Hanku: (looks around) Well the last Chapter of Crazy-Ass Saga is done.
Lee3: (appears out of nowhere) Ha, did you really think I would end this fic this early?
Hanku: Well, how many more chapters are there?
Lee3: This is the last one.
Hanku: I thought the previous chapter was the last one?
Lee3: Like the Anime Excel-Saga I'm doing an Epilogue chapter that makes no sense whatsoever.
Excel: (appears out of nowhere) Start the disclaimer!
Lee3: I don't…aww figure it out. Excel?
Excel: Yes (Lee pulls the rope and she falls into the pit)? WHY?!
Lee3: FOR TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!! RUN IT!!!
The Stupid Epilogue
Excel & Elgala: HAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL ILPALAZZO!!!
Hyatt: zzo.
Lee: Yo.
Excel: Hey, how did you get back here?
Lee: The main story is over so the Plot doesn't apply here.
Ilpalazzo: True. Anyway, I'm giving you guys the day off.
Excel & Elgala: But what about…
Lee: Rome wasn't built in a day…let's go (departs).
Excel: But what about (Lee & Ilpalazzo pull two separate ropes and Excel, Elgala and Hyatt fell into the pit)…AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(At the Apartment)
Elgala: So, because the main plot is over the author put you back in this chapter for comedic purposes?
Lee: (frustrated) For the last time, YES!!! Damn, Excel got the message after the 5th time I explained it…WHY IS IT TAKING YOU LONGER?!
Elgala: (smiles) I don't know.
Excel: You don't know much of anything!
Lee: Neither do you.
Excel: I know that!
Hyatt: Um…Senior?
Excel: What is it (sees Hyatt in the worst shape ever) HOLY T-CAKES!!!
Lee & Elgala: Did you just say "Holy T-cakes"?
Excel: …Sorry about that (Hyatt vomits a lot more blood than usual and then dies).
Elgala: (trembles at the sight of so much blood) So…much…blood…everywhere.
Lee: (stoic) You all do know that if the cops ever saw this we could get arrested.
Excel: Unless Hyatt got up.
Lee: I guess that's true (see Elgala freaking out). Are you okay Kasumi?
Elgala: I'm…fine (faints).
Excel: Great, now we have a fainter.
????: (speaking through a megaphone from outside the apartment) Yo Lee, your momma's ass is so big that when she sits down she's three feet taller!
Lee: (quizzical) What the hell is going on outside?
Excel: (looks out the window) There's some guy outside with a megaphone (Lee rushes towards the window).
Lee: Oh, I know who that is…watch this (teleports a 1 ton anvil over the guy's head).
????: Your momma's so fat her belt size is…(the anvil falls on his head) OOOWWWWWWW!!! DAMMIT THAT HURT!!!
Lee: (laughing) That jackass wasn't expecting that!
Excel: (laughing as well) No kidding.
????: (pissed) Laugh at me will you (takes out a remote control from his pocket)? Then take this (pushes the button)!
Elgala: (wakes up) What's going on?
Excel: Lee just teleported an…a…
Lee: Anvil.
Excel: Anvil on some asshole's head (gets ejected by part of the floor) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Elgala: What just happened?
Lee: Quite simple Kasumi Munakata, the kid knew that I was going to look out the window when he made those tired-ass "Yo Momma" jokes. So while we were out earlier today he rigged the floor with an Ejector Platform! Unfortunately for him he didn't account on Excel standing where I was supposed to stand and she fell victim the prank that I love oh so much.
Elgala: Thank you Sherlock Holmes.
Lee: You're welcome Kasumi.
Elgala: You heard my thoughts?!
Lee: We all can.
????: Hey, quit ignoring me!
Elgala: FUCK YOU (gives the guy the finger)!!!
????: WHAT? THAT'S IT I'M COMING UP THERE!!!
Lee: Fine with me (two RCP 90s appear, one in each hand).
????: (from two floors down) OUT OF ORDER?! EVEN IN 2004 NOTHING WORKS!!!
Lee: (points the guns at the door) He's coming up the stairs. The Elevator doesn't work?
Elgala: Are we in danger?
Lee: No, it's just harmless fun between us guys…where's Mince?
Elgala: Mince (Mince falls from the hole in the hole Excel made)? Oh there you are…hmm nothing seems to be bruised or broken (Excel lands in front of the still defunct Hyatt).
Excel: Ow.
Lee: He's right outside. Stay here you guys.
Excel: Where are we going to go?
(At the other side of the door)
????: Lee is on the other side waiting for me…better get ready. (Brings out an SG5 Commando)
(A/N: Just for the record I have never played 007: Nightfire. I have played Goldeneye and that's it. I'm assuming that the SG5 Commando is an automatic weapon.)
(Back in the room)
Lee: BUSTED (starts shoot at the door knowing that the bullets were armor piercing)!!!
????: OOOOOWW!!
Lee: Gotcha (opens the two find the kid lying on the ground)…wait a second…it's too easy.
????: Jackass (gets up and starts shooting like crazy)!
Lee: (gets shot several times) DAMMIT!!!
????: (reloads the gun) I knew I should have put more than 50 bullets in this thing (Lee's tail wraps around his neck)! Oh shit (gets thrown into the wall behind Lee and then he was thrown out the window)! Crap!
Lee: (jumps out the same window and starts shooting) Eat this you bastard!
????: (hits the ground and rolls away before the bullets made contact) Talk about close.
Lee: (Lands and gets in a few more shots that made contact before the guns ran out of ammo.) Guns can only do so much (throws the guns into a dimensional pocket and got into a fighting stance).
????: (points his gun at his opponent) Too bad you're out of…(Lee fires an energy blast that destroys the gun) ammo (gets into a fighting stance).
(At the Department of City Security)
Iwata: (in a Power Rangers-like costume) Hey guys!
Matsuya: Iwata, why are you in that ridiculous getup?
Iwata: I don't know, I guess the author is having a crazy day.
Watanabe: Especially, since this doesn't happen until volume 9 in the manga!
Iwata: So? I don't care because I'm no longer in that Roppanmatsu body.
Matsuya: I think we are all happy about that.
Sumiyoshi: Does the fact that we don't even have the right to die disturb everyone?
Watanabe: WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
Sumiyoshi: Yes.
(Back at the Apartment)
Lee: I knew it was you the whole time…Hanku.
Hanku: Well then…shall we fight?
Lee: I don't care.
(Michelle from "Read or Die the TV" appears out of nowhere.)
Michelle: (acts all Sailor Moonish) You guys are friends and you must never fight against each other.
Lee: I thought I told you to where a bra next time. In fact, what are you doing here?
Michelle: I don't know.
Hanku: Why did you tell her to wear a bra?
Lee: Because her tits kept flopping around every time she made any form of movement.
Hanku: Oh.
Michelle: (points a paper bow & arrow at both Lee and Hanku) What did you say?!
Lee: I'm tired of this shit (disappears and reappears behind Michelle). I'm gonna love this (claws extend from hiswrists and he stabbed Michelle in the back and threw her straight up in the air). Finish her.
Hanku: Got it (fires and energy blast at the dying Paper Master, thus killing her).
Elgala: Hey guys they're showing anime porn on TV!
Lee & Hanku: Decent (both head for the apartment).
(Headquarters)
Ilpalazzo: (reading a magazine) Hmm, visually appealing. I think I'll pull the rope for no good reason (pulls it).
(At the apartment)
Lee: (watching TV with everyone else) I call this porno with a plot.
Hanku: In a way all pornos have plots.
Lee: I'm talking about a plot OTHER THAN mindless sex.
Hyatt: (revives) Is it morning yet?
Excel: No, it's just the same boring day.
Elgala: I wish something would happen.
Lee: What about the shootout Hanku and I had just now?
Excel: We've been through that before.
Elgala: I haven't.
Hyatt: I was in a fire.
Excel: (shudders) Don't remind me.
Hanku: I think the author is about to end this fic once and for all.
Lee: Is that true Author?
Lee3: (as a voice over) Yep, isn't being the author cool?
Lee: Was comedy all I was good for?
Lee3: Yep.
Hanku: Damn, you suck.
Lee: I know.
(Excel and Elgala fall through the floor.)
Excel & Elgala: WHY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!
The End…Seriously
Antics: Q & A
Excel: Why did you bring Hanku into this story?
Lee3: Like Lee said, the main story was already over…this was just a silly Epilogue.
Hyatt: Why (vomits a shit-load of blood and dies)…
Lee3: (annoyed) I got a question: Why does Hyatt die all the time?
Excel: You're asking us?
Hanku: Why didn't the cool fight scene take place?
Lee3: I was lazy…give me a break I just had my Geology final.
Elgala: Why is Senior Excel so mean?
Lee3: Because you're a dumbass…this Q & A is over.
Antics: Realization
(The following Antics short is a parody of Afro Man's "Because I Got High". The song is called "Because I Realized"…enjoy.)
Lee: I was gonna clean my room, before I realized
I was gonna get up and get the vacuum, but I realized
That I didn't feel like it and I know why, yeah because I realized, because I
realized, because I realized, la da da da da da da
Excel: I was gonna go for a drive, before I realized
I was gonna steal a car and go overdrive, but I realized
I don't know how to drive and I know why, yeah because I realized, because I
Realized, because I realized, la da da da da da da
Hyatt: I was gonna try not to die, before I realized
I was gonna put up a good fight, but I realized
I'm dying anyway and I know why, yeah because I realized, because I realized,
because I realized, la da da da da da da
Elgala: I was gonna stop thinking aloud before I realized
My thought were heard all around, but I realized
That wasn't gonna happen and I know why, yeah because I realized, because I
Realized, because I realized, la da da da da da da
Lee: We should stop singing this song because we realized
This fic is so fucking wrong and I realized
If I get my ass reported I'll know why, yeah because I realized, because I realized, because I realized, la da da da da da da
Osama was never gonna get caught before I realized
We telegraphed every move and I realized
If it takes another five years I'll know why yeah, because I realized, because I realized, because I realized, la da da da da da da da
La da da da da da da da da da da
Excel: We have realized a lot of shit guys.
Hanku: Get jiggy wit it skippy…how was it supposed to go?
Lee: Scat ain't for you man.
Hyatt: I think I'm gonna…(vomits blood and die)
Elgala: NOT AGAIN!!!
Lee: My name is Lee and I'm from Bakersfield
It's nowhere near beaches or anything that is cool
Conservatives out of the fuckit allup
No wonder the kids want to get the fuck out
Hanku: This chapter made no sense.
Lee: Better to end this shit now.
Lee3: Crazy-ass Saga is done…not that many of you were reading this anyway. I'm done with finals and College until January. Review, flame, email me, whatever.
Special Thanks:
Hanku- Thanks for the reviews. They're really uplifting and they still remain funny. If I got that gun wrong I'm sorry. I hope you're not mad that I put you in this silly-ass Epilogue. I must have had that SG5 Commando thing stuck in my head at the time. Throw in a little dementedness. Besides, the main story was already over.
Until Next Time.