It was dark in her room; pitch black except for the moonbeams pouring in through her window, making a square of white on her bedroom floor. Bailey sat several feet away in the corner, her back up against the wall and her eyes looking upwards towards the nothingness of her ceiling.

In her hand was a drumstick.

---

Laney and Logan were huddled in the instrument room of the band room. It was a smelly room with shelves stacked with instrument cases. It was rather small but the school couldn't afford to make it any bigger. Only six people could be in it at a time.

"Did he tell you this?" Logan was asking, her hands holding onto one of the shelves so she wouldn't faint. Laney nodded. "When did he tell you?"

"Today he followed me out of the auditorium and he grabbed my hand and forced me into a janitor's closet. He told me there. I didn't know what to say."

"But he can't be, I like him too much! It has to be a lie, maybe he just wants attention. I like him too much." Logan repeated. Laney sighed.

"Logan, why would he want attention for that? It's true and there's nothing you can do to change that. You can't make a person not be gay. It's up to them, it's all in their hands. You can't play the part of God in this theatre play we call life. I'm sorry." Laney reached in and pressed her body to Logan's in a hug. Laney usually didn't hug people; she was a 'in her own space' kind of girl.

The atmosphere in that small room even tasted sad. Sad kind of tastes like blood and tears. Logan began to cry on Laney's shoulder. Her body shook and she kept saying 'no' over and over again in between hiccups. Laney was stroking her hair.

Eventually they had to leave the instrument room, much to Logan's objections. She was a bit embarrassed because her eyeliner had run and her eyes were puffy. She was the most depressed she had ever been, but there was band practice to be done and today they were learning some new routines.

The band practiced on the football field after school when the football players weren't using it. Logan walked watching her feet all the way to the field. All she saw was her feet and grass and turf, but then a pair of dirty tennis shoes came into the picture. Logan looked up into the eyes of Oliver. She felt tears sting at her eyes immediately when she saw him, but she bit her lip and looked away, her insides lurching.

"Hey Logan." Oliver whispered. He tried to grab her hand but Logan pulled away, pretending to act like nothing was wrong. "Are you okay? You seem different."

'I'm not as different as you are now, ass hole.' Logan thought but she stared at him through blurry eyes and shook her head, her black hair sweeping her shoulders. Oliver had a look of concern on his face.

"Are you sure you're okay? I've never seen you sad before; you're usually the one making a sad person cheer up." Logan shook her head again. "Are you sure? If you need a hug-"

Logan pushed him away and shook her head. She didn't want to hug him because before she had found out his secret, a hug from him made her heart pump and her stomach clench. She had loved him, and she was so sorry. She hadn't meant to fall in love with him. He had never known. She wished now she would have told him.

"Okay, well I just wanted to make sure you're okay." He gave her one last look and turned away from her and made his way over to the saxophone section. He looked back several times but Logan averted her eyes from his. She didn't want to ever look into those green eyes again; it was too heart breaking.

"Logan?" Asked a voice from her left. She turned her head slowly and frowned at Laney.

"How could he do this to me?" Her voice cracked and tears started to form in her eyes. For some reason with Laney around it seemed so easy to be emotional and let your feelings out. Laney put her hand on Logan's shoulder.

"Sweetie, you've got to get around this. You know there's nothing you can do to make him change."

"But why did he tell you and not me? I'm his best friend; you'd think he'd come to me first. I don't understand." Logan wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Laney reached out and wiped at them too with a black-nail polished thumb.

"'Lo, I don't know what goes on his head. I wish I could tell you. Shake it off though, Mr.Rickman is making his way out here so practice is starting. Let's head over to the pit, okay?" Laney took Logan's small hand in hers and the two friends walked together farther and farther away from Oliver, the cutest guy in band and a best friend in Logan's eyes.

--

Logan and Oliver had met in the fifth grade. Logan walked into her home room, her black hair in pig tails and a pink frilly dress on. Just thinking about that outfit made Logan cringe. But that was beside the point.

She sat down in a desk that had her nametag on it and she placed her book bag under her chair. "Hi, do you like The Little Mermaid?" A little boy asked who was in the seat next to her. He had shaggy blonde hair that covered his big green eyes and he was pointing at Logan's book bag.

Logan nodded and stared at him.

"Will you be my friend?" He asked, putting his arm around her. Logan stared at him.

"Okay! I'm Logan. What's your name?"

"Oliver Jordan Carmichael. But you can call me Olly."

"Ew." Logan stuck out her tongue. "I think I'll call you Oliver." She patted the mop of blonde hair. Oliver smiled and patted her on the head as well, returning the favor.

"We'll be best friends forever," He whispered.