Disclaimer: I don't own any characters herein.

Note: This is no longer a one shot, thanks to Natana who asked for it to be longer. This is an Angst fic, and so there will be depressing scenes. Also this is Draco/Harry slash fic, if you don't like, don't read simple as that.

Rating: PG-13

Chapter One: Quandaries Of The Morning

When Harry awoke that morning there was a great commotion down in the common room. He lay in his bed for a moment idly rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and trying to remember where he was.

Then he remembered, he was in the dormitory at Hogwarts, it was his final year, and he'd been back for two days. He had a whole weekend to spend here until his lessons started on Monday. A slow smile crept up onto his features. He stretched lethargically and wondered briefly what had awoken him. He reached out a hand and picked up his glasses from the bed side table, with a small yawn he pushed them up onto his nose and then swung his legs off of the side of his mattress. His feet thudded to the cold floor.

He could hear a lot of movement going on down below, mostly a lot of excited chatter, probably the first years he was still half asleep and didn't have the inclination to decipher the words that were being passed about. It was probably the first years.

He pushed himself to his feet and then went to begin his usual morning routine; he walked towards the bathroom, taking mental notes about his sleeping companions. Ron was nowhere to be found, but then that didn't really surprised Harry, he knew that Ron's cousin had started Hogwarts this year, so he was probably showing him around and introducing him to the other Gryffindors. Seamus was sprawled out on top of the bed clothes, his face buried into his pillows, his fair hair sticking up in ridiculous shapes. Dean was up too, or so it seemed as the bed was neatly made, as usual reflected Harry somewhat sourly, and Neville…well Harry had to try hard to stifle a laugh, somehow the poor boy had managed to get himself the wrong way round, spread eagled face down on the bed with one leg in the air. He was snoring loudly as well. Harry snickered to himself and shook his head in amusement, it didn't matter to him what they slept like, just knowing that he had friends around was comfort enough for him.

Harry went into the bathroom cautiously, checking that there was no one in there already, and that he locked the door once he was in. Turning around he faced the mirror and stared at the person that looked back at him.

He found himself hard to recognise, he had changed so much since he had started Hogwarts, his eyes were still green, Ginny Weasley once described them as 'Emerald Green'. He wasn't sure if he agreed with her, they looked murkier to him, like the depths of the Pacific Ocean. He wondered if it was possible to drown in his eyes, he heard that girl's thought it was romantic when they could get lost in a boy's eyes, but Harry didn't hold much faith in romantics. He dismissed the drowning idea and brushed his teeth before took off his glasses again and laid them on the ledge under the mirror.

Quickly he stripped off his clothes and began to shower, the hot water washing away the sweat from the night before that still clung to his adolescent body. Harry looked down at his arms. His scars had faded, but they were still visible. It had been back at the end of his fifth year, he had tried to kill himself, he had been overwhelmed by Sirius's death, he thought that he was to blame. But it seemed as though The Boy Who Lived, could do nothing without the wizarding world being aware of it, even the taking of his own life. He had spent the summer in St. Mungo's much to his distaste and unease. Some of the people there were truly insane, he didn't belong there, taking pills every morning and sat alone on a white bed in a white room.

Ron and Hermione had come to visit him of course, but no one else had known, not one person than those who had to. Harry had hated feeling weak in front of them, hated being dependant on the drugs for his happiness.

Harry shook his head, spraying the water that had collected on his hair in every direction. Those times were behind him now, he had over come them. Hopefully he would never go back to that awful state of mind again. It was anew lease of life for him, and he intended to be grateful for everything happened to him whether good or bad, because it was better all round to live, rather than die. Especially if you had friends.

Absently he traced the ridged scars over his wrists with a forefinger before he pushed all morbid thoughts from his mind and turned off the shower. He stepped out and began drying himself with the towel that lay on the pole next to the sink. He scrubbed his hair for a second and then discarded the soaked towel in favour of the hairdryer that was on the sink edge, being made by wizards, it was silent, and so he dried his hair safe in the knowledge that he would not be rousing his two friends.

He left the hairdryer on stand by on the side table ready for whoever came and used it next. Picking up a comb he moved towards the mirror and began to methodically brush his hair. He had tried more or less to keep it the same length it should have been, but he often experimented with different styles, for instance this year he had grown his fringe long so that it hung over his scar completely and on that side, it was so long that he had to brush it aside to see through his right eye. He thought it was cool; he had received many comments that it made him look older and more sophisticated. After combing his hair and his fringe he reached forwards and squeezed a generous amount of hair gel, from the tube that lay on the side, onto his hands and then began working into through the back of his hair, spiking it up at odd angles. Satisfied he put his glasses back on, thankful that he'd taken the time in the summer holidays to purchase a pair of rectangle rimless ones, it was partly to try and rid himself of the image he had had when he had been younger and it was partly because Hermione had been badgering him to take more care with his appearance and buy some more clothes now that he had the money.

Shaking his head at his friend's worry he wrapped a towel around his waist and picking up his discarded pyjamas and went back out into the dorm, noticing with mild surprise that the beds where Neville and Dean had previously been were now empty, the bedclothes strewn everywhere as if they had gotten up in a hurry.

The commotion downstairs still had subsided, Harry was curious now, if it was just excited first years surely they would have dispersed to explore or be shown around by now or something. He realised that he couldn't go downstairs to see what was happening dressed only in towel. Pursing his lips at the thought of missing something important he hurriedly got dressed not paying too much attention towards what he was putting on, but just enough to know that he would look presentable.

The clothing items he chose, unfortunately made him look more like a goth than he had ever been in his life. He had pulled on a pair of baggy black jeans that hung low on his hips and fell down over the black trainers he had pushed his feet into. He had put on a long sleeved black shirt with a high collar. He noticed the gothism that his clothing caused, but was too curious by now to take the time to change. He shoved the sheets back onto his bed in a pile, making a mental note in his head to make it later, and then headed towards the door that led to the winding stairs.

He began to walk down the stairs at a rapid pace, being careful that he didn't trip over his trousers and go flying. He didn't want to suffer that kind of embarrassment on his second day. Besides today was the day that he had to make a good impression on the first years even though he hadn't made it to be prefect, that particular job had fallen onto Hermione and Dean. Harry was relieved that he didn't have to do something else; it was a relief to be free of that responsibility.

As he neared the foot of the stairs however, he realised that what had seemed like a mild commotion from upstairs was actually rather grand-scale. Every Gryffindor was in the common room with wide eyed looks permanently fixed to their faces. Everyone from first years to seventh years was there, milling about and talking to their friends with horrified or smug looks on their faces. As he neared the group he heard a few snippets of the conversations going on.

"To bad he didn't succeed…"

"What would possess him to do that?"

"Selfish…"

Thoroughly confused Harry made his way towards the bulk of the group, hoping to find Ron and Hermione. He noticed that the majority of people were still dressed in their pyjamas. Harry recognised that this must be something big if people aren't even getting dressed first. He frowned, was there an announcement that was due to be made, or was there a transfer student? If so he didn't really have time to be listening to useless stuff, even it was just an announcement he was sure that it would be finished with soon, after all he had to make a quick stop at the library to pick up some books that he was going to need for the classes he was taking.

He was still stuck with Potions, he pulled a face at the thought, but Snape didn't really bother him as much anymore, and Malfoy had been rather subdued for the past year or so. He had dropped Divination, it was an absurd subject anyway, especially since Firenze had gone back to the forest and Trelawney had assumed the full class once again. Defence against the Dark Arts was still one of his favourite lessons, but once again they were having a new teacher, something he really could do without. Care for Magical Creatures was still on his agenda and he needed a book on Gryphons or so he'd been told by Hagrid. Transfiguration was still good, as was charms but in addition there was now Study of Ancient Runes and Wizarding Literature, which he favoured greatly as an option other than History.

He was beginning to get annoyed now, the chatter was still going on around him, he couldn't see Ron or Hermione and the first years were starting to look at him like he was the best thing since sliced bread.

"Harry!"

Harry turned around, he was relieved to see that Hermione and Ron had seen him and were coming across the room towards him, earning them both adoring looks from the first years. Harry shook his head at this, but he immediately sobered when he saw the serious expressions of his friends' faces. Hermione's brow was drawn down into a low frown and her eyes were filled with worry, Ron just looked plain grumpy.

"Harry! I've been trying to find you all morning! I even went into your dorm to find you!" explained Hermione hastily, "It's terrible isn't it? I couldn't believe it when I heard but Nearly Headless Nick Heard it off The Bloody baron who heard Madam Pomfrey talking to Dumbledore. Nick was telling The Fat Lady, and it got back to us this morning, no one knows what's going to happen now." She rattled on, looking closely at Harry's face all the time.

"And every one knows what that Fat Lady knows everyone knows." Mumbled Ron rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

Harry, although he was in possession of great patience was getting extremely agitated by his friends. If there was something important that had happened surely they should tell him? Hermione began to speak again, this time her tone was low and her eyes were darting about to make sure no one else was listening in.

"Now Harry, just because you've had a similar experience don't feel like you have to go and talk to him. It's not your problem." She gave him a meaningful look; it was, however, completely lost on him.

"Talk to who Hermione?" he asked looking at Ron who was stretching awkwardly and tugging at the collar of his pyjamas as if he was uncomfortable.

"To Malfoy." She said quietly, "It's not you're problem, you shouldn't feel the need to talk to him."

Harry scowled at his two friends, "Why would I talk to Malfoy? What has he done now?" it was his second day back, and already his rival was causing problems, it seemed as though the subdued Malfoy from the previous year or so was gone, and this year he planned to make a nuisance of himself again. Arrogant git.

Hermione looked at him sharply, and Ron looked up startled.

"Don't you know?" asked Ron dropping his hand from his collar.

"Know what?" he was beginning to feel as if he was missing something very important here, and it was unusual for him to be the last to find out.

Hermione clasped her hands together and fidgeted for a moment before, her hands stilled and she looked up at Harry and locked their gazes together. "Early this morning," she paused as if she was having difficulty getting the actual words out. Harry waited with bated breath, "Early this morning, Malfoy tried to kill himself."