Part 4 - The Battle on Misty Mountain
(Pippin starts to sing)
Pippin: Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me...
Jack: We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, we loot...
Pippin: Drink up me hearties yo ho!
Jack: I love this song!
Elizabeth: Well I made it up...
Merry: Well Pippin, you've finally found your singing partner and he's just as bad as you!
Jack: I am I really that bad? I don't think I am. Anyway, I luv you too Elizabeth!
Elizabeth: I can't breathe... (Faints)
Everyone: Elizabeth!!!
Merry: Hey, it's a jar of Mayonnaise!
Pippin: I like Mayonnaise! (Runs to it)
Merry: Wait for me Pippin! (Runs after Pippin)
(Gandalf reaches of them as if to stop them, but changes his mind)
(Both Merry and Pippin are now off stage)
Jack: I didn't know you middle age folk knew what mayonnaise was...
Legolas: Umm....
Elrond: Just then, screaming and gunfire are heard in the distance.
???: (laughing) I'm here for the treasure mates so give it up!
Jack: Oh, not you...
???: Captain Barbossa at your service...In a sense.
(Gandalf with a questioning look on his face)
Will: Aye Avast!
Jack & Barbossa: Dude people just don't say that any more!
Will: (Looks blankly at the two, then looking in a mirror) I hope I didn't mess up my hair with all the running I've been doing.
Jack: So Will, lad, what got you into hooking up with me rival?
Will: Who said I was with him? (Still looking in the mirror)
Elizabeth: That is what you call a narcissist.
Jack: Your awake!
Legolas: Uh...she was awake for some time now...
Jack: Oh...
Elrond: Everyone congregates and talk of what had happened so far...Barbossa decides to help Jack and his party out and Will comes to protect Miss Swann. Then a voice is heard echoing in the cave...
???: Yesss my preciouss you will be mine and it drawss near...
Elizabeth: That voice sounds oddly familiar.
Legolas: Gollum must be here...
Will: Who is this Gollum, is he more handsome than I?!?
Legolas: Nothing of the sort...
Jack: Oh shut up Will!
Barbossa: Ah, another ghost story is afoot?
Elizabeth: None so gruesome as yours...
Barbossa: Aw, well thank you lass...I'll take that as a complement!
(Gollum jumps out from his hiding place)
Gollum: We wantss it... we wantss it!, give it to usss!!
Will: Eww, it's so ugly...don't let that thing get near me, some of its ugliness might rub off on me...
Jack: So much for heroics.
Legolas: Ummm...now what?
Elizabeth: We outnumber it, we fight! (Draws Jack's sword again)
Jack: Those are my affects!
Barbossa: Shut yer trap and fight!
Gollum: (Jumps on to Jack's Back) Arrrrrghh! Aaaahhhh!!
Jack: Get this vile creature of me back! (Makes motions to try and get him off)
Elizabeth: (Tries to stab Gollum, but in the process stabs Jack instead)
Jack: ARRGHH!!!
Elizabeth: Sorry Jack, I can't get it when you're waving your arms around like that!
Jack: It's ok...as long as you, argh...as long as you...arr...As long as you call me CAPTAIN!!!
(Barbossa chucks a knife at Gollum's head, which nicks at it by an inch. Gollum falls off Jack and starts to crawl on the ground away from Barbossa.)
Gollum: Ahh! Have pity! Have pity! We just wants our preciousss. That's all we wantsess! (Crawls toward Legolas)
Legolas: (Kicks Gollum) Why did it have to come to me? Why do I have to bear it?
Gollum: (attempts to jump on top of Legolas but is thrown off) I'll gets youss, I'll be back for itss, I'll be back, my preciouss. Arrrrghaaahhh! (Gollum exits stage)
Jack: Nastly little devil! That won't be the last we see of him, next time I'll kill the thing myself...
(In the background Gandalf shakes his head and sighs)
Barbossa: Sure you will, if it doesn't get you first...heh,heh
Elizabeth: I'm sure you will Captain, I'm sure you will...
Will: Come on already, this dark, damp place is bad for my complexion.
Merry: (Comes running in) I... can't find Pippin!
Jack: Oh, great the little midgets are back...
Merry: No Jack! I can't find Pippin! And we're not midgets, we're hobbits!
Jack: What's the difference?
Merry: Oh, your hopeless...Legolas! Please help!
Legolas: What? Pippin's lost... in the caves...
Merry: Yes...(sob)
Legolas: It's ok Merry, maybe he'll show up later...
Merry: No he won't! He's gone for good! I... remember our last argument. I feel so horrible!
(Merry has a flash back)
Pippin: Now, now, Merry! Stop drinking it! Give some to me!
Merry: No, get your own!
Pippin: You're already tall enough! Give me the rest!
Merry: (Finishes off the water) Ah, too bad. It's all gone. (Burps and grows another inch.)
(Flash back ends)
Merry: I shouldn't have drunken all that water. Oh, Pippin I'm so sorry! (Gets lost in tears)
Elizabeth: It's ok, Merry. Stop crying. What does that argument have to do with Pippin becomin' lost anyway?
Merry: (stops crying) um...I don't know...
Jack: Ah, Just get over it. A real Pirate doesn't cry. Like they say: who ever falls behind, gets left behind!
(Merry cries harder)
Elizabeth: Oh Jack, stop it!
Will: Why am I being ignored?!? Let's go for goodness sake!
(Everyone starts to leave not acknowledging what Will had said.)
Will: Elizabeth!! You of all people! Hey, hey!!! (Run after the group)