A/N: Sorry about the delay, been working on my other story. Don't own
Pirates of the Caribbean, or Kleenex. Imagine Sparrow has an accent, I
can't quite communicate it in his speaking parts.
Jack Sparrow had apparently passed out and was lying on the floor snoring. Elizabeth was still staring evilly at my hair. I pulled it back into a pony-tail so the highlights wouldn't be as noticeable. I ignored the noises in the kitchen. I wasn't going to investigate it. If a skeleton Barbossa was in there I would be like a screaming banshee, and I didn't want to be the one who screamed a higher pitch than Elizabeth.
"So...Katie...," Norrington began.
"Its Kat," I corrected.
"Ah yes, purrrrfect," He said laughing at his own joke. Elizabeth turned and promptly slapped him on the shoulder, hard.
"Ow!" He said.
"That's no way to talk to a lady," She said her English accent shining through every syllable.
"OW!" Will mimicked suddenly. He didn't feel as though he was getting enough attention. We all turned towards him.
"Are you hurt Will?" Elizabeth asked placing her hand purposely on his knee, and leaning seductively towards him, the sleeve of her white dress falling down on her shoulder. So far I didn't think Will was noticing that she was trying to get his attention
"Ow," He said again looking directly at her.
"What's wrong my sweet?" She had now positioned herself closer to Will.
"Boo Boo," He said pointing to an almost invisible cut on his elbow.
"How about I kiss it to make it well?" Elizabeth asked. She lowered her lips close to his elbow. When she had brushed her lips against his skin he suddenly jerked and sent his elbow flying up against her mouth.
"That tickled!" He laughed.
"Ohhhhh!" She screamed placing her hand over her now bleeding mouth. We covered our ears once more as the ear splitting squeal erupted from her. I hurriedly got up and grabbed a Kleenex and shoved it into her lap. She scowled at me.
"Now Kat, have you ever sailed on the Caribbean?" Norrington asked hoping to draw my attention away from the gore and violence and focus myself back on him.
"I've gone on a cruise once,"
"Cruise?" He asked.
"Yes, it's where people go and live on a boat for seven days and sail around these beautiful places. The foods not half bad," I said
"Sounds boring, you don't even get to kill a pirate?" He asked.
"Pirates!?!" Jack Sparrow suddenly sat up from his drunken sleep. "What?? Where?"
"Not here, Mr. Sparrow," Norrington said irritated at the interruption. "But while you're up, don't think that your sentence for piracy has been canceled. We're still scheduling you for a hanging as soon as we get into the next port,"
"Wouldn't want to miss me own hanging," Jack muttered.
"No," Norrington rolled his eyes.
"Luv, you don't happen to have any food here do you?"
"She isn't a bar maid Sparrow," Norrington said defensively.
"Oh that's alright," I said starting to get up to go into the kitchen, completely forgetting about the Barbossa issue.
"No, don't get up Kat, I'm not going to let him treat you like a kitchen wench," Norrington placed his hand on my knee.
"Wench?" I said. "Now hold on Commodore..." I began to defend Jack. I quickly pushed his hand away from me. Personal bubble rules had to be observed.
"Yes, now hold on Commodore," Jack mimicked. "Please, don't tell me you're not hungry. All you eat is onions, now that's not filling at all,"
"I do not eat onions!" He said outraged.
"Yes you do!" Elizabeth cut in. Both men looked at her in surprise. She had bits of Kleenex stuck to her bleeding lip. Jack stifled a laugh, and the Commodore looked away, exasperation etched on every feature.
"What?" She said at their funny looks. "Do I have something on my face?" She asked placing a dainty hand on her forehead.
"Nooooo," Jack said, winking at Norrington who rolled his eyes again.
"Yes," Norrington said after a moment.
"Oh get it off me!" She said seeing a piece of Kleenex float to the ground off her lip. She flapped her hands wildly. Norrington offered her his handkerchief. She snatched it away hurriedly.
"No one look at me! I'm so ugly right now,"
"Now luv don't be saying things that aren't true....well maybe it is true but don't worry your pretty little head....I mean...uh...never mind...," Sparrow trailed off. Elizabeth scowled.
"Pirate," She hissed at him.
"And proud to be one, luv. Savvy?"
"Why do you keep saying "luv"?" Norrington asked him.
"Because I feel like it...luv," Sparrow said sarcastically.
"Ewwww," Will said speaking up.
"What?" Elizabeth asked.
"He said love!"
"And that's bad?" She asked sounding outraged.
"Kissy stuff is for babies," He said turning away.
"UH!" Elizabeth said in horror, placing her hands on her hips the best she could since she was still sitting in a bean bag.
"But really, Kitty could you fix me something to eat?" Jack interrupted.
"Kat," I corrected him.
"Ok," He shrugged. "Kitty Kat could you fix me something to eat?"
"Umm, sure," I said heading for the kitchen. I heard Norrington lecturing Sparrow on the proper way to address a lady, more importantly...his lady. I rolled my eyes in Norrington fashion. The mysterious noise was getting louder now as I entered. It sounded like...munching? It was darker in here without my candle. I found my older brother's flashlight just lying on the counter so I clicked that on. The beam shone eerily in the darkness. I grabbed a pan and some milk. Macaroni sounded good at the moment. I reached down underneath the counter into a cabinet with my hand searching for the box. Suddenly I felt something slap my hand away. I jumped back and screamed. I heard the others run into the kitchen.
"My love are you injured?" I heard Norrington say behind me. I stooped down and looked into the dark space of the cabinet. There sitting among the boxes of cereal and a macaroni box was Barbossa. His hand was inside the macaroni box, and the cheese package for the box had been ripped open and was all over his mouth and hair and clothes. I heard a distinct crunching sound. He was eating the hard uncooked noodles!
"OH MY GOSH!" I yelled jumping back again.
"What?" Elizabeth said sarcastically. "Is it an itsy bitsy spider?" She pretended her hand was a spider and wiggled it around.
"NO!" Jack said behind me. "It's Barbossa,"
"What?? He almost killed my LOVE! Will protect me my daring!" Elizabeth said dramatically throwing herself into Will's arms. It would have been very romantic looking if Will hadn't stepped away at the exact moment to examine a crack in the tile floor. She landed with a heavy thud, knocked unconscious.
"Uh is she ok?" I asked. Norrington and Sparrow shrugged. I turned back to a munching Barbossa. "What's your name?" I said.
"Mac Aroni," He said looking at the label on the box.
"Where do you live?"
"In three cups of water," Barbossa answered reading the first part of the directions on the box. Amazing how a grown man with a gravelly voice could sound so much like a child.
"Uh huh," I said pacing like a harried psychologist. My mother happened to be one, she taught me everything I knew. "The best place to start with a seemingly deranged person is to ask them simple questions, that will tell you everything you need to know," She had said once. I glanced back at Barbossa. Deranged? Yes. Sane? Probably not. The lightening must have whacked his brain out too. He grinned up at me, still munching on the macaroni. I smiled hesitantly back. Grrrreat. Just great! Not only did I have a love sick Commodore, an unconscious shriller, a sarcastic pirate, and a mentally deranged Will, but I also had a fried Barbossa on my hands. Could my life get any worse? I just had to ask didn't I, because it did...
Jack Sparrow had apparently passed out and was lying on the floor snoring. Elizabeth was still staring evilly at my hair. I pulled it back into a pony-tail so the highlights wouldn't be as noticeable. I ignored the noises in the kitchen. I wasn't going to investigate it. If a skeleton Barbossa was in there I would be like a screaming banshee, and I didn't want to be the one who screamed a higher pitch than Elizabeth.
"So...Katie...," Norrington began.
"Its Kat," I corrected.
"Ah yes, purrrrfect," He said laughing at his own joke. Elizabeth turned and promptly slapped him on the shoulder, hard.
"Ow!" He said.
"That's no way to talk to a lady," She said her English accent shining through every syllable.
"OW!" Will mimicked suddenly. He didn't feel as though he was getting enough attention. We all turned towards him.
"Are you hurt Will?" Elizabeth asked placing her hand purposely on his knee, and leaning seductively towards him, the sleeve of her white dress falling down on her shoulder. So far I didn't think Will was noticing that she was trying to get his attention
"Ow," He said again looking directly at her.
"What's wrong my sweet?" She had now positioned herself closer to Will.
"Boo Boo," He said pointing to an almost invisible cut on his elbow.
"How about I kiss it to make it well?" Elizabeth asked. She lowered her lips close to his elbow. When she had brushed her lips against his skin he suddenly jerked and sent his elbow flying up against her mouth.
"That tickled!" He laughed.
"Ohhhhh!" She screamed placing her hand over her now bleeding mouth. We covered our ears once more as the ear splitting squeal erupted from her. I hurriedly got up and grabbed a Kleenex and shoved it into her lap. She scowled at me.
"Now Kat, have you ever sailed on the Caribbean?" Norrington asked hoping to draw my attention away from the gore and violence and focus myself back on him.
"I've gone on a cruise once,"
"Cruise?" He asked.
"Yes, it's where people go and live on a boat for seven days and sail around these beautiful places. The foods not half bad," I said
"Sounds boring, you don't even get to kill a pirate?" He asked.
"Pirates!?!" Jack Sparrow suddenly sat up from his drunken sleep. "What?? Where?"
"Not here, Mr. Sparrow," Norrington said irritated at the interruption. "But while you're up, don't think that your sentence for piracy has been canceled. We're still scheduling you for a hanging as soon as we get into the next port,"
"Wouldn't want to miss me own hanging," Jack muttered.
"No," Norrington rolled his eyes.
"Luv, you don't happen to have any food here do you?"
"She isn't a bar maid Sparrow," Norrington said defensively.
"Oh that's alright," I said starting to get up to go into the kitchen, completely forgetting about the Barbossa issue.
"No, don't get up Kat, I'm not going to let him treat you like a kitchen wench," Norrington placed his hand on my knee.
"Wench?" I said. "Now hold on Commodore..." I began to defend Jack. I quickly pushed his hand away from me. Personal bubble rules had to be observed.
"Yes, now hold on Commodore," Jack mimicked. "Please, don't tell me you're not hungry. All you eat is onions, now that's not filling at all,"
"I do not eat onions!" He said outraged.
"Yes you do!" Elizabeth cut in. Both men looked at her in surprise. She had bits of Kleenex stuck to her bleeding lip. Jack stifled a laugh, and the Commodore looked away, exasperation etched on every feature.
"What?" She said at their funny looks. "Do I have something on my face?" She asked placing a dainty hand on her forehead.
"Nooooo," Jack said, winking at Norrington who rolled his eyes again.
"Yes," Norrington said after a moment.
"Oh get it off me!" She said seeing a piece of Kleenex float to the ground off her lip. She flapped her hands wildly. Norrington offered her his handkerchief. She snatched it away hurriedly.
"No one look at me! I'm so ugly right now,"
"Now luv don't be saying things that aren't true....well maybe it is true but don't worry your pretty little head....I mean...uh...never mind...," Sparrow trailed off. Elizabeth scowled.
"Pirate," She hissed at him.
"And proud to be one, luv. Savvy?"
"Why do you keep saying "luv"?" Norrington asked him.
"Because I feel like it...luv," Sparrow said sarcastically.
"Ewwww," Will said speaking up.
"What?" Elizabeth asked.
"He said love!"
"And that's bad?" She asked sounding outraged.
"Kissy stuff is for babies," He said turning away.
"UH!" Elizabeth said in horror, placing her hands on her hips the best she could since she was still sitting in a bean bag.
"But really, Kitty could you fix me something to eat?" Jack interrupted.
"Kat," I corrected him.
"Ok," He shrugged. "Kitty Kat could you fix me something to eat?"
"Umm, sure," I said heading for the kitchen. I heard Norrington lecturing Sparrow on the proper way to address a lady, more importantly...his lady. I rolled my eyes in Norrington fashion. The mysterious noise was getting louder now as I entered. It sounded like...munching? It was darker in here without my candle. I found my older brother's flashlight just lying on the counter so I clicked that on. The beam shone eerily in the darkness. I grabbed a pan and some milk. Macaroni sounded good at the moment. I reached down underneath the counter into a cabinet with my hand searching for the box. Suddenly I felt something slap my hand away. I jumped back and screamed. I heard the others run into the kitchen.
"My love are you injured?" I heard Norrington say behind me. I stooped down and looked into the dark space of the cabinet. There sitting among the boxes of cereal and a macaroni box was Barbossa. His hand was inside the macaroni box, and the cheese package for the box had been ripped open and was all over his mouth and hair and clothes. I heard a distinct crunching sound. He was eating the hard uncooked noodles!
"OH MY GOSH!" I yelled jumping back again.
"What?" Elizabeth said sarcastically. "Is it an itsy bitsy spider?" She pretended her hand was a spider and wiggled it around.
"NO!" Jack said behind me. "It's Barbossa,"
"What?? He almost killed my LOVE! Will protect me my daring!" Elizabeth said dramatically throwing herself into Will's arms. It would have been very romantic looking if Will hadn't stepped away at the exact moment to examine a crack in the tile floor. She landed with a heavy thud, knocked unconscious.
"Uh is she ok?" I asked. Norrington and Sparrow shrugged. I turned back to a munching Barbossa. "What's your name?" I said.
"Mac Aroni," He said looking at the label on the box.
"Where do you live?"
"In three cups of water," Barbossa answered reading the first part of the directions on the box. Amazing how a grown man with a gravelly voice could sound so much like a child.
"Uh huh," I said pacing like a harried psychologist. My mother happened to be one, she taught me everything I knew. "The best place to start with a seemingly deranged person is to ask them simple questions, that will tell you everything you need to know," She had said once. I glanced back at Barbossa. Deranged? Yes. Sane? Probably not. The lightening must have whacked his brain out too. He grinned up at me, still munching on the macaroni. I smiled hesitantly back. Grrrreat. Just great! Not only did I have a love sick Commodore, an unconscious shriller, a sarcastic pirate, and a mentally deranged Will, but I also had a fried Barbossa on my hands. Could my life get any worse? I just had to ask didn't I, because it did...