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Chapter 8
Summer rolled out of bed at noon. The smell of bacon and pancakes called her out of her sleep and when she opened the bedroom door, it was Ryan, bare chested and setting out platefuls of food, that woke her up quicker than coffee ever could.
"Morning," she said and wrapped her arms around him. His skin was warm and smooth under her fingers. She felt very grown-up touching him the way she was. "Let's go for a drive today. I want to take the car out one last time before I sell it."
"Whatever you want."
They'd talked about it, and despite Ryan's insistence that they were doing okay, Summer wanted to contribute. They were making rent and putting money away only because Ryan worked such long hours. When he started skipping class to take on a second job, Summer put her foot down. Ryan reluctantly spoke to Randy about finding a buyer. Randy had said he'd see what he could do. It was just as well, the car only served as a reminder of her life in Newport; a life she never wanted to go back to. And a father that thought she was in Europe studying art or history.
It was well past two by the time they'd cleaned up from breakfast and stood in front of Summer's black BMW.
"You drive," Summer said, dropping the keys into Ryan's hands.
Ryan shrugged and got into the drivers side. "Where to?"
"Anywhere!"
And so they went. Driving around Chino and the surrounding area without a care in the world until the blaze of police sirens forced Ryan to take notice.
"Shit!"
"Just keep going!"
Ryan spared a glance beside him."What?!"
Summer was panicking. "Ryan, if my dad figured out I'm not where I'm supposed to be and the cop runs my plates... He could have reported the car stolen for all we know. Let's just go."
"I have a record. If I get caught I'll go back to juvie. Or they'll find out I've been living on my own and try to send me to a group home."
Summer felt tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't go back. Wouldn't. "Ryan, please. I can't go back."
"Summer." The furrow between his brows was deep and pleading.
"You don't know what it's like in that damn sterile house with that horrible woman and a father that doesn't care." She wouldn't be able to handle the loneliness. Not anymore. Not when she knew what was out there. What love felt like.
"If we do this, there's no going back," Ryan said sternly. "We'll always be running."
"But we'll be together. He won't let me see you. He'll have you locked up. He'll say you kidnapped me. Ryan, please. Please."
Ryan kept his eyes forward. "I can't and I won't let you screw up your future." Ryan pulled the car to the side of the road and eased to a stop.
Sitting back in her seat, Summer wiped her eyes.
The policeman took his time coming to the vehicle. Summer could see Ryan's grip slip on the steering wheel as his palms sweated.
"License and registration." His voice was monotone. It reminded Summer of those operators answering services had.
"Is there a problem officer?"
The policeman took the paper and card Ryan handed him. "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign a few blocks back." He took his time looking at the license and then back to Ryan.
Summer felt an unexplained protectiveness come over her. She got an idea.
"This your car?"
"It's mine," Summer said and batted her eyes at the officer. Her looks had helped her get out of tickets before and she wasn't ashamed to used her beauty to keep the heat off Ryan. "It was a gift from my father."
The officer smiled. Actually smiled. Summer knew any real threat was gone. "Pretty expensive gift."
Summer laughed and it sounded fake and hollow in her head. He didn't seem to notice. "Daddy's a plastic surgeon in Newport. I was just letting my boyfriend test it out." The quirk of Ryan's eyebrow did not escape her attention.
The officer nodded, pulling out a notepad. "I'm going to have to write you a ticket."
"That's fine. Perfectly reasonable. Right, hon?"
Ryan nodded. Summer could tell he was clenching his jaw by the way the muscles in his cheeks danced.
The officer scribbled on the note pad and tore off a copy. "Here," he said, handing the ticket to Ryan. "Just watch what you're doing next time."
"Thank you, officer."
"You have a good day now, miss."
"You, too," she said, her voice so saccharine it would put a diabetic in a coma.
The police cruiser pulled away. Ryan sat motionless.
Finally he spoke. "What the hell was that?"
"What?" She tried to sound innocent, like she didn't know what she had done.
Ryan turned in his seat, the seatbelt digging into his chest. "You were flirting with him!"
Summer shrugged. "It worked, didn't it? He could have gone back to the car and ran you through the system, but he didn't. I think you owe me some gratitude."
"Yeah, right."
"I'm serious, Ryan. We could have been in big trouble if I hadn't stepped up to the plate."
"You wanted to run. If I had listened to you, we'd be on our way to Mexico by now."
"Details."
Ryan shook his head. The strangest memory came to him...
"Don't get me wrong, sometimes she gets on my nerves, frustrates me so bad I think I'll snap. Oh, we fight an awful lot, but I love her even when I hate her...maybe especially then."
"Ryan? You're not mad at me, are you?"
"Huh?"
"I said: 'you're not mad at me, are you?'"
Ryan sighed. No, he wasn't mad. He was something worse.
"Let's go," he said and started up the car.
Ryan had seen and done a lot of different things with a lot of different women, but somehow, with Summer, everything felt new and fresh. She brought out feelings in him he wasn't even aware he had.
Two months. Two whole months and Summer had been right. Her father hadn't come looking for her. Either he was really gullible, or just didn't care. Ryan understood the latter all too well.
They had a routine now. Things were easier...mostly.
There was still that little thing called sexual tension that had a way of creeping up on them. Ryan was never going to have sex again. Five months was enough to feel like forever. The physical part of their relationship was stunted. Some days they couldn't get enough of each other. Other days...they couldn't stand each other. That was due in part to how much Ryan wanted Summer. He knew she was inexperienced and he didn't want to rush her. There were fights that sprang out of nowhere just so he could get out of the house. It was easier when he didn't have to look at her; when he didn't have to see her smile or look at him in a way no one ever had before. He didn't want her to do something she was going to regret. He didn't want to do something he would regret.
Ryan walked through the door and immediately settled down into a chair.
"Any luck selling the car?"
Everyday she asked the same question and everyday the answer was the same.
"Nope. There's not a big market for brand new BMW's in Chino, believe it or not."
Summer placed her hand on his back, rubbed gentle strokes down the column of his spine. The tension in his shoulders only intensified. "Everything okay?"
"Fine."
"Did something happen at work today?" Her hands continued the wonderful circles on his back, moving over corded muscles and releasing cramps and strains from a full day of work. It felt so good. Too good.
"No."
"Class? Everything go okay there?"
Ryan could feel her breasts as she leaned against him. The fragile string of his self-control was about to snap.
"Yeah."
"No pop quizzes?"
"Nope." If he kept his replies short enough, she would get the message.
Summer scrunched up her nose. "Then, what's wrong?"
Ryan rolled his shoulders, sat up straighter in his chair. "I really don't feel like talking right now, okay." Looking over his shoulder, he met her eyes. "And could you stop touching me?" She backed away, immediately feeling the blow.
"I'm sorry, I just-" Summer gave up searching for something to say. "I'm sorry."
Ryan felt like a total asshole. While achieving his goal, he'd hurt her in the process. It seemed he was always sacrificing something to keep her at arms length, never letting her get too close, despite how desperate he was for that intimacy.
"No, it's not you. Come 'ere," he said, pulling her down. She sank into his lap. He pushed the hair off her face, and curled it behind her ear. "I'm a jerk, okay?"
Summer jutted out her lip, pouting. "Can't say I disagree."
Ryan looked down. He was so used to just taking a girl home and having sex. It was easy. He'd never even been in a real relationship before. He wasn't sure he could be the person he was trying to turn into. And he sure as hell didn't know what she saw when she looked at him. "It's just when you touch me...it makes it hard to think about anything else."
Summer shifted, settling her legs on either side of him and felt exactly what was making it hard for Ryan to think. "Hmm, literally, huh?"
"Yeah," he said, sheepishly.
She wrapped her arms around him, locking their chests together. His breath fanned out over her neck, speeding up her heart and heating her skin. Taking his face between her hands, Summer kissed him slowly. She used her tongue to lick his bottom lip and coax his mouth open.
Ryan ran his hands up her back, got a firm grip under her arms. He lifted her with him as he stood and slammed her back against the wall.
It was what she had been waiting for. Heat. Passion. Being wanted. Being consumed by need. No judgement was being passed between them. There wasn't time for that. No time to think things through, to think logically. Summer didn't want to listen to logic or reason or anything that would take this moment away from them.
She just wanted him. Ryan.
All thoughts left her head and the only sound was their combined ragged breaths and Ryan's zipper being lowered as Summer's hand wormed between their bodies and tugged.
Ryan pulled his mouth away and leaned his head on Summer's shoulder. "Shit!"
Summer could barely catch her breath. "What? What's wrong?"
"It's not you, it's me."
Summer pushed against his chest. "That sounds reassuring."
Ryan rubbed his hand over his forehead. "No, that's not what I meant. That came out wrong. I don't want to pressure you into anything."
"Ryan, I want you. Sometimes I think I'll explode if I don't."
"I know. It's just...a lot of responsibility," he said, slowly. "I don't want to screw it up for you. You only get one first time."
"Who says it has to be, like...special?"
"Don't you want it to be?"
"It's just sex."
"It's not just sex," Ryan said, sternly.
"Oh."
Ryan sighed. "I have to have a shower."
"Okay."
Summer wasn't afraid of sex. But she wasn't exactly experienced either. In all rights, she was still a virgin. Though, that was just a technicality. It wasn't like she was naive when it came to sex. She just hadn't let a boy get there yet. It was the one thing that she could either give away or save like a treasure. And since all her other friends were giving it away like candy, Summer had decided a long time ago, or at least by middle school, that she was going to save it for someone she cared about, maybe even someone she loved.
And Ryan...? Was definitely someone she cared about...maybe even loved. She had a feeling that Ryan never had to try very hard to get there with other girls. One look at him, right into his eyes, and most women probably stripped down and gave him permission to do whatever he liked. That idea appealed to Summer. Only, Ryan wasn't giving it up. He was being downright prudish.
Because...why? He respected her?
Great. That was always what she wanted. Someone who didn't just want her for her body.
But enough was enough.
But she would, like always, wait patiently instead of screaming for him to just fuck her already.
