Summery: Different take on life in Tree Hill. Peyton is a 16 year old in love with a guy who will never be good enough for her in the eyes of her father. Lucas has done a lot of bad things, living the life of a thug but is trying to change for love. Leyton all the way.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from One Tree Hill, just the situations they are in
Chapter 6: Lucas' POV
My eyes slowly open and I see Skills, wiping my head with cool water. I look next to me to see a plate with a small bullet on it and Skills lighting up a cigarette. I know what it coming, this has happened before, last time I had a bullet wound. I feel a horrible burning sensation on my back. I know it has to be done though. The only way to stop the bleeding without going to hospital is to cauterize the wound yourself. Skills knows what he's doing, he did this last time for me. My mind wanders to Peyton, she can't find out about this.
'Your lucky it was close to the surface but you'll be aight'. I know he's right, a wound close to the surface isn't a bad thing. It could've been worse but at least we got paid. That's a trivial thing to think about but that's what it all comes down to right? In this business it's all about getting paid, minor injuries don't matter. Death is the only thing that can stop anything. I want to change for her but it's hard. I like being able to give her things. I need to see her. I get up to leave, 'hey, you know you should rest or somethin'. 'I have to go see Peyton.' Skills understands, I know he does. I'm alright I know that. Minor injuries don't mean a thing. Everybody knows that. I'm a little sore but right now I don't care. Pain is nothing when you're in love.
Walking to Peyton's from Skill's house isn't a far walk and the cool air does me good anyway. I finally get there, seeing her will make everything alright. I know she's alone, I can tell, she's always alone if the porch light is on. I knock on the door, it's after 10 so I know that it will be locked. Soon after I see her outline coming towards the door and it opens. She looks so beautiful. This is my reason for being. She looks at me slightly confused, she knows something has happened, women's intuition I guess. 'Lucas, what are you doing here?' 'I needed to come and see you, I just had to.' With that she moves away from the door to let me past and closes it behind us.
'So are you going to tell me what happened to you or are you going to act like everything's alright like you used to?' She knows, why does she have to be able to read me so well? I have to deny everything. 'Nothing happened Peyt, I just wanted to see you.' She knows I'm lying, I can tell by the way her eyes change. 'Lucas please don't lie to me, just tell me the truth'. I don't want to, she can't know about tonight. It would hurt her and I promised I wouldn't hurt her again. What I did was stupid I know that but this is who I am, I lived the normal life for 6 months for her. It's just not the same. 'Peyt, nothing happened, I promise.' She just looks at me and slowly moves behind me. It confuses me as to what she is doing until I feel her lift my shirt. I try to push it down but it's too late, she's seen it already.
'Lucas, that is not nothing, what the hell happened to you and please spare the bull, I don't need that right now.' I decide to just tell her, she knows anyway and lying to her would just add to the pain I've already caused her. I can see it in her eyes. I slowly recalled everything that happened and she just looks at me. She's angry, she only goes completely silent if she's angry or overly happy and right now I just know she isn't happy. Her voice is still soft when she speaks, 'Luke, you promised me you had stopped doing all that, why lie to me?' I don't know what to say, I don't want to hurt her. 'I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want to hurt you, Peyton I can't change who I am. I tried so hard and I dunno I just couldn't stop.' I can tell she is on the verge of crying but she still speaks softly. 'Lucas, just go' I go to speak but she puts her hand up. 'JUST go, I can't deal with this right now. Honestly Lucas if you can't stop doing this for me, at least do it for yourself.' 'Peyton...'. She just looks hurt, I hate that look, the feeling I caused inside of her. I shouldn't have come tonight. 'Lucas, please just go'. I know better than to argue with her. She's mad and upset and I really don't want her to cry and so I just turn to leave. 'I love you Peyton, I'm sorry'.
As I walk out of the door I hear her say 'I've heard that too many times.' I know she's right. I should be better, better for her, better for myself. I tried that, I guess I either need to try harder or just give up. Right now I don't know which is better until I hear her slide down her door. She's crying, I made the woman I love cry. That feeling is worse than any other. Knowing the pain of someone you would do anything for, is pain that is no one's fault but your own. I hate the things I have put her through. From now on I plan to try harder, not for anyone but for her. I can't keep hurting her like this. It's wrong beyond comparison. As I walk away slowly, hearing her quiet sobbing, it pierces my heart. Maybe it would be better if she had never have met me. She sure as hell wouldn't be crying right now. Why did I come here tonight? I already know the answer, deep down I guess I wanted to tell her. I can't lie to her anymore, I love her.