A/N: Hi there, and I'm back. No, they still haven't got to the duel in this chapter, yet, but definately next chapter. That may be a little while. I have to plan this out.
Anyway, my thanks to you, Yami Silverdamon for sticking with me, and yes, Kel is a guy.
And the chapter title is still from my lovely collection of Helloween music. If nothing else, this title ought to intrigue some of you to give them a listen!! :-D
Chapter 4: Mr. Torture
Given the destructive nature of Duel monsters, the Burger World manager, like most store managers or owners, absolutely completely utterly forbade such activities in his fine establishment, and he was a tad bit insistent upon keeping to this rule. So, the party of humans, semi-human (and some may well call Kel subhuman), and the irate foul-mouthed Pokemon were escorted out to the street by the booted foot. Oh well, most of them were used to it anyway, and they had been kicked out of better places than Burger World. The self-same manager had actually told off Tea in a not so nice way before this incident.
Galen, having spent a good portion of fourteen years as an outcast, thought nothing of this, and he'd been hit by harder and sharper boots. Pikachu spewed some more interesting Pokemon language, that there was no way that he could have learned such things from his 12 year old trainer, and he left some scattered rodent pellet presents in strategic places about the fast food restaurant. Just suffice it to say, beware of that black grizzle on the burgers.
Kel had the tendency of playing his unique brand of music wherever he landed himself, and most fine dining establishments liked to keep their clientele, their lunches, their sanity, and their lives. Corpses did not look good on the establishment's record, and they certainly didn't pay the bill. Most proprietors found it uncouth to take the pay for the meal forcefully from someone who had lost their lunch . . . or sanity . . . or life . . . or all the above. Fortunately for Kel, not only did he not take offence to their lack of appreciation for his truly special talent (and being forcefully kicked out of such places), but Jeriah, his employer and jovial proprietor of the Purple Unicorn (with the man-eating tiger in the cellar) was not worried about the uncouthness of taking out his fair share (plus a good healthy tip) from a corpse's purse, and a dead man usually paid more and more willingly than one alive and kicking. Besides, if Kel's music didn't kill the clientele, Max's (the head chef at the Purple Unicorn) cooking would.
As far as the rest of the gang, Yugi and friend had dueled or were associated with duelists, who dueled one too many times in places that once had a roof over top. The damage and vast utter destruction were incredible. Oh well, the repairs were conveniently placed on Kaiba's bill. News traveled faster than the dead in the Carpathians, and the duelists were marked out for their hazardous nature. Any flipping out of duel discs, cards, or any thing else related to Duel Monsters was an instant ticket to a trip to the streets on one's ear.
Although not having the notoriety of a prime duelist and not having been tossed on his rear in his normal shy teen Ryo Bakura self, Bakura found this an unique exciting experience. The boy didn't get out enough, and he had definitely fallen into the wrong kind of crowd. He would have been happy to continue with this group in further delinquency, but he had other problems to attend to, and that meeting with the spirit of the ring would wait no longer. Not to mention, he really should not have gotten that fee refill on the cola. So, he had to bid the group a hasty farewell and good luck. Kel gave him a card with the name of a good therapist on it (He never helped the bard, but there was only so much one could do with the hopelessly lost and brain dead.) and a bag of magic mushrooms. The white haired boy's brow furrowed at the gifts, but he couldn't spend much time on it, as he was forced to hurry away. Kel studied his dance and took notes of these new moves for his next act.
Kel was ready to duel. The blue haired wild bard did theatrics, that made Joey's performance with Mako's duel seem quite plain and drab. If Kel had been in the proper universe, Captain Ginyu would have enlisted him in his force.
"Who will be my swinging opponent to challenge my groovy deck? Who will risk being smashed into 'shroom powder for me to smoke on those special summer nights? Who is brave enough to be blinded by herbal wisdom and fungi enlightenment?
Galen blinked in confusion, and his mouth gapped opened at the uncharacteristic aggressive words of his friend. Pikachu just yawned big and let go of his perch. He waddled his over full self down into Galen's hood and soon was on his back sound asleep. The young apprentice lightly tapped his friend on the shoulder.
"Kel, sir. It is not very nice to threaten our new friends," he complained.
"Oh, little apprentice dude, don't you worry none. That's how the game is played. You've got to have a big bloated head and spew all kinds of nasty things at your opponent." He gave a big grin to Mai, who just stood back with her arms crossed and a big frown upon her face. "What says you, babe? You wanna to do the best of the best?"
"No," she answered flatly, as she forcefully pushed his probing nose and wide eyes from her curves.
"Just chicken that I'd beat you, babe. I am quite a specimen. Woof!" Kel grinned.
"Hah!" she retorted, "Not at all. I could beat you blindfolded and drunk, but I won't duel you for three reasons: Number one, you aren't worth my effort; Number two, I don't do amateurs, and Number three, the author doesn't know squat about my deck."
Yugi stepped forward. "I will accept your challenge," he announced in that overly happy voice.
"Yugi, you should let me take care of the small fry," Joey complained.
"No," came a deep voice not belonging to the wide eyed tri-color haired cheerful boy. Yugi held his hand out at his sides as if in surrender. A flash of light, which originated from the pyramid puzzle at the teen's neck, enveloped him. The youth that stood before the group was now taller with angular sharp eyes, and he stood up with maturity and a confidence that the petite boy did not exude. "I will take on this challenge. There is something that just doesn't smell right about this new friend of ours."
"Ah, that's just that dandelion weed I smoked earlier," the bard happily pointed out. No one was present to be rude enough to mention the fact that smell could have been due to a lack of a good bath in the last month.
"That's not what I mean," the new Yugi corrected, "I feel there is something more to you than meets the eye."
"Sure is, groovy man!" The half elf replied as he danced around in pride like a peacock showing off for a mate. Mai was not impressed.
"And Yugi cheated me out of that duel with you, Joey. So, it's my turn!" he added ignoring the obnoxious musician.
"Wow!" exclaimed Galen, "How did you do that?"
"I am Yami Yugi, the spirit of the puzzle," he replied.
Kel elbowed his companion. "Don't worry about it, bud. This is another anime universe thing. Many teens have a super hero alter ego."
"Wow! This really spectacular! Master would like to meet you and learn about this spiritual possession!"
"Nah," Kel replied, "He'd just want to dissect him, then re-animate him as an undead slave. Teens have real problems being a transformed super-duper hero when they are a mindless zombie."
"Oh yeah. I guess you're right about that, Kel, sir. Master wouldn't really need him. He does kind of have the possession thing down already."
Yami Yugi crossed his arms and glared at the blue haired duelist with impatience. He was still a bit peeved that he didn't get to participate in the burger fest, and this interloper made far too many passes on Mai for his liking. "Let's get on with this duel."
"Hell yeah!" Kel exclaimed, "I am going to pound and stomp you and make my wild guitar riffs rifle your spine, then I'll take your Dark Magician on that slow mystical magic carpet ride. We'll send you pictures from the beach afterwards."
"Put your cards where your mouth is," Yami Yugi remarked.
Galen and Kel looked confused. Scratching his head, the half elf bard took his cards and stuffed them in his mouth. He mumbled something completely incoherent and the ancient King of Games shook his head. He yanked the cards out of his opponent's mouth and placed them back in his duel disc.
"I am the World Champion of Duel Monsters, and I am Yu-Gi-Oh, the King of Games. I can't lose, because I believe in the heart of the cards, and each game I play, I play for my friends and family."
"Whoa! Way out groovy, man. I believe in the peace, love and mushroom magic, dude. I play this duel for weed, my friend here, and my special groupies and back up singers."
The spaced out anti-bard bent over and unzipped that amazing duffle bag of his, and a nine foot green man with strategic leaves covering his torso and essentials rose up from out of the sack. He exclaimed a hearty, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
"Nah, not you, my jolly green swinger," he remarked, "Later, we'll share your fine harvest. I'm looking for the girls."
The jolly green giant handed the blue haired guitarist a package of greens, then with another heart felt "Ho! Ho! Ho!", he rotated around in circles as he descended back into the bag. Kel saluted the departed figure with his greenery package.
Suddenly, three wisps of smoke came up from the bag. Of course, given Kel's hobbies, this could mean any number of things, but these apparitions were his famous groupies. They took on the form of three ghostly elven women with fiery red eyes and yawning cavernous mouths. Their long spidery white hair flowed out around them like white shrouds. They would have been a most terrifying trio had they not each been dressed like cheerleaders (pom-poms included) with a different letter sewn of each sweater. One was a "K". Another was an "E". The third was an "L".
"Let me introduce Susie and her Banshees," Kel announced, "They are a trio of groovy wailers."
The banshees huddled together in conference, and then they did their dance/cheer:
"Kel, Kel, he's ours
And not yours!
If he can't do it,
Then you certainly can't!"
The three of them gave the opposing team a big raspberry, and then they turned around to moon them. Since this is a PG-13 story, there was a big black sensor bar covering the necessary parts.
Yami Yugi raised an eyebrow and twitched an eye, and the rest of the audience looked confused. Galen only smiled and shrugged. He had seen much weirder things coming just out of Kel's bag alone. Since they had all survived Kel's singing, the banshee's keening had no effect on them.
The preliminaries, now having been done, the duelists made ready their duel discs and drew their first cards. The duel was about to begin . . .