An Anonymous Letter
Summary: Back to 4th year (before Triwizard). Someone sends Snape an anonymous love letter. Just my attempt at humour. Please R&R.
Disclaimer: I am J.K. Rowling! And I own Harry Potter! Not to mention Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and everybody else in the book I created!
PS. If anybody believed that… then… wow.
An Anonymous Letter
About noon, in the Great Hall.
Severus Snape calmly ate his lunch as he listened to the conversation around him. Professor Sprout was muttering good-naturedly about how Neville had managed to knock half of her Growth Potions onto the floor, causing two rather large slugs and one super-sized ant.
Headmaster Dumbledore and tiny Professor Flitwick were deep in conversation about which Bertie Botts Bean was the nastiest.
Professor Binns was considering the pros and cons of being a ghost with Nearly Headless Nick, Con #1 being no more Quarter Pounders with cheese, while –
Snape was interrupted from his observations as a letter plopped into his tomato soup, carelessly dropped by a school owl.
This was strange. Snape hardly ever received mail, other then the occasional "Tired of Being Bald? Try Marvin's Magic Powder and feel AND look young again!" or "Sick of being lonely? At Wardley's Witches and Wizards location, find your true love!"
Wiping soup off of the envelope, Snape broke the seal and pulled out a hot pink piece of stationary. It read:
"Dearest Severus,
It is my deepest hope that you will receive this, my vow of true love to you, and return my vow. You will simply KNOW who I am, because my love for you makes me stand out in a crowd of hundreds.
Oh! How I adore your overly large nostrils, your beaked nose, your pasty skin, your greasy hair.
It is my earnest wish that my love for you is not in vain. But I know in the deepest recesses of my heart, that this could not be so. You and I will soon be together as one, as soon as you declare your undying love for me, of course.
Your true love,
Need I say my name? My love shines brighter then the sun, making me visible only to you."
Across the Great Hall, seated under scarlet banners, two red-headed twins shook with controllable laughter.