right, as I rounded the corner and saw the door to her apartment open. I could hear screaming even before I got to her.
My first thought was that someone had hurt her and in thinking this I rushed into the apartment. Sully was on his radio and Davis was crouched down rubbing Faith on the back. She was on the floor, holding her stomach and screaming over and over again. Her blond hair was hanging in her face as curses of anguish flew out of her mouth.
"What happened?" I yelled at Davis, who had stood up when I came in. He shook his head and wiped a lone tear that had slipped down his face.
"There's been an accident, Bosco." He said.
Oh no. The kids. Oh, God, please don't let anything happen to the kids.
"The kids? Fred? How?"
He shook his head again and turned to assist Faith, who was still crying on the floor. She hadn't even noticed that I was there.
"He was driving drunk again. He hit a lamp post on Third Avenue. It was instant." He said, in a hushed voice.
"Ty. Let me." I said.
I walked over to Faith and laid my hand on her back. "Faith. Faith. Look at me. I'm here." I said, and turned her face toward me.
Instantly, she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me down to her, sobbing hysterically.
Sully was still talking on the radio. "Ya. We're gonna go take her to the morgue now so she can identify all three of them. No. It's gonna be closed casket...."
I turned back, angry that he would have the nerve to talk about that after what had just happened.
"Sullivan! Go in the other room, would ya? Can't you see that she can't deal with that right now?" I yelled at the older man.
Faith stood up and ran into the kitchen and emptied the contents of her stomach into the sink.
I stepped toward Sully and pointed my finger at him. "Get the hell out of here! I'll take her. She's not going with you, so just get what you gotta get an leave!"
He stepped toward me and pointed his own finger. "Listen here, you little shit. I'm doing my job. So don't you tell me what....."
"Stop! Just stop!" Came Faith's voice from the doorway. She wiped her hand across her mouth and held on to the frame to support her weak body.
Ty walked over and grabbed Sully by the arm. "Come on, man. Bosco's got her covered."
Sully shot me a nasty glance and then softened when he saw Faith walk toward the three of us.
"Thanks for everything..but I need to be alone with Bosco now. He'll take me to the mor...." She stopped at the word 'morgue' and ran back into the kitchen to throw up again.
I locked the door behind them and ran to her. Faith was now curled up on the floor in a ball, rocking back and forth, crying with so much anguish that it tore me apart.
Silent tears slid down my cheeks as I dropped down on the floor and gathered her up in my arms. She clung to me, as if for dear life. We cried together, each getting lost in the pain that comes from losing a loved one.
We stayed that way until it was time to go identify the bodies of Fred and the children. At that moment, I knew we were lost. Lost together.