(I don't even think anyon read this anymore... oh well R&R)
Dear Diary,
Hey Diary, I know it's been awhile, but I've just been busy. I made a new friend in band today. Her name is Kate. Something happened to her, but she won't tell. She won't tell anyone. She came out of the woods, all dirty and her clothes were ripped. It scared me. And it also made me remember. Remember what happened. I'd forgotten for so long.
It was dark that night, dark and it was beautiful. We had just marched in a show and decided to celebrate. We were driving in the car, me, Tara, and Parker. We were going out to celebrate, because our show had gone really well. Oh my god, the memory hurts so much. We were going out to eat at some Chinese restaurant. Tara was driving. Parker and I were kissing in the back. We were laughing It was dark. She never saw the fallen tree down. Time seemed to slow to a crawl. There was a crash and a scream. I think it was Tara but it may have been me. Parker was holding me, my head buried into his chest like a scared child. (Wasn't that what I was?) Blood was everywhere. The car had stopped. I tried to scream but was finding it hard to breathe. I felt him cough and I wanted to cry out with joy. Blood spurted from his mouth. I looked up and a jagged piece of metal shoved through his chest.
His voice was weak and soft as he whispered, "I love you Jen. I love you so much, I need you to know that before…" His voice trailed off.
"NO!" I cried. I couldn't lose him. As he lay in my arms and I pressed my lips onto his and then I hugged him, burying my shining wet cheeks onto his chest. As I held him and the life faded from him, I realized how in love with him I was. The stupid little relationship we'd been holding off and on for the past three months seemed so meaningless. I loved him so much, and he died in my arms.
I'd known him since we were both five and a bigger boy stole my doll. He took it back and gave it to me. I think I fell in love with him that day. He was everything I ever wanted, in a friend and other things.
Before that day, I was loud and daring and crazy. But now I'm not. Instead, I'm quiet and careful… and scared. I just, don't want to lose anyone ever again. I lost him and it almost killed me. I can't have someone die in my arms ever again. Please whatever god is out there, help me face whatever's out there. When I picked up the cell phone and called 911, and had to sit there and wait for someone to come and save, wait there with Andrew Parker, dying,in my arms. I could never do that again… I refuse to love anyone, its too dangerous…
Shit, my flashlight is dying and I don't want my parents to know that I'm still up.I have to goDiary.
With hopes of love and harmony,
Jennifer