Disclaimer: I dont own Third Watch (How many of you are getting tired of hearing that little diddy?).
A Little piece of Heaven: Chapter 45
It was March and Rose had been gone for almost three months. In the days and weeks following her death, Bosco became a shell of his former self. He wouldnt eat, didnt sleep and hardly talked at all. He felt guilty about the way she died and blamed himself persistently. I think what bothered him the most was the fact that he was yelling at her just before it happened. We had talked to the doctors and they had all said the same thing: It wasnt by any fault of his, that she had died the way she did. It had been her time to go, and frankly, they didnt understand how she could have held on as long as she did. But that didnt help him any. It didnt make him feel any less guilty or take any of his sorrow away. I had the feeling that he was never going to get over it and I didnt know how to make him understand that it wasnt his fault. If he knew it wasnt his fault, he never expressed it to me. How could he have, when he never talked at all?
Only once did I see him break down and really let go. He had clung to me like I was the only one who could save him and he was hanging on for dear life. How sad it was to see him bawl like a baby, with his head buried in my lap, his strong hands clutching to my legs. I had cried along with him, unable to remain strong. Rose had been like a mother to me and losing her was as bad as it had been when I lost Emily and Charlie.
The impact of having Rose tell him that Anthony was not his father, had been devastating. Even more so, was the fact that she had died without telling him who his father was. It had gone to the grave with her, buried forever underneath the earth, where it would always remain. I often wondered through the years what would have happened if she had told him. Would be better or worse off? I didn't know, so I tried not to think about it or mention it to him. And not once did he ever bring it up again. Not once did he mention Anthony's name, directly or indirectly. It was as if he never had a father in his entire life. That, too, was buried along with all of the other secrets and lies and betrayals of Bosco's past and would remain there until the day he died.
He didnt return to work for a full month. He sat, day after day, in her bedroom and stared off into space, probably rewinding that whole scene over and over again, until I feared that he might just have to go into grief counseling. Lieu had been very understanding during the whole ordeal and had let me take on extra shifts when I was feeling up to it to take the financial burden off of my shoulders. I was tired all the time and irritable as well. It didnt matter what I did or said, everyone around me started to rub on my nerves, pressing them together and squeezing until I was raw. Sasha and Ty, were constant companions of mine, and they were the only ones who I wanted to talk to. There was many a night that I cried on Sashas shoulder, wishing that I could pull Bosco back from the doldrums, but mostly it was a bonding experience for me to have a female friend that I trusted and felt comfortable with.
The weeks sped by and soon spring was upon us. The flowers were blooming, trees were turning their bright shades of green and the grass was finally starting to grow. For me, it was a time of healing and of remembrance. Spring always had a way of making us feel like there is a new beginning, a chance for something better, a new life. Bosco had made progress in coping with what had happened and was doing well at work. We had grown so much closer in those long, tired months and were now starting to get into our wedding plans with excitement and anticipation.
I had taken a long time before we were even able to contemplate having the wedding. Honestly, I didn't ever think we'd get there. Bosco had been in therapy for about two months and it had really helped him deal with his anger and sorrow over Rose.
We were finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It made me so happy to think about something wonderful and romantic and special for a change. And even though it would be hard for us to get married without Rose, we knew she was looking down on us and smiling.
Sasha was my constant companion and also the most organized person out of all of us. She had a daily record book in which she kept all of our appointments and things we had to do. She carried it around with her at work adding little things from time to time.
Sasha and I spent all of our free time finishing up the catering and dress plans. Bosco and Ty were taking care of the tuxes. That was about all they could handle. Between the two of them, whenever they were supposed to be doing something important, they usually ended up stopping at the gym and playing basketball or going for coffee. Although it was annoying at times, I was grateful that they were so close. No one would have ever guessed that they would become the best of friends. Hell, I never thought in a million years that I'd ever become Mrs. Maurice Boscorelli. And now it was just around the corner.
I was glad that we had chosen Sasha and Ty to stand up for us, because as the days came and went they were becoming close again. They had to spend quite a bit of time together doing planning and general wedding stuff and as a result we started to see a change in both of them. They no longer looked at each other with hurt in their eyes or turned up their noses when one saw the other coming. We knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up back together.
That suited us just fine. Bosco had heard all about it for months and had told Ty that if he didn't soon try to work it out with Sasha that he would go and tell her himself, claiming that he could no longer stand to hear Ty's complaints about missing the only woman who had ever captured his heart. And it was good for us, too, because we'd have another couple to do social activities with. It was all working out just the way I'd always wanted.
Our wedding day came and with it, the sun shone brilliantly, gently lifting my heart and making it soar, for this was going to be the happiest day of my life.
I had been up since six o'clock, so nervous that I thought I would surly faint before I even got to the front of the church. Sasha had stayed the night with me and I was glad she did. We stayed up talking and then crying, and then, more talking. We were unstoppable when we were together and left nothing unsaid.
She confessed her love for Ty and her remorse and sadness over having the abortion. I knew she would always blame herself for it, but I knew just by looking at Ty that he would forgive her. He always wore his heart in his eyes and every time he looked at her we could see the flames burning beneath. He wanted her and he still loved her. It was in the way he watched her every move, the way his eyes lit up when he saw her. The way he still opened any door for her just to let her pass through first and in the way he said her name. Softly, with much respect. Their's was a relationship that was complicated, but one that was surely to last a lifetime.
The morning flew by faster than I could have ever imagined. We went and had our hair done along with a manicure and pedicure. I had my long blond hair done up in a fancy pile on top of my head. An 'up-do' the hairdresser had called it. My dress was a very simple, yet elegant, off-the-shoulder gown that had a long train attached to it. I wore white gloves that reached my elbows. I had never felt so beautiful or desirable.
As I looked at myself in the mirror, a deep flush in my cheeks, along with my eyes that were sparkling and bright, I knew that I had no doubts whatsoever about the step I was about to take. It felt so good and comfortable and right to be marring Bosco, like it was the entire purpose of my life and I was put here on earth to find him and create a life with him. When Fred and I had been married I remember walking down the isle feeling sick to my stomach and wishing there was somewhere I could run away and hide. Those feelings never left me, either, even after all those years of me standing beside him, or rather, behind him. No, my first marriage was a disaster from beginning to end, except for my children. I knew that this time around my life would be filled with love and never ending acceptance and more good times than bad.
I had asked Lieu if he would give me away since my own father was not someone that I had anything to do with. The day I asked him it was after roll-call and I walked to the front of the room chewing down on my lower lip, terribly afraid that he would laugh at me and think me a fool for asking such a question.
"Faith, what can I help you with?" He said as he gathered up a pile of paperwork and shoved it under his arm.
"Um. I had something I wanted to talk to you about. It's personal. Can we go into your office for a minute Lieu?"
He raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Did Boscorelli do something I'm not gonna like?"
I shook my head and wet my lips with my tongue. "Nah, boss. I just wanted to ask you a question."
"Sure. Follow me." He said, holding his arm out in front of himself so that I could walk ahead of him. I saw Bosco in the hallway and he winked at me as he passed by, giving me the strength I needed to go through with something I wasn't entirely sure I should be asking a boss to do.
Once inside the office, Lieu shut the door and told me to sit down. He leaned his elbows on the desk, giving me his undivided attention and looked at me. "So, what do you want to ask? I hope you don't need any more time off, Faith, because I gotta tell you that you've already used up your vacation and sick days....."
"No. Nothing like that." I interrupted and took a deep breath. "I, uh, wanted to ask you if you know if you and your wife can come to our wedding."
He looked surprised, as if he were expecting me to tell him some awful news or something. But he used to always hearing the worst of things and not the best.
"Ya. We're coming. Why?"
"I just wondered if, you know, you would want to do me a favor." I said hesitantly.
"Sure. What is it?"
"I wanted to ask you if you would walk me down the isle."
He looked stunned for a moment, digesting what I'd just asked him. He took a deep breath and looked around the room. I was sure he was going to tell me that it was completely inappropriate for me to ask him and that I should get the hell out of his office, but he didn't. When he finally made eye contact with me I could see the emotion in his eyes and I could have sworn that he was looking a little teary-eyed.
"I would be honored to walk you down the isle. Just let me know when and where and I'll be there."
"Thanks Lieu. Thanks a lot." I said and got up to leave.
"Faith?"
I turned around. "Ya?"
"You deserve to be happy and I'm glad that you and Boscorelli found each other." He said sincerely.
Tears sprang to my eyes, for the kind things he had said were exactly the reason why I wanted him to be a part of my wedding. All I could do was nod. I closed the door softly and went to go tell my sweetheart the news.
Then the moment came when Lieu took my arm and patted my hand softly and guided me down the isle toward my husband-to-be. Bosco stood waiting for me, a gentle smile on his sensuous lips, beckoning me onward, calling me to where I belonged.
"Who gives this woman away?"
"I do." Lieu solemnly declared.He leaned over and kissed my cheek tenderly before joining his wife.
With Sasha on my right and Ty on Bosco's left, we said the words that would bind us from here to eternity.
"I, Maurice Boscorelli, take you, Faith Yokas, to be my lawfully wedded wife. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Bosco said softly, as he wiped a tear from my cheek. I could see all of the love and respect in his heart.
"I, Faith Yokas, take you, Maurice Boscorelli, to be my lawfully wedded husband. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." I said, still crying softly. I turned to Sasha for a tissue.
With our hands clasped tightly together, the minister said the words that we had been looking forward to for so long: "You may now kiss your bride! "
I looked into his eyes, my husbands eyes, and leaned in for our first kiss as man and wife. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight.
Then, arm in arm, we proceeded to walk out the front doors of the church, toward tomorrow and the rest of our lives together.