After I left the doctor's office, I walked around Central Park, hoping to clear my head before I went home. I didn't know what to do; I was carrying another man's child and I knew, instinctively, that Bosco would not have a warm reaction to the news. Although, he had loved both of my children dearly, I knew that this was going to crush him. He hated Jimmy, positively hated the man and I knew that this baby would bind Jimmy and I together permanently.

With everything that had happened in the last few weeks, this was the last thing that he needed. He had looked after me, cared for me and confessed his love to me, only to be rewarded with the announcement that I was having Jimmy's baby. It would tear him apart, I knew that, and I wondered if I had the strength to tell him what I knew.

Part of me wanted to keep this information to myself and the other wanted to just go to Bosco and plead my case. Either way, I was keeping my baby, and no one could tell me otherwise.

But what would Jimmy's reaction be? He already had Joey and now, he was having a baby with Sarah. I'm sure the last thing he would want was another child on top of the two he already had. I cringed inside, thinking about how I would tell him. Even though the day was clear and sunny, I shivered to myself, crossing my arms protectively around myself, wishing I had some way to erase the past and make Bosco the father of my child.

To put it mildly, my heart was torn in two. I loved Bosco and I loved this new life growing inside of me. I would never give my baby up, but at the same point in time, I didn't want to lose Bos either. What could I do? How could I make this situation livable?

'Don't tell him', a voice inside me said.

'You have to tell him. It's wrong. He needs to know the truth', another voice pleaded.

'He'll never know the difference anyway. He will love this baby. Don't do this to an innocent child'.

'How could you live with yourself, knowing you lied to Bosco and robbed your child of its rightful father?'

I sat down on a bench, my head in my hands. I was sick inside with worry and grief over what I had done. I couldn't argue with myself. How could I not tell Bosco? How could I tell him? How was I supposed to do this so that no one got hurt?

I looked up at the blue sky and prayed to God like I'd never prayed before. I clasped my hands so tight that I was in danger of cutting off my own circulation.

'God, if you're listening, please tell me what to do. Please let me know how to tell them about this baby. This is my second chance Lord, and I want this baby. Please, give me a sign.' I silently begged.

I sat there with my eyes closed for the longest time, just waiting for some kind of sign to appear to me. I knew that it didn't really work that way. God doesn't just give us signs to let us know what his will is, he let's us choose as we see fit. The trouble was, that a lot of the time we don't make good choices. I had already demonstrated that by having the fling with Jimmy. Now, I had to suffer the consequences, but at what cost to me? To Bosco and Jimmy? But most of all, my unborn child.

I opened my eyes and looked around. It was a beautiful day and I hadn't seen one of those for such a long time. It was refreshing. I took the time to really see the people who were walking. Mothers, fathers, babies and small children lined the path.

One mother and baby, in particular, caught my attention. She was probably no more than 24 or 25, with long blond hair. She wore a white jogging suit with a white Yankees baseball hat. Her child was no more than 3 at the most, but what threw me was his face.

He was the sweetest child I'd ever seen, next to my own, with light brown hair and big green eyes. He was chatting away to his mother, asking question after question and pointing to everyone and everything he saw.

She stopped at my bench and sat down, taking care to turn the stroller facing her, so that she could see her son.

He was a dead ringer for Bosco. His face was shaped the same, his eyes were the same color and even his hair was the same shade as Bosco's. It was the sign I had waited for.

"What's your name?" I asked him.

He looked at his mother and when she nodded, he proudly stated. "Maurice and I'm three." He said, holding up his fingers.

I sucked in my breath, not believing how ironic this whole situation was turning out to be and smiled at him, tears threatening to break loose from my lids.

"Maurice? That's a wonderful name." I said

His mother turned to me, and smiled. "Hi. I'm Amy. It' s a great day, isn't it?"

"I'm Faith. It's wonderful out ". I replied.

Maurice looked at me curiously and pointed at me. "Why you sad?" He asked.

Surprised that he would be so smart and perceptive, I managed another weak smile. "I'm not sad. Why do you think that?"

He leaned forward in his stroller and patted me on the knee. "You have streaks on you."

"I was sad, but I'm happy now. You're a very smart boy, Maurice." I said, as I stood up.

"Bye." He said, waving his small hand.

"Bye, sweetie." I said, walking away as fast as I could. I didn't mean to be rude, but the way this kid made me feel, was totally something out of this world.

I went to the nearest subway station and made my way home. I thought about little Maurice and I knew what I had to do; I just didn't know when or how I was going to ever forgive myself for what I was going to do.

I stood in front of the door to the apartment and took a deep breath. Maybe Bosco would still be asleep and I would have time to think before I had to tell him.

When I entered the kitchen, he was asleep with his face down on the table. I called his name and he began to stir. He wiped off the puddle of drool that had accumulated on the table and sat up.

Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach. I gathered my courage and put on a fake smile. "Hi babe. How you feelin'?"

"Like crap. Where you been?"

"Oh, just had to run an errand. Do you want something to eat?" He shook his head.

"Faith, this is the first time in five weeks that you've got out of bed and you go off on an errand! Why didn't you tell me? I'd of gone with you or something".

"I'm sorry. I just needed to go out and I didn't want to wake you." I offered weakly.

"Faith. Where were you?"

"On an errand. I told you."

He stood up and walked over next to me, the hurt clearly showing in his face.

"Ya. You told me." He said, folding his arms over his chest. "And when were you gonna tell me about the baby?"

He must have seen the shock on my face, and it confirmed that he had found out my secret. And worse, it let him know that I didn't come and tell him first. I saw the look of hurt in his eyes and it tore me up inside.

I felt so guilty for not telling him right away, but he wasn't even home when I found out and he'd come home drunk and that pretty much ended the chance to tell him.

"I wanted to tell you last night after I took the test, but you came home in no condition to hear that kind of news and I went to the doctor to be one hundred percent sure....I'm sorry." I said lamely, knowing that it wasn't a good enough excuse for my actions.

He pursed his lips together and looked away for a moment, as if contemplating what to say next. I could tell he was conflicted about the way he was feeling. He was hurt that I hadn't told him right away, and yet, I could tell that beneath the surface that he wasn't all that upset about the pregnancy aspect. If he was really upset I would have heard it by now.

I held my breath and looked at him, waiting for him to speak. He turned back to me, the raw emotion in his eyes said it all, as his face relaxed.

"I would have gone with you." He said softly, closing the gap between us and putting his arms around me.

I let myself fall into his embrace. I let him stroke my back and my hair, while I felt so guilty I could die.

"We're gonna have a baby?" He asked, pulling himself from me and holding me by my shoulders.

"Bos...I..." I began

He put his finger to my lips, silencing me. "No. Faith, let me say this. Will you just listen?" He asked.

I nodded.

"I never thought I could be a father. I was scared of turning out like my dad, but when I saw those tests I just knew that this was meant to be. We're meant to be and I'm happy about this baby." He said earnestly.

Tears sprung to my eyes, listening to him say the words I didn't deserve. If he only knew....if only.

"Bos...there's something.."

"No. Listen. I think this is the best thing that could have happened to us. I know it hasn't been long since Emily and Charlie...but I want to have kids with you and I've been thinking about this a lot....I want you to know that I want this baby and I want us to be a family."

He was so sweet and sincere, it made me feel sick. I couldn't do this to him. I knew I had to tell him that it was Jimmy's baby....but how?

As we stood there in the kitchen, holding one another, I knew that my world was about to change. I just wondered how I was going to tell Bosco the news that would undoubtedly end our relationship forever?