"Another One Bites the Dust"

Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters, though it would rock to do so.

After an extended leave, due to Daniel having issues with lubricant and a tree, Col. Samantha Carter found Brig. Gen. Jack O'Neill poised over his computer.

Sam poked her had into Jack's office after an unsuccessful experiment with knocking.

"General?" she questioned to her superior. Whose eyes never left the computer screen even upon her entrance. "Sir?" she said again walking farther into his office. "Sir?" she said raising her voice and walking over to his desk. Silence followed. Finally, she decided she would tap him on the shoulder. But upon walking closer she could hear shouts, screams, and a loud screeching noise coming from the general's computer. Turning to leave she bumped the desk as Jack shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Sir?" she exclaimed, turning to face the general. And as she did so, Jack slammed shut his laptop with what sounded like and exasperated sigh.

Noticing Carter and her confused face for the first time he wondered aloud, "How long have you been standing there Carter?"

"Just a few minutes, sir… uh what are you doing sir? You have been staring at that computer for 8 hours straight. And well speaking freely sir you can hardly stand a computer for more than 8 minutes with out getting a nervous twitch."

"Oh…" he trailed off. "I was just… um… testing Daniels gift… to see if it was too intense for him… in his delicate condition…" He said looking sheepish. "After all he can hardly move without moaning like a wildebeest in heat."

"What did you get him that needed 'testing'? " she asked.

"Well… Cassie and I went to the mall the other day and well…" he hesitated. "Shemade mebuythesims." He blurted out.

"Excuse me, Sir?" she questioned.

Avoiding the topic he said "Wait Carter, what are you doing her any way? Shouldn't you be shellacking the hallways in order to send innocent airmen flying into trees 30 feet away?"

"That was an accident Sir!" she said indignantly. "We were in a meadow the size of a parking garage! How was I supposed to know that Daniel would step on that particular patch of grass! The one I just happened to have fixed the MALP on!"

"That was pretty cool… the way he slid 30 feet into that tree… with his arms flailing, screaming like a frightened 13 year old girl" Jack chuckled as he remembered the incident. "Hey… Carter… do you think we can recreate that for the Christmas party?" He added conspiratorially.

Sam looked at him not the leas bit amused, steering the conversation back to something not so embarrassing to herself. "Sir, what were all those screams though? Doesn't that only happen when a Sim starts a fire or dies?"

"Well…" He began. "We were having a little SG-1 gathering with some other neighbors and a BBQ… I was minding my own business, making drinks. Teal'c was stuffing his face in the fridge. You were in the corner macking on some guy named Ricardo Anderson…"

Cutting him off. "Excuse me Sir?!"

Tossing the question aside. "Never mind Carter… it's not important."

"Anyway, who of all people but DANIEL just had to go out back and play with the fireworks." He sighed. "It started off beautiful, arched nicely… but then it landed right on the occupied bubble pad."

"Bubble pad sir?

"Yeah, you sit on it and blow bubbles… kind of like a hookah… but with bubbles…"

Carter stared blankly at him. "Never mind… Anyway… the bubble pad burst into flames and Betty Newbie bit the dust!" he said with finality.

"Ok, sir." They stared at each other for a second. Then O'Neill said, "Why did you come here in the first place Carter?"

"Daniel is being released from the infirmary and wanted me to invite you to his BBQ… to commemorate his renewed health and well being."

"A BBQ huh Carter?"

"Yes, Sir." She sighs.

After a second of introspection, "Alright, just don't let him handle the fire and leave the lubricant at home."

"Yes, Sir!"