A/N- sorry about the long wait, but I went out of town and then we couldn't update....Wahhhh!LOL. Here is the next section. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I didn't have one at the beginning, so here is one for the whole thing.(clears throat) I unfortunately do not own JAG and if I did Harm and Mac would have been together for a long time now. The show belongs to DPB and Paramount. Thanks.
Mac walked over and cautiously sat down next to Trish. Trish looked into Sarah's eyes and could see how much she loved her son. Harm had always talked about Mac, even when they were not dating. He had just recently talked to him and he told her that when he got back he would be proposing to Sarah. Trish, of course, was ecstatic to hear the great news. She had no idea that just a week later she would be telling his, what would have been fiancé, what she was about to tell her. Trish took a deep breath and began. "Have you heard from Harm lately?" she asked. Mac shook her head and stared nervously at her. "I don't know how to tell you this Mac," she looked down at her hands "but Harm.....he is ......well, he is missing Mac." Mac sat in shock and in denial. She didn't understand how this could be happening to her, to them. They had gotten so far and now they may never go any farther. She stood up and crossed her arms.
"MIA, has anyone looked for him?" she stated rather calmly.
Trish was taken aback by her ability to control her emotions. Even though Mac wasn't showing it Trish knew that inside her heart was crumbling. "Yes, they have looked for him." she stood up and touched her arm. "Sarah I am so sorry." Mac jerked away.
"Why would you feel sorry for me? You just lost your son." she began to pace the living room.
"I did not lose my son Mac. Don't give up on him now, he needs you." Trish walked over to the young women. She could see why Harm had loved her so. She was his complete opposite, well in most aspects.
Mac turned to face her. "Trish he is missing in Iraq. To me he is dead." with that Mac calmly turned around, went into her room and slammed the door shut.
Trish walked back to the couch and crashed down upon it. She knew this was hard on Mac, heck it was horrible for her too. Her son was missing in action for goodness sake. She only wished she could get Mac to believe that Harm would make it, and then maybe she would to.
-2 weeks later- Somewhere in Iraq
"Ugghh, ohhh." Harm fell to the floor. He didn't know how much more of this torture he could take. He knew he was trained to handle torture, but this was beginning to be too much. They would beat him to break, and then they would inject him with some type of hallucinogenic drug. It would cause him to fall asleep, which wouldn't have been so bad if it was not for the dreams or hallucinations, whatever you wanted to call them. Oh, those dreams, those horrible dreams. They seemed so real, although he knew they weren't. He hated falling asleep, knowing she would be there, at least as real as she could be. He would see everyone who ever meant anything to him, his friends and family, everything that they had been taken away from him. He didn't know how long he had been there; the drugs had really messed with his mind. Harm crawled over to the small mattress in the corner of the room, and gently lay down on it. He shut his eyes and let the drugs take over, knowing he couldn't fight them any longer. There she was like always, beautiful, calm, and as real as life itself. They were sitting on the couch in his apartment.
"Mac I love you." She scooted closer, and held him in her arms. It felt so real to him. He could feel her soft body, her warmth, and he could even smell the perfume he had given her several Christmases ago. Harm began to cry, and she gently comforted him. He wanted her to be real, but he knew she wasn't. She began to get up, and he looked up at her. He knew very well what was to come next. She would leave him, alone, hurting, and scared. "Sarah don't leave me. I need you. Please, stop Sarah stop!" he screamed. No matter how loud he screamed or how long he pleaded with her she would still leave. He knew that, that is why he despised the dreams so much. She was given back to him, only for a moment, and then ripped away from him again.
There was a large crash, which brought him out of his dream. He opened he eyes and had to squint because of a bright light. Someone walked over and quickly grabbed him tightly. 'Oh no, not again.' he thought. He didn't have the energy to fight, if they wanted to kill him so be it. The drugs quickly took over him again and he was lost into a fitful sleep. Where he was going he didn't know would he be okay? That too was also unknown.
A/N- Since it is Thanksgiving I will be loving and not end there. Here is some more to wet your appetites.:)
-3 days later- JAG HQ
"Yes, are you sure? Okay I will thank you. Yes sir. Goodbye." Admiral A.J. Chegwidden hung his phone up and slumped into his chair. 'How do I tell her?' he thought. 'This just can't be, it is impossible, not him. He is Superman.' AJ leaned forward and pushed the intercom button. "Coates get me Mackenzie, ASAP."
"Yes sir." she responded crisply.
He sat back in his chair and stared out his window to the fall sky. There was a knock at the door which brought him out of his reverie. "Enter." he said confidently, although he did not feel that way. Mac came in and shut the door behind her.
"Sir you requested to see me." she stood at attention.
He took a deep breath. Where did he start? "At ease Colonel." she relaxed and he continued. "Colonel I have some news about Commander Rabb." Mac stepped forward wearily and eagerly waiting to hear the news. "Mac," he sighed, God this was killing him.
"Sir?" he voice cracked. Him calling her be her name was not a good sign.
"He is ......he is gone Sarah, dead." He couldn't believe that he had just said that Harm was dead.
"What?' she asked confused. "How, when, did they find a body?" she had so many emotions and questions running through her head.
"Yesterday, there was a fire where he was being held. There is a body. They knew it was him by DNA evidence. I am so sorry Mac." He slowly walked towards her.
She couldn't handle this right now, so her mind just denied it. "No! No! No! It's not true. It's not, it just can't be." she was yelling louder.
"Sarah it is." he touched her arm.
"No!" she cried, jerked around and ran out of his office. She didn't know what came over her, but she had to run, she had to get away. She ran across the bull pen, down the stairs, and out of the building. Somewhere along the way she lost her shoes, but she didn't care. She ran towards the park only a few feet away from the office. There was hardly anyone around at this time of day. She kept running until she felt nauseous. She stopped behind a tree, and lost all of her breakfast and lunch. She looked up and there was no one around. Another wave of sickness hit her and she felt like she was trying to throw out all of the emotions she was feeling. She stopped and looked up to see the Admiral standing a few feet away. She ran her hands through her hair and leaned over. He walked cautiously towards her.
"Tell me Mac, no one else would know. It is just me, AJ, not your superior, your friend." he said gently.
She began to cry "Why him, why not me? Why now?" she was pacing back and forth growing angry at herself, at everything. AJ was surprised to see the normally all together Marine begin to lose control. "He has been on so many missions and he has never been killed. He promised me that he would come back to me. We told each other that we loved one another. He said he loved me. Oh god how can he be gone? I just don't understand!" she slid down a tree as she steadily sobbed. The Admiral carefully picked her up and carried her to a nearby bench. He had never heard such heart wrenching cries. They were full of hate, betrayal, love, pain, and so much more. He had heard his little girl cry and scream when she was little and that was painful enough, but this was ten times worse. He would never be able to explain what it felt like to hear her cry, even if his heart wasn't already broken it would have been then. "He promised me we would have babies together. I miss him, I need him." he gently rocked her back and forth. Soothing her like he would his own daughter when she had been little.
"I know, I miss him too." For the first time in years a couple of tears rolled down the old SEAL's cheeks, proving that he was human. He sat with her for a long time, until he took her home and put her to bed. Now all he had to do was to notify Harm's mother. How would she take it?
A/N- (sniffles) I know. You hate me, but pleas stick with me. Please review. I love all feedback. Nothing too negative though, please. I can handle polite criticism and help.