Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.
Summary: [L/J 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death & betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within.
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Chapter 3: 'Give Me a Reason'
'Give me a reason' spoken by Severus Snape, PoA; The Servant of Lord Voldemort, page 264
It was bitterly cold outside and a strong wind didn't help matters. However, Lily wasn't aware of the biting cold; she didn't shiver, or wrap her arms around herself like Marlene had. She just stood silently. The time had come for her and Marlene to leave for the funeral of her parents.
"Take as much time as you need. When you feel you are ready, just stick out your wand and the Knight Bus will come pick you up. Be careful," Dumbledore said. Although his voice was quiet, it was easily heard over all the other noise going on.
"Thanks, Sir," Marlene muttered. Lily just inclined her head into a half nod. Both girls stepped onto the violent purple bus carefully.
"Welcome to the Knight Bus, I-" the conductor started to speak, but Dumbledore must have shaken his head as a sign to stop.
"Go on, girls," Dumbledore added, just before the door closed.
"Hold on, then," the driver, a middle aged man with thick rimmed glasses and frizzy hair, said. Lily and Marlene took a seat and in preparation grabbed hold of something. There was another BANG! And they were off. It was a long ride to Lily's house, extremely bumpy, each girl getting thrown from her seat several times. Both of them however, kept silent for most of it. They sat there, holding on to a pole or chair for dear life in a desperate attempt not to get thrown forward… or backwards for that matter, thinking about what they were about to face.
---
"Come on, Prongs. You can't stay like this," Sirius moaned. James refused to budge from his curled up position in a squashy front chair facing the fire in the Gryffindor common room. He had been sitting like this for a good three hours now and his friends were sick of it.
"You know how much it kills me to say this, but Padfoot's right," Remus added. Sirius feigned a hurt expression while Remus just smiled sardonically. The three remaining Marauders made it their own personal task to snap James out of his funk.
"Although I'm highly offended at what Moony just said, we haven't played a prank in ages. Look, Prongs; I know you're Head Boy. And I know you are literally obsessed with Lily. But she's not here right now and there's nothing you can do," Sirius's words hit it where it hurt.
"Exactly! There's nothing I can do, Sirius! Do you know how much that fact is killing me?" snapped James, his expression stony.
"Look, James. This is eating you up," Remus told him carefully. James sighed, his face softening. Remus had an annoying tendency to always be right; James suspected this time was no exception.
"Okay, Prongs. I don't know what it's like. I've never loved a girl like that before, so I don't know. I do know Remus is right though. He's always right, remember? You have to do something," Sirius replied impatiently. James and Sirius were so close that they could almost read each other's thoughts. Like just then.
"Come on, Prongs! When Lily comes back, you can talk to her. But for now, there really isn't much point in moping," Peter said in his small voice. Sirius clapped him on the back cheerfully.
"Good man, Wormtail. Now, come on. We have people to cheer up!" Sirius jumped up happily. "Everyone is depressed and I can see why. I'm not completely insensitive. But a nice, amusing prank will lighten the mood." Remus shook his head at Sirius's speech.
"Nothing mean, Padfoot," warned Remus. Sirius just grinned innocently in return. Remus had grown to be very wary of that grin. Old habits die hard, Remus thought dryly.
---
Funerals were always horrible experiences to go through. However, this one seemed a thousand times worse. Lily couldn't stand it. Petunia had taken over the whole event. She hadn't even mentioned her yet, not that she had expected her too. Having spent the best part of seven years away from home she highly doubted whether anyone remembered that the Evans' had a younger daughter. She listen to Petunia reminisce about good times that she spent with her parents and suddenly realised with a twinge that she had missed out on a lot of events that had happened whilst she had been away. Lily was quick to notice that Petunia hadn't told any memories with the slightest mention of her in them. She could see the malicious sparkle in Petunia's eyes as she remained unmentioned. The way things were going, the people at the funeral wouldn't even know that there was another Evans girl. However, Marlene came to her rescue, yet again.
"Now, is there anyone else who would like to say a few words about these two fine people?" asked the Vicar, looking around. Petunia gave Lily a glare that simply said: you do, you die. Not that Lily was about to, she'd probably break down. The same could not be said for Marlene, who had plans all of her own.
"Yes, I would," she called out. She made her way gracefully to the stand, in a modest black dress and coat that Lily had leant her for the day. She started the speech that she had prepared just in case Petunia had mentioned Lily, she had half hoped that she wouldn't have to, though Petunia had ensured that it was going to happen as soon as she failed to mention her sister. Lily herself was looking startled, her mouth shaped in an 'O'. However, that wasn't the worst of it; Petunia had already started to complain.
"Excuse me, but I-" she started to say, Marlene took no notice of the older girl and pressed on with her speech.
"My name is Marlene McKinnon and although I'm not related to Mr. and Mrs. Evans by blood, I came to know them as my second parents. You see, from the moment I met Lily, their youngest daughter, we instantly clicked. We've been best friends for seven years now and we always will be. I'll die before letting any kind of harm happen to her and she would do the same for me. I've spent countless school breaks and summers over at the Evans' house, and each time I got to know Lily's parents a bit better, every day I spend with Lily, I can see traces of them in her. Not just appearance wise, even though she and Mr. Evans share the same porcelain skin and brilliant green eyes and Lily did inherit her mother's fiery red curls and delicate features. No, I'm talking about Lily herself. Every time I talk to her, I comfort her or be near her, I see their kindness in her, their warmth and passion, their love for life. I see all of that repeated in Lily. I see her funny side, her strict side, her care free side and hundreds of other little things that make Lily truly her parents' girl. I see them in their youngest daughter very clearly.
"The biggest thing they passed down to her though wasn't any of that. It was their strength. Lily has the strength of both of her parents combined; a mental strength that amazes everyone, including me. I've seen Mr. and Mrs. Evans deal in the most astonishing scenarios and I've seen them handle everything thrown their way together and without hurting Lily in the slightest. I've seen Lily get through the most difficult situations using a quiet type of confidence and strength that she got from them. I know I'm going to miss my second mother and father terribly; and I know Lily will miss them even more. Though, with a friend like her, whose strength gives me inspiration to move on; I know we can do it." Marlene felt her eyes water up, but refused to cry.
Lily on the other had had tears pouring down her face freely. She sat very still, waiting for everyone's reaction. The crowd clapped and she smiled slightly. Marlene smiled too and Lily's whole face lit up. But Petunia ruined the moment again; she gave Lily the most hated look Lily or Marlene had ever seen. But that didn't stop Marlene. She walked back down to her seat next to Lily and placed an arm around her.
"That was really beautiful, Mar. Thanks," mumbled Lily. Marlene smiled in return.
"Anytime. It's what I'm here for," Marlene replied.
The rest of the service was heart wrenching for Lily. There was a very haunting moment, which would stay in Lily's thoughts and dreams forever. She was watching the two coffins get lowered into the pre-dug graves, slowly but surely… inch by inch. The tombstones were already in place, both quite similar.
Jacob Evans: 1935 - 1977
Heather Evans: 1936 - 1977
Loving parents,
Lily didn't get past the 'loving parent's line. It hurt too much, just looking at it, so she averted her eyes. A light drizzle had started by this time soaking through her black clothes till they were damper than anything else. As the coffins' reached the bottom, Petunia stepped forward. The Vicar pressed a handful of dirt into her palm. Then, surprisingly, he motioned for Lily and did the same to her. Petunia glared heavily at her again, but did not raise a voice. Petunia then threw the dirt onto Mr. Evans's coffin. Lily did the same for her mother. She then stepped back next to Marlene and watched the burial. Never again will I see them, she realised again. This time it was final, no more waking up and thinking they were still okay. No, this time, it was really over. There bodies were gone, buried. Even though Lily was still grieving, she could accept it now. They were truly dead and no matter how much she cried and grieved, nothing could bring them back… nothing.
---
Sirius, Remus, James and Peter were in the middle of planning another brilliant prank. Of course, before they put everything in motion, they needed the right spells and potions. So they headed to the library. Contrary to popular belief, they did know where it was. Actually, they knew their way around it rather well; seven years of researching various pranks tended to do that to you. But their walk to the library didn't go quite as planned.
"So it's Potter and his pathetic entourage. How's life without the Mudblood? I dare say, it would be brilliant to rid the school of them all and not just one," Snape sneered, seemingly appearing out of nowhere like he usually did.
James knew who Snape was talking about and he came over with the huge desire to hit him, hard. Remus was frowning in Snape's direction; Peter was subtly moving himself behind Sirius, using him as a shield between himself and the pallid, hook nosed boy. Sirius himself had his wand ready and was just waiting for a reason to attack Snape.
"Shove it, Snivellus," growled Sirius, sounding a lot like the dog he became once a month. He was obviously in no mood to deal with a greasy git like Snape. Of course, Snape didn't stop there. Apparently, nothing gave him a bigger thrill than taunting the foursome of boys he hated with a passion, even though he new he ended up in more trouble with them then it was actually worth. Nevertheless, he seemed to enjoy insulting them in those few seconds before they put him in his place, or in his case, into the ground.
"Or what, Black? Come on, what is little Black going to do about it? Run to mummy? Oh, I forgot, you don't have a mother to run to," taunted Snape, clearly enjoying hitting Sirius where it hurt. Sirius refused to show signs of weakness, though. He laughed at Snape's attempts to provoke him; Sirius had left behind any ties to his family in the summer after fifth year and he had never looked back.
"Why would I want to run to that miserable hag? Besides, Snivellus, at least I have the pleasure of knowing there's nothing living in my hair. You know, a handy little invention was made a while ago. I call it shampoo, along with the rest of the world's population. You really should give it a go, it would do you wonders. I could send you some if you like…" Sirius snapped back. To his immense pleasure, Snape scowled slightly, but recovered far too quickly.
"Nothing can live in grease like that; it would die instantly," put in James viciously, before Snape had the chance to say anything. Yes, James was Head Boy and yes, he should be setting a proper example. However, there was no one else around and he was hardly going to let Snape walk all over him and his friends. He had never let him do it before and he saw no reason why he should let him start doing it now.
"Big words there Potter. Come on, curse me. Put your money where your mouth is. No Mudblood here to stop you," Snape jeered, a smirk curling on his lip as James balled his fists in anger. Sirius tried to launch himself at Snape, but thankfully Remus grabbed the back of his robes, holding him back with great difficulty, for he had to motion for Peter to help.
"Don't you dare call Lily a Mudblood, Snivellus, because you know what you are? You are a snivelling, insignificant poor excuse for a human being, with a bastard for a father. What has she ever done to you, apart from try to defend you? She shouldn't have bothered, I know I certainly would waste my energy saving your neck, again," James said so venomously that Snape actually took a small step backwards. He quickly realised his mistake and raised his wand in preparation of a spell.
"Serpento-" he started to yell, but James had years of Quidditch behind him and excellent reflexes from all of those practises and games. Snape had no such talent to help him avoid James's curse or cast something else to counter it.
"Expelliarmus," James shouted. Snape's wand soared from his hands to James's. It looked like James was about to curse Snape then and there, causing him some serious injury, but Remus grabbed James's arm.
"Don't do it, James," he hissed. James tried to call himself down, but Snape was just so aggravating. Remus was the level headed friend everyone needed and James knew he was right, like he always was. He managed to calm himself down enough to do the mature, responsible thing in a situation like this. Was he Head Boy or not?
"Fifteen points from Slytherin for use of foul language and shows of disrespect," James said coldly. "Get out of my sight, Snivellus, before I make it more." He added an extra glower at Snape before the Slytherin stalked off.
"Good job, James," Remus whispered in his ear, him and Peter releasing Sirius. James nodded in thanks, yet remained quiet. It took all of his self control and more to not jump on Snape and rip out his throat, bare handed.
"Let's go guys, this place gives me the creeps," Peter suggested. The rest of the walk to the library was silent, but not uncomfortable. No doubt each Marauder was quietly planning their revenge on Snape for all of the foul things the boy had done in his life.
---
Lily decided to leave as soon as possible. A few hours after the funeral, both she and Marlene were packing. They had not gone to the after service, held in a small, select inn where people could have refreshments and talk about the much missed Evans family. Lily had seen Petunia, lips pursed in an angry, thin line, leaving with a whale like man in a crisp, black suit. Lily and Marlene assumed this must be Vernon Dursley.
A door slammed somewhere near the front of the house. Petunia must have come back. Lily and Marlene were nearly finished packing and had hoped to go before Petunia came home. Lily could feel a confrontation brewing up, though she hadn't even seen her sister yet. She hoped to Merlin that she was wrong. However, there was no such luck. The door to Lily's room was shoved open violently and in came a fuming Petunia, who started yelling immediately, her horse like face screwed up in anger.
"YOU-YOU LITTLE FREAK! AND THAT ABNORMAL THING NEXT TO YOU! HOW DARE YOU RUIN THIS DAY? YOU ALREADY RUINED MUM AND DAD'S VERY EXISTENCE, BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, IS IT? YOU HAD TO RUIN THEIR FUNERAL TOO!" Petunia shrieked at Lily. Lily cowered backwards slightly; Petunia had an insane look in her eye, one Lily had only seen in Bellatrix Black a few years earlier. Bellatrix, who had been a few years older at the time, was taunting her and about to curse her before Professor Dumbledore came to her rescue.
"Leave Lily alone!" yelled back Marlene. Obviously, she wasn't afraid of Petunia. But as Lily's older sister rounded on Marlene, Lily felt fear again. Marlene had never faced Petunia like Lily had and she could safely say that those times were experiences she could well deal without.
"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME, YOU- YOU- YOU WITCH! TOYING WITH THE AUDIENCE LIKE THAT IN THAT HORRENDOUS SPEECH YOU MADE! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO GO UP THERE AND TALK. HOW DARE YOU CONSIDER MY PARENTS A SECOND FAMILY? AND LILY! LILY IS NOTHING LIKE MUM AND DAD. THEY WERE KIND, CARING PEOPLE FULL OF LOVE AND WARMTH, WHERE LILY IS JUST AN ABNORMAL FREAK THAT SHOULD BE DEAD. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HER INSTEAD OF MUM AND DAD IN THOSE COFFINS! THEY DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE, BUT SHE DOES!" Petunia yelled in her shrill voice, her harsh words hurting Lily much more then even Petunia realised. Marlene, however, was not about to let Petunia create even more pain for Lily.
"Listen here, Petunia," Marlene began, spitting out the name like it was a piece of dirt. "Lily is a beautiful person, inside and out. You don't deserve her as a sister. It is in no way her fault that your parents are dead. Don't you dare threaten Lily like that again. She's not a 'little freak', like you put it. Your parents were more proud of Lily than they could ever be of a horse faced, ugly, anorexic, bimbo like you." Marlene's voice, after the first sentence had turned dangerously low and ice cold. Even Petunia was backing away slightly. Marlene looked Petunia straight in the eye before grabbing her wand and sticking it out, calling for the Knight Bus. Petunia's eyes widened at the thin wooden stick and she made as if to run away. Marlene then proceeded to point the wand straight between Petunia's eyes.
"Mar…" Lily said tentatively.
"I'll do it. Give me a reason not to," Marlene spoke in a silky, frozen tone that made Lily shiver. Petunia made a strange noise. BANG! The Knight Bus had arrived. "Get out of here, Petunia," ordered Marlene. Petunia bolted.
"Wow," Lily whispered in shock.
"Someone had to. Don't worry; I wouldn't have really cursed her. It's rather fun taunting her, though," Marlene replied lightly. Her whole demeanour had changed instantly. She was back to the Marlene Lily known, warm, caring and fun. Lily had only seen this other side of Marlene twice before and it really scared her every time. But this time that fear was over ridden by gratitude. Marlene was briskly zipping up her bags. With one last look backwards, Lily walked over to the Knight Bus.
"Leaving your home so soon?" asked the conductor merrily.
"No. This isn't my home; Hogwarts is," whispered Lily. Both girls settled them selves and prepared for another silent yet bumpy ride back to the castle of Hogwarts.
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