Chapter Three:
Pain
November, 2005. The Smith family held the small candlelight vigil for their daughter, and her best friend, both murdered a year ago.
Rhiannon's mother kneeled at the tombstone, looking at the dates. 1989 to 2004 it said, but it felt like Rhiannon had grown up in a day, and died the next. "I know it's been a year, but it still feels fresh.." A tear slipped out of the corner of her emerald green eye, as she looked up into the clouded sky. She had become reclusive, speaking only when she had to, withdrawing from all the community activities she had been in before Rhiannon's murder. In the school she'd attended, there were rumours constantly, ranging from the truth, to the most outlandish conspiracy ideas. The majority of the people hadn't known her, and had only known about the trouble between her and Jose two years ago. Jose's friends would call her a slut and a tramp, even if they hadn't know her. Rhiannon's friends would call him a bastard control freak, and when it got right down to it, opinions just circulated over and over and over.
It was one of those typical nights, a particularly cold on in November, when it began to rain. People began to leave the cemetery, including Rhiannon's mother. She took one look at the stone, a dark shade of grey stone with her daughter's name engraved on it.Atop the tombstone was a celtic cross, even though Rhiannon wasn't Celtic. She had always had an affinity for crosses, even though she was strictly against christianity and most organized religion.
There was a flash of lightning, and the strobe-like light seemed to make everything shudder, as if it was suffereing from the elements. Another flash, brighter than the first, struck a tree nearby Rhiannon's grave. A crow flew from it's branch, letting out a loud caw, as it landed on the cross. As it struck the stone, a quiet, low rumble sounded, coming from under the ground this time. There was a muffle scream, sounds of agony from another layer of sound beneath that of the rain. The earth began to tremble, the tombstone itsself shaking and the crow flew off it, landing on the ground near it. It cocked it's small black head, the bead-like eyes glistening almost with curiousity.
It was then that the mahogany coffin lid splintered enough for her body to squeeze out, clawing at the dirt and gasping for air. She was surrounded in blackness, unable to see anything,not knowing if she was even hallucinating or if it was reality. A tiny speck of light became visible, as water dripped onto her face. She gasped involuntarily, inhaling chunks of dirt, earth's lowest creatures crawlings over her body. She surfaced out of the dirt, pulling herself free down to the waist out of the dirt, and she shrieked, in confusion, pain. Her voice seemed to shake the cemetery's ground, the sky, everything, as her voice echoed into a drawn out howl, seeming to emanate from her soul, the deepest darkest part of human feelings, stemming from one of man's most basic emotions: Pain. Rhiannon crawled out of the grave and lay in the dirt, shuddering in the cold November downpour, wishing to god she knew who she was again. She looked up at the black, watery sky, her eyes seeming to tremble, almost completely white in death. A flash of blackness got her attention, as she recoiled, seeing the crow setting down in front of her. She turned her head, looking at it in a fearful curiousness, almost as if she feared it. It croaked quietly, a low guttural noise. Rhiannon looked into it's black, mysterious eyes and whispered painfully.
"..What am I..?"
In the months following Rhiannon and Yvonne's murder, the Smith famliy had moved from the over a century old apartment they had lived in when she had been alive, to a small house downtown. There were still boxes of things they had left behind, as they had decided to leave the house as it was, and keep most of Rhiannon's things there, leaving it almost as a shrine. It was boarded up, but most of it was how it had been left. They had been so anxious to leave the pain behind, they spared no time.
As Rhiannon stumbled down her old street, wearing her filthy burial clothes, She kept thinking to herself that it couldn't be real, that this was all one horrible nightmare, and any second she'd wake up. But she followed the black bird, looking up every so often to makesure it was still above her. She passed people one the street, who gave her dirty looks, or asked her for money, but it was like memory-voices; barely there, and hard to believe in.
The crow landed on Rhiannon's shoulder as she turned into the asphalt parkinglot of where she had lived since she was seven.
'I know this place..but I don't know where it is..God, what the hell is going on? And why does my head hurt so goddamned bad?"
From out of nowhere, Rhiannon was slammed with the worse migraine she had felt in her entire life. She groaned in pain, falling to her knees, clutching her head, the crow landing a few feet from her. Memories flooded her mind, reminding her again of who she was, and what she had lost..
"Rhi, you'll love it here, I promise"
"Come one, honey, you don't want to be late for your first day of school."
"Lucky 13, happy birthday! When are you getting your driver's license?"
"I'm so sorry about your grandma, Rhiannon..she was a good woman."
"Rhiannon Marie Smith, graduated from St.James's Catholic middle school, good luck in highschool."
"I love you, Rhiannon.."
The voices echoed like they were cast down a tunnel, warped and barely understandable. Images flashed in her head, behind her eyes, watered down and shifty like an old grainy film. Faces she knew but couldn't place, events that were so familiar but alienating, and so much pain. The knowledge of nothingness, of emptiness fueling her confusion, deepening her need to know what was going on.
Rhiannon pulled herself up off the asphalt, for the first time looking at where she was, knowing full well. It's red-weathered bricks still stood,but all the lights were out of the windows, no sound coming from the place she had once called home. There was a clang, from the dumpster behind her house. Rhiannon began to walk towards it, seeing a large white figure rooting around in it. When it dropped down, she saw it was her dog, whom she had thought died.
"..Duncan? Holy fuck.."
Duncan snarled quietly before hearing his name, when his ears perked up. His warm brown eyes focused on the blue-grey form of this familiar girl. He started towards her, sniffing her hand.
"It's me, Dunc...I thought you were dead, come here you mutt." She grabbed the dog and hugged him tightly, crying as she felt his warm pink tongue against her cold, wet cheek.
Rhiannon picked up the white and apricott coloured lab/husky mix and weakly carried him up the stairs, the crow hopping up the railing. She put Duncan down, kneeling to the floormat, now covered in dirt and leaves, and pulled the extra key from under it. "God, they never changed..still so forgetful.."
She unlocked the long-closed wooden door, and stepped into her house.
The second she touched the kitchen floor, her head began to pound again. "Oh god, not again..." She moaned, her legs weakening. She dropped Duncan, letting him run through the house, as she slammed the door after the bird flew in. It landed on the counter, cawwing loudly. Rhiannon looked at the light-wood floor, stained red almost everywhere. Stained from that night. Memories began to flood her head again, her body shaking helplessly as she sunk against the door.
"She was beautiful, 19 years old, in the prime of her life. She was Yvonne Lagenkamp, a wonderful person, an amazingly talented artist. Struck down in a vicious attack on her best friend, we remember her today..""
The unseen images of Yvonne's mother sobbing at the funeral, the pre-requisite words of those who hadn'y hardly known Yvonne.
"Goddamnit, Yvonne I love you! We're going to Vermont, I wanna marry you!
"You can't, you're too young stupid."
"Too bad! I'm gonna be your wife, and you're gonna be my wife! And we'll adopt kids and teach them how Old Navy is evil!"
The memories of a joy from so long ago, her precious Yvonne, before He had taken her away.
Rhiannon could still see her, lying lifeless in the pool of blood, innocent, guilty only of loving someone who had a less than stellar past.
"This is my fault..you're dead because of me..you're dead because you loved me, damn you.." Rhiannon buried her face in her muddied hands, sobbing harder then she ever had, wishing with all her heart she could bring Yvonne back. "I'll make him pay, I promise you. I'll make them pay for doing this to you...to us.."
Rhiannon got to her feet, turning to catch a glimpse of the crow as she headed into the bathroom.