(In a room full of the anime cast of Excel-Saga and the Manga cast of Excel-Saga)

Lee3: Okay, does anyone know why you all are here?

Anime Excel: To beat up the manga cast of Real Bout High School?

Lee3: No, even though that was funny, kicking the shit out of them.

Manga Hyatt: To...(coughs up blood and dies)

Anime Hyatt: You're...(dies as well)

Lee3: I'll just answer to speed this up. I'm...

Anime Excel & Manga Excel: ...writing an Excel-Saga fanfic!

Lee3: (annoyed) Exactly (pulls the rope and A. Excel & M. Excel falls).

A. Excel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lee3: This fic is off of the manga version so it's different from what most of the readers are used to reading.

A. Watanabe: What's the difference.

M. Watanabe: There are stories in the manga that the director didn't put in the anime.

Lee3: For instance, in the manga the dog's name is Mince not Menchi...though Menchi means minced meat in Japanese. There is no Great Will of Macrocosm or Nabeshin.

M. Matsuya: The Roppanmatsu's switch off instead of being together in the same place at the same time.

Lee3: Some of the events that have occurred in the anime have not or yet to occur in the manga. I'll let the readers know throughout the fic. Now I need to start the disclaimer so get going and take these deadheads with you (both casts leave carrying their respective Hyatts).

A. Excel & M. Excel: (climbs out of the hole) Can we help?

Lee3: Sure. I don't own Excel-Saga, but I do own the self-insert.

A. Excel & M. Excel: The following fic may insult your intelligence, make you laugh or flame the author.

Lee3: This is my first Excel-Saga fanfic so it may suck. If this fic sounds sarcastic don't take it seriously. If it offends you in any way (to all the sensitive people) don't take it seriously or just don't listen to the writing, which ever comes first. The first two chapters take place during Volume 7 the rest take place right after Volume 8. Oh and this expresses thought. Okay enough with the legal stuff...RUN IT!!!

Who is this Jackass

Excel: HAIL ILPALAZZO!!!

Hyatt: zzo.

Ilpalazzo: Awe, Excel, Hyatt I have noticed that your last failure was...how should I put it?

Excel: Crappy, sucked, not good?

Ilpalazzo: You hit the nail on the head Excel. Can you explain your failure this time?

Excel: Well sir Hyatt died again and...(Ilpalazzo pulls the rope and Excel falls) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Hey what is...OH MY GOD, THIS PIT IS FULL OF COCKROACHES!!!

Hyatt: Um, sir?

Ilpalazzo: Yes Hyatt?

Hyatt: Isn't this the time where you explain the mission?

Ilpalazzo: I know, but I wanted to listen to Excel suffer for once.

Excel: (spraying and stomping the roaches) DIE RADIOACTIVE BUGS OF DEATH DIE!!!

(10 minutes later)

Excel: (finally out of the hole) I escaped the Bugs of Radioactivity sir (salutes).

Ilpalazzo: Well that aside, I'm bringing in someone to help our cause.

Excel: (semi-excited) So who is it?

Hyatt: Is it a friend of yours sir?

Ilpalazzo: You might say that (pushes a button). Now we just sit back and wait.

Excel: ButIcan'twaitmylordIwanttoknownownownownownownow (Ilpalazzo pulls the rope again and Excel falls) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ilpalazzo: She really needs to calm down.

Hyatt: I agree sir.

(In another dimension a young college student from Bakersfield, California is watching TV.)

Lee: (finishes watching Excel-Saga) Damn, that episode was funny as hell, but I still think the manga is better. I would love to get the boxed set, but every time I get close to being able to purchase it, a need gets in my way and sets me back for another month! UUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHH, I CAN'T STAND IT (watch beeps)!!! IRIS patch the message through (a holographic version of Ilpalazzo appeared). Oh it's you what do you want?

(A/N: In this fic Lee knew Ilpalazzo before.)

Ilpalazzo: I need you to come and help my agents with their missions.

Lee: (unenthusiastic) Fine, I'll be right there.

IRIS: Terminating transmission.

Excel: (out of the hole) What now Ilpalazzo?

Ilpalazzo: He should be here in five, four, three, two (a distortion in time and space occurred and a tall black dude carrying a 12' Zambatoh-like sword with an Egyptian-like eye on it, appeared), one.

Lee: What do you want Ilpalazzo?

Ilpalazzo: I want you to assist my two cohorts Excel and Hyatt.

Lee: (looks at them) Yes, yes, I know about them, one is stupid and the other dies at the worst times.

Hyatt: I wonder who the stupid one is Senior?

Excel: Somehow, I think he means me.

Lee: (stoic) Exactly Excel.

Excel: (pissed) I'm not an idiot! In fact, is that anyway to talk to your senior?!

Lee: (eyes glow red and his voice sounds demonic) Senior? I am nobody's junior (the rope drops), do you understand (pulls the rope and Excel fall again)?

Excel: I REFUSE TOOOOOOOO!!!

Ilpalazzo: Lee, train them to be more efficient in our cause to conquer the city.

Lee: In order to do that I would have to make Excel smarter and Hyatt: less infatuated with death, less of a drug addict and to make her just plain healthier. If that is even possible. (Hyatt dies) Oh crap.

Excel: (climbs out of the pit) Well, it looks like you have your work cut out for you.

Lee: (pulls the rope and Excel falls again) I didn't ask for your input.

Ilpalazzo: Good luck to you.

Lee: Thanks, this might be fun after all.

To Be Continued

Antics: Intro

Excel: Antics, what is that?

Lee: Shorts that is author puts in at the end at the end of the chapter.

Excel: Are they supposed to be funny?

Lee: Yes.

Hyatt: Do they have anything to do with the main story?

Lee: No, but there are times where they will contribute to the main story. Besides, how this guy writes if you can't tell the difference YOU SUCK!!!!

Elgala: I, Elgala has a question.

Lee: What is it?

Elgala: Are you seeing anyone?

Lee: (stoic) I have never dated.

Elgala: How old are you?

Lee: (annoyed) Twenty. Now I have a question for you.

Elgala: What do you ask of Elgala?

Lee: What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here until chapter three.

Elgala: Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh, gotta go (runs off)!

Lee: Did I answer your questions, Excel, Hyatt?

Hyatt: Yes you di...(coughs up blood and dies)

Excel: Yes, thank you.

Lee: You're welcome.

Lee3: Okay that might have sucked or it might have not, you be the judge. For the record Elgala is owned by Rikdo Koshi, the creator of Excel-Saga, not me. One other difference between the manga and the anime is that in the anime the city is called F, but in the manga it's called by its real name Fukuoka. Review or flame if you want...I'm ready. See ya next time.