Midnight Cigarette
By
Snivellus aka Heather Granger
A/N: This is going to be at least a two-part story. I came up with the idea lying in bed trying to go to sleep one night. I must say that I tried hard to make Snape not too mushy. It is difficult to make progression in a plot with such a closed of character, so I hope he isn't too mushy for everyone's taste. Also that Molly Weasley and Severus Snape are completely plutonic. That said, enjoy!
The light of a burnt out cigarette fizzled to the ground. It was a cold damp night in the London suburb. Outside Grimnwald Place, a cloud of hot white breath was expressed from the man at the door.
"Estos Matiea" He spoke, slowly opening the door. As the man made his way through the foyer, he glanced at the grandfather clock, nearly 11 at night. It had been a long day, 'more like a long life,' he thought.
"Albus? Is that you?" A cheery motherly voice called from the kitchen.
"No, Ms. Weasley it is I." The man spoke. He looked around; the place was like a graveyard. 'Where was everyone?' He thought.
Molly Weasley emerged from the double doors in the kitchen, seeing the man before her, pale and gaunt.
"Severus, you seem to be early, Albus flooed earlier and said that he wouldn't be able to make it until midnight."
"Fine, I shall return at midnight." Severus said scowling, and walking to the door.
"Severus, you may wait here, there is no one chasing you away." Molly said, as Severus reached for the doorknob.
"No, thank you Molly." Severus said, as his eyelids drooped.
Molly had watched as Severus became more withdrawn in the last year. It started slowly at first, his snappy comebacks had dwindled. Slowly his onyx eyes glossed over, losing their luster. Then his voice, his trademark had become lifeless.
Every Order meeting he would come in, make his report and leave. Some days he would come in limping, shaking and bleeding, other days he would glide effortlessly in, only looking directly at Albus. Severus had no friends. No one in the Order every made small talk with the man, nor even attempted. Severus was a loner and Molly could not stand it any longer.
"Severus, before you leave, would you mind taking care of a boggart in one of the guest bedrooms for me?" Molly asked, hoping that he would stay.
"Have you never banished a boggart before?" Severus asked turning around to face the woman.
"The last time I tried, well it didn't turn out so well." Molly explained.
"I suppose I could take a look at it." Severus said without feeling.
"Wonderful, it is just upstairs here, come on follow me." Molly said as she walked towards the grand staircase.
"Can this not wait til later?" Severus asked.
"If you do not think you can do it, I can wait until Albus comes." Molly said, knowing that Severus never enjoyed looking weak.
"No, I can handle it."
Severus followed Molly into the bedroom automatically noticing the shaking wardrobe.
"It is there, is it not?" Severus questioned.
"Yes, I shall just leave you to it then?" Molly asked.
Severus thought for a moment, the last time he had banished a boggart, well it had been a long time to say the least.
"You may stay if you wish." Severus tried to say somewhat unattached.
"All right, I will just be here if you need me." Molly said, somewhat surprised that he had not demanded her to leave. Molly took a seat on the edge of the bed.
Severus stood there for a moment, trying to think of what the boggart's form would take, the last time he had faced a boggart he was 19 years old. He was rummaging for a dark artifact for the Dark Lord, when the creature took him by complete surprise.
If the boggart would take the same form, then he must think of a way to make his worst fear something amusing. How could one possible make dying alone funny? He let out an audible sigh, and opened the wardrobe.
Molly watched as Severus took a few minutes to prepare. As the wardrobe finally opened, Molly was surprised to see the boggart take the form of Severus himself. How could his worst fear, be himself?
Severus stood momentarily staring at a mirror image of himself, then he watched as the boggart collapsed in front of him, crying out in anguish. Severus raised his wand trying to prepare to cast the spell, he racked his brain for something amusing, anything to make him smirk, to confuse it at the least.
"Severus?" Molly asked, noticing that the man had gone rigid.
There was no answer, Severus closed his eyes. 'Think of something, anything!' He yelled at himself.
"Severus!" Molly raised her voice. Molly rushed over to the man and drew his attention.
"I can..I cannot do it." Severus's voice shook.
"Yes you can! Severus it is not real, remember Neville singeing off his eyebrows, or when Tonks had purple hair and could not get rid of it for a week!" Molly said forcefully.
Severus blinked, and quickly thought of himself singing, now that was absolutely preposterous. Slowly the screaming boggart began singing a load rendition of "That's Amore" on his knees. Severus smirked and cast "Ridiculous", and instantly the boggart had vanished.
Severus squeezed his eyes shut, then he quickly walked out of the room. Molly tried to process what had just happened, 'he is afraid of dying?' Molly thought that this was a quite common fear, but she supposed for Severus that seeming weak was not something he enjoyed.
Severus paced in the sitting room. Why had he had such a difficult time. He had told himself and come to accept his death a long time ago, why did it still effect him?
"Severus, are you down here?" Molly asked as she came down the stairs.
"Leave me be woman!" Severus growled.
"I just wanted to thank you for getting rid of that boggart." Molly said simply.
"Humph." Severus grunted.
"Would you like anything to eat before the meeting?" Molly asked, knowing better than to bring up what just occurred.
"Are you not going to ask me why I couldn't banish that boggart?" Severus sneered.
"No, besides, you did banish the boggart."
"Only after you aided me." Severus said quietly.
"Severus, we all have fears, I would think you to be quite odd if you did not."
"My fear, it should not be so selfish." Severus admitted.
"Your fear is not selfish Severus Snape! Everyone wishes to live it is only natural." Molly explained.
"It is not the dying that is what bothers me." Severus stopped, he realized that he was talking to Molly Weasley, and she was talking back. None of the Order members had ever talked to him, especially about such personal topics.
"What is it then?" Molly asked, noticing a flicker of emotion in his voice.
"It is not important, I shall go wait for the Headmaster." Severus said walking out of the room.
Molly sat on the arm of the sofa that occupied the room. So, Severus was human, why was everyone so afraid of him? He was just as lost as the rest of them, and probably just as scared.
Molly went back to the kitchen, where she finished up cleaning the dishes from dinner. She knew not to push Severus, if he wanted to talk then he could come and find her. She heard the door open, so she assumed that Severus had decided to leave, and come back when Albus had arrived.
It was Molly's night to stay watch at the Order Headquarters, this meant staying up all night, and thankfully, she had gotten a nap in earlier that day. Molly tried to tidy up a bit to keep her mind off more worrying thoughts.
Ever since Sirius's death, Grimwald Place seemed even more dark and dingy. Everywhere you looked, there was some type of dark artifact or curse. No one was happy with how the war was going. The ministry had been playing oblivious to Voldermort's return, and when they did finally start to take action it only began to make things worse, and none of this had been as hard on anyone as it was on Harry Potter.
'Poor Harry, he has been through so much, and yet he keeps going,' Molly thought to herself. 'But, then again, poor Severus, he too has been through so much and yet he keeps going, with no thanks or compensation. Why did he come back to our side?'
Molly jumped when she heard the door open again a few minutes later. Severus entered the kitchen, and looked at her.
"Are you the only one here tonight?" He asked quickly.
"Yes, is that a problem?"
"No, I do not think it safe is all, what if you were to fall asleep?" Severus asked unwavering.
"I was not originally suppose to be on watch alone, but it seems Tonks has caught a bought of the wizarding flu, and I suggested that she stay home." Molly explained as she placed a clean dish in the cabinet above her head.
"That girl causes devastation wherever she goes, she by herself is a hazard." Severus said.
"She is a bit clumsy, but she is a trained auror. Besides, she is very handy as a metamorphigaus."
"It is a miracle she made it out of auror training alive if you ask me." Severus said as he took a seat at the kitchen table.
"Where did you go anyway?" Molly asked changing the subject.
"Out."
"Out, where?"
"Out to have a fag, if you must know." Severus said moodily.
"I didn't know you smoked." Molly said surprised.
"I don't."
"Then why did you go have a cigarette?"
"DOES IT REALLY MATTER WOMAN?" Severus said irritated. Molly stood dumbfounded for a moment.
"No."
"Good, what is the time?" Severus asked.
"11:22." Molly replied.
"So, Severus do you have any plans for Christmas?" Molly asked, trying to make small talk.
"Are you joking?" Severus asked.
"Why is asking you what you are doing for Christmas a joke?" Molly asked.
"No one makes small talk with me." Severus said.
"Well, I am, so would you care to respond?"
"No."
"No? Severus you just say that no one ever makes small talk, and yet you refuse to respond, this will get you nowhere."
"I never said that I wanted to make small talk, I simply stated that no one ever has." Severus said smirking.
"Severus Snape, you are impossible." Molly said laughing.
"I do not care for Christmas, or any other holiday for that matter, I see no point." Severus answered a few minutes later.
"No point? If you have no one to spend the holiday with, then you should come here or to the Burrow, I would not mind having another at my table, you know that." Molly said lighthearted.
"I am sure young Mr. Weasley would be thrilled to have his Potions Professor at his home for the holiday. No, I think not." Severus said.
"To hell, with what other people think Severus! It has never stopped you before. Do not give me that." Molly yelled angrily, trying to provoke some sort of reaction out of the man.
"You are wrong Molly, I do care what other people think, I simply do not let it show." Severus turned his head away from hers.
"I did not mean to yell, but Severus you are one of the most powerful wizards next to Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore. You risk your life for a cause in which you may have no benefit. Severus, I see who you are, you must see it too?" Molly said in desperation.
Severus was somewhat shocked, he had never heard Molly Weasley yell, unless it was to one of her sons. He was also surprised that she had taken the time to notice him, when so very few did.
"The boggart, it took the form of myself, dying. You commented that it was natural to fear death, but I do not fear death itself, I fear... " He stopped for a moment.
"What do you fear, you can trust me Severus, please." Molly tried to comfort.
"I fear being alone, of dying alone." Severus said putting his head in his hands.
"You are not alone, Severus, not anymore." Molly said as she wrapped her arms around the gaunt man. He stiffened at her touch, and was unsure how to react. No one, other than his own mother had ever hugged him. He stood there, stiff as a board, until she let go.
"Forgive me, I shall go wait for the Headmaster." Severus said quickly.
"Why are you apologizing, you did nothing wrong. He is not here yet anyway. Severus, I know you do not like vocalizing your feelings, but I can see them as plain as the rain. It is in your hollow eyes, your lifeless voice, and your wit."
Severus just looked back at her fighting back emotion that he managed so well to hide.
"Are you hungry?" Molly asked again.
"No." Severus answered again.
"Is it in your nature to be so difficult, or have you developed the skill over many years?" Molly teased.
"Oh so many years." Severus said sarcastically.
Molly let out a laugh, it was nice to see him relax a little.
"Now I am amusing to you?" Severus questioned.
"It is nice to see that you still have a sense of humor, it is important in times like these."
"I would not call what I have sense of humor, more of a sadistic way to look at an amusing situation." At this, Molly rolled her eyes and let out a rather dramatic sigh.
"At least let me get you something to drink." Molly said as she quickly reached for a glass and magic-ed it to the sink to fill it with water.
"You are almost as difficult as Albus." Severus said pulling out a chair, and placing himself the edge.
Molly handed him the glass, and took a seat across from him. As Severus reached for the glass Molly noticed a deep cut on his hand.
"Where did you get that?" Molly asked.
Severus quickly dismissed it, hiding his hand back within his dark cloak.
"It is just a scratch." Severus said as Molly reached out for hand.
"Let me see it Severus. You know, I was going to be a healer before I married Arthur." Molly offered moving closer to his hand.
"No, no I think I can take care of myself." Severus said growing anxious.
"Severus Snape, your being childish, let me see your hand."
"Do not touch me!" Severus sneered.
"Give me your damm hand!" Molly said aggravated, taking hold of the injured hand. Severus had never heard Molly use a bad word, and was quite taken aback that after all his attempts to keep Molly away it only drove her closer to him.
"This is really unnecessary." Severus said as she took out her wand and muttered a spell.
"Hush up this instant, I swear your worse than Arthur!" Molly said exasperated.
"Why are you doing this?" Severus asked a few minutes later after Molly had finished wrapping up his hand.
"Doing what, Severus?"
"Being pleasant to me." Severus stated.
"Why not? Severus you are just like everyone else. We all need other people in our lives, and I fear you have gone to long without them."
"You remind me of my mother." Severus said. 'Where did that come from' Severus thought to himself.
"Do I, so now your insulting my age, is there nothing that you show restrain on?" Molly teased.
"Not your age, your words and your attempt at witty banter."
"Attempt? Why Severus Snape!"
Severus held up his hand meaning no offense.
Molly was slightly older than him, and was detached from what had happened growing up with Potter and his little friends. She never knew the horrors of his childhood, the teasing and the taunting. Molly had never been quick to judge him, and he had never recalled her saying something against his character like so many others had. Severus trusted her, and that was saying something.
"Thank you Molly, for the water." Severus said banishing the glass to the sink.
"Severus, is there anything you want to talk about? It doesn't have to be about the Order if you wish." Molly asked.
"No."
"Are you sure, please Severus, I want to see you smile again, I need to know that you haven't given up on life just yet." Molly confessed.
"I think next time that I would like to have a cake." Severus said simply now standing in the kitchen.
"Pardon me?" Molly asked.
"If I were to want anything to eat next time, I think I would want cake." Severus restated.
"Any particular kind of cake?" Molly asked at such an unusual request from the shadowed man.
"Chocolate, with chocolate frosting."
"Any reason that you want cake?"
"The last time I was truly happy was when I was seven years old and my mother baked me a cake for my birthday. It was chocolate, with chocolate frosting." Severus explained rather quietly.
"When is your birthday Severus?" Molly asked, wondering if even the Headmaster knew.
"Not for sometime, January actually." Severus confessed.
"Well, the next time we are both here, you shall have a cake." Molly said cheerfully.
The corners of Severus's mouth upturned a bit, if you looked quickly one might say that it resembled a faint smile.
"Thank you... for caring." Severus said and walked into the sitting room, where the clock was just starting to chime the 12th hour.
TBC... Please review!