Part 12: Suspicion Run A Muck

Two Months Later

Draco and Harry were progressing quite nicely in their pregnancies, well as nice as it could get when one felt the size of an elephant, had constant backaches, and swollen ankles. Needless to say the two were not always the most bearable people on the planet, let alone Gryffindor Tower. Harry was getting particularly narky, especially in Hermione's opinion.

Hermione and Ron were quietly discussing a very important topic in the corner of the common room while Harry glared at them, constantly making comments to Draco, who would in turn glare and then nod his head in agreement. Harry was making very rude guttural noises from his place on the couch in a very bad attempt to distract Hermione and Ron. Hermione was getting very annoyed with Harry and with every sound he made, she would merely shift in her seat so that her back was further turned to him. This annoyed Harry to no end, so he finally managed to get himself up off the couch, this was no small feat, the couches were very cushiony and one's body sort of fell into to the couch, when one was carrying around a bump the size of two quaffles in front of them it was nearly impossible to get up from the couch unaided. Harry however used his wand and cast a spell that would in essence pull him off the couch. Then he waddled his way over to Hermione and stood behind her glaring. He reached his wand out and tapped her shoulder rather hard.

Hermione ignored him for a second, then he poked her a second time, even harder, she stiffly turned around to face him. "Is there something I can help you with, Harry?" she asked forcing a grin.

"Yes, why are you sitting over here with i him, /i when I am sitting on the couch alone waiting to have a back rub and foot massage?"

" I would suspect you are sitting there with i Draco /i because I am i busy /i discussing something IMPORTANT with Ron."

"Oh? And what is possibly more important than making sure that the man carrying your child is comfortable enough to make sure the baby isn't suffering from unnecessary distress?"

"Obviously, what Ron and I are discussing. Why don't you go over there and have Draco rub your back and then you can rub his. Come on now love, be a good daddy" she said sardonically.

Harry just stood glaring at her.

"Harry if you don't go and put your feet up your ankles are going to swell and then you are going to be in a foul mood all day tomorrow because you won't have been able to sleep."

Harry didn't say anything and made his way back to the couch where Draco was sitting absent- mindedly rubbing the bump on his abdomen. Harry plopped himself back down on the couch, "Can you believe that woman?" he said to no one in particular, but Draco had to answer.

"Which one Hermione or Ginny?"

"Hermione. Why what's wrong with Ginny?"

"Well all she does all day after class is sit in front of the fire reading a book or watching some sort of Muggle movie that plays on that damn globe Hermione gave her for her birthday. She doesn't pay any attention to me at all. It hasn't exactly been easy for me since Pomfrey put me on rest. I can't leave the bloody Tower, and all I want is some social interaction and a nice back massage."

"Huh! Well I asked Hermione to give me a back massage just now and you know what she told me?" Draco nodded his head. "She told me to ask you because she was discussing something important with Ron!"

"The nerve! Honestly, you would think that they wouldn't understand the sacrifices we're making here. I don't see them losing their figures or hovering over toilets or getting swelled ankles or strange cravings!"

"And I don't see them trying to make our lives any easier," Harry started. "Just last night at around three in the morning I made my way over to Hermione's dorm and asked her to go to the kitchens and get me some cold chicken topped off with peanut butter and a side of dill pickles and she told me if I could walk all the way to her dorm then I could make it to the kitchens! And then she yelled at me when I tried to call for Dobby, said he needed a break!"

"That's awful!" Draco's eyes grew wide."Shh, Shh, here she comes."

"Hello Harry, Love, how are we feeling better?" she asked sweetly as she put her arms on his shoulders and started to massage them. He shrugged his shoulders and twisted his body away from her, "Don't touch me," he said coldly. Draco snickered, but stopped when he heard Ginny.

"And what is so funny Draco? I saw the two of you chatting over here! Now what is going on?"

Draco squirmed a little and then Ginny pulled him up off the couch. "As if you would understand anyways." Then he had to focus really hard to hold back the tears that were about to gush from his eyes. "You are always just making life so difficult," and then he waddled off to his dormitory as fast as his swollen ankles would carry him.

"I am going to see if he's alright!" called Harry as he waddled after Draco.

Hermione turned to Ginny, "I don't know how much more I can take of those two acting like smarmy gits! Blasted hormones!"

--

Meanwhile Back in the Dorms

Draco and Harry were both still in an irritable mood when Ron walked in. The poor red head had no idea what was in store for him when he opened that door and placed his wand on the night stand beside his bed.

"So, Ron did you enjoy your little talk with Hermione?" asked Harry coldly.

"Yeah, we haven't talked in a while, it was nice," he replied happily.

"Oh really. So are you shagging her then?"

"What the bloody hell are you going on about?"

"Don't play innocent with me, I know what you're up to."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"You two are spending every free second together whispering and then whenever I come around you stop!"

"Harry you are over reacting, Hermione and I are just talking, she was helping me with a Divination chart."

"She hates Divination!"

"That doesn't mean she can't help me out mate. Look I know you aren't feeling yourself."

"You don't have any idea how I feel, Ronald!" Harry shouted. Then all of a sudden he crumpled down on the edge of his bed in a fit of tears. "How would you know what I feel like? The woman I love won't even come anywhere near me because I am fat and disgusting."

"Maybe she won't come anywhere near you because you are acting like a bloody wanker! You cry at the drop of a hat and then you shout at her the next second for whatever reason. I really don't know why you think she's been avoiding you, ever since you got hit with that spell I have barely had five minutes to talk to her until recently. Just bloody calm down."

The next thing Ron knew, Draco had his hands held tightly behind his back, and Harry had his wand pointed directly at Ron's abdomen. "Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't hex you like I hexed Draco!"

"Oh Bloody Hell," was all Ron managed to say before he passed out.

Then Draco let Ron slump down to the floor and both he and Harry shared a fit of laughter.

"That git thinks I would really hex him!"

"Well he did make you angry."

"Yeah, but let's have him on a bit. I got this potion from Fred and George that mimics morning sickness, he'll think I've hexed him!"

With that Draco nodded and opened Ron's mouth while Harry poured the potion down Ron's throat, the Draco used his wand, "Ennervate."

Ron woke with a start, "What did you d.." before he could finish his sentence he ran off to the loo, the sounds of his retching could be heard from behind the closed door. The next thing either one of them saw was a flash of red hair running to what they assumed to be the hospital wing.

---

A half an hour later

Ron returned to the dormitory with a shocked look on his face, he immediately found Harry and Draco sitting on their respective beds holding their enchanted globes in their hands watching their babies move, "You two think you are a bloody riot don't you?"

Harry giggled. "Yeah we do actually, that was the most fun I've had since I hexed Draco."

"That isn't funny Potter," warned Draco through the widest grin either Harry or Ron had ever seen on his face.

"Do you know what that bloody woman did to me up there?" He unconsciously grabbed the crotch of his pants. "She said the only way to know for sure if you hexed me with that spell was to look inside…she made it disappear Harry!"

Harry had tears rolling down his cheeks he was laughing so hard. "Yeah I know what she has to do…it is bloody embarrassing! But better you than me!"

Draco was laughing too and he slipped a little. "Just be happy yours grew back Weasley, I'm still waiting!"

"Oh man! Do you reckon it could just come and go?"

Harry seizing the opportunity lied a little bit. "That is what happens to me mate! I am always afraid it won't come back!"

The consequence of that little lie was everyone seeing Ron, at least once every fifteen minutes, reaching for he crotch of his pants under his robes to make sure his penis was still there for the next couple of weeks.

Part 12.5: The Aftermath

The Same Night

Harry and Draco stood staring at Ron; it was difficult not to laugh at him. Every single time they glanced up at Ron they laughed. Ron hadn't told anybody about what happened, no one except Madame Pomfrey, but somehow, Hermione found out and she wasn't very happy about it.

"Harry James Potter and Draco," there was a pause as she realized that she didn't know Draco's name, she sat searching her memory for a few minutes and became more flustered at the fact that she didn't know something, "Draco…Draco, oh what in the bloody hell is your middle name?"

"That would be none of your business!"

"Don't make me go and ask Ginny!"

"I don't have a middle name."

"Fine. Harry James Potter and Draco No Middle Name Malfoy, what do you two think your doing?"

"Um ... right now, Potions homework," answered Harry.

"Not that, what did you two do to Ron? He won't come near me and every time I look at him he practically has his hands down his pants!"

"We didn't do anything," replied Draco, which was half the truth, Madame Pomfrey was responsible for his paranoia.

"You two are…so…argh" she didn't want to say anything to upset them nor did she wish to say anything that she would live to regret. So she stormed away.

"Good thing we're preggers, Harry. Otherwise she might have hexed us both!"

"Nah, she could never hex me, you on the other hand had better be glad," Harry joked as he returned his attentions to his potions essay. He was steadily working along at it when he felt a tap on his shoulder; he looked up to see Ron.

"How can I help you mate?" Harry asked playfully as if nothing had happened to Ron at all.

"Well, I just found out that I am not pregnant, thank you very much!"

" I knew that."

"You could have shared that information with me you know!"

"Well, you ran off so fast I didn't get a chance! What would you have me do, waddle all the way to hospital wing after you?" Ron nodded smugly. "By the time I got there you would have already been transfigured."

" I am only going to forgive you because Hermione said you are basically mental right now."

"Mental are we Ron?" asked Draco brandishing his wand. "Then I guess we really couldn't get into trouble if we hexed you for real." A sly grin crossed his face.

Ron put his hands out in front of him. "Now Draco, be a good mate, I was just having at you, I don't really think you're mental. You two already played a very funny joke," he assured them as he slowly backed away. His get away attempt was foiled by a pesky chair that he fell right over, unfortunately the chair was very close to the table Hermione was working at and her pot of black ink spilled all over Ron's red hair. It was another laugh at Ron's expense.

Hermione was quick to the rescue as always, "Scourgify!" The ink disappeared from Ron's person. " Now you can finish helping me"

Harry glared at Ron and Hermione before he returned to his essay, he desperately wanted to know what those two were up to. Again were the sounds of hushed whispers and he caught a few words here and there, "baby….Harry….Draco….surprise…awful…leave…." Then Hermione glared at Harry and motioned for him to return to his work. But all Harry could think of was how Hermione was probably going to leave him with Draco and go off with Ron. He slammed his book shut, left the scrolls on the table and went up to his dorm room. There he sat in the darkness of his curtained four-poster bed for the entire night, sleeping a dreamless sleep thanks to the draught Dobby put in the pumpkin juice Harry requested before bed.