Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.

Summary: [L/J 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death and betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within.

Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: PG-13

The Thunder Within

By SaveOurSouls

Chapter 4: 'Dwell on Dreams'

'It doesn't do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live,' spoken by Albus Dumbledore, PS/SS; The Mirror of Erised, page157

"Find anything yet?" Sirius asked him in a low voice, dropping a large stack of books down on one of the many tables in the library. The noise echoed dully, and people surrounding them looked up thoroughly annoyed at being disturbed by people who didn't take advantage of the library that often. That's what they were prone to think, anyway.

"No, 'fraid not," James replied, closing the book he had been browsing through shut. Sirius sighed in frustration and looked around, searching for the other two members of their group who had seemingly disappeared.

"Where's Moony or Wormtail?" he said turning to face James again. James shrugged. No sooner had Sirius asked when the two missing reappeared behind him, Peter carrying a book like it was a very exquisite, very expensive, crown jewel.

"We found it, the spell, it's in here," Peter said proudly, his round face shining with delight. Sirius picked it up and flipped it open to the page that had a piece of parchment marking the place of the spell. The mischievous grin that James knew all too well returned to his face.

"Brilliant, Wormtail!" he said with a laugh, clapping him on the back. "You're not so thick after all!" He received a sharp elbow in the ribs from Remus. James smiled. Admittedly, planning a prank had taken his mind off Lily. Peter had been right; when she returned he could try and talk to her.

They spent the rest of the afternoon planning to perfection, when, where, who and how they were going to perform a prank that they hoped would lighten the whole mood of the school. It was only when Madam Pince ordered them out the library for breaking into loud bouts of laughter, did they return to the Gryffindor common room.

---

Lily woke up feeling less then cheerful and had a huge urge to turn over and go back to sleep again, though she doubted she could even if she wanted to. She sat up slowly and looked around the sun lit dormitory. Everyone else, including Marlene, appeared to be sleeping. When they had arrived back at Hogwarts it was raining heavily, the beginnings of a storm brewing. The wind had picked up a fair bit and had been swirling around the grounds in violent gusts and Lily wanted nothing more then to be in her bed fast asleep, apparently she had got what she wanted though it still felt like she hadn't been asleep at all.

She slowly got to her feet, blood rushing back into her limbs and the uncomfortable feeling of pins and needles entering her toes. As silently as she could she moved across the dormitory and towards the Girls' bathrooms. She got up and dressed silently, her head spinning uncomfortably; she was in half a mind to go and visit Madam Pomfrey for a Pepper Up potion, though the other half stopped her from doing so. I just need to get some fresh air, she thought, her eyes travelling to the window, overlooking the grounds. The sun was rising slowly from the east, catching the dew left on the grass from the heavy rainfall the night before. It was a beautiful morning. Lily glanced at her watch and found it was barely past six, it was highly unlikely that anybody would be up and about at this time of day.

---

As she predicted there was nobody wondering the corridors of Hogwarts this early in the morning and she was half grateful for that, she didn't feel up to seeing anybody at that precise moment.

The sun touched her skin, its warmth spreading over her pleasurably. The air seemed to be refreshed after the previous night's violent weather and, with a few deep breaths Lily was feeling slightly better. The air surrounding Hogwarts seemed so much cleaner than even the small village which she had been in yesterday for the funerals. She walked towards the lake, the water gently lapping at the rocks, sparkling in the light. By the time she had reached the edge, the bottom of her robes were soaked. She didn't mind in the slightest, though; she was too busy relaxing in the peaceful atmosphere.

She sat down on a large rock near the edge, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. The sounds of birds twittering madly from the forest reached her ears and she smiled weakly to her self, before it flickered and died. Why does Petunia have to be such a burden? Or is it the other way round… am I the burden? I'm the one who doesn't belong anywhere. I consider Hogwarts my home now, in fact, I think I always have, but there are people who don't want me here. Mum and Dad, they'd have been horrified if I had told them… they would've taken me out of Hogwarts… I guess I'll never know, they're dead and there's nothing I can do to bring them back.

She felt tears well in her eyes as she remembered the events of the previous day, the day when her parents had been buried. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't rid herself of the mental image of their coffins being lowered into the ground. She wiped her eyes in vain, pushing her hair out of her eyes. She had told herself that she wouldn't cry anymore, but so far, it hadn't been working. Hopefully, this would be the last time.

---

James soared higher and higher in dizzying circles until he was more then a hundred feet above the Hogwarts grounds. It was a fine morning for flying on his top of the range broomstick, the Nimbus 1500, and as it had been one of the few decent mornings the weather had brought so far, he wasn't about to let a morning such as this be wasted. He did a few loops to let out his feelings and went into a dive; it was the biggest adrenaline rush seeing the ground speeding towards you and then missing it by inches. He loved flying; it was one of his few real passions, putting his broom through its paces, testing it to its limits.

He headed for the ground, checking his watch on the way down. After flying so early in the morning, he normally showered before either going to classes or into Hogsmeade. His friends couldn't understand his enthusiasm for getting up early and left him to it. He didn't mind being alone for a few hours, it gave him a chance to think about things that perhaps other students thought he wasn't capable of feeling or thinking for that matter. In truth he could be deep sometimes, though he preferred taking things light heartedly, he found it made things- news, easier to cope with.

He looked over towards the lake and was startled to see a lone figure sitting on the rock huddled, as if trying to become as inconspicuous as possible. He jerked his broom in their direction interested to see who, apart from him, had dragged themselves out of bed at this time in the morning. His heart skipped a bit and he swallowed, feeling his throat go instantly dry… but… she wasn't meant to be back here for days. That's what Dumbledore told him, anyway.

He headed for the ground and landed effortlessly. He had half a mind to leave her to herself, though the nagging part of his brain was telling him not to ignore her and go and talk to her… He was going to have to at some point and it may as well be when nobody else was around to stare and pry. He had been completely unaware that he was already walking in her direction even as he had been thinking about it.

James approached her cautiously; he had been on the receiving end of her temper more than once and had always tried to stop himself putting a foot in it after it. Though, he had failed miserably, he couldn't help showing off the minute he got near her.

"Lily?" he said feeling his voice wobble slightly.

---

Lily turned her head to see who had spoken; her eyes found James Potter, broomstick in hand, meters from where she sat. Trust him to come and pry, she thought bitterly, turning away back towards the lake.

"Lily? Are you okay?" he asked her again. Lily laughed mercilessly, the usually musical sound holding nothing but emptiness. It was a flat, haunting laugh that was enough for anyone to turn and walk far away from her. Of course, the question was a stupid one for him to ask as it was quite obvious she was anything but okay. But Lily didn't really expect any more from James Potter.

"Fine, just fine," she said wiping away the tears blurring her vision. She felt him sit down on the rock next to her, placing his broomstick on his right side.

"I-I… didn't, expect to see you back… so soon," he said struggling to commit his voice to the words flowing out of his mouth.

"I didn't expect to be back so soon," she said quietly, even surprising her self.

"Oh, um, didn't things go to plan?" James said awkwardly, knowing the subject was probably a sore spot for her.

"Not exactly. My sister, Petunia- the one you saw in the Pensive… she-she doesn't like me," Lily swallowed, the familiar feeling of tears building up in her eyes, "She hates me in fact. I-she blames me for everything, then- then at the f-f-funeral, she didn't mention me at all… if it wasn't for Mar, then I doubt anyone would've known mum and dad had had me. Petunia went ballistic when she arrived home, she started screeching at me and then at Mar for standing up for me… she said the most…terrible things. She wishes I was dead." Why she was relieving all of this to Potter she hadn't a clue, but she needed to say it out loud, she couldn't keep what had happened bottled up, she supposed it was just convenience that he had appeared.

---

James sat in a stunned silence. He couldn't believe how anyone could do something so horrible to such a beautiful, kind, and caring person.

"Don't take any notice of what your sister said Lily, it doesn't seem like she knows you at all," James said hoping and praying he had said the right thing to her.

"And I suppose you know me?" Lily said with a weak smile. Usually, that question would have been asked snappishly, but at the moment Lily had no energy to waste. James returned the smile. That question was what Lily would have said before all of this had happened to her. He was glad she hadn't lost her wit; she wouldn't be the same without it.

"As well as you've ever allowed me to know you. Though, you'd be surprised at half the things I know about… people," James said, realising his mistake and correcting it. If he had said that she would have been surprised at the things he knew about her, it would have given the impression that he was a stalker, but people was a nice save. "And, if you'd let me, I'd like to get to know you a lot better."

He saw Lily debating with herself, her eyes wandering about his face pensively. "Maybe I will sometime, James," she said absentmindedly, turning back to the lake. James felt a grin fighting its way to his face. That was the most pleasant thing she had said to him in a long time, if not ever.

James looked at his watch, which read quarter past seven, if he was going to get a shower before everyone started getting up, he needed to leave now.

"Are you going to come back to Gryffindor Tower?" he asked, watching her carefully.

"I guess, Marlene will be wondering where I am," she said standing up. James too got up and together they walked back up towards the warm confines of the castle.

---

It must have looked odd to anyone looking out of a window up at the castle, to see two people, who were known for their fights, walking quite peacefully up to the castle in each others company. Lily was unaware of this factor. She found she cared less about what people thought about her. They had seen her receive news of her parents' deaths and go through the stages of mourning; she hadn't cared in that instance and she as certain as hell didn't care now. For some bizarre reason that was the second time she had found solace in James Potter, not a comfort as in how Marlene was there for her, but a comfort with no certain definition. It wasn't as if they were even friends.

The walk back to Gryffindor tower was mainly silent, Lily was deep in thought once more, and she had a feeling that James didn't want to disturb her in such a pensive state. James mumbled the password to the Fat Lady and they entered the common room. At that time in the morning there still weren't many people around, although a few were sat around finishing off homework due in later in the day.

Lily shook her self out of her state and turned to James as they came to the foot of their respective staircases.

"Thank you for…you know, listening to me, not many people would…" she said quietly so that the people in the common room didn't overhear. The last thing she wanted at the moment was people going around spreading rumours about her and James Potter. He grinned.

"It's okay. I believe it was me who approached you, not the other way round," he said with a shrug. Lily gave him another weak smile; it was all she could muster at that particular moment she still seemed to be fighting an internal battle with herself. She walked up the spiral staircase and entered the girls' dormitory. Marlene was there up and dressed obviously awaiting her arrival.

"Where have you been?" she said her voice filled with concern.

"Outside," Lily replied, taking off her winter cloak and sitting on the end of Marlene's bed. Looking around she saw that everybody else still appeared to be asleep. She shared her dormitory with three other girls; all of which she was on friendly terms with, though no one could compare with Marlene, they were the best of friends and she doubted anything would change that. Marlene looked at her incredulously.

"At this time in the morning?" she said sounding mildly impressed. Lily nodded, feeling a small smile appear on her face.

"Um, I woke up early and I needed to get some fresh air, my head was pounding," she said truthfully. Marlene's face creased in to a frown and Lily could tell she was scrutinising whether or not she was all right. She relaxed and smiled, before asking in a low whisper,

"When are you going to start coming back to classes? I'm not trying to push you into anything, and I certainly don't think you ought to go today, I was just wondering when you thought you'd feel ready…" Marlene trailed off.

"Not just yet, maybe- maybe in a few more days at the very least. I still need to sort a few things out in my head," Lily replied. Marlene nodded supportively and began to gather her school books together that she would need for today's lessons, stuffing them hastily into her bag.

"Are you coming down to breakfast?" she said straightening her self out. Lily shook her head; she wasn't ready to face a load of people giving her sympathetic stares, either that or taunting her about her parents deaths, smirking as they did so. "Okay then, I'll guess I'll see you at break and lunch. Take care of your self Lily," she said, hugging her tightly, "and don't dwell on it, it will just make you feel worse," she whispered, before leaving Lily to herself.

Not soon after Marlene left, the other girls in the dormitory rose. She had drawn her hangings around her bed to ensure her privacy and then lay back, staring at the velvet hangings above her as if they were the answer to her problems, which they definitely didn't.

---

James, heartened by the fact Lily hadn't been repulsed by his presence, had showered and got dressed quickly, making slightly more noise then usual and waking up the inhabitants of his dormitory. The only one who had been awake at the time of his entry was Remus, who had grinned at him knowingly before disappearing into the Boys' bathrooms. James had the feeling that he had seen himself and Lily walking back to Hogwarts.

Half an hour later and the whole dormitory were up, packing their bags for the days lessons. James hung back and waited for Sirius as Peter and Remus departed to breakfast with Davey Gudgeon, the final member of the dormitory.

"Is there a reason why you came in late from flying your broomstick, or shall I just dismiss it as nothing?" Sirius asked swinging his bag over his shoulder and looking at James with the well known grin on his face. James felt his jaw drop slightly; he should have known better then to trust the "sleeping form" of his friends. Sirius's grin got wider. James relaxed.

"There was actually, though I know you already know, so there's absolutely no point in me saying, is there?"

"No there isn't. I have to say though Prongs you finally, for once, didn't look like you put your foot in it. You didn't, did you?" he added raising an eyebrow condescendingly. James grinned. Sirius may have been watching him and Lily, but he didn't know what they had talked about.

"No I didn't… for once I didn't and she thanked me! Padfoot she thanked me!" he said eyes bright with merriment. Sirius laughed good-naturedly and clapped him on the back.

"'Bout bloody time Prongs, took you long enough. Just don't push it too far too soon, let her come to you next time, she is after all still recovering from her parents," he advised wisely. James nodded in agreement. He hadn't been planning to do anything more for a while. He didn't want to push his luck too soon and he was very much aware of her problems.

James scanned the Great Hall as soon as they entered looking for any wisps of red hair that may belong to Lily herself; he spotted Marlene McKinnon sitting with some of the other seventh year Gryffindor girls, talking to them quietly. By pure chance Remus and Peter had seated themselves not a few places from her.

James sat down and looked over the piles of toast, assortments of butter and hot full English breakfasts that the Hogwarts students could eat. Today, he wasn't feeling particularly hungry for some reason, which was quite surprising, as normally after getting up so early he was famished. He took up a piece of toast and buttered it lightly.

He looked up and found he had a clear view of the Slytherin table. They sat in suspicious clumps, talking hurriedly to one another, the occasional snigger and smirk thrown in for good measure. However, this was normal behaviour, James was well aware that the teachers' happened to be keeping an extremely close eye on the offending table, even if it appeared they were having their own discussions.

Remus attracted his attention my giving a fake cough, "So then, James. Gorgeous morning isn't it?" he said his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Very," James replied biting into his toast.

"I bet the grounds, looked very… beautiful," he said suppressing a snigger.

"Yes, they did," James replied playing along to his friend's antics, not normal Remus behaviour, though it was getting to the first fourteen days after the full moon, when he experienced a change of mood daily. "Now, if you've finished, Moony, we have a prank to complete," he said leaning over so he wasn't overheard by anyone else.

---

Lily, after making sure that everyone was in their lessons, had ventured down to the uninhabited common room with a book that she had long forgotten she had. The edges were curling, the creases in the spine and discordant colours all pointing towards the fact that it had been read over and over again. She had first read it at the tender age of nine, the Christmas before her birthday in the summer. It had been a gift from her parents, who weren't the richest parents in the world, though tried to provide comfort for both of their children.

She had read and read, not putting it down for the slightest break. At the dinner table she had hidden it on her lap, it was only when her mother had asked her what she was staring at did she reveal the fact she was deeply wrapped up in the book and its contents. True, it was a fairly large novel for a child of her age to read, but she had understood each word perfectly, a little odd, her parents admitted that, though they had only thought they had a wonderful child with a higher then average intelligence. How very wrong they were.

Lily sat there for what seemed hours, reading the book that she had long forgotten about, a book that had remained in her trunk since first year, but had never been read since. The book in question was The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R Tolkein, perhaps considered by many as one of the greatest fantasy writers of all time in the Muggle world. The rich descriptions he offered fascinated Lily to no end, it was one of the most captivating things she had read in her life.

She looked up from her position by the window as the portrait hole opened and five people entered the common room deep in what seemed to be an argument about… her.

---

Sorry it's been a while since the last update. We're both busily writing future chapters at the moment & I kind of forget to upload new ones here.

This story can also be found at FictionAlley too, under TheDarkArts category.

Oh yeah, we don't own The Lord of the Rings... wish I did though; I'd be a BILLIONAIRE!

Don't forget to review & thanks to everyone that already has!

xxoo anniePADFOOT