November had blown in with fury, downing three huge trees and blanketing
Britain with sheets of cold rain. It was obvious winter weather had
finally arrived, and Severus' spirits were rising. O'Flannery was gone,
and it looked like it was for good. It had been three weeks since she had
disappeared, and no word had come to his now coworker, Remus Lupin. The
werewolf had been watching him nonstop lately, as if trying to watch him
make one wrong step. Lupin had refrained from bringing up the
circumstances of Aislinn's departure, but Snape could see the question
tickling at his brain. In fact, the only thing the Defense teacher had
said to him at all was "That's a beautiful bruise, Severus," and smiled.
Snape inwardly seethed, but the shiner had almost disappeared, so now it
was a moot point.
At that moment Snape was prowling the hallways as part of his patrol for the month of November, a punishment laid out by Albus. Although O'Flannery had left, Dumbledore refused to relent on hallway patrols or refund the pay taken out of his salary. The apology was seemingly forgotten.
Snape grumbled to himself as he remembered the smack the woman had given him. For two weeks he had sported a big purple bruise on his jaw, painful and swollen. He had refused to go see Madame Pomfrey; instead he chose to suffer in silence. When someone asked, he simply pretended he didn't hear them. Better someone's enmity than a wounded pride.
Snape turned a corner and something flicked at the corner of his eye. He spun, looking into a corridor. "Lumos," he commanded, and his wandtip flared into light. He peered into the darkness, and two luminescent eyes stared back at him. "Oh, it's you," he said, addressing the creature. "Where's Filch?"
The cat meowed imploringly, and rubbed herself up against Severus' legs. He stepped back, trying to shoo her away. "Get gone, Mrs. Norris," he said, swooshing his hands at her. She ignored him and sat on her haunches as her caretaker, Argus Filch, rounded the corner. He tipped his head at Snape.
"Good evening," Snape replied a bit caustically. He had never really liked Filch, despite their equal dislike of children. The man was a Squib, and that indicated poor breeding.
"Good evenin,'" Filch replied glibly. "I don't see nothin' out of order in the hallways, sir. Seems all the kids is in bed on a night like this."
Snape nodded. "Thank you," he said, and then headed off down the hallway, leaving the Squib and his cat behind. Instead of billowing, he walked slowly, contemplating life in general and the homework to be given the following day. Somewhere he heard a clock chime eleven, and the Potions professor sighed. Another hour of this, and then he could retire to his bed, where he at least had something to keep him warm. He turned another corner, descended a flight of stairs, and decided to prowl about the kitchens, where perhaps he could get a hot cup of tea off of the house elves.
Footfalls sounded behind him. Snape froze and drew his wand, spinning around silently only to collide with Remus J. Lupin in a traveling cloak and boots. Snape picked himself up off the floor and dusted himself off while Lupin chuckled. "I don't see what's so funny about a late night collision, Remus," Snape hissed.
Lupin was still sitting on the floor, giggling. "It's funny because, dear Severus, you're the very person I was looking for."
Snape cocked an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
Lupin nodded. "Yes indeed. I was outside having a brief conversation with a friend of mine and thought of you. So I came to find you and ask you if you wanted to join me for a cup of tea in the kitchens." Lupin stood. "So?"
Snape's head reeled in confusion. A friend? Outside, in this weather? "I'm afraid I'll have to pass on the invitation Remus. I have other things to do rather than spend my time playing in the rain."
Lupin shrugged, despite the flicker of anger in his eyes. "Your loss." The werewolf trotted off to the kitchens, leaving a trail of muddy footprints behind him.
By now, Snape's curiosity was piqued. He began following Lupin's footprints, and found they leaded to a door exiting the castle. Snape paused, thought for a minute, and decided it couldn't hurt anything. He pushed the heavy oak door open quietly and stuck his head out into the drizzle. His eyes flicked left and right. There was nothing. "Lumos maxima," he whispered, and his wandtip lit up brilliantly. For the second time that night he was greeted with two luminescent pinpricks in the dark. Snape groaned. "Filch is going to be furious with you, cat. You'll be wet and muddy." However, his words froze in his throat as the creature moved forward into the light.
It was lynx, well muscled and tall. Snape had never seen one of them on the grounds of Hogwarts before, so he looked at it suspiciously before stepping out of the safety of the doorway and into the cold English rain. His polished shoes made sucking noises as they sank slightly into the mud, and Severus cursed it. The cat, however, didn't seem troubled by the dank conditions. As Snape watched, it twitched its tiny stump of a tail and flicked its ears, baring its teeth in a grin. Snape held his wand out in front of him, hoping to blind the animal. The cat merely lowered its head and started forward again. By this time it was three feet from the professor, and he was feeling a little cowed.
The lynx stopped, glared at Snape with huge green eyes, and began hacking. Snape made to retreat, but not before the cat had unloaded a wad of spit on the corner of his robe. It turned and promptly fled, leaving the professor alone in the rain.
Snape was seething and wet, but he walked with determination towards the library. Pictures shouted angrily at him to put the light out, but he waved them off with a rude gesture brought on by anger. The cogs in his head were turning rapidly. No regular wildcat would approach a human, and no regular wildcat would hock snot. If anything, that was a human habit. This had not been the first time an Animagus had prowled the grounds of the school, and now all that was needed was to identify who it was.
All the registered Animagus' were listed in a large book kept in the library. There was a possibility the animal could be unregistered, but that would carry a large fine and perhaps a prison term. Lupin's words tickled at his brain. "I was having a brief conversation with a friend outside..." He thought back on members of the Order, but nothing really stuck out in his mind.
The book was heavy in his hands, and but sometimes the cost of information was a little effort. He was reminded of his early morning foray into the library a month and a half earlier, where he had learned of O'Flannery's background and thus implicated himself in the plot that led him to his current situation. He shook his head longingly. The past could not be undone.
"I was having a brief conversation with a friend outside...you're the very person I was looking for..."
Something about Lupin's words unsettled him. Severus had an itching feeling that the lynx would turn out to be someone he didn't want to hear from, but he steeled himself and opened the book. The "chapters" where alphabetized by animal name, and Snape flipped to L's and ran his finger to the subheading "Lynx." About thirty names were listed, along with locations and descriptions of the animals. Snape's eyes scanned the pages, looking for a familiar name. Suddenly, it jumped out at him.
"O'Flannabhra, Aislinn Ríonach. Green-eyed lynx with winged spot design on back."
There was his answer. No wonder the cat had approached him. That was the second time she had spat on him, and he wasn't about to allow a third. In the morning he would go straight to Dumbledore's office to report an Animagus prowling the grounds. Hopefully something would be done, and the woman would be prosecuted for trespassing.
He wondered what she and Lupin were discussing. It was probably her current location and future prospects, but her sudden appearance disturbed him. He had almost forgotten about his precarious position, but the lynx's identity planted it in his mind once more. Snape sighed angrily. It was the things like this that disturbed his peace of mind, if he even had any of that left. Everything was tearing at his senses: O'Flannery, the unpredictable nature of Voldemort, teaching incapable students, everything. He cursed underneath his breath as he opened the door to his rooms. It was not yet midnight, but he had decided to retire early, hall patrols or not. Fifteen minutes would not alter the course of the world.
Snape slipped out of his teaching robes, hanging them neatly in a closet. He sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his temples. He needed a warm shower and perhaps a snifter or five of good brandy, something that would scald away the sick feeling at the back of his throat. He was turning into an alcoholic, but he didn't care. He was past the point of denial. He was fully aware of what he was doing. As long as it didn't interfere with his teaching duties, he was fine with his own private addiction.
Aislinn O'Flannery had apparated to the gates of Hogwarts before turning into her lynx form. Hopefully she would not be seen by anyone of consequence. She doubted Dumbledore would have a problem with it, but she was supposed to be collecting her thoughts, not running around the grounds without anyone's knowledge. There was only one person who knew of her coming tonight, and that was Remus Lupin. She had sent him a letter the other day via Yankee Doodle, telling him that she was coming to visit, and to look for a lynx outside the south exit by the kitchens.
She padded silently through the grass, stopping when she heard Fang's familiar bark. She highly doubted it would wake Hagrid, so she continued. The dew was damp on her paws, and she flexed her claws just to feel the musculature in her cat arms. She tried to grin, but only managed a grimace. Cat faces were just not made to show emotion.
She reached the south exit and sat down to wait, flicking the stump of her tail. It would probably be around ten forty-five; so all students should be in their dormitories and not prowling hallways. She felt safe for the first time in a long time. Her weeks spent at Fionnuala's had been incredibly calming. It felt different peeling potatoes over a trashcan after poring over lesson plans for two months, but it was a welcome change. The children were delightful, and Declan was happy for the help. Aislinn had mended fences, herded sheep, and ridden a cranky horse around in freezing Irish rain. It was like she was a child again with no responsibilities.
She lay down on the dew soaked grass, resting her head on her paws. She thought back to her childhood in Cork, and the laziness that came with being a child of privilege. Her early years had been placid and happy. Her mother had doted on her, buying her random gifts and dressing her up in expensive silk dresses. Then her younger sister was born and Bean Mhi had two girls to cherish. Aislinn's father Alastair was away from home frequently, but when he did return he always brought exotic presents for his three beloved children. Richard, her brother, had been a fine figure of a boy before he turned thirteen, and would often play with her in a fort down by the stream.
Aislinn would often look at him, tilt her chin upwards and imitate her mother, saying "Bí i do bhuachaill maith" with the same authority Bean Mhi possessed. Her brother had merely laughed and ignored her, dunking her in the cold water all the same. They had two ponies, a cat, and two Irish wolfhounds, and Aislinn was always finding small animals to bring home and "nurse back to health." When the Revels took place, Aislinn would parade in front of the assembled Death Eaters like a queen, earning many approving looks and wistful sighs. Voldemort himself had chucked her under the chin, calling her a perfect angel.
It had all started to change when her brother took the Dark Mark. He became reclusive, and when Aislinn began to menstruate her father had come to her, demanding she become a Death Eater. Aislinn had refused, not really understanding the magnitude of her decision, and then the abuse had begun. It didn't stop until she fled home at eighteen. Then her real life had begun, and it had led her here, sneaking around the grounds of her former school to meet an old friend in secrecy. If only things had gone better. She loved teaching, but the taint on the school couldn't be lifted. Severus Snape had ruined it for her.
A rustle in the grass behind caused her to spin around, and she sat back on her haunches as Lupin's face smiled down at her. "I should have known you'd come like this," he said, carrying a blanket under his arm.
Aislinn resumed her human form, wrapping the blanket around her naked body. Her clothes had been shed at the gates as she changed into the lynx. An animal just couldn't wear clothes made for humans. "Thank ye, Remus, my dear. It's dreadful cold t' be out here wi'out clothes." She chuckled.
"You really shouldn't be here at all, Aislinn. I'm afraid you'll get caught. It could be considered trespassing, or even a threat to students."
Aislinn rolled her eyes. "Stop the bullshite, Moony. I'm as much a threat as that blade o' grass there." She pointed. "How's the classes wi'out me there?" she asked, feeling the familiar twinge of pain in the back of her throat. How she hated being denied!
"Everyone misses you, Aislinn. Will you come back?"
Aislinn rubbed her chin. "I have yet t' decide. I want to, but Snape's still here, and I don't think I'd ever get along wi' him. Not after what 'e did t' me. Anyway, I sent ye th' letter to let ye know I'll be playin' a show with Rob and Geoff this comin' weekend in London. I'd like ye t' stop by. Take a day off. Have a good time wi' me." She smiled.
Lupin sighed. "I don't know, Aislinn. I'd need time to think about it."
Aislinn crossed her arms over her chest, looking exasperated. "What is there t' think about? You either come, or y' don't. Not too difficult is it?" There was a biting anger in her voice, and she tried to chase it down.
"Aislinn, there's no reason to get testy about it. I'd love to come, and I probably will. It's just a matter of finding time in a busy day. And, next Saturday is a full moon, in case you've forgotten." Lupin matched attitude with attitude, and hoped he would come out winning. Aislinn merely sneered.
"So take that potion Snape concocts for ye. Ye should be fine then, right?"
Lupin nodded.
"So, it's settled," said Aislinn triumphantly. "Ye'll take the potion, and then come to the show Saturday. We can stay in th' Leaky Cauldron till Sunday and apparate back. Ye won't be missed."
Lupin nodded again. "That should work. But now, tell me something. Where have you been staying, and what have you been up to?" the werewolf asked, his genuine curiosity showing in his voice.
"With Fionnuala," Aislinn answered. "I've been doin' a lot o' farm tasks and takin' care o' the children." A wistful look came into her eyes. "God, how I miss a normal life. Have ye ever wondered, Remus, what things would be like if ye had been born normal, or at least raised that way?"
Lupin thought for a moment. "Yes and no. I often wonder what it's like not to be a werewolf, but I think a normal, Muggle life would be incredibly boring. I can understand the desire in your case, though. Perhaps if you had been born normal you wouldn't have what you have."
Aislinn smiled at her friend lovingly. "But I have people like ye, Remus, that make life worth livin.' Without ye, I wouldn't be here." She embraced him suddenly and quickly, planting a swift kiss on his lips.
They stood, encircled in each other's arms, and gazed into each other's eyes. Aislinn saw fear and concern in her friend's, and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'll be fine, Remus. Don't ye worry about me own well being. I'll get things sorted out soon enough, and ye'll see, I'll be back."
Lupin held her close to him, rocking her gently. "I love you, Aislinn," he whispered before letting her go and retreating back inside the castle.
Aislinn was left alone, and quickly changed back into the wildcat form, the blanket wrapped around her body falling to the ground. She stretched, trying to chase away the tears that threatened to fall unbidden onto the cold grass. Lupin's admission struck her, and struck her deep. There had been genuine feeling and concern in his voice. She knew he cared about her, and that he wished he could love her, but he had never really admitted it.
She sat on her haunches, flicking her stump of a tail back and forth. She tensed her paws, pushing her claws out of their sheaths, and resisted the urge to slash something. Instead, she sat, gazing into the darkness that surrounded her. The air was cold, and a slight breeze ruffled her fur. Aislinn shivered against it, and was about to turn to go when she heard footfalls and saw a familiar shape in the darkness. Instead she once again sat down, glaring into the flaring light of a wand tip.
She heard a groan, and Snape's voice chide her. Aislinn stood, walking into the light and smiling as she heard her enemy's voice die in his throat. This had to be unexpected. She doubted he knew her identity, but seeing a random lynx so close would cow anyone. She bared her teeth, and suddenly got an idea. Coughing was difficult with the throat of a cat, but Aislinn did so, gathering as much spit in her mouth as she could manage.
She then released the spit in her throat with absolute vehemence on the corner of her enemy's robes and attempted to grin wickedly before running off into the drizzle. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. She resisted the temptation to turn back towards Hogwarts and kept on moving towards the gates, but she felt her heart grow heavier with every step she took.
Hogwarts had been her happy home for about two months before the experience was soured, but she kept thinking back on her students. Most of them had been a true joy, no matter what house they were allied to. In fact, Aislinn enjoyed watching the subtle discrepancies between the houses and their students. She didn't believe in playing favorites; a Slytherin was just as welcome in her classroom as a Hufflepuff.
The gates loomed up before her, and she noticed the wet pile that was her clothes and attempted a frown. She took her human form, feeling a bit exposed, and took a deep breath, clutching the soaked clothes to her chest. All other concentration went towards her Apparation, and the gates of Hogwarts disappeared behind her in a blur of color.
Lupin's lessons the past three weeks had been informative, but there was a feeling lacking in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Harry loved having an old friend around again, but he couldn't help feeling an intense loss in his chest. His Occlumency lessons had ceased, as had any hope of speaking to a former Auror he would have seen on a regular basis. However, the class had been adjusting to Lupin's presence rather well. Malfoy, of course, had been taking regular jibes at him, but Professor Lupin seemed to shrug them off with no problem. Harry only wondered what the Ministry of Magic was thinking.
Currently they were working on a Shielding Charm, although practical lessons were often difficult to coordinate. Harry had partnered up with Neville, and both of them shared a covert smile at their memories of the defense club they had formed last year under the nose of Delores Umbridge. Most of the Gryffindors in the class had got the charm down right the first time, much to Slytherin consternation. Professor Lupin merely flashed a covert smile at Harry and continued on his direction.
Neville waved his wand, disarming Harry easily. "Where d'you reckon Professor O'Flannery is?" he asked as Harry bent down to retrieve his fallen wand.
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I asked Lupin, and all he had to say was she's somewhere in Ireland. I don't see how it really matters; I doubt she'll be coming back." Harry paused a moment, biting his lip. He lowered his wand from blocking a spell and looked Neville right in the eye. "Look, Neville, I never really got a chance to say thanks for helping me out at the Department of Mysteries last year. It was, well, really brave of you to come with us. I just feel kind of guilty about luring you there."
"You didn't lure me there!" exclaimed Neville, looking shocked. "I chose to go on my own, right?"
Harry grudgingly nodded. There were still large amounts of guilt eating at his insides. He led his friends into certain danger, and the outcome was one of horrific consequence. He chanced a glance at Lupin, whose back was turned to the pair at the moment. He wondered how he was taking it. After all, Lupin had been the last of the Marauders to stay close to Sirius. Harry knew they had lived together at the end, although it seemed Lupin was always out doing things for the Order. It must have been ungodly hard for Sirius to remain locked up in that house.
Harry was jolted out of his reverie when he was hit by another disarming spell and Neville scoffed. "That one was easy!"
Harry smiled and picked up his wand again, and was just about to deflect a spell of Neville's when Professor Lupin raised his hands.
"All right, wonderful, wonderful! If you'll pack away your wands we can continue our practice our next class. Bell's about to ring, and I want to give you time to pack up and get organized. I'm too lazy to grade homework at the time being, so I'll give you a night off."
His announcement was met with happy cheers as everyone packed up their books and settled bags on their shoulders. Harry smiled and Ron and Hermione and then transferred his eyes to Professor Lupin. The man looked tired, as tired as any human could manage. He was pale and bruised bags were under his eyes. "He looks awful, doesn't he?" whispered Harry to his friends.
They nodded. "I've heard Malfoy complaining in the Great Hall that his father is really unhappy Lupin's back teaching. Something about half- breeds and danger to students." Ron had a look of utter disgust on his face. "The only danger here is what Malfoy's dad would do if he had his way with everything."
The bell sounded, and Harry entered the mass exodus into the halls. The mood seemed fairly light-hearted, although there was still a twinge of sadness at the thought that Professor O'Flannery might not be returning. However, even Lockhart would have been in an improvement over Delores Umbridge of last year. Harry chuckled silently at remembering her face after being carried off by centaurs, and how good it would feel to sneak up behind her clapping coconuts together.
Their next class was Potions, and when Harry realized it, his spirits seemed to dampen. He doubted anything he did would be enough to save him from the wrath of Snape. The man hated Harry; that's all there was to it.
"Are you still missing that Celtic traitor?" a cold voice drawled behind Harry.
He spun around to find Draco Malfoy leaning against a wall near the Potions classroom. Crabbe and Goyle flanked him, cracking their knuckles.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Ron's voice was equally as cold and hateful.
Malfoy started forward. "Didn't I tell you last year, Potter, that you were dead?"
"Well, I'm still here, obviously. I can see why you didn't pass your divination O.W.L.," Harry growled.
Draco merely grunted and whipped out his wand. "All funny jokes, Potter, but without your beloved Defense teacher here, what are you going to do? I have almost complete immunity here."
Harry considered for a moment. What the fool said was true. Malfoy was one of Snape's favorite students. Any fight that broke out would automatically be considered Harry's fault, witnesses or not. However, he might not have a choice if Malfoy fired a spell at him. He would have to retaliate, or suffer.
Ron was the first to answer. "No you don't, scum. You know damn well that Dumbledore won't take your lying side. If we go to him, and say, perhaps, you just threatened Harry's life, do you think he'd dismiss it as a lie? No way! So watch what you say, Malfoy."
Malfoy's eyes flicked right and then left. "Is that a knut on the floor, Weasely? I bet to your family that would be a week's worth of bread, right?"
Harry had to hold the back of Ron's robes to keep him from lunging straight at Malfoy's throat. "Ron, stop! Ron! You'll just get in trouble!"
And trouble was exactly what came around the corner. Snape stared down at Harry and Ron, the corner of his lip twitching. "Fighting, are we?" he asked in a cold tone. "Ten points from Gryffindor."
It didn't get any better from there. Harry knew he had to tread carefully around Snape or risk failing his class. He had been very careful to follow every direction perfectly, but many times the hated professor still found things to criticize. Today he was not stirring slow enough, and the potion was not the proper shade of green.
"Half credit I think," Snape drawled. "I expect two rolls of parchment on properties of betony and St. John's wart and the effects when combined. I expect it on Monday. Clean your cauldrons."
Harry glared at Snape's back with pure hatred. If only he hadn't looked into the penseive... His mind trailed off at the thought of what he would find in Aislinn O'Flannery's head. Probably lots of angry and painful memories, but then again, she seemed to have a deep love of music and good times with friends. There would be memories of raucous and drunken parties as well. He thought of her that last night out by the lake and the lazy way she drug on her cigarette, allowing the smoke to issue from between her lips as she spoke. In all, she had seemed relaxed; not at all upset she was leaving. And then she had just...disappeared.
"Harry!" Hermione's tense voice caught him unaware.
"What?"
"I was just telling Ron that after your Divination classes, my Arithmancy, we should go down to see Hagrid. We haven't done that in a long time. I bet he believes we've forgotten him."
Harry nodded as the bell rang. He had two more classes: History of Magic, and Divination. He was just about to suggest that Ron skive off Divination when he heard a familiar voice echo in front of him.
"...Well, she's playing a show in London on Saturday, so I'm probably going to figure out something to say to her then." Lupin was talking to Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy professor about something having to do with music. Harry's mind worked furiously and could only come up with one conclusion. He shushed a talkative Ron and hurried closer to listen.
"I hope you manage to talk some sense into that woman. Leaving in the middle of the night like that with only a vague hint of where she was going!"
Lupin sighed. "I know, Nigel, but she's always been compulsive like that. She'll come back; I know I can convince her if I catch her before she gets too drunk. I think she just needed some time to unwind. You know how women are."
Sinistra nodded before leading the conversation off in another direction. Harry's head was buzzing as he turned back to his friends with a triumphant smile on his face.
"Hermione, Ron," he began. "By Saturday we need a way to get to London."
The brandy was taken care of. Despite the weeklong wait, it felt nice to think without the haze of alcohol hanging over his head, but the temptation to imbibe could wait no longer. Snape took a left on a dingy street, looking right and left for Muggles before disappearing into The Leaky Cauldron. The bar was fairly empty, and an empty chair seemed to beckon to him. Snape sat, nodding at the barkeep.
"Don't see much of you in here, Severus," Tom, the bartender, said, nodding back.
"I know, Tom, but it's damn difficult to escape that school of mine. This is my first time out since late August."
Tom shook his head. "Jesus. I couldn't imagine. Now, what can I do you for?"
"Two shots of firewhiskey and a glass of water. Wait, make it three shots." He heard Tom chuckle as he poured the drinks. Perhaps three was a bit much to ask. It was too late to change his mind now. He downed the first shot in one gulp and grimaced. The burn in his throat was refreshing; made him know he was still alive. The other shot went down easier, and just as quickly. The last one slid down his throat like silk. He winked at the goggling barkeep. "It's been a long week."
"Obviously. Christ, I've never you seen you put it away like that. Is something wrong?"
Snape barked a laugh. "You could say that, but don't worry, Tom, it's under control now." He flashed the man a rare smile and stood. "That was a much needed reprieve, sir, thank you," he said as he handed the barkeep a Galleon. "I don't want change, I'm feeling oddly generous tonight," Snape called out over his shoulder as he entered the backroom.
It was true. Getting out of Hogwarts had done wonders on his mood. The oppressiveness had lifted, and had been replaced with something bordering on calm. It wasn't exactly peace of mind, but there was no longer an angry buzzing in his head. The brandy was heavy under his arm, and he delighted in the thought of lightening the load later. He tapped three bricks and the archway to Diagon Alley opened before him.
There were a few people on the streets; after all it was only nine. Snape could feel the alcohol beginning to dull his senses, but he wasn't exactly drunk. He was walking a fine line, though, and he had to admit it felt nice. There was a certain lightheadedness to his thoughts and memories bounced around his head in a frantic dance. Lilly Evans was there; cold in her fury, and Lucius Malfoy was clapping him on the back as he downed an entire bottle of firewhiskey. Severus chuckled. He was so much younger then. He had the world open to him. That was before... He adjusted the bottle under his arm as he grimaced at the unpleasant thought. His left arm burned at the shame.
He stopped abruptly. He had wandered towards Knockturn Alley, but was not quite there. Instead he was facing a shabby building with open doors and bright windows. Music slithered from inside and out onto the street, and a few people milled about outside. Snape's grip tightened on the bottle of brandy, but his feet willed him closer. He had to know if she was there. Despite his curiosity, there was already an answer to his question floating around in the back of his head. It wasn't just circumstance. There was a sick kind of magnetism between them; it was almost as if he was meant to be here.
Yes, it was her voice, raised in song. It was entirely different than her strong, beautiful song from the previous months. This time it was violent. Snape stepped inside, standing on one side of the door. He needed a quick escape if necessary. He watched her, fascinated. Her fingers slid into chords easily at the same time she crooned her song to the crowd. Severus strained his ears to make out the words, but the tune of the song was epic, with layering of chords and instruments to make a perfect combination.
"To the lovely dancing lights, I begged 'May I cut in?' but the never stopped playing their song. Of a joyous song they sing, I've heard whispers. On a freezing note, I resonate."
Snape's eyes were on her fingers as they sped along the fingerboard. The nails were green tonight, and he could see the tattoo on her left hand stand out against her white skin. He raised his eyes to her arms, where the same two Celtic bands knotted their way around her flesh. He unconsciously rubbed his Dark Mark and realized he had quit listening.
"You land as lightly as new snow, cinematic, onto the melting boy and melt away. You light as gently, you're so cinematic. Bathed in your radiance, I melt." There was a small grin on her lips, as if she shared a joke with herself that no one else knew. "In the glitter, in the dark, sunk into velvet praying this will never end. In the shadow of a star, in static pallor, I realized I never began."
Snape knew the feeling. He wanted to smile at her, but stopped himself in time. Instead, he moved a step forward and into the light. The music washed over him and he tuned everything out except the lyrics.
"Twisting, twisted. You land as lightly as new snow, cinematic, onto the melting boy and melt away. You light as gently, you're so cinematic. Bathed in your radiance, I melt." The music changed to something slower, and Snape opened his eyes. She was glaring at him, hate in her eyes.
"All the colors, upon leaving, all will turn to gray. All the colors...upon leaving...all will turn to gray. Gray." Her voice lingered in the air, haunting and inflamed. Snape averted his eyes from hers and lost himself in his memories again. He must look a right fool, standing among a crowd of youths, and clutching a bottle of brandy. He thought of the loathing in her eyes whenever she looked at him, and he cursed himself for his mistake of showing up, even if it was accidental. The music was gone, and with a start Snape blinked and glowered up at the stage. There seemed to be a quick whispered conference taking place between O'Flannery and the rest of the band. The drummer, a tall, muscular fellow, was grinning wickedly.
O'Flannery raised one of her hands, gesturing for silence. "Well, we had originally planned t' play another song, but I think in these certain circumstances, this one is called f'r." She bared her teeth as she announced the name, something having to do with blood. This did not sound pleasant. He was aware of these "circumstances" she spoke of, even if the crowd seemed confused. This one was directed at him.
It started out slowly, beautifully almost. "Faint white figures paint my sleep, please don't tell my secrets keep them hidden." The bass guitarist provided background vocals, but Severus didn't bother wondering about those. His entire attention was focused on the woman before him. "If the words that matter reach your face from the floor will you be wondering if, or..."
Snape almost dropped his brandy bottle as the words coming from the bassist caught him by surprise. Do I need what is given, or honest? Did she have to bring his mistake into her music? Could the witch just let him be?
The voice in the back of his head was chiding again. You came here, it said. You sought her out. Snape grimaced at the truth, not wanting to believe it. The next set of lyrics he missed, until the music swelled and O'Flannery's voice, pleading, roused him.
"And when the answer that you want is in the question that you state, come what may... Come what may." She grinned right at him; a wicked expression filled with contempt and pain. Well, he had wanted an answer. He stood firm, glaring back at her, but she did not look away. Instead her narrow eyes widened with pretend shock as she began the next verse of the song.
"In a pain that buckles out your knees could you stop this if I plead? So destined am I to walk among the dark, a child in keeping secrets from..." The bassist interjected something, but Snape wasn't listening. When was she ever a child in keeping her secrets?
"In the sought for matter when the words blame you, in a blood red summer I'll give you, I don't want it anymore. And when the answer that you want is in the question that you state, come what may. Come what may." In a split second that insolent grin was wiped off her face and replaced by look of severity. "What did I do to deserve this?"
The words echoed around him. The guilt was crushing him. "What did I do to deserve...this?" Her eyes were narrowed. She would kill him if she had the chance. There was such palpable hate between them, although Severus' face was quickly darkening, not from anger, but from shame.
What had she done to deserve anything? Absolutely nothing, and yet he had violated her in a manner more intrusive than rape. He thought of her limp form on his couch, and how easy it would have been to take her, had he been that kind of a man. You are that kind of a man, Severus, the voice in his head cut in. You have violated more than your fair share of innocent women, and yet you want to continue... Snape's stomach clenched. He could smell the blood from years ago, the blood that flowed so freely at those Revels.
Severus started as he realized the song had changed to something less threatening and personal. It was still sad, yes, but then again what was his place to critique that woman's music? Snape held the brandy bottle tight against his chest as he turned on his heel, billowing away from the building as if it were on fire. His aversion with himself was intense, and he ached for the moment he could be safely in his chambers, drinking himself into a stupor he wouldn't have to deal with until the next morning.
"I can't believe 'e had the nerve, the feckin' gall to even show 'is face!" Aislinn raged as she poured herself a drink. Now was a time for drunkenness, but Aislinn was just starting. "'E just shows up wi' his liquor like 'e had no care in th' world." She paused for a moment, and then turned to her friends. "I want t' kill him," she said in absolute seriousness, her face a mask of anger.
She saw Lupin grimace, but Rob grinned. "How would you do it, Aislinn?"
She thought for a moment, resting a finger against her chin. "I think, first, I'd whip 'im until 'is back was just a mass o' blood. Then, after he's been beggin' f'r mercy, I'd use a silk tie around 'is neck t' suffocate him." Aislinn could see it all in her head, unfolding like a play. Suddenly, she realized what she was doing, and she shivered. "Never again," she whispered, and wrapped her arms around herself.
Rob shifted uneasily under Aislinn's hard gaze. "What are ye playin' at, Rob?" She turned from him and tossed down the whiskey like water. It burned her throat, but she refused to splutter. Instead, she poured another glass and drained it. The alcohol was dulling her senses, and she smiled. The warmth spread through her body; she heaved a sigh as she sat down in a chair.
"I don't really want t' kill 'im. It's just difficult to deal with, havin' a man y' hate show up at a place y' never expected to see him," Aislinn explained as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. She shot a quick look at her guitar, propped in the corner, before tucking her legs up underneath her. Lupin's hands were resting on her shoulders, and Aislinn leaned her head back against his stomach, exhaling in one long sigh. She looked up at him and winked; he winked back and kneaded his thumbs into her shoulder blades.
"Should we leave?" asked Geoff tentatively, and Rob guffawed.
"Are you kidding, Geoff? It's Remus and Aislinn. I would trust Remus in a room full of naked women, and dear sweet Aislinn there is calm enough to be a eunuch." Rob laughed again, but promptly moaned in pain when a glass caught him in the stomach.
Aislinn glared at her bandmate and then turned back to Lupin. "Continue, Remus my dear," she whispered, and whimpered as her friend's hands worked at her shoulders, freeing up tensing muscles. Aislinn's head rolled forward, her chin resting near her collarbones, as Lupin caressed her neck and ran his fingers along her scalp.
Ice clinked against glass, Geoff and Rob spoke lowly, but Aislinn's full attention was focused on Remus Lupin's fingers as they traveled down her spine, feathering outward near her hips, and then sliding back up to her shoulders. "Remus, it's times like these I wish I didn't know ye so well," she murmured to him, her hands tensing in her lap.
Remus reached around, smoothing hair back from her face and tucking several strands behind her ears. He chuckled lowly. "Aislinn O'Flannery, you would do no such thing. I'm just the traveling masseuse."
Aislinn stood, taking Lupin's hand and leading him to a couch on the opposite side of the room. She shot an evil look at Rob, who was winking at Geoff in a suggestive way, and shook her head. "Boys," she muttered.
She staggered a bit before sitting and giggled, the alcohol flowing through her system. She wasn't drunk, but she was beginning to feel light- headed, and her balance was suffering. There was a fire in her body, too, another side effect of her drinking. She settled against her friend, her head resting on his shoulder and his arm circling her waist. "I'm lonely, Remus," she whispered to him, twining her fingers together.
"What about Fionnuala?" Lupin's voice was husky in her ear. "How can you be lonely when you have so many close friends around you now?"
Aislinn shook her head. "Not like that, Remus. I want t' be loved. I want t' be touched an' kissed..." Her voice trailed off and she nuzzled into Lupin's neck. "Spend the night wi' me," she whispered.
"I am, Aislinn, in case you forget. I'm here to get you home and help you walk, at the rate you're going."
Aislinn slid her left hand onto her friend's thigh. "No, Remus." She shuddered against him, giggling softly. "Stay wi' me tonight. Make love t' me."
Remus didn't pull away from her, or even acknowledge her for a good thirty seconds. He sighed, moving her hand from his thigh back to her lap. "We've been through this before, Aislinn, my darling, my dear. You remember what happened last time?" She nodded, and he continued. "Aislinn I can't and won't sleep with you. I know you too well; it would be like sleeping with my little sister. You're getting drunk, and that's why you feel this way." Aislinn saw him smile down at her, light dancing in his eyes. "I thought you swore off men."
Aislinn could feel her lip trembling. She wanted to cry. "I'm-I'm sorry, Remus. 'S not my place t' ask that of anyone." She straightened visibly, tossing her hair back. "Forget I ever brought it up."
Lupin adopted a confused stare. "Brought what up?" he asked innocently.
Aislinn laughed, standing up and reaching towards the liquor. "If I'm going to get drunk, we all have to get drunk!" She raised the bottle to her lips, pouring the liquid down her throat. She lowered the bottle, handing it off to Remus and shaking her head to clear it. She could feel the alcohol hit her stomach, and watched Lupin pass the whiskey to Rob. She felt like she was nineteen again. Snape was forgotten. Hogwarts was lost in the miasma of alcohol and friends, and Aislinn swayed her hips to a drumbeat Rob was beating out on a table.
"I'm worth a million in prizes with my torture film, drive a GTO, wear a uniform on a government loan..." Aislinn sang softly to herself as accepted a nearly empty bottle from Geoff.
Rob threw back his head, shouting "I've got a lust for life!" at the top of his lungs as he continued his frenzied beating.
Aislinn ran into Lupin, grabbing him around the neck gently and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. He sighed. "Is that that miserable song about Johnny doing a striptease and hypnotizing chickens?" he asked her, pushing her away gently.
Aislinn nodded. "God bless Iggy Pop," she said somberly with her hand over her heart. She knew she was swaying under the influence of the whiskey, but a sloppy smile was plastered over her face.
Suddenly, she spun on her heel, her arms outstretched to keep her balance. The door had opened, but no one stood in the frame. Aislinn whipped her wand out of a pocket of her jeans, leveling it at the doorway. "I suggest that whoever is hidin' show 'imself before I have t' do some damage," she hissed lowly. All motion behind her had ceased. There was silence.
The door shut; pushed by an unseen force, and abruptly Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasely were standing in front of her. Potter held something silvery, something that caught the light in such a strange way...
Aislinn crossed her arms over her chest, but was pushed out of the way by a furious Remus Lupin. He was yelling, though half his words were unintelligible, and Aislinn shook her head. "Remus let them be." She took a step forward, unsteadily.
Lupin looked at her angrily. "These are my students, Aislinn. I am responsible for them"
Aislinn drew herself up to her full height. She fixed her old friend with a wary gaze before speaking. "Seo, tá uisce faoi thalamh, Remus." He understood, and backed off. Aislinn turned back to the three children in front of her. Her voice was cold and calculating. "I'm sure that one o' you three has a damn good reason f'r being in London tonight." She pointed to the couch. "Sit. And speak."
She watched as the three students settled themselves, all various shades of red. Her eyes bored into them. "Well?" she asked, her voice angry.
"We needed to see you again, Professor." Aislinn's head swiveled to fix Ron in her steely gaze.
"Am I your wife Weasely?" He shook his head. "I didn't think so. Why did ye have this insatiable urge t' see me tonight?"
"Professor O'Flannery, please." Her penetrating gaze turned to Hermione, who winced, but continued to meet her old teacher glare for glare. "We overheard Professor Lupin in the hallway saying you'd be in London tonight, so we decided to sneak out to come see you. Everyone misses you, Professor. We wanted to ask you ourselves if you'd even consider coming back." Her eyes were pleading. "Please, Professor."
Aislinn turned away from her former students. "I can't answer that question now. I need time t' think." She put her head in her hands, trying to clear her thoughts.
"Aislinn, think about it," Remus interjected. "I came tonight to tell you I have to go back to Spain. I can't continue covering for you. You're needed there."
Aislinn shook her head, trying to deny it. "I can't go back, Remus. I can't face him and his arrogance any more. I'm scared I'll kill him. Remus..." Her voice trailed off. "I don't know what I'm doin' anymore."
"Think about it, Aislinn. You loved it when you were teaching. The kids obviously miss you. Go back." Remus' voice was soft and convincing, and Aislinn relaxed, once again turning to face Harry, Ron, and Hermione with her bleary eyes. She snorted.
"I guess your reason passes muster. I want ye back at Hogwarts in minutes, ye understand me? I'll be back soon enough; Monday or Tuesday perhaps." She nodded her head once; it was final. If three students could risk their education to tell her she needed to shape up, then she felt required to teach them everything she knew. "It's done," she said, extending her hand to the three students.
Each one of them grasped it, smiling.
"There are three unused fireplaces in the square, remember?" Hermione sounded exasperated as she measured out the Floo powder. "Harry you told me you needed a way into Diagon Alley, so we have one. We can't apparate, and I'm not even sure the proper way to go about making a Portkey. The Floo network will have to do."
Ron shuffled a bit, but eventually accepted the powder, grumbling under his breath. Hermione shot him an angry look, but said nothing at all.
Harry's insides felt jittery. If they were caught, they would surely be expelled. Leaving the school at any time was strictly forbidden; he doubted any other student had traveled off on a late-night jaunt to a club in London. Harry took several deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves. He, Ron, and Hermione were secreted in the Room of Requirement, since the Gryffindor common room would no doubt be filled with students. They had been there for the past hour as Hermione and Harry attempted to teach Ron Muggle poker, all the while waiting for the proper time.
Harry checked his wristwatch, sighing. "Now's as good a time as any. It's about nine o'clock."
Hermione shifted uncomfortably. She was the most nervous; school was her life, and to be expelled would be worse than being killed. To her, at least. Despite that, she was the one to point out the existence of three fireplaces in Greymalkin Square, linked to the Floo network. Harry owed her a great debt for that. She had the answer when he was still puzzling over means of transportation.
He stood, cupping the Floo powder carefully. "I'll go first. It was my idea, and if anything happens, well, it's my fault." He gave his friends a small grin in order to soften the words. He didn't really expect anything would go awry, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
The flames in the fireplace looked foreboding, but Harry tossed in the Floo powder, watching the normally orange fire turn to green. They crackled malevolently. He stepped into them, shaking off the odd sensation that he was standing in fire and not being burned. "Greymalkin Square!" he commanded, and he felt his body begin to spin. He had never really become accustomed to the Floo network; it left him feeling queasy. He was cold; his eyes were squeezed tight, and then suddenly his feet hit something solid. He opened his eyes and stumbled out of one of the empty fireplaces, feeling amazingly clean. He looked down at himself; there was not much ash, really. Then again, these fireplaces were probably cleaned often. He stepped out into the square, looking around warily and waiting on his friends. Hermione arrived shortly after he did, followed by a grumpy looking Ron.
The square was almost deserted. A few people hurried past, throwing looks over their shoulders and at the new arrivals. Ron shifted. "I hope no one here knows Dad."
Harry grinned. "I almost forgot! Here!" He reached inside his shirt and pulled out something silvery. The invisibility cloak. Harry unfurled it and settled it around his friends. "I know it's harder to stay under it now, but still, it comes in handy."
It was harder; the three friends were growing, and significantly taller than their first year. However, Harry could rest easy now, knowing they couldn't be seen. They turned a few corners until they saw they shabby building in front of them, filled with the sounds of laughter and music.
"We're going to have to stay under the cloak. I'm sure Professor O'Flannery would kill us if they saw us there."
"Then how are we going to talk to Aislinn, Hermione?" asked Ron.
Hermione thought for a while. "I think that after the show we should go backstage and take off the cloak then. Hopefully she'll hear what we have to say."
That seemed like the best course of action, so Harry nodded sagely, agreeing silently with everything Hermione said. She had thought everything out beforehand. He wanted to laugh; that was so like her. Trust the girl to think about every aspect of their adventure before it happened. Harry was proud to know her. "Are we ready?" he asked, not really waiting for confirmation. They were here. They had to do what they came to do.
It was difficult trying to shuffle through the doorway while attempting to remain unseen, but somehow they managed it. Once inside they hurried over to a dark corner, praying that between the three of them, they wouldn't hit anyone. It always made for several awkward moments or harried explanations, and this was not the place for either. Fortunately, luck was with them. From the corner Harry looked out over the crowd, seeing no one he recognized except Aislinn O'Flannery, smiling. She was in the middle of a speech to the crowd, something about support and loyalty, but Harry tuned that out. Instead he focused on things to say and how he would explain his absence from Hogwarts to her later.
"...An older song of ours, Letter of Intent."
Harry felt Ron elbow him in the ribs. "We'll finally get to see a full show," he whispered hoarsely, but Harry ignored him.
"You break down systematically when everything is black and white and red. Is up for living enough to sleep at night? You must be tired now from days and nights of growing old, I'll mark this down as one and call it moving on." A pause. "Don't bother reading those last rites, with demons sleeping soundly out of sight, sustaining tones of broken bones will sleep with you tonight. You must be drying out from days and nights of growing old, I'll this down as one that I take to my grave...alone!" She banged her head in time with the drumming, but her attention seemed focused on her shifting fingers and changing chords before continuing. "I'm making this...my last reply...it's my resignation... And I'll mark this down as one for moving on!"
Harry joined in the applause as the bassist leaned forward. He was the same wiry one, but this time he wasn't smoking a cigarette. "So, it's wonderful to see you all again so soon. We were planning to make you wait a few more weeks, but Aislinn here was itching like a cat on crack to play, so we figured we'd indulge her, right, Rob?" The drummer grinned and nodded his head vigorously.
"As I remember, ye were th' one itchin,' Geoff, because y' see, he got a bad case o' the clap off one o' those French hookers when he went to visit his dad, and this is kind o' his celebration. So ladies, stay away from him, y'hear me?" A titter of laughter raced through the audience, but Harry looked over at Hermione and noticed she was blushing.
"I'm sure she was kidding, 'Mione," Harry said, trying to reassure her.
"I know, I know," answered Hermione, "but I just keep picturing her as a professor, and she's telling dirty stories."
Another song followed shortly, but about halfway through Harry almost choked. "Look!" he whispered hoarsely, pointing with one hand towards the door.
"Bloody Hell," Ron interjected quietly as Professor Snape snuck cautiously through the doorway, holding a liquor bottle. "What is he doing here?"
Harry had to reassure himself that he couldn't be seen, but he had broken out in a cold sweat nonetheless. He attempted to focus his attention on the show, but kept checking back on the Potions master. It was obvious O'Flannery had noticed him; she conferred with her band mates on stage and began a deeply personal song that caused Snape to flush a bright red. He promptly fled.
Harry continued checking his watch, and about eleven the crowd began to disperse. The band didn't really leave the stage until midnight, when Harry beckoned his friends to follow him, keeping close under the cloak. A small flight of stairs proved almost disastrous, but soon enough they were in a back hallway behind the stage, listening to muffled voices and sounds of celebration. Now was time.
The three moved entirely in sync with each other. Soon enough the door was open, but they had forgotten about the presence of Remus Lupin, as well as the magnitude of Aislinn's anger. Hermione struggled out from under the cloak, followed by Ron, and Harry pulled it off himself. Shame was etched on his features as his former professor muttered something to his current one in a thick, guttural language and faced them herself.
However, he could see the almost-hidden laughter dancing in her eyes, and as he shook her hand he couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. O'Flannery tried her best to look severe, but as Harry shut the door behind him, he could hear her laughter cut through the night. It was one of the most pleasant sounds he had ever heard.
At that moment Snape was prowling the hallways as part of his patrol for the month of November, a punishment laid out by Albus. Although O'Flannery had left, Dumbledore refused to relent on hallway patrols or refund the pay taken out of his salary. The apology was seemingly forgotten.
Snape grumbled to himself as he remembered the smack the woman had given him. For two weeks he had sported a big purple bruise on his jaw, painful and swollen. He had refused to go see Madame Pomfrey; instead he chose to suffer in silence. When someone asked, he simply pretended he didn't hear them. Better someone's enmity than a wounded pride.
Snape turned a corner and something flicked at the corner of his eye. He spun, looking into a corridor. "Lumos," he commanded, and his wandtip flared into light. He peered into the darkness, and two luminescent eyes stared back at him. "Oh, it's you," he said, addressing the creature. "Where's Filch?"
The cat meowed imploringly, and rubbed herself up against Severus' legs. He stepped back, trying to shoo her away. "Get gone, Mrs. Norris," he said, swooshing his hands at her. She ignored him and sat on her haunches as her caretaker, Argus Filch, rounded the corner. He tipped his head at Snape.
"Good evening," Snape replied a bit caustically. He had never really liked Filch, despite their equal dislike of children. The man was a Squib, and that indicated poor breeding.
"Good evenin,'" Filch replied glibly. "I don't see nothin' out of order in the hallways, sir. Seems all the kids is in bed on a night like this."
Snape nodded. "Thank you," he said, and then headed off down the hallway, leaving the Squib and his cat behind. Instead of billowing, he walked slowly, contemplating life in general and the homework to be given the following day. Somewhere he heard a clock chime eleven, and the Potions professor sighed. Another hour of this, and then he could retire to his bed, where he at least had something to keep him warm. He turned another corner, descended a flight of stairs, and decided to prowl about the kitchens, where perhaps he could get a hot cup of tea off of the house elves.
Footfalls sounded behind him. Snape froze and drew his wand, spinning around silently only to collide with Remus J. Lupin in a traveling cloak and boots. Snape picked himself up off the floor and dusted himself off while Lupin chuckled. "I don't see what's so funny about a late night collision, Remus," Snape hissed.
Lupin was still sitting on the floor, giggling. "It's funny because, dear Severus, you're the very person I was looking for."
Snape cocked an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
Lupin nodded. "Yes indeed. I was outside having a brief conversation with a friend of mine and thought of you. So I came to find you and ask you if you wanted to join me for a cup of tea in the kitchens." Lupin stood. "So?"
Snape's head reeled in confusion. A friend? Outside, in this weather? "I'm afraid I'll have to pass on the invitation Remus. I have other things to do rather than spend my time playing in the rain."
Lupin shrugged, despite the flicker of anger in his eyes. "Your loss." The werewolf trotted off to the kitchens, leaving a trail of muddy footprints behind him.
By now, Snape's curiosity was piqued. He began following Lupin's footprints, and found they leaded to a door exiting the castle. Snape paused, thought for a minute, and decided it couldn't hurt anything. He pushed the heavy oak door open quietly and stuck his head out into the drizzle. His eyes flicked left and right. There was nothing. "Lumos maxima," he whispered, and his wandtip lit up brilliantly. For the second time that night he was greeted with two luminescent pinpricks in the dark. Snape groaned. "Filch is going to be furious with you, cat. You'll be wet and muddy." However, his words froze in his throat as the creature moved forward into the light.
It was lynx, well muscled and tall. Snape had never seen one of them on the grounds of Hogwarts before, so he looked at it suspiciously before stepping out of the safety of the doorway and into the cold English rain. His polished shoes made sucking noises as they sank slightly into the mud, and Severus cursed it. The cat, however, didn't seem troubled by the dank conditions. As Snape watched, it twitched its tiny stump of a tail and flicked its ears, baring its teeth in a grin. Snape held his wand out in front of him, hoping to blind the animal. The cat merely lowered its head and started forward again. By this time it was three feet from the professor, and he was feeling a little cowed.
The lynx stopped, glared at Snape with huge green eyes, and began hacking. Snape made to retreat, but not before the cat had unloaded a wad of spit on the corner of his robe. It turned and promptly fled, leaving the professor alone in the rain.
Snape was seething and wet, but he walked with determination towards the library. Pictures shouted angrily at him to put the light out, but he waved them off with a rude gesture brought on by anger. The cogs in his head were turning rapidly. No regular wildcat would approach a human, and no regular wildcat would hock snot. If anything, that was a human habit. This had not been the first time an Animagus had prowled the grounds of the school, and now all that was needed was to identify who it was.
All the registered Animagus' were listed in a large book kept in the library. There was a possibility the animal could be unregistered, but that would carry a large fine and perhaps a prison term. Lupin's words tickled at his brain. "I was having a brief conversation with a friend outside..." He thought back on members of the Order, but nothing really stuck out in his mind.
The book was heavy in his hands, and but sometimes the cost of information was a little effort. He was reminded of his early morning foray into the library a month and a half earlier, where he had learned of O'Flannery's background and thus implicated himself in the plot that led him to his current situation. He shook his head longingly. The past could not be undone.
"I was having a brief conversation with a friend outside...you're the very person I was looking for..."
Something about Lupin's words unsettled him. Severus had an itching feeling that the lynx would turn out to be someone he didn't want to hear from, but he steeled himself and opened the book. The "chapters" where alphabetized by animal name, and Snape flipped to L's and ran his finger to the subheading "Lynx." About thirty names were listed, along with locations and descriptions of the animals. Snape's eyes scanned the pages, looking for a familiar name. Suddenly, it jumped out at him.
"O'Flannabhra, Aislinn Ríonach. Green-eyed lynx with winged spot design on back."
There was his answer. No wonder the cat had approached him. That was the second time she had spat on him, and he wasn't about to allow a third. In the morning he would go straight to Dumbledore's office to report an Animagus prowling the grounds. Hopefully something would be done, and the woman would be prosecuted for trespassing.
He wondered what she and Lupin were discussing. It was probably her current location and future prospects, but her sudden appearance disturbed him. He had almost forgotten about his precarious position, but the lynx's identity planted it in his mind once more. Snape sighed angrily. It was the things like this that disturbed his peace of mind, if he even had any of that left. Everything was tearing at his senses: O'Flannery, the unpredictable nature of Voldemort, teaching incapable students, everything. He cursed underneath his breath as he opened the door to his rooms. It was not yet midnight, but he had decided to retire early, hall patrols or not. Fifteen minutes would not alter the course of the world.
Snape slipped out of his teaching robes, hanging them neatly in a closet. He sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his temples. He needed a warm shower and perhaps a snifter or five of good brandy, something that would scald away the sick feeling at the back of his throat. He was turning into an alcoholic, but he didn't care. He was past the point of denial. He was fully aware of what he was doing. As long as it didn't interfere with his teaching duties, he was fine with his own private addiction.
Aislinn O'Flannery had apparated to the gates of Hogwarts before turning into her lynx form. Hopefully she would not be seen by anyone of consequence. She doubted Dumbledore would have a problem with it, but she was supposed to be collecting her thoughts, not running around the grounds without anyone's knowledge. There was only one person who knew of her coming tonight, and that was Remus Lupin. She had sent him a letter the other day via Yankee Doodle, telling him that she was coming to visit, and to look for a lynx outside the south exit by the kitchens.
She padded silently through the grass, stopping when she heard Fang's familiar bark. She highly doubted it would wake Hagrid, so she continued. The dew was damp on her paws, and she flexed her claws just to feel the musculature in her cat arms. She tried to grin, but only managed a grimace. Cat faces were just not made to show emotion.
She reached the south exit and sat down to wait, flicking the stump of her tail. It would probably be around ten forty-five; so all students should be in their dormitories and not prowling hallways. She felt safe for the first time in a long time. Her weeks spent at Fionnuala's had been incredibly calming. It felt different peeling potatoes over a trashcan after poring over lesson plans for two months, but it was a welcome change. The children were delightful, and Declan was happy for the help. Aislinn had mended fences, herded sheep, and ridden a cranky horse around in freezing Irish rain. It was like she was a child again with no responsibilities.
She lay down on the dew soaked grass, resting her head on her paws. She thought back to her childhood in Cork, and the laziness that came with being a child of privilege. Her early years had been placid and happy. Her mother had doted on her, buying her random gifts and dressing her up in expensive silk dresses. Then her younger sister was born and Bean Mhi had two girls to cherish. Aislinn's father Alastair was away from home frequently, but when he did return he always brought exotic presents for his three beloved children. Richard, her brother, had been a fine figure of a boy before he turned thirteen, and would often play with her in a fort down by the stream.
Aislinn would often look at him, tilt her chin upwards and imitate her mother, saying "Bí i do bhuachaill maith" with the same authority Bean Mhi possessed. Her brother had merely laughed and ignored her, dunking her in the cold water all the same. They had two ponies, a cat, and two Irish wolfhounds, and Aislinn was always finding small animals to bring home and "nurse back to health." When the Revels took place, Aislinn would parade in front of the assembled Death Eaters like a queen, earning many approving looks and wistful sighs. Voldemort himself had chucked her under the chin, calling her a perfect angel.
It had all started to change when her brother took the Dark Mark. He became reclusive, and when Aislinn began to menstruate her father had come to her, demanding she become a Death Eater. Aislinn had refused, not really understanding the magnitude of her decision, and then the abuse had begun. It didn't stop until she fled home at eighteen. Then her real life had begun, and it had led her here, sneaking around the grounds of her former school to meet an old friend in secrecy. If only things had gone better. She loved teaching, but the taint on the school couldn't be lifted. Severus Snape had ruined it for her.
A rustle in the grass behind caused her to spin around, and she sat back on her haunches as Lupin's face smiled down at her. "I should have known you'd come like this," he said, carrying a blanket under his arm.
Aislinn resumed her human form, wrapping the blanket around her naked body. Her clothes had been shed at the gates as she changed into the lynx. An animal just couldn't wear clothes made for humans. "Thank ye, Remus, my dear. It's dreadful cold t' be out here wi'out clothes." She chuckled.
"You really shouldn't be here at all, Aislinn. I'm afraid you'll get caught. It could be considered trespassing, or even a threat to students."
Aislinn rolled her eyes. "Stop the bullshite, Moony. I'm as much a threat as that blade o' grass there." She pointed. "How's the classes wi'out me there?" she asked, feeling the familiar twinge of pain in the back of her throat. How she hated being denied!
"Everyone misses you, Aislinn. Will you come back?"
Aislinn rubbed her chin. "I have yet t' decide. I want to, but Snape's still here, and I don't think I'd ever get along wi' him. Not after what 'e did t' me. Anyway, I sent ye th' letter to let ye know I'll be playin' a show with Rob and Geoff this comin' weekend in London. I'd like ye t' stop by. Take a day off. Have a good time wi' me." She smiled.
Lupin sighed. "I don't know, Aislinn. I'd need time to think about it."
Aislinn crossed her arms over her chest, looking exasperated. "What is there t' think about? You either come, or y' don't. Not too difficult is it?" There was a biting anger in her voice, and she tried to chase it down.
"Aislinn, there's no reason to get testy about it. I'd love to come, and I probably will. It's just a matter of finding time in a busy day. And, next Saturday is a full moon, in case you've forgotten." Lupin matched attitude with attitude, and hoped he would come out winning. Aislinn merely sneered.
"So take that potion Snape concocts for ye. Ye should be fine then, right?"
Lupin nodded.
"So, it's settled," said Aislinn triumphantly. "Ye'll take the potion, and then come to the show Saturday. We can stay in th' Leaky Cauldron till Sunday and apparate back. Ye won't be missed."
Lupin nodded again. "That should work. But now, tell me something. Where have you been staying, and what have you been up to?" the werewolf asked, his genuine curiosity showing in his voice.
"With Fionnuala," Aislinn answered. "I've been doin' a lot o' farm tasks and takin' care o' the children." A wistful look came into her eyes. "God, how I miss a normal life. Have ye ever wondered, Remus, what things would be like if ye had been born normal, or at least raised that way?"
Lupin thought for a moment. "Yes and no. I often wonder what it's like not to be a werewolf, but I think a normal, Muggle life would be incredibly boring. I can understand the desire in your case, though. Perhaps if you had been born normal you wouldn't have what you have."
Aislinn smiled at her friend lovingly. "But I have people like ye, Remus, that make life worth livin.' Without ye, I wouldn't be here." She embraced him suddenly and quickly, planting a swift kiss on his lips.
They stood, encircled in each other's arms, and gazed into each other's eyes. Aislinn saw fear and concern in her friend's, and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'll be fine, Remus. Don't ye worry about me own well being. I'll get things sorted out soon enough, and ye'll see, I'll be back."
Lupin held her close to him, rocking her gently. "I love you, Aislinn," he whispered before letting her go and retreating back inside the castle.
Aislinn was left alone, and quickly changed back into the wildcat form, the blanket wrapped around her body falling to the ground. She stretched, trying to chase away the tears that threatened to fall unbidden onto the cold grass. Lupin's admission struck her, and struck her deep. There had been genuine feeling and concern in his voice. She knew he cared about her, and that he wished he could love her, but he had never really admitted it.
She sat on her haunches, flicking her stump of a tail back and forth. She tensed her paws, pushing her claws out of their sheaths, and resisted the urge to slash something. Instead, she sat, gazing into the darkness that surrounded her. The air was cold, and a slight breeze ruffled her fur. Aislinn shivered against it, and was about to turn to go when she heard footfalls and saw a familiar shape in the darkness. Instead she once again sat down, glaring into the flaring light of a wand tip.
She heard a groan, and Snape's voice chide her. Aislinn stood, walking into the light and smiling as she heard her enemy's voice die in his throat. This had to be unexpected. She doubted he knew her identity, but seeing a random lynx so close would cow anyone. She bared her teeth, and suddenly got an idea. Coughing was difficult with the throat of a cat, but Aislinn did so, gathering as much spit in her mouth as she could manage.
She then released the spit in her throat with absolute vehemence on the corner of her enemy's robes and attempted to grin wickedly before running off into the drizzle. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. She resisted the temptation to turn back towards Hogwarts and kept on moving towards the gates, but she felt her heart grow heavier with every step she took.
Hogwarts had been her happy home for about two months before the experience was soured, but she kept thinking back on her students. Most of them had been a true joy, no matter what house they were allied to. In fact, Aislinn enjoyed watching the subtle discrepancies between the houses and their students. She didn't believe in playing favorites; a Slytherin was just as welcome in her classroom as a Hufflepuff.
The gates loomed up before her, and she noticed the wet pile that was her clothes and attempted a frown. She took her human form, feeling a bit exposed, and took a deep breath, clutching the soaked clothes to her chest. All other concentration went towards her Apparation, and the gates of Hogwarts disappeared behind her in a blur of color.
Lupin's lessons the past three weeks had been informative, but there was a feeling lacking in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Harry loved having an old friend around again, but he couldn't help feeling an intense loss in his chest. His Occlumency lessons had ceased, as had any hope of speaking to a former Auror he would have seen on a regular basis. However, the class had been adjusting to Lupin's presence rather well. Malfoy, of course, had been taking regular jibes at him, but Professor Lupin seemed to shrug them off with no problem. Harry only wondered what the Ministry of Magic was thinking.
Currently they were working on a Shielding Charm, although practical lessons were often difficult to coordinate. Harry had partnered up with Neville, and both of them shared a covert smile at their memories of the defense club they had formed last year under the nose of Delores Umbridge. Most of the Gryffindors in the class had got the charm down right the first time, much to Slytherin consternation. Professor Lupin merely flashed a covert smile at Harry and continued on his direction.
Neville waved his wand, disarming Harry easily. "Where d'you reckon Professor O'Flannery is?" he asked as Harry bent down to retrieve his fallen wand.
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I asked Lupin, and all he had to say was she's somewhere in Ireland. I don't see how it really matters; I doubt she'll be coming back." Harry paused a moment, biting his lip. He lowered his wand from blocking a spell and looked Neville right in the eye. "Look, Neville, I never really got a chance to say thanks for helping me out at the Department of Mysteries last year. It was, well, really brave of you to come with us. I just feel kind of guilty about luring you there."
"You didn't lure me there!" exclaimed Neville, looking shocked. "I chose to go on my own, right?"
Harry grudgingly nodded. There were still large amounts of guilt eating at his insides. He led his friends into certain danger, and the outcome was one of horrific consequence. He chanced a glance at Lupin, whose back was turned to the pair at the moment. He wondered how he was taking it. After all, Lupin had been the last of the Marauders to stay close to Sirius. Harry knew they had lived together at the end, although it seemed Lupin was always out doing things for the Order. It must have been ungodly hard for Sirius to remain locked up in that house.
Harry was jolted out of his reverie when he was hit by another disarming spell and Neville scoffed. "That one was easy!"
Harry smiled and picked up his wand again, and was just about to deflect a spell of Neville's when Professor Lupin raised his hands.
"All right, wonderful, wonderful! If you'll pack away your wands we can continue our practice our next class. Bell's about to ring, and I want to give you time to pack up and get organized. I'm too lazy to grade homework at the time being, so I'll give you a night off."
His announcement was met with happy cheers as everyone packed up their books and settled bags on their shoulders. Harry smiled and Ron and Hermione and then transferred his eyes to Professor Lupin. The man looked tired, as tired as any human could manage. He was pale and bruised bags were under his eyes. "He looks awful, doesn't he?" whispered Harry to his friends.
They nodded. "I've heard Malfoy complaining in the Great Hall that his father is really unhappy Lupin's back teaching. Something about half- breeds and danger to students." Ron had a look of utter disgust on his face. "The only danger here is what Malfoy's dad would do if he had his way with everything."
The bell sounded, and Harry entered the mass exodus into the halls. The mood seemed fairly light-hearted, although there was still a twinge of sadness at the thought that Professor O'Flannery might not be returning. However, even Lockhart would have been in an improvement over Delores Umbridge of last year. Harry chuckled silently at remembering her face after being carried off by centaurs, and how good it would feel to sneak up behind her clapping coconuts together.
Their next class was Potions, and when Harry realized it, his spirits seemed to dampen. He doubted anything he did would be enough to save him from the wrath of Snape. The man hated Harry; that's all there was to it.
"Are you still missing that Celtic traitor?" a cold voice drawled behind Harry.
He spun around to find Draco Malfoy leaning against a wall near the Potions classroom. Crabbe and Goyle flanked him, cracking their knuckles.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Ron's voice was equally as cold and hateful.
Malfoy started forward. "Didn't I tell you last year, Potter, that you were dead?"
"Well, I'm still here, obviously. I can see why you didn't pass your divination O.W.L.," Harry growled.
Draco merely grunted and whipped out his wand. "All funny jokes, Potter, but without your beloved Defense teacher here, what are you going to do? I have almost complete immunity here."
Harry considered for a moment. What the fool said was true. Malfoy was one of Snape's favorite students. Any fight that broke out would automatically be considered Harry's fault, witnesses or not. However, he might not have a choice if Malfoy fired a spell at him. He would have to retaliate, or suffer.
Ron was the first to answer. "No you don't, scum. You know damn well that Dumbledore won't take your lying side. If we go to him, and say, perhaps, you just threatened Harry's life, do you think he'd dismiss it as a lie? No way! So watch what you say, Malfoy."
Malfoy's eyes flicked right and then left. "Is that a knut on the floor, Weasely? I bet to your family that would be a week's worth of bread, right?"
Harry had to hold the back of Ron's robes to keep him from lunging straight at Malfoy's throat. "Ron, stop! Ron! You'll just get in trouble!"
And trouble was exactly what came around the corner. Snape stared down at Harry and Ron, the corner of his lip twitching. "Fighting, are we?" he asked in a cold tone. "Ten points from Gryffindor."
It didn't get any better from there. Harry knew he had to tread carefully around Snape or risk failing his class. He had been very careful to follow every direction perfectly, but many times the hated professor still found things to criticize. Today he was not stirring slow enough, and the potion was not the proper shade of green.
"Half credit I think," Snape drawled. "I expect two rolls of parchment on properties of betony and St. John's wart and the effects when combined. I expect it on Monday. Clean your cauldrons."
Harry glared at Snape's back with pure hatred. If only he hadn't looked into the penseive... His mind trailed off at the thought of what he would find in Aislinn O'Flannery's head. Probably lots of angry and painful memories, but then again, she seemed to have a deep love of music and good times with friends. There would be memories of raucous and drunken parties as well. He thought of her that last night out by the lake and the lazy way she drug on her cigarette, allowing the smoke to issue from between her lips as she spoke. In all, she had seemed relaxed; not at all upset she was leaving. And then she had just...disappeared.
"Harry!" Hermione's tense voice caught him unaware.
"What?"
"I was just telling Ron that after your Divination classes, my Arithmancy, we should go down to see Hagrid. We haven't done that in a long time. I bet he believes we've forgotten him."
Harry nodded as the bell rang. He had two more classes: History of Magic, and Divination. He was just about to suggest that Ron skive off Divination when he heard a familiar voice echo in front of him.
"...Well, she's playing a show in London on Saturday, so I'm probably going to figure out something to say to her then." Lupin was talking to Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy professor about something having to do with music. Harry's mind worked furiously and could only come up with one conclusion. He shushed a talkative Ron and hurried closer to listen.
"I hope you manage to talk some sense into that woman. Leaving in the middle of the night like that with only a vague hint of where she was going!"
Lupin sighed. "I know, Nigel, but she's always been compulsive like that. She'll come back; I know I can convince her if I catch her before she gets too drunk. I think she just needed some time to unwind. You know how women are."
Sinistra nodded before leading the conversation off in another direction. Harry's head was buzzing as he turned back to his friends with a triumphant smile on his face.
"Hermione, Ron," he began. "By Saturday we need a way to get to London."
The brandy was taken care of. Despite the weeklong wait, it felt nice to think without the haze of alcohol hanging over his head, but the temptation to imbibe could wait no longer. Snape took a left on a dingy street, looking right and left for Muggles before disappearing into The Leaky Cauldron. The bar was fairly empty, and an empty chair seemed to beckon to him. Snape sat, nodding at the barkeep.
"Don't see much of you in here, Severus," Tom, the bartender, said, nodding back.
"I know, Tom, but it's damn difficult to escape that school of mine. This is my first time out since late August."
Tom shook his head. "Jesus. I couldn't imagine. Now, what can I do you for?"
"Two shots of firewhiskey and a glass of water. Wait, make it three shots." He heard Tom chuckle as he poured the drinks. Perhaps three was a bit much to ask. It was too late to change his mind now. He downed the first shot in one gulp and grimaced. The burn in his throat was refreshing; made him know he was still alive. The other shot went down easier, and just as quickly. The last one slid down his throat like silk. He winked at the goggling barkeep. "It's been a long week."
"Obviously. Christ, I've never you seen you put it away like that. Is something wrong?"
Snape barked a laugh. "You could say that, but don't worry, Tom, it's under control now." He flashed the man a rare smile and stood. "That was a much needed reprieve, sir, thank you," he said as he handed the barkeep a Galleon. "I don't want change, I'm feeling oddly generous tonight," Snape called out over his shoulder as he entered the backroom.
It was true. Getting out of Hogwarts had done wonders on his mood. The oppressiveness had lifted, and had been replaced with something bordering on calm. It wasn't exactly peace of mind, but there was no longer an angry buzzing in his head. The brandy was heavy under his arm, and he delighted in the thought of lightening the load later. He tapped three bricks and the archway to Diagon Alley opened before him.
There were a few people on the streets; after all it was only nine. Snape could feel the alcohol beginning to dull his senses, but he wasn't exactly drunk. He was walking a fine line, though, and he had to admit it felt nice. There was a certain lightheadedness to his thoughts and memories bounced around his head in a frantic dance. Lilly Evans was there; cold in her fury, and Lucius Malfoy was clapping him on the back as he downed an entire bottle of firewhiskey. Severus chuckled. He was so much younger then. He had the world open to him. That was before... He adjusted the bottle under his arm as he grimaced at the unpleasant thought. His left arm burned at the shame.
He stopped abruptly. He had wandered towards Knockturn Alley, but was not quite there. Instead he was facing a shabby building with open doors and bright windows. Music slithered from inside and out onto the street, and a few people milled about outside. Snape's grip tightened on the bottle of brandy, but his feet willed him closer. He had to know if she was there. Despite his curiosity, there was already an answer to his question floating around in the back of his head. It wasn't just circumstance. There was a sick kind of magnetism between them; it was almost as if he was meant to be here.
Yes, it was her voice, raised in song. It was entirely different than her strong, beautiful song from the previous months. This time it was violent. Snape stepped inside, standing on one side of the door. He needed a quick escape if necessary. He watched her, fascinated. Her fingers slid into chords easily at the same time she crooned her song to the crowd. Severus strained his ears to make out the words, but the tune of the song was epic, with layering of chords and instruments to make a perfect combination.
"To the lovely dancing lights, I begged 'May I cut in?' but the never stopped playing their song. Of a joyous song they sing, I've heard whispers. On a freezing note, I resonate."
Snape's eyes were on her fingers as they sped along the fingerboard. The nails were green tonight, and he could see the tattoo on her left hand stand out against her white skin. He raised his eyes to her arms, where the same two Celtic bands knotted their way around her flesh. He unconsciously rubbed his Dark Mark and realized he had quit listening.
"You land as lightly as new snow, cinematic, onto the melting boy and melt away. You light as gently, you're so cinematic. Bathed in your radiance, I melt." There was a small grin on her lips, as if she shared a joke with herself that no one else knew. "In the glitter, in the dark, sunk into velvet praying this will never end. In the shadow of a star, in static pallor, I realized I never began."
Snape knew the feeling. He wanted to smile at her, but stopped himself in time. Instead, he moved a step forward and into the light. The music washed over him and he tuned everything out except the lyrics.
"Twisting, twisted. You land as lightly as new snow, cinematic, onto the melting boy and melt away. You light as gently, you're so cinematic. Bathed in your radiance, I melt." The music changed to something slower, and Snape opened his eyes. She was glaring at him, hate in her eyes.
"All the colors, upon leaving, all will turn to gray. All the colors...upon leaving...all will turn to gray. Gray." Her voice lingered in the air, haunting and inflamed. Snape averted his eyes from hers and lost himself in his memories again. He must look a right fool, standing among a crowd of youths, and clutching a bottle of brandy. He thought of the loathing in her eyes whenever she looked at him, and he cursed himself for his mistake of showing up, even if it was accidental. The music was gone, and with a start Snape blinked and glowered up at the stage. There seemed to be a quick whispered conference taking place between O'Flannery and the rest of the band. The drummer, a tall, muscular fellow, was grinning wickedly.
O'Flannery raised one of her hands, gesturing for silence. "Well, we had originally planned t' play another song, but I think in these certain circumstances, this one is called f'r." She bared her teeth as she announced the name, something having to do with blood. This did not sound pleasant. He was aware of these "circumstances" she spoke of, even if the crowd seemed confused. This one was directed at him.
It started out slowly, beautifully almost. "Faint white figures paint my sleep, please don't tell my secrets keep them hidden." The bass guitarist provided background vocals, but Severus didn't bother wondering about those. His entire attention was focused on the woman before him. "If the words that matter reach your face from the floor will you be wondering if, or..."
Snape almost dropped his brandy bottle as the words coming from the bassist caught him by surprise. Do I need what is given, or honest? Did she have to bring his mistake into her music? Could the witch just let him be?
The voice in the back of his head was chiding again. You came here, it said. You sought her out. Snape grimaced at the truth, not wanting to believe it. The next set of lyrics he missed, until the music swelled and O'Flannery's voice, pleading, roused him.
"And when the answer that you want is in the question that you state, come what may... Come what may." She grinned right at him; a wicked expression filled with contempt and pain. Well, he had wanted an answer. He stood firm, glaring back at her, but she did not look away. Instead her narrow eyes widened with pretend shock as she began the next verse of the song.
"In a pain that buckles out your knees could you stop this if I plead? So destined am I to walk among the dark, a child in keeping secrets from..." The bassist interjected something, but Snape wasn't listening. When was she ever a child in keeping her secrets?
"In the sought for matter when the words blame you, in a blood red summer I'll give you, I don't want it anymore. And when the answer that you want is in the question that you state, come what may. Come what may." In a split second that insolent grin was wiped off her face and replaced by look of severity. "What did I do to deserve this?"
The words echoed around him. The guilt was crushing him. "What did I do to deserve...this?" Her eyes were narrowed. She would kill him if she had the chance. There was such palpable hate between them, although Severus' face was quickly darkening, not from anger, but from shame.
What had she done to deserve anything? Absolutely nothing, and yet he had violated her in a manner more intrusive than rape. He thought of her limp form on his couch, and how easy it would have been to take her, had he been that kind of a man. You are that kind of a man, Severus, the voice in his head cut in. You have violated more than your fair share of innocent women, and yet you want to continue... Snape's stomach clenched. He could smell the blood from years ago, the blood that flowed so freely at those Revels.
Severus started as he realized the song had changed to something less threatening and personal. It was still sad, yes, but then again what was his place to critique that woman's music? Snape held the brandy bottle tight against his chest as he turned on his heel, billowing away from the building as if it were on fire. His aversion with himself was intense, and he ached for the moment he could be safely in his chambers, drinking himself into a stupor he wouldn't have to deal with until the next morning.
"I can't believe 'e had the nerve, the feckin' gall to even show 'is face!" Aislinn raged as she poured herself a drink. Now was a time for drunkenness, but Aislinn was just starting. "'E just shows up wi' his liquor like 'e had no care in th' world." She paused for a moment, and then turned to her friends. "I want t' kill him," she said in absolute seriousness, her face a mask of anger.
She saw Lupin grimace, but Rob grinned. "How would you do it, Aislinn?"
She thought for a moment, resting a finger against her chin. "I think, first, I'd whip 'im until 'is back was just a mass o' blood. Then, after he's been beggin' f'r mercy, I'd use a silk tie around 'is neck t' suffocate him." Aislinn could see it all in her head, unfolding like a play. Suddenly, she realized what she was doing, and she shivered. "Never again," she whispered, and wrapped her arms around herself.
Rob shifted uneasily under Aislinn's hard gaze. "What are ye playin' at, Rob?" She turned from him and tossed down the whiskey like water. It burned her throat, but she refused to splutter. Instead, she poured another glass and drained it. The alcohol was dulling her senses, and she smiled. The warmth spread through her body; she heaved a sigh as she sat down in a chair.
"I don't really want t' kill 'im. It's just difficult to deal with, havin' a man y' hate show up at a place y' never expected to see him," Aislinn explained as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. She shot a quick look at her guitar, propped in the corner, before tucking her legs up underneath her. Lupin's hands were resting on her shoulders, and Aislinn leaned her head back against his stomach, exhaling in one long sigh. She looked up at him and winked; he winked back and kneaded his thumbs into her shoulder blades.
"Should we leave?" asked Geoff tentatively, and Rob guffawed.
"Are you kidding, Geoff? It's Remus and Aislinn. I would trust Remus in a room full of naked women, and dear sweet Aislinn there is calm enough to be a eunuch." Rob laughed again, but promptly moaned in pain when a glass caught him in the stomach.
Aislinn glared at her bandmate and then turned back to Lupin. "Continue, Remus my dear," she whispered, and whimpered as her friend's hands worked at her shoulders, freeing up tensing muscles. Aislinn's head rolled forward, her chin resting near her collarbones, as Lupin caressed her neck and ran his fingers along her scalp.
Ice clinked against glass, Geoff and Rob spoke lowly, but Aislinn's full attention was focused on Remus Lupin's fingers as they traveled down her spine, feathering outward near her hips, and then sliding back up to her shoulders. "Remus, it's times like these I wish I didn't know ye so well," she murmured to him, her hands tensing in her lap.
Remus reached around, smoothing hair back from her face and tucking several strands behind her ears. He chuckled lowly. "Aislinn O'Flannery, you would do no such thing. I'm just the traveling masseuse."
Aislinn stood, taking Lupin's hand and leading him to a couch on the opposite side of the room. She shot an evil look at Rob, who was winking at Geoff in a suggestive way, and shook her head. "Boys," she muttered.
She staggered a bit before sitting and giggled, the alcohol flowing through her system. She wasn't drunk, but she was beginning to feel light- headed, and her balance was suffering. There was a fire in her body, too, another side effect of her drinking. She settled against her friend, her head resting on his shoulder and his arm circling her waist. "I'm lonely, Remus," she whispered to him, twining her fingers together.
"What about Fionnuala?" Lupin's voice was husky in her ear. "How can you be lonely when you have so many close friends around you now?"
Aislinn shook her head. "Not like that, Remus. I want t' be loved. I want t' be touched an' kissed..." Her voice trailed off and she nuzzled into Lupin's neck. "Spend the night wi' me," she whispered.
"I am, Aislinn, in case you forget. I'm here to get you home and help you walk, at the rate you're going."
Aislinn slid her left hand onto her friend's thigh. "No, Remus." She shuddered against him, giggling softly. "Stay wi' me tonight. Make love t' me."
Remus didn't pull away from her, or even acknowledge her for a good thirty seconds. He sighed, moving her hand from his thigh back to her lap. "We've been through this before, Aislinn, my darling, my dear. You remember what happened last time?" She nodded, and he continued. "Aislinn I can't and won't sleep with you. I know you too well; it would be like sleeping with my little sister. You're getting drunk, and that's why you feel this way." Aislinn saw him smile down at her, light dancing in his eyes. "I thought you swore off men."
Aislinn could feel her lip trembling. She wanted to cry. "I'm-I'm sorry, Remus. 'S not my place t' ask that of anyone." She straightened visibly, tossing her hair back. "Forget I ever brought it up."
Lupin adopted a confused stare. "Brought what up?" he asked innocently.
Aislinn laughed, standing up and reaching towards the liquor. "If I'm going to get drunk, we all have to get drunk!" She raised the bottle to her lips, pouring the liquid down her throat. She lowered the bottle, handing it off to Remus and shaking her head to clear it. She could feel the alcohol hit her stomach, and watched Lupin pass the whiskey to Rob. She felt like she was nineteen again. Snape was forgotten. Hogwarts was lost in the miasma of alcohol and friends, and Aislinn swayed her hips to a drumbeat Rob was beating out on a table.
"I'm worth a million in prizes with my torture film, drive a GTO, wear a uniform on a government loan..." Aislinn sang softly to herself as accepted a nearly empty bottle from Geoff.
Rob threw back his head, shouting "I've got a lust for life!" at the top of his lungs as he continued his frenzied beating.
Aislinn ran into Lupin, grabbing him around the neck gently and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. He sighed. "Is that that miserable song about Johnny doing a striptease and hypnotizing chickens?" he asked her, pushing her away gently.
Aislinn nodded. "God bless Iggy Pop," she said somberly with her hand over her heart. She knew she was swaying under the influence of the whiskey, but a sloppy smile was plastered over her face.
Suddenly, she spun on her heel, her arms outstretched to keep her balance. The door had opened, but no one stood in the frame. Aislinn whipped her wand out of a pocket of her jeans, leveling it at the doorway. "I suggest that whoever is hidin' show 'imself before I have t' do some damage," she hissed lowly. All motion behind her had ceased. There was silence.
The door shut; pushed by an unseen force, and abruptly Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasely were standing in front of her. Potter held something silvery, something that caught the light in such a strange way...
Aislinn crossed her arms over her chest, but was pushed out of the way by a furious Remus Lupin. He was yelling, though half his words were unintelligible, and Aislinn shook her head. "Remus let them be." She took a step forward, unsteadily.
Lupin looked at her angrily. "These are my students, Aislinn. I am responsible for them"
Aislinn drew herself up to her full height. She fixed her old friend with a wary gaze before speaking. "Seo, tá uisce faoi thalamh, Remus." He understood, and backed off. Aislinn turned back to the three children in front of her. Her voice was cold and calculating. "I'm sure that one o' you three has a damn good reason f'r being in London tonight." She pointed to the couch. "Sit. And speak."
She watched as the three students settled themselves, all various shades of red. Her eyes bored into them. "Well?" she asked, her voice angry.
"We needed to see you again, Professor." Aislinn's head swiveled to fix Ron in her steely gaze.
"Am I your wife Weasely?" He shook his head. "I didn't think so. Why did ye have this insatiable urge t' see me tonight?"
"Professor O'Flannery, please." Her penetrating gaze turned to Hermione, who winced, but continued to meet her old teacher glare for glare. "We overheard Professor Lupin in the hallway saying you'd be in London tonight, so we decided to sneak out to come see you. Everyone misses you, Professor. We wanted to ask you ourselves if you'd even consider coming back." Her eyes were pleading. "Please, Professor."
Aislinn turned away from her former students. "I can't answer that question now. I need time t' think." She put her head in her hands, trying to clear her thoughts.
"Aislinn, think about it," Remus interjected. "I came tonight to tell you I have to go back to Spain. I can't continue covering for you. You're needed there."
Aislinn shook her head, trying to deny it. "I can't go back, Remus. I can't face him and his arrogance any more. I'm scared I'll kill him. Remus..." Her voice trailed off. "I don't know what I'm doin' anymore."
"Think about it, Aislinn. You loved it when you were teaching. The kids obviously miss you. Go back." Remus' voice was soft and convincing, and Aislinn relaxed, once again turning to face Harry, Ron, and Hermione with her bleary eyes. She snorted.
"I guess your reason passes muster. I want ye back at Hogwarts in minutes, ye understand me? I'll be back soon enough; Monday or Tuesday perhaps." She nodded her head once; it was final. If three students could risk their education to tell her she needed to shape up, then she felt required to teach them everything she knew. "It's done," she said, extending her hand to the three students.
Each one of them grasped it, smiling.
"There are three unused fireplaces in the square, remember?" Hermione sounded exasperated as she measured out the Floo powder. "Harry you told me you needed a way into Diagon Alley, so we have one. We can't apparate, and I'm not even sure the proper way to go about making a Portkey. The Floo network will have to do."
Ron shuffled a bit, but eventually accepted the powder, grumbling under his breath. Hermione shot him an angry look, but said nothing at all.
Harry's insides felt jittery. If they were caught, they would surely be expelled. Leaving the school at any time was strictly forbidden; he doubted any other student had traveled off on a late-night jaunt to a club in London. Harry took several deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves. He, Ron, and Hermione were secreted in the Room of Requirement, since the Gryffindor common room would no doubt be filled with students. They had been there for the past hour as Hermione and Harry attempted to teach Ron Muggle poker, all the while waiting for the proper time.
Harry checked his wristwatch, sighing. "Now's as good a time as any. It's about nine o'clock."
Hermione shifted uncomfortably. She was the most nervous; school was her life, and to be expelled would be worse than being killed. To her, at least. Despite that, she was the one to point out the existence of three fireplaces in Greymalkin Square, linked to the Floo network. Harry owed her a great debt for that. She had the answer when he was still puzzling over means of transportation.
He stood, cupping the Floo powder carefully. "I'll go first. It was my idea, and if anything happens, well, it's my fault." He gave his friends a small grin in order to soften the words. He didn't really expect anything would go awry, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
The flames in the fireplace looked foreboding, but Harry tossed in the Floo powder, watching the normally orange fire turn to green. They crackled malevolently. He stepped into them, shaking off the odd sensation that he was standing in fire and not being burned. "Greymalkin Square!" he commanded, and he felt his body begin to spin. He had never really become accustomed to the Floo network; it left him feeling queasy. He was cold; his eyes were squeezed tight, and then suddenly his feet hit something solid. He opened his eyes and stumbled out of one of the empty fireplaces, feeling amazingly clean. He looked down at himself; there was not much ash, really. Then again, these fireplaces were probably cleaned often. He stepped out into the square, looking around warily and waiting on his friends. Hermione arrived shortly after he did, followed by a grumpy looking Ron.
The square was almost deserted. A few people hurried past, throwing looks over their shoulders and at the new arrivals. Ron shifted. "I hope no one here knows Dad."
Harry grinned. "I almost forgot! Here!" He reached inside his shirt and pulled out something silvery. The invisibility cloak. Harry unfurled it and settled it around his friends. "I know it's harder to stay under it now, but still, it comes in handy."
It was harder; the three friends were growing, and significantly taller than their first year. However, Harry could rest easy now, knowing they couldn't be seen. They turned a few corners until they saw they shabby building in front of them, filled with the sounds of laughter and music.
"We're going to have to stay under the cloak. I'm sure Professor O'Flannery would kill us if they saw us there."
"Then how are we going to talk to Aislinn, Hermione?" asked Ron.
Hermione thought for a while. "I think that after the show we should go backstage and take off the cloak then. Hopefully she'll hear what we have to say."
That seemed like the best course of action, so Harry nodded sagely, agreeing silently with everything Hermione said. She had thought everything out beforehand. He wanted to laugh; that was so like her. Trust the girl to think about every aspect of their adventure before it happened. Harry was proud to know her. "Are we ready?" he asked, not really waiting for confirmation. They were here. They had to do what they came to do.
It was difficult trying to shuffle through the doorway while attempting to remain unseen, but somehow they managed it. Once inside they hurried over to a dark corner, praying that between the three of them, they wouldn't hit anyone. It always made for several awkward moments or harried explanations, and this was not the place for either. Fortunately, luck was with them. From the corner Harry looked out over the crowd, seeing no one he recognized except Aislinn O'Flannery, smiling. She was in the middle of a speech to the crowd, something about support and loyalty, but Harry tuned that out. Instead he focused on things to say and how he would explain his absence from Hogwarts to her later.
"...An older song of ours, Letter of Intent."
Harry felt Ron elbow him in the ribs. "We'll finally get to see a full show," he whispered hoarsely, but Harry ignored him.
"You break down systematically when everything is black and white and red. Is up for living enough to sleep at night? You must be tired now from days and nights of growing old, I'll mark this down as one and call it moving on." A pause. "Don't bother reading those last rites, with demons sleeping soundly out of sight, sustaining tones of broken bones will sleep with you tonight. You must be drying out from days and nights of growing old, I'll this down as one that I take to my grave...alone!" She banged her head in time with the drumming, but her attention seemed focused on her shifting fingers and changing chords before continuing. "I'm making this...my last reply...it's my resignation... And I'll mark this down as one for moving on!"
Harry joined in the applause as the bassist leaned forward. He was the same wiry one, but this time he wasn't smoking a cigarette. "So, it's wonderful to see you all again so soon. We were planning to make you wait a few more weeks, but Aislinn here was itching like a cat on crack to play, so we figured we'd indulge her, right, Rob?" The drummer grinned and nodded his head vigorously.
"As I remember, ye were th' one itchin,' Geoff, because y' see, he got a bad case o' the clap off one o' those French hookers when he went to visit his dad, and this is kind o' his celebration. So ladies, stay away from him, y'hear me?" A titter of laughter raced through the audience, but Harry looked over at Hermione and noticed she was blushing.
"I'm sure she was kidding, 'Mione," Harry said, trying to reassure her.
"I know, I know," answered Hermione, "but I just keep picturing her as a professor, and she's telling dirty stories."
Another song followed shortly, but about halfway through Harry almost choked. "Look!" he whispered hoarsely, pointing with one hand towards the door.
"Bloody Hell," Ron interjected quietly as Professor Snape snuck cautiously through the doorway, holding a liquor bottle. "What is he doing here?"
Harry had to reassure himself that he couldn't be seen, but he had broken out in a cold sweat nonetheless. He attempted to focus his attention on the show, but kept checking back on the Potions master. It was obvious O'Flannery had noticed him; she conferred with her band mates on stage and began a deeply personal song that caused Snape to flush a bright red. He promptly fled.
Harry continued checking his watch, and about eleven the crowd began to disperse. The band didn't really leave the stage until midnight, when Harry beckoned his friends to follow him, keeping close under the cloak. A small flight of stairs proved almost disastrous, but soon enough they were in a back hallway behind the stage, listening to muffled voices and sounds of celebration. Now was time.
The three moved entirely in sync with each other. Soon enough the door was open, but they had forgotten about the presence of Remus Lupin, as well as the magnitude of Aislinn's anger. Hermione struggled out from under the cloak, followed by Ron, and Harry pulled it off himself. Shame was etched on his features as his former professor muttered something to his current one in a thick, guttural language and faced them herself.
However, he could see the almost-hidden laughter dancing in her eyes, and as he shook her hand he couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. O'Flannery tried her best to look severe, but as Harry shut the door behind him, he could hear her laughter cut through the night. It was one of the most pleasant sounds he had ever heard.