I held Faith for the longest time, hoping that she would understand how much I wanted this baby and how much I loved her.

She said nothing, but held on to me as tightly as she could, as if she were afraid that her world would fall apart.

I knew that this pregnancy was a shock to her and I hoped that she really wanted this child. I knew that from the moment I understood that it was happening, that I had never wanted anything more. We were going to be a family.

Thoughts about what our child would look like filled my head, making me hope for a healthy baby, son or daughter. It didn't matter what we had, although, it would be nice to have a son. I pictured us at the park playing baseball or just sitting at home watching Disney movies.

Truthfully, I hadn't expected to be a father at this point in my life. I knew I wanted kids but had never found any woman that I'd wanted to have them with, that was, until Faith.

I knew she would be a great mother and I hoped that this pregnancy would be the thing to make her come back to me. It had been a lonely few weeks for me, with no thoughts of things getting any better. This pregnancy represented a new beginning for both of us.

I pulled back from her, trying to see what she was thinking. She wouldn't look me in the eye and it scared me.

"Faith? Why aren't you saying anything? What's wrong? Aren't you happy about this?" I asked.

She looked away for a second and squeezed her eyes shut, as if trying to make herself disappear.

"I'm happy. I'm just surprised I guess." Came her soft reply. She broke loose from my hold and walked down the hall into the bedroom.

Not knowing what else to do, I followed her, hoping that she would open up to me. I knew what was wrong. She was afraid that she couldn't handle another child or maybe it was that she wasn't sure if I could be a father. I just wanted to hear her say it. She had been closed off for so long, and had shut herself away from the world and me, that she was in desperate need of letting her emotions free.

I walked into the bedroom and went over to the bed. She was curled up, not facing me and crying.

"Faith. Let's talk. Tell me what's going on." I said as I sat down.

I placed my hand on her back and rubbed it gently, hoping that she would open up to me. She didn't respond, she just laid there.

"Faith. Please. We have to talk about this. You're scaring me. Please." I pleaded.

Finally, she turned to face me, tears falling fast and hard. She reached over and pulled me down to her, hugging me tightly.

"Oh, Bosco. I'm happy about this. I just miss Em and Charlie so much and I feel guilty about having another baby when my own babies are in the ground." She sobbed into my shoulder.

I held her tightly and kissed her cheeks. "Faith. You can't feel guilty about having a baby. This baby was created out of love and it will have both of us . We're gonna be a family. I don't want you to feel bad. Please stop crying. I don't know how to make you feel better. I want this baby and I know you're probably wondering if I'd be a good dad, and I want you to know that I will. I swear it. I will put all of my energy into making you proud of me. I won't be anything like my father. I promise."

She gently pushed me away from her and sat up. "You think that I'm wondering if you'd be a good dad? I know you'll be a great dad, Bos. Don't ever think that." She said firmly. "I don't deserve you. I really don't."

"Don't deserve me? What are you talking about? You're the best thing that ever happened to me." I cupped her face with my hands and looked her dead in the eye.

"There isn't anyone better than you. I can't believe that I have this chance to be a better man. It's all because of you, baby."

She said nothing, just leaned forward and kissed me. I could tell that she had more to say, but that she couldn't say it. I should have pressed her on it. I shouldn't have taken no for an answer, but I didn't.

I got ready for work and left her there in her own thoughts. I was starting to realize that we were starting a new phase in our relationship, but that something wasn't right.

A thought occurred to me on the ride to the station. Maybe she was upset because we weren't married. A light came on in my head. Of course! That had to be it. Otherwise, she would have been happier about this news.

I remembered her saying something about how she was pregnant with Emily without being married first and how she wished it had happed the other way. Her mom and dad had never let up on the fact that Emily had been a mistake. That was the problem. She wanted us to be married.

I could rectify that and I could do it soon. The wheels were turning and I knew that it was time to ask Faith to marry me.