Summary: The only that's left for her is him. The only thing left for him is her voice.
Hiead/Ikhny (Zero/Kizna implied) - (songfic?) Read & Review
Rating: PG-13 (language & violence)
Disclaimer: I do not own Megami Kohousei, Candidate for Goddess, or Pilot Candidate.
(same thing lol) Or any of the little excerpts of Sarah McLachlan's songs below. (bottom)
'thinking''lyrics '
"singing"
" dialogue "
Lullaby" In this same old sickly skin…"
The small girl wiped her dirty glasses once more. In her anger, at her newly forming tears, she threw them aside. With a soft 'clank', she heard them hit the end of the ladder. It wasn't like she needed them anyways; she always knew deep in her heart that she, Ikhny Allecto, was considered mousy and unpleasant to the eye. Well all male eyes, so she figured that wearing oversized glasses and keeping her hair just a little bit askew then she would have a reason for being considered…ugly.
"Push it back and get through each day…"
Almost instantly she began to hum, a song that her best friend sang to her whenever someone commented on her looks, or rather…lack of.
"I never thought I could feel so lonely…"
It felt awkward to be calling Kizna Towryk her best friend. She was the one who Ikhny kept most of her secrets from. Suddenly remembering that she wasn't the only repairer planning on coming in the maintenance room, she dashed down the ladder and located her glasses. Then proceeded to put them on, it'd be just her luck if Kizna or any of her other "friends" decided to walk in right now. Bad enough they had a crack…
"Strip away the evanesce that surrounds me…"
She snatched them off her face and wiped them again. No progress, she only managed to make them even dirtier than they already were. Ikhny hesitated before placing them back onto her face, dirt and all. That would at least give Hiead something to comment on…
"Love for you is black and white…"
Hiead Gner was Ikhny's partner, her pilot, and currently everything in her life. After being together, in a strictly business partnership on his part, for more than six months he seemed to dislike her more now than he did when they first met. For a moment all her thoughts seemed to focus on him, or rather reflect around him…
Forget thoughts, her whole life at Goa revolved around him. Here she was fixing HIS Pro-Ing, Helping HIM get better, and struggling to at least be accepted in HIS eyes. She sat on the end of the ladder and a sole tear ran down her already stained cheeks. She now had a reason to take her filthy glasses off…
"In all the darkness
I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage,
Come and lift me from this place…"
Sometimes she really wondered why she was here and why she did stay. But the answer led back to one result the result and answer to all her questions, and problems. But it was also her solution to many…it was simple she felt she had to stay there…for him.
With her blurred vision and lack of concentration, she didn't notice the figure that decided to make an appearance. The visitor stepped closer to the sobbing heap. They didn't say a thing, but did step a tad bit heavier than they normally would…
"…Who are you?
Are you an angel?"
Ikhny had just realized what she had said and immediately regretted it as she looked up in fear, unprepared for company, all filthy and bawling like she was now. She looked straight into the visitor's crimson eyes after wiping her own. (A.N: GUESS WHO???)
The intent look she was receiving, in her first week, would have been taken as hate, or even anger, but she now took it as concern. She knew Hiead was afraid of nothing…except maybe revealing his past and feelings to other. However, that was more of a trust and anti-sociable thing.
'It doesn't mean much
It doesn't mean anything…'
Smiling slightly to herself, she wiped her eyes once more and looked up at Hiead. Putting on the weakest smile at the moment that she could register, she said.
"Hiead, sir-"
His eyes shot daggers at her as he snapped back.
"That's the third time this week that I caught you crying."
"Huh?" she almost whispered.
"Stop being a big baby and deal with it Allecto, I can't have a partner whose emotional problems are hurting me too!"
Neither of them heard the door ease open slowly. A smiling pink haired girl and a spiky haired boy peeked in. The boy almost immediately lit up when he saw the scene.
"I told you I saw, Hiead, go in here." He cried.
"Fine, when?" the girl muttered.
"A good while ago…" he replied.
The both of them slipped in and crept off to a corner, but made sure to stay within hearing range…
'You're so beautiful…'The tawny haired (mouse) girl whispered, "H-Hiead, sir?"
"What?" He snapped slightly turning around.
"Are you saying that you care about me?" she whispered, hoping and praying, but knowing the answer. She still waited anxiously.
He whipped around.
'…A beautiful fucked up man"
"Who's been putting this ideas in your head, I've never said anything like that. So you better tell you little friends to shut up and mind their own business!"
"No!" she cried, "They didn't say anything…I just thought…"
He glared at her, "Well you thought wrong. I was talking about your performance. Are you trying to get me killed out there with your lack of focus?! What could possibly be that important, more important than my safety?"
"No, Hi-"
"No you shut up and listen to me!" he snapped.
'Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give…'
She didn't speak, but flinched a little at his words. Kizna didn't like his attitude and was ready to go kick some ass. A hand covered her mouth; she glared over at Zero, OVER!!!??? He was standing there watching her. His hands were there too, she pulled away from the stranger and turned around. It was her read-headed friend Wrecka who instantly, to justify herself, muttered.
"Don't we want to hear the whole conversation?"
"Fine!" Kizna muttered.
'Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?'
"Listen!" Hiead growled, "I don't care about you or your little tears, I just want it to end and I want it to end now, so not one more sniffle!"
Ikhny said nothing, just looked deep into his blood red eyes. His expression was different now. It wasn't as intense as it was before, it was more crazed, and somewhat insane…was this his panic or frustration state?
'You feed off of fearsAnd hold back your tears…'
The glare he sent Ikhny as he noticed her staring sent a shiver down her spine. She looked down and started to back away.
"I'm sorry, sir…"she muttered
Something in Hiead changed at her reaction. He stepped forward and touched her cheek. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Kizna and the others chose to intervene.
'I know I can love you much better than this…'"You fucking monster!" Kizna screamed.
The pair looked up at the group that had arrived. It consisted of obviously, Kizna, Zero, and Wrecka.
"Don't touch her!"
'So careful when I'm in your arms…'Hiead didn't say anything, he actually stepped closer to Ikhny and pulled her into his arms.
"Go away, she's fine." He snapped
"No she's not!" Kizna yelled, "And it's your fault!"
The small tawny haired (mouse) girl couldn't take it anymore.
"No it's not, Kizna, and you know it!" she cried.
"Are you crazy? Of course it is, it's always his fault!"
'Don't know who I am…'"Maybe I am for saying this, but-" she started.
"Don't you dare say it!" Kizna snapped.
Hiead suddenly had a somewhat menacing smirk on his face as he practically cooed, "Say what?"
Zero jumped in on the argument too yelling at Hiead, "Shut up you bastard, leave her alone!"
"What did you do to her?" Kizna whispered, tears starting to form in her eyes.
'…Am I really that gone?
I only hope that I won't disappoint you
While I'm down here on my knees…'
Hiead looked at Ikhny with the same smirk still on his face. That smirk meant only one thing, he was gloating because he knew he was going to win that she would side with him like she always did…
"He didn't do anything, Kizna, now stop it!" she cried.
Everyone looked shocked as they stared at the small girl, well…everyone except Hiead who wrapped another arm around her waist, protectively, but also in a mocking sort of manner. She gasped silently and looked away from her friends who now looked at her with defeat, but they still didn't believe it at all.
"You heard her now go away!" Hiead snapped.
Kizna charged at him, obviously not believing the scene before her eyes and the one that had just happened. Hiead stepped away from Ikhny and up to Kizna, who slapped him once. Her hand balled into a fist; went to hit him again. Hiead was anticipating it this time and grabbed her arm and twisted it roughly until she let out a cry.
"Hiead, please!!" Ikhny cried.
"Please what?" he growled, "continue??"
"No!!" both she and Wrecka cried out at the same time.
'And when we're done soul searching
And we carrieth the weight
And die for a cause…'
Zero lunged for Hiead, and yanked him away from the injured Kizna. The look on Zero's face was full of hate and pure loathing…in his anger he didn't even notice his E.X. Looking deeper, Ikhny could see some of the insanity that she saw in Hiead when he was lusting for a battle.
Before Hiead could even react, Zero was on him. His hits were so fast and powerful, something wasn't right it seemed as if he had lost control of his E.X. Ikhny looked over at the other girls to see Kizna cradling her arm and Wrecka was next to her. Their expressions showed that they noticed it too.
''I would be the one to fall…'
Ikhny felt a pang in her heart with each hit Zero landed upon the (A.N: poor guy, helpless victim) once cocky enemy. She couldn't take it anymore and screamed out.
"STOP IT!!!!!!!!!"
Zero didn't stop, her friends didn't like her partner, but knew it was enough and soon joined in.
"Zero," Kizna called, "I'm fine really."
He paused for a second and staggered as if he were either extremely exhausted or weak. Hiead spat some blood at him.
"You heard your little Kitten, or do you need ears like her, she's fragile just like one-"
He was cut off by another round of blows by Zero, but dodged them all. He slammed his fist into Zero's jaw and as he cried out in agony punched him in the stomach causing him to double over.
"-too" he finished.
The girls could take it no longer and Wrecka ran to get Instructor Azuma and Dr. Rill.
'His misery,
Made beautiful,
Right before our eyes…'
"Zero stop it!" Kizna yells, " He's not going to shut up!"
"Well then I'll make him!"
"Please stop Hiead…" Ikhny cries
He looked over at her as determined as ever with the blood seeming to be his motivation.
"…never..." was his only reply.
The boys started at it again just as the door was opened and in entered, Azuma, Dr. Rill, Wrecka, and the other candidates.
"YOU TWO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!" Azuma growled
Dr. Rill raised an eyebrow at the scene. The two had obviously just been in this same situation earlier, but in different roles.
"What is this?" she asked.
Wrecka was the one to answer, " They started fighting again."
"Again?!" Dr. Rill retorted, " You say it like it's nothing but you're probably used to it by now."
"Stop this now!" Azuma yelled, " Or do you need new partners?"
Both boys turned to look at him in anger and confusion.
"I know what this fight is about…" he said.
Everyone gasped as Hiead suddenly staggered and collapsed onto the floor. He didn't move and Ikhny immediately rushed over to him to see if he was all right or even still living.
'…Mercy be revealed,
Or blind us with a cause…'
Something about the way he was looking made Zero feel slightly guilty. His E.X. slipped away, leaving him only to blame. What defined that emotion was the pained look on Ikhny's face as she stroked his cheek and tried to wipe some of the blood off. She laid his head in her lap and began to stroke his cheek gently, as tears began to well up in her eyes. Hiead began to cough so she tried to sit him, up his eyes were now open. She heard him mutter something and she leaned in to hear him.
"What did you say?" she whispered.
"What did I say earlier about crying?"
Ikhny smiled happily, but the tears began to fall. He reached up and wiped one away before pulling away in pain.
"It's alright." She whispers
'You feed off of fears
And hold back your tears…'
He didn't respond, just stared at her with those crimson eyes glinting. She looked deep into them and this time he didn't look away. Allowing her to feel some of his emotions and to stop…fearing someone actually being…close.
The group just stood there and watched the two.
"Guess he wasn't hurting her." Zero said sheepishly.
"Guess not!" Dr. Rill snapped, " And the next time you interfere when not asked too it'll be you I'm taking in there and I don't mean from him!"
'You're so beautiful…'
A few minutes later, Hiead was lying in the hospital ward. These moments passed in a blur for Ikhny, not because she was panicking, but because of the tears. It actually went by a little too slow for her anticipation.
When they finally let her go see him, he was laying in the bed, lounging back on the pillows. This time she made sure to stay there until he woke, it wouldn't be like that other time when as soon as she left he woke up (A.N: on the show so sad!!!).
"Hiead-" she began.
"No." he didn't intend for it to be rude and she didn't take it that way, either.
"No what?" she questioned.
"Every time you talk you start crying, just enjoy the peace while it's here!"
"Umm..ok.."
"Know what you can do instead of crying?"
"What?" she whispered, fearing his unnaturally soothing tone.
"Sing me a song…"'You're so beautiful… …Isn't it charming…'
Ikhny smiled at the thought of Hiead wanting to be sung to sleep. That's why he usually snuck in when she was working on the Pro-Ing. If he had walked in they both knew she wouldn't have continued her song.
"Ok." She smiled.
'You're so beautiful…
…A beautiful fucked up man'
"And take off your glasses, if you don't need them don't wear them…"
End
NOTE: All of the lyrics in this fic are from Sarah McLachlan's songs:
CD: Surfacing 1997 Arista Records
I don't want to get the names wrong so I'll just say the track number and the name…
Track 1 – Building a Mystery
Track 3 – Sweet Surrender
Track 6 – Witness
Track 8 – Black & White
Track 9 – Full of Grace
And Track 10 Last Dance (no words) inspired me because it sounds like a lullaby
Thank you for reading this I hope you enjoyed it and if so review and tell me what you liked or review and tell me what you didn't like.