This chapter has been edited to fit under the rating of R. The original version will be made available upon request.

Chapter 10

Red. Blue. White.

Twirling. Swirling.

Colours dancing patterns on the walls as a cop car drove past, sirens wailing.

Stillness cramped the room. Promises of kisses and much more hung in the air, waiting to either be grabbed up or crumble to the floor.

The smell of alcohol was gone. Just the essence of Summer's perfume, Ryan's soap and something indistinguishable from the kitchen, clouded the air.

Summer could feel Ryan watching her. His eyes on the crown of her head, penetrating. Summer wouldn't look up. Couldn't. The rejection would kill her.

Maybe Ryan knew that. He had to know.

She felt his fingers first. Gentle on her face where he touched her cheek and made her lift her chin. And then it was his whole body turning to hold her.

For a long time, he just held her like that. Touched her slow so he wouldn't miss an inch. His fingers ran down the back of her arms, sending wild shivers to her toes; his cheek, with the barest trace of stubble, rubbed against hers, making her aware of all the little nerve endings along her jaw; the coarse material of his jeans scratched against the thin layer of cotton against her legs, making her skin hypersensitive. And then it happened. He kissed her. And it was different than ever before. It was soft and light, but there was something there, something she'd never paid attention to. There was this energy that seemed to course between them, flooding into her body and making her feel lighter than air.

Ryan pulled out of the kiss. "Summer-"

"Don't," she said, bringing her fingers to his lips, silencing him. She was afraid to let him speak; afraid it would turn into more apologies and disappointment. His hand covered hers and gently pried it away from his mouth, kissing the bandaid on her hand before letting it drop to her side. The corners of his lips turned up as he looked her in the eyes. And she knew, this time, he wasn't going to turn her away.

Slowly, he brought his hand back up to her face. It felt cool against her cheek and she relished in the contrast. Ryan let his thumb run over her bottom lip with tortured slowness. He moved in for a kiss, so close they were breathing the same air, and remained motionless. Summer could feel her heart racing in her chest. She waited. He was so close his features were a blur, indistinguishable lines. Somehow she knew the smile was still there.

His other hand slid down her back, pulling her hips closer. She could feel him through two layers of clothes. Hard, wanting her. Wanting her the same way she'd wanted him for months. It started a hunger inside her that she'd never felt before. It was deep in her belly and she trembled. It was finally happening.

"Close your eyes," Ryan demanded. And his voice was like the sun, so warm and controlled, wrapping around her so that she had to trust him.

Summer looked at him, his face so close their noses were touching, and blinked once before surrendering to his request.

The path he took was: forehead first, temple, cheek and then chin, as he bathed her face in slow, soft kisses that she didn't think she would ever forget. So feather light, she barely felt them, but they raised the need between her legs with each brief touch of his lips on her skin. His tongue swept across her bottom lip, his teeth nipping gently. And each time she tried to kiss him, to hold his mouth to hers, he pulled away. After the third time, she couldn't take it.

She looked at him through drowsy eyes. "Please. I want-" He cut off her words, crushing his lips against hers.

It was more, it was better, it was everything, that she'd pleaded for. His lips were warm and a little bit chapped and her own parted with the slightest coaxing. His tongue slipped past her lips, teasingly exploring her mouth before tangling with hers. She gasped and moaned at the same time. The feel of his tongue in her mouth, wet and encouraging, was stirring things inside her, making it hard to focus.

Then, his hands were against the back of her thighs and he was lifting her up, walking them into the bedroom, his mouth still moving over hers, their tongues still entwined.

Summer's stomach was flip-flopping. Half from anticipation, the rest from nerves. He set her down a foot from the bed, took a step back to look at her. Summer tried to catch her breath.

She had to touch him everywhere, touch his skin against hers. Feeling him stretching and moving over her, rubbing and sliding. She figured it had to be fast. Otherwise she might back out. All her experiences with men had taught her that they were in a rush to get into her pants. But Ryan was still watching her. Desire had darkened his eyes, making them stormy-grey. She stood awkwardly while he just watched. With everything he did, he seemed to gage her reaction. He wasn't just going to have sex with her, he was going to worship her. And as much as she wanted to reach out and touch him, she craved to be touched more.

The time for teasing was over, as he reached under her shirt and pulled it over her head. His mouth came down to hers and then he moved to her chin, her collarbone, the top of her breasts. Kissing, licking. Soft, tender. He wasn't in a hurry.

Sliding her bra off her shoulder, he kissed her there, moved his tongue down to more tender skin. His hands filled themselves with her breasts, massaging them. Yanking down the lacy material, his mouth worked on the exposed skin until he had her nipple in his mouth and his teeth were toying with her. She closed her eyes. Her legs felt weak and her heart felt full. Unhooking her bra, he got rid of it completely, tossing it aside.

There was a painful throbbing between her legs now. She could feel herself getting wet for him. She needed something...something to grind into, some way to release the tension coiling inside her.

Ryan walked her to the bed until it hit the back of her knees and she collapsed onto it. It was still unmade from that morning and the sheets felt cool against her.

She moved herself up onto the centre of the bed, laying flat on her back, her head raised, and this time she watched him. His breath was coming out ragged and strained. His clothing was ruffled and his jeans were much too tight to be comfortable. She licked her lips, the taste of Ryan still lingering there, as she waited for him to come to her.

It took him a moment before he walked the final step to the bed, his knee digging into the mattress as he lowered the rest of himself above her. His eyes clouded with emotion that bled into their next kiss. He shifted, moving to her side, one heavy leg between the both of hers.

Ryan's fingers glided across her stomach, moving downward. Fumbling with the drawstring holding up her pajama bottoms, he struggled to get them loose. Summer reluctantly broke the kiss to help ease the tight knot. Manoeuvring himself so he was straddling her, one muscular thigh on each side of her stomach, holding her in place, Ryan gripped the top of her pajamas, pulling them down her legs. Summer lifted up and helped kick them off, letting them fall to the floor. She was almost naked. There was just one scrap of material left on her body. She felt her cheeks heat, her blood begin to stir. God, he was so much closer now. They were so much closer to their goal, but seemingly still eons away.

Arching her back, she wiggled around, managing to grip his thigh between her legs, pressing her wet center against the denim of his jeans. The friction of the rough material against the soft cotton was almost enough to make her come right then. And she might have, if Ryan hadn't pulled back, taking her hands and raising them over her head so he could look at her. He kept her hands locked above her head, holding them tight in one hand while his other hand skimmed along her stomach, his finger pulling at the material of her underwear. Crooking his finger around the thin elastic band, he tugged them slowly off her hips, past her thighs and off her feet.

When his attention returned to her, his pupils were dilated. She liked the way his eyes travelled over her body, the way he sucked in his bottom lip when she tried to reach out to touch his thigh and drag him down onto the bed with her.

His mouth found hers again and a new onslaught of sensations began to roll through her. The kiss didn't hold him for long, though. He was already moving his mouth down the pulse point in her neck just as she was getting use to feel of his mouth against hers. The stretch of skin over her collarbone must have proved too tempting, because his tongue was already marking a path across it down to her breasts.

Bypassing her nipples, he licked the tender skin around her breasts until she didn't think she could stand it any longer. Replacing the loneliness of the air, Ryan allowed his tongue to find the aching tip of her breast. And then his hot mouth was over her, feeding heat against already scorching skin. Earlier, she'd sucked on his tongue and now, his mouth was applying the same pressure against her nipple. To say that he read her well was an understatement. Sinking further into the pillow supporting her head, Summer bucked, her hips rising off the bed, meeting his, her breasts pressing against his mouth in offering. Losing all sense of self-control, she struggled against him. She couldn't go one more second without touching him.

Finally, he released her hands and she was free to touch him. Lurching up, she pushed him back against the mattress so he was the one on his back, her legs pinning him down, and began her assault. She scrabbled with his clothes, wanting to touch and taste him the same way he was touching and tasting her. She wanted him naked and inside of her. More than anything she just wanted him.

Not able to get her fingers to coordinate, she gave up trying to undress him. Grinding into him, she bit his jaw, losing all control. She was so close. She could feel her orgasm spinning around inside her, ready to surface. She just needed... Ryan's hands against her hips halted her movements. Keeping her in his lap, he attempted to sit up. "Slow down," he said and swallowed thickly.

"I want to touch you," she said, breathily, fighting against the strength of his hands.

"You will." It was promise.

Summer held his eyes for a long minute, taking that moment to calm herself.

Thankful the buttons were already undone on his shirt, Summer slipped it off his shoulders easily, setting her targets on the long-sleeved shirt underneath. Tugging on the shirt, she pulled it from the waistband of his jeans and off his body, disappointed that there was another one underneath. The wife-beater was thin and stretched as she worked it over his head. She threw it to the floor. Just the sight of him, the sight of bare flesh that she was finally getting to touch and tongue, made her quiver. She needed him to know everything she was feeling inside. She needed him to know what he did to her, everything she could never express with words alone. Lurching forward, she pressed her lips to his chest, letting her tongue continue his brand of torture on his nipples. He hissed, his groin jerking upward.

Victory. It felt like she'd won because he wanted her and wasn't going to stop this time. And, that, no matter what, if tomorrow they decided it was a mistake, he would always be her first.

The skin of his back was taut and warm. The heat was addictive. She could feel his shoulder blades, the rise of his ribcage and the column of his spine under her fingertips. And it felt amazing. Letting her fingers continue their exploration, she felt the power in his muscles. It made her feel safe, protected. A trail of fine hair on his abdomen seemed to be leading her to the place she wanted most. She let her fingers trace the line, smiling as Ryan's stomach muscles tensed the closer she got to the waistband of his jeans.

Ryan resisted when she reached for his belt. She'd just gotten it undone when he pulled back, seizing her hand.

"Wait," he pleaded.

"I have waited. Months, Ryan. I don't think I can wait any longer!" she cried. "I want you inside me."

Ryan let out a shuddering breath. It fanned over her skin and increased her need.

Her fingers slid through his hair, marvelling at the way the soft strands slipped off her fingertips like silk. "Please, Ryan."

"Just let me..." he said and Summer didn't know what he wanted, but knew she would grant him permission to do anything.

Unwrapping their bodies, Ryan stretched out beside her, helping to situated Summer back to the centre of the bed before moving lower. She whimpered at the loss of contact.

Ryan pressed his mouth against her stomach, playfully biting a tender spot near her hip and dipping his tongue into her belly button. It made her arch up, searching for more of his touch. She struggled to keep her eyes open. It was all so overwhelming.

The air was cooling the damp areas where his tongue had just been and it was a welcome relief. Because she was burning. Spontaneous combustion wasn't possible because Ryan was the match, the fuel she needed to set her ablaze. And he was. With his wicked tongue and cunning fingers he was stroking the embers, creating a fire that ripped through her, singeing her soul.

"Ryan."

"Trust me." They were magic words that filled her head and made her apprehension slip away.

She was becoming unhinged, unleashed. Letting go. He demanded it. Wouldn't stop until she was sated.

She wanted him, needed him in a way that would never make sense to anyone else.

Then her shaking fingers fumbled with the button on his jeans and again with the zipper, until Ryan's hands covered hers and they were both shaking together as he helped her pull off his pants and toss them aside.

They were finally going to come together. He was finally going to be inside, filling her. A wash of fear flickered in her stomach for a split-second.

They had lain together in this bed many times before. The beat of his heart had lulled her to sleep plenty of times. Now his heart was beating a raucous staccato. It was different. As he lowered himself and her hips cradled him, she felt a change, a shift that happened deep inside her. She was already trembling.

He looked in her eyes for confirmation and she nodded her consent.

Ryan was gentle with her. At first they worked at a counter rhythm, rather clumsily, grasping for synchroneity until they just were. Moving together like they always had. Summer felt surmounting tension coiling in her belly.

"Ryan..." Summer whimpered as she felt the tension build to an inexplicably high peak. All the times she'd touched herself, it had never, ever, been like this. And not even what Ryan had done to her moments before could compare. It was so deep inside her, so strong.

She realized, sex with Ryan was like consuming napalm. She was exploding inside. The tiny shards flowing through her and filling every space with this wonderful energy. The rapture filled her pores as sweat seeped from her body. She struggled to hold onto the feeling, to delay the inevitable, but with Ryan's tongue against her neck, his finger pressing against her clit, drawing out her pleasure, she was helpless. There was a buzzing in her ears as the world exploded in front of her eyes. Her climax seemed to go on forever, an endless flow that wound around her and pulsed with life.

Ryan began to thrust faster. Her inner muscles were squeezing him, driving him to madness and beyond. He was whispering something in her ear. Words that got caught in the synergy between them and drowned against their skin.

She was still pulsing around him and he was still throbbing inside her, and for a moment, it seemed like it really could go on forever. It was impossible not to get caught up in it, to forget that anything existed beyond this moment.

Moving her shaking hands down his back, she touched the planes of his skin, skirting his ass and thighs, and anything else she could reach. Raising his head from the crook of her neck, he captured her lips and thrust one final time, as he lost control and came inside her. They both shuddered uncontrollably. The world itself flipped on its axis and began to rotate to their beat alone, to this new consuming rhythm.

Ryan lowered himself, shifting. Still hard inside her, he managed a few more lazy thrusts letting his head drop to her breasts while he tried to catch a breath.

Summer let her fingers brush through his damp hair, kissing his shoulder that tasted of salt. She came back to herself slowly. Realizing, with shattering force, that she could never be without him. That now, they were a part of each other.

Ryan murmured something and lifted his head.

Her eyes could barely focus enough to see his face. "What?" She was surprised that her voice sounded hoarse and that her throat was so dry.

"Too heavy," he mumbled, his arms encapsulating her as he rolled them over.

Ryan made to separate them, but Summer gripped him. "Don't. Not yet."

"Condom," he explained. Grabbing her hips, he eased out of her and they both groaned at the loss of contact. Ryan turned away from her and Summer lay back on the mattress, her head dipping into the soft pillow while Ryan disposed of the condom. Even that unglamourous task couldn't take her out of the moment. She felt overwhelmed and a little lightheaded.

Having done whatever it was with the condom, Ryan stretched out beside her, once again pulling her against his chest.

Summer couldn't quite come up with words for what had just happened. "That was..."

Ryan's eyes were heavy as he looked at her, smirking. "Yeah."

She touched her skin, wondering if she looked different somehow. It had been months. Months of anticipation and wondering, waiting for this moment to actually happen. And now it had, and it was beautiful.