Disclaimer: Own nothing but my own original ideas.
Notes: From a challenge my friend issued me. "Put Robin in a position where he's not in control, and have it a) not be a Slade/Robin and b) not be bondage or sexual in any way." And here it is! Also, I wanted to try my hand at Cyborg/BB, so this is more of an experiment considering that couple. Theme song to this fic? "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne.
Dedication: Flick-chan, for inspiring me, even if she still owes me 2342389462384623894623 emails.

Stupid Cupid
Prologue

When Beast Boy woke up to the fresh smell of bacon, eggs, and tofu, he immediately thought that something was wrong. When he ambled tiredly into the kitchen only to find a smorgasbord of enough food to feed three full teams of Titans, and Robin standing overtly cheery in a pink frilly apron by the stove, he knew something was wrong. Especially when, as he sat down, one of his favorite meals was shoved in front of him.

"Uh, Robin?" he asked warily, poking at the tofu omelet as if to make sure it wasn't some sort of explosive. He cocked an eyebrow and turned into a small beagle, sniffing the food to be sure of its edibility.

"Yeah?" the Boy Wonder replied, sounding strange as he placed a bowl of green goop at Starfire's seat and a steaming plate of steak and eggs at Cyborg's. For Raven he left fruit, pancakes and sausage.

"The hell?" Beast Boy said in response, hoping that was an adequate enough question to convey his feeling of puzzlement. It had better have been, because that was the only thing that seemed to come out of his mouth.

"I was feeling helpful," Robin answered, before he willingly began to wash the dishes. Beast Boy cocked his head to the side in confusion, feeling a sense of relief wash over him when Cyborg and Raven joined him at the table, looking equally bemused. At least he wasn't the only one who thought this was weird.

"Err, Robin, man? You feeling okay?" Cyborg questioned, treating his breakfast in much the same way that Beast Boy had his own. When the food was decided to be safe, Cyborg dug in, instantly forgetting any and all hesitation. Raven looked slightly disgusted as a chunk of eggs flew past her.

"He's nervous," she said bluntly, sitting down at the table and being the first of the morning to take a bite of her breakfast without checking for poison. Beast Boy looked at her questioningly, then glanced at the Boy Wonder, who was currently whistling (well, squeaking horribly off pitch is what Beast Boy would have called it) as he scrubbed a spot on the counter with a wet rag.

"He doesn't look nervous," he countered, noticing the way Robin started to slide from one end of the kitchen to the other. The black-haired teen appeared the same as always, give or take a few odd fidgets. Raven cocked a knowing eyebrow at Beast Boy and silently nibbled on a slice of toast.

"Hooray!" Starfire's voice called out abruptly, announcing her entrance to the room. "Today marks the arrival of our dear friend Speedy!"

Whether it was from the unexpected noise or the context within Starfire's sentence, Beast Boy wasn't sure, but Robin was very suddenly on the floor, having tripped over himself mid-slide, and crashing into the kitchen cabinets.

"See?" Raven said as if everything had magically been explained. Beast Boy exchanged a clueless look with Cyborg.

"Robin!" Starfire gasped, flying over to the fallen hero. Lifting the boy up, she fretted over him in a way that reminded Beast Boy of a mother hen.

"I-I'm fine!" Robin stammered, fighting his way out of Starfire's arms. The Tamaranian looked at him doubtfully, but stood back.

"You are masking your anxieties by putting on a façade of happiness, yes?"

"No!" Robin shot back, a little too quickly. Beast Boy had to take a moment to put two and two together.

"OH!" He burst out loudly, immediately covering his mouth with a hand.

Momentarily forgetting his ailment, Robin stopped and stared at Beast Boy oddly, Starfire and Raven joining him. Cyborg had already gone back to eating.

"…Sorry," the changeling muttered, morphing into a snake and slithering down into a coil. He listened to the continuing conversation.

"Robin. As much as I appreciate the food and," Raven paused for a moment as she looked around, before resuming, "cleaning of the Tower... (Beast Boy finally noticed the blinding sparkle of the floor) Your inane disposition to this situation and freakish paranoia are probably unhealthy in at least one psychology book."

"What she said, man," Cyborg added through a mouth full of food. Beast Boy slipped down to the floor and made his way to Robin's feet, crawling up the Boy Wonder's body to his shoulders. When he reached his destination, he changed into an owl, looking up at Robin with huge round eyes as he let out a comforting coo.

"Stop!" Robin snapped defensively, batting the bird away in irritation. Beast Boy morphed into a crow and squawked a curse at Robin, flying over to Starfire's shoulder and turning so that his backside stuck up at the offending teen.

"Uh oh. Are the birds fighting?" A new voice said with a laugh. Robin's face immediately lost all anger and was replaced with an odd expression that Beast Boy was sure he had never seen before.

"I….uhm…"

"Is that all you have to say?" Speedy asked as he strode into the room, duffle bag thrown over his shoulder, "The last few times we met, you didn't shut up."

Robin let out a laugh that sounded more like a seal than anything else. And then he wanted to die.

Beast Boy, sensing his cue, stealthily leapt from Starfire's shoulder and changed into a baby seal behind her. Barking loudly, the changeling slid out to the center of the room and balanced the nearest chair on his nose, clapping happily.

"Look! …How happy he is to see you!" Starfire managed, clasping her hands together in mock adoration.

"Anything for attention," Raven chimed in, helping the flow get back to normal. Speedy merely chuckled and held his duffle bag out in front of him.

"So who wants to show me to my room?" he wondered, waving the luggage around. Starfire smiled all too largely and grabbed the bag all too quickly, motioning her hand for Speedy to follow. Raven came up close behind and nearly pushed Speedy through the door.

When the three were out of earshot, Beast Boy slid back into his human form, giving Robin a nasty look.

"Dude, believe it or not, I have some dignity. You owe me big."

"I know, I know! I'm sorry…" Robin replied, nibbling slightly on his bottom lip. He wrung his glove-covered hands together and shifted on his feet. Beast Boy didn't know whether to laugh or be worried.

"Dude, what is with you?" the green-skinned boy nearly shouted. "You've faced psychotic serial killers, insanely evil scientists, monstrous mutants, and a creepy old British guy without batting an eye! And now you're falling apart because Speedy, a really good friend, walks through the door?"

The name seemed to be the magic word, because at that instant Speedy appeared at the top of the stairs, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Forgot my bow," he said with a grin, before grabbing the weapon and rushing off. Robin was left with that weird look on his face again. It was a shy, yet goofy, kind of smile thrown into a blender with trepidation and fear and put on full speed. Beast Boy nodded to himself. Yes, that was a good way to describe it.

There was a resounding "Ohh!" from beside him, and Beast Boy had to fight hard not to roll his eyes and mutter "And people say I'm the slow one?" Glancing at Cyborg, Beast Boy gave him the signal to continue with his revelation.

"You…No!…You and Speedy? You… Speedy? Nah, man!" Rather than set Cyborg straight or help Robin out with the situation, Beast Boy got comfortable on the floor and sat Indian style, quite content with seeing the scene play out. It probably had something to do with the fact that, for once in his life, he felt like the most intelligent person in the room. Unfortunately for Beast Boy's ego, both Cyborg and Robin quickly regained their composure.

"Aww, man! This is priceless!" Cyborg snickered, much to Robin's dismay. "Our little Robbie-poo has a crush!"

"Shut up," Robin hissed dangerously. The words lost their menacing effect in part to the blush that was creeping up the teen's cheeks.

"Hey, man, don't worry about it…I'm sure his quick drawing is the only reason they call him Speedy." And with that, Cyborg erupted into a fit of immature giggles and snickers, leaving Robin to turn a frightening shade of red.

Beast Boy once again basked in the joy of intelligence. Speedy needed to come around more often.

Speaking of which….

Beast Boy paused. Why was Speedy there anyway? He was sure someone had told him at one point, but was equally sure that he was probably too distracted by one of his favorite video games, or food, or a fly on the wall, or something of actual interest to him, to have been paying attention. Beast Boy cursed his short attention span. Because now, suddenly, it was very interesting.

TBC